Yo! Happy Wednesday!!!!

[doodlebug 3]

Trader Joe's has awesome tiramasu!!!

[maggieNomar 0]

Trader Joe's has awesome tiramasu!!!

yes but there is something added to the taste when you actually eat tiramisu in Italy!! Now stop trying to take away my excuses doodle!!

[Dr. A ♥ O 203]

I had the BEST breakfast in Milan on the way back home!!! A cappucino (authentic) and a chocolate croissant. YUM!!!!! The cannolis looked weird though so I didn't get any for the ride home even though I was looking forward to bringing some home. They had lemon stuff on them and looked wet almost.

Oh yum! I go to the Farmer's Market on Sat. and get a Chocolate Croissant when I can.

[Marry American 0]

you know, Dee, I forgot he came here on a K3 with multiple entries. My hubby and I stuck through some tough times because on a K1 while we were waiting for EAD and stuff he COULDNT leave without abandoning the whole process. Its true that your husband can come and go, maybe it IS a good idea to tell him to go if its so bad for him here and he can think it through again back home.....

glad to read that you went through tough times and stuck it out We hear a lot of the negative stuff on VJ.. I am shocked that after such a long process..even the thought of your so leaving after a short period of time is acceptable..people are willing to easily let their love go..marriage is hard..even more so when your SO comes from a different country..their is a solution..but finding it may not be quick and easy.

Is it Thursday yet? My husbands '100 Days In America' celebration starts tomorrow

Edited August 1, 2007 by i adore you

[ya falaha! 0]

If the behavior of your SO is affecting your children then it's time to take some action. No way would I allow my husband to make my children uncomfortable in their home. Children come first.

Edited August 1, 2007 by moody

[♥JP♥ 5]

If the behavior of your SO is affecting your children then it's time to take some action. No way would I allow my husband to make my children uncomfortable in their home. Children come first.

Exactly. Sometimes you need to know when to walk away. I think Dee is thinking the way she should be, as a mother. Maybe if she didn't have kids she might be willing to deal with this longer, but it seems to me that she is thinking about her kids and how this is affecting them also which I think is great.

Its true that its hard to adapt to living in this country, but that doesn't mean that he can just sit back and not put forth any effort.

[Marry American 0]

If the behavior of your SO is affecting your children then it's time to take some action. No way would I allow my husband to make my children uncomfortable in their home. Children come first.

That is another thread isn't it? However, to every problem, there lies a solution.

[Marry American 0]

If the behavior of your SO is affecting your children then it's time to take some action. No way would I allow my husband to make my children uncomfortable in their home. Children come first.

Exactly. Sometimes you need to know when to walk away. I think Dee is thinking the way she should be, as a mother. Maybe if she didn't have kids she might be willing to deal with this longer, but it seems to me that she is thinking about her kids and how this is affecting them also which I think is great.

Its true that its hard to adapt to living in this country, but that doesn't mean that he can just sit back and not put forth any effort.

Walking away from your husband after just a month or so of him being here is a good idea?

[ya falaha! 0]

Yes, under certain circumstances it is a good idea.

If the behavior of your SO is affecting your children then it's time to take some action. No way would I allow my husband to make my children uncomfortable in their home. Children come first.

Exactly. Sometimes you need to know when to walk away. I think Dee is thinking the way she should be, as a mother. Maybe if she didn't have kids she might be willing to deal with this longer, but it seems to me that she is thinking about her kids and how this is affecting them also which I think is great.

Its true that its hard to adapt to living in this country, but that doesn't mean that he can just sit back and not put forth any effort.

Walking away from your husband after just a month or so of him being here is a good idea?

[♥JP♥ 5]

If the behavior of your SO is affecting your children then it's time to take some action. No way would I allow my husband to make my children uncomfortable in their home. Children come first.

Exactly. Sometimes you need to know when to walk away. I think Dee is thinking the way she should be, as a mother. Maybe if she didn't have kids she might be willing to deal with this longer, but it seems to me that she is thinking about her kids and how this is affecting them also which I think is great.

Its true that its hard to adapt to living in this country, but that doesn't mean that he can just sit back and not put forth any effort.

Walking away from your husband after just a month or so of him being here is a good idea?

Thats a blanket statement which I have never said, so don't put words in my mouth. My advice is given for the specific situation at hand. Dee isn't simply just walking away or throwing in the towel, if you read her posts you can clearly see there is no effort coming from his side at all. As Peezey said before, Dee is not the one that needs to change, he does.

If he doesn't change or doesn't want to change, what other choice does she have?

[Marry American 0]

If the behavior of your SO is affecting your children then it's time to take some action. No way would I allow my husband to make my children uncomfortable in their home. Children come first.

Exactly. Sometimes you need to know when to walk away. I think Dee is thinking the way she should be, as a mother. Maybe if she didn't have kids she might be willing to deal with this longer, but it seems to me that she is thinking about her kids and how this is affecting them also which I think is great.

Its true that its hard to adapt to living in this country, but that doesn't mean that he can just sit back and not put forth any effort.

Walking away from your husband after just a month or so of him being here is a good idea?

Thats a blanket statement which I have never said, so don't put words in my mouth. My advice is given for the specific situation at hand. Dee isn't simply just walking away or throwing in the towel, if you read her posts you can clearly see there is no effort coming from his side at all. As Peezey said before, Dee is not the one that needs to change, he does.

If he doesn't change or doesn't want to change, what other choice does she have?

Edited August 1, 2007 by i adore you

[Marry American 0]

If the behavior of your SO is affecting your children then it's time to take some action. No way would I allow my husband to make my children uncomfortable in their home. Children come first.

Exactly. Sometimes you need to know when to walk away. I think Dee is thinking the way she should be, as a mother. Maybe if she didn't have kids she might be willing to deal with this longer, but it seems to me that she is thinking about her kids and how this is affecting them also which I think is great.

Its true that its hard to adapt to living in this country, but that doesn't mean that he can just sit back and not put forth any effort.

Walking away from your husband after just a month or so of him being here is a good idea?

Thats a blanket statement which I have never said, so don't put words in my mouth. My advice is given for the specific situation at hand. Dee isn't simply just walking away or throwing in the towel, if you read her posts you can clearly see there is no effort coming from his side at all. As Peezey said before, Dee is not the one that needs to change, he does.

If he doesn't change or doesn't want to change, what other choice does she have?

You didn't? The words were out of your mouth. And sometimes, your mate will give no effort or less than you and at other times he will work harder.

The choice is to work on the situation. If he is not putting forth effort, then that is something else that needs to be worked on. I am speaking in general, not for the case you are speaking on.

[♥JP♥ 5]

If the behavior of your SO is affecting your children then it's time to take some action. No way would I allow my husband to make my children uncomfortable in their home. Children come first.

Exactly. Sometimes you need to know when to walk away. I think Dee is thinking the way she should be, as a mother. Maybe if she didn't have kids she might be willing to deal with this longer, but it seems to me that she is thinking about her kids and how this is affecting them also which I think is great.

Its true that its hard to adapt to living in this country, but that doesn't mean that he can just sit back and not put forth any effort.

Walking away from your husband after just a month or so of him being here is a good idea?

Thats a blanket statement which I have never said, so don't put words in my mouth. My advice is given for the specific situation at hand. Dee isn't simply just walking away or throwing in the towel, if you read her posts you can clearly see there is no effort coming from his side at all. As Peezey said before, Dee is not the one that needs to change, he does.

If he doesn't change or doesn't want to change, what other choice does she have?

You didn't? The words were out of your mouth. And sometimes, your mate will give no effort or less than you and at other times he will work harder.

The choice is to work on the situation. If he is not putting forth effort, then that is something else that needs to be worked on.

I said "sometimes you need to know when to walk away" I didn't say "walking away after a month is a good idea". Those are 2 very different statements and my advice is being given for *this* particular situation at hand.

Like I said, to work on a situation requires both parties to put in effort. If one party is not willing to put forth any effort then it won't work.

Its not acceptable for a mate not put forth any effort and if that is something you are willing to accept that is your choice. However I would not ever accept to be with someone that didn't give me 100% everyday, which is exactly what I would do for him.

[Marry American 0]

If the behavior of your SO is affecting your children then it's time to take some action. No way would I allow my husband to make my children uncomfortable in their home. Children come first.

Exactly. Sometimes you need to know when to walk away. I think Dee is thinking the way she should be, as a mother. Maybe if she didn't have kids she might be willing to deal with this longer, but it seems to me that she is thinking about her kids and how this is affecting them also which I think is great.

Its true that its hard to adapt to living in this country, but that doesn't mean that he can just sit back and not put forth any effort.

Walking away from your husband after just a month or so of him being here is a good idea?

Thats a blanket statement which I have never said, so don't put words in my mouth. My advice is given for the specific situation at hand. Dee isn't simply just walking away or throwing in the towel, if you read her posts you can clearly see there is no effort coming from his side at all. As Peezey said before, Dee is not the one that needs to change, he does.

If he doesn't change or doesn't want to change, what other choice does she have?

You didn't? The words were out of your mouth. And sometimes, your mate will give no effort or less than you and at other times he will work harder.

The choice is to work on the situation. If he is not putting forth effort, then that is something else that needs to be worked on.

I said "sometimes you need to know when to walk away" I didn't say "walking away after a month is a good idea". Those are 2 very different statements and my advice is being given for *this* particular situation at hand.

Like I said, to work on a situation requires both parties to put in effort. If one party is not willing to put forth any effort then it won't work.

Its not acceptable for a mate not put forth any effort and if that is something you are willing to accept that is your choice. However I would not ever accept to be with someone that didn't give me 100% everyday, which is exactly what I would do for him.

I know more people wish they were like you and your husband; sounds perfect

And like I said, at times in most any given relationship, people give and take at different levels. Different levels are needed at times. For example, I gave a lot more time getting my situated when he first came. Now he is putting for more effort.

With the up and downs of life, I find it hard to give 100% to important people at all times.

Edited August 1, 2007 by i adore you

[♥JP♥ 5]

If the behavior of your SO is affecting your children then it's time to take some action. No way would I allow my husband to make my children uncomfortable in their home. Children come first.

Exactly. Sometimes you need to know when to walk away. I think Dee is thinking the way she should be, as a mother. Maybe if she didn't have kids she might be willing to deal with this longer, but it seems to me that she is thinking about her kids and how this is affecting them also which I think is great.

Its true that its hard to adapt to living in this country, but that doesn't mean that he can just sit back and not put forth any effort.

Walking away from your husband after just a month or so of him being here is a good idea?

Thats a blanket statement which I have never said, so don't put words in my mouth. My advice is given for the specific situation at hand. Dee isn't simply just walking away or throwing in the towel, if you read her posts you can clearly see there is no effort coming from his side at all. As Peezey said before, Dee is not the one that needs to change, he does.

If he doesn't change or doesn't want to change, what other choice does she have?

You didn't? The words were out of your mouth. And sometimes, your mate will give no effort or less than you and at other times he will work harder.

The choice is to work on the situation. If he is not putting forth effort, then that is something else that needs to be worked on.

I said "sometimes you need to know when to walk away" I didn't say "walking away after a month is a good idea". Those are 2 very different statements and my advice is being given for *this* particular situation at hand.

Like I said, to work on a situation requires both parties to put in effort. If one party is not willing to put forth any effort then it won't work.

Its not acceptable for a mate not put forth any effort and if that is something you are willing to accept that is your choice. However I would not ever accept to be with someone that didn't give me 100% everyday, which is exactly what I would do for him.

I know more people wish they were like you and your husband; sounds perfect

Look this is not about being perfect. This is about learning from mistakes. I was divorced. I gave my ex 100% everyday and he didnt even give half that. I accepted it for a long time and then I started to resent him for it. Its a no win situation and I won't repeat that mistake again.

Every woman on this forum should be with a man that values her everyday and that gives her 100% everyday. If you accept less than that, then you are short changing yourself.