Just for a laugh!

[Dakine 26]

> SOCIAL SECURITY SEX

> Two men were talking. So, how's your sex life?"

> "Oh, nothing special. I'm having Social Security sex."

> "Social Security sex?"

> "Yeah, you know: I get a little each month, but not enough to live on!"

>

> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

>

> LOUD SEX:

> A wife went in to see a therapist and said, "I've got a big problem,

> doctor.

> Every time we're in bed and my husband climaxes, he lets out this ear

> splitting yell."

> "My dear," the shrink said, "that's completely natural. I don't see what

> The problem is."

> "The problem is," she complained, "It wakes me up!"

>

> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

>

> QUIET SEX:

> Tired of a listless sex life, the man came right out and asked his wife

> during a recent lovemaking session, "How come you never tell me when you

> have an orgasm?"

> She glanced at him casually and replied, "You're never home!"

>

> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

>

> CONFOUNDED SEX

> A man was in a terrible accident, and his "manhood" was mangled and torn

> from his body. His doctor assured him that modern medicine could give him

> back his manhood, but that his insurance wouldn't cover the surgery since

> it was considered cosmetic.

> The doctor said the cost would be $3,500 for "small, $6,500 for "medium,

> $14,000 for "large." The man was sure he would want a medium or large, but

> the doctor urged him

> to talk it over with his wife before he made any decision.

> The man called his wife on the phone and explained their options. The

> Doctor came back into the room and found the man looking dejected.

> "Well, what have the two of you decided?" asked the doctor.

> The man answered, "She'd rather remodel the kitchen".

>

> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

>

> WEDDING ANNIVERSARY SEX

> A husband and his wife had a bitter quarrel on the day of their 40th

> wedding

> anniversary. The husband yells, "When you die, I'm getting you a headstone

> that reads: Here Lies My Wife - Cold As Ever'."

> "Yeah," she replies, "When you die, I'm getting you a headstone that

> reads:

> Here Lies My Husband - Stiff At Last.'"

>

> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

>

> WOMEN'S HUMOR

> My husband came home with a tube of K Y jelly and said, "This will make

> you

> happy tonight."

> He was right. When he went out of the bedroom, I squirted it all over the

> doorknobs. He couldn't get back in.

>

> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

>

> SEX AND FLYING

> One night a 87 y/o woman came home from Bingo to find her 92 y/o husband

> in

> bed with another woman. She became violent and ended up pushing him off

> the

> balcony of their 20th floor assisted living apartment ... killing him

> instantly. Brought before the court on a charge of murder, the judge asked

> her if she

> had anything to say in her defense.

> She began coolly, "Yes, your honor .... I figured that, at 92, if he could

> have sex he could fly!"

>

[L_n_O 3]

hehe, i giggled

[~*Maria*~ 1]

:lol:

[Sand 5]

LoL