Big Age difference in K1 and Indian Man !! Pls Help !!

[amlan70 0]

HI ,

Hi I am man of 30 from India and I am dating a lady of 52 from USA since 1 yr now.WE met at a online marriage site. So now we want to commensurate our relation more perfect through marriage. I haveplanned to go and date her in person for 15-20 days with a Tourist Visa to USA.While being there or after I come back to India ..... she wd apply for K1 and I wd wait here for the things to come to me.Now we have all documents like almost all chats , cams recorded , vice chats recorded , emails , courier receipts etc etc .

Is there anyone from specifically from India or may be some other country , who has gone through same situation as me ?? I mean I have been talking in the K1 forum , but all there says that so much of an age difference wd make visa officers suspect our relationship and raise too many questions.... I am just puzzled .............

Can someone share & advice me ????

[pbgirl 1]

Wow. Good luck with getting the tourist visa. I don't the Indian embassies generally give out tourist visas to people in your age range. And if they know you are going to meet your girlfriend for 3 weeks, that'll create an even faster denial.

I think you have to be prepared that the Indian embassy will regard such a large age gap as suspcious. I think you need to have her come visit you in India. You have to have met in person at least once before applying fo the K1.

[raymaga 25]

I agree with the previous poster that it might be a better idea for your fiance to visit you in Indian, rather than you coming to the U.S. You will have fulfilled the requirement of meeting in person, and you can make sure you get lots of evidence of a bona fide relationship while she is there.

Good luck.

[amlan70 0]

I understand ........ r u sure they dont give tourist visa to pople of 30 yrs of age ???? for extra precaution I am getting two invitation letters . one from her and one from my sister sataying almost near in USA ............also showing an intenary ..where all i shall visit in 20 days.

I am making arrangements that we can both visit each other beofre the application for K1.

wdnt this do ..........pls advice .its urgent for me .........

[maya62 7]

Hi Amlan70,

This is just my understanding of some of the things you ask about:

When you apply for a tourist visa, the CO will be interested in evidence that indicates you will be returning to India, and not staying in the US permanently. Proof of strong ties to your country, in addition to your letter of invitation, will help... I suggest you read this:

http://www.travel.state.gov/visa/frvi/deni...nials_1361.html

It's not that DOS doesn't issue tourist visas to people your age, just that they are less likely to issue tourist visas to people from "high-fraud" countries (I believe India would qualify) who do not have strong ties to that country. Younger people tend not to be quite so "tied" as older people, and young, unmarried men tend to be, some might say, even less "tied" to anywhere in general.

I see you have gotten some good suggestions in the K-1 forum. I agree with those posters that you may have better luck with your USC fiancee visiting you. And if I were you, I'd meet first and if you still feel the same about this woman, go for the K-1. Having done some considerable dating via internet in my single years, my experience was that I could get very enthusiastic about a certain individual, only to find when we met that there was no "chemistry" as they say. I hope she is everything you hope she will be.

And as to the age difference. When you get to the stage of Consular interview (you will be interviewed at the US Consulate that serves your area), they will be interested in determining whether or not you have become engaged to this woman for the purposes of immigrating to the US. If your relationship is not within the cultural norms of your society, this can raise a red flag for the Consular Officer.

I have limited knowledge of Indian customs, but I know in Nepal, it would be very unusual for a Hindu man to marry an older woman/divorced woman/woman with children from a previous marriage. I'm not assuming you are Hindu, or assuming anything (I hope), but I suggest you look at your relationship through the eyes of the CO. And if you think you have an obstacle there, do what you can to overcome it with evidence that your relationship is real. As someone else said in another of your threads, multiple visits is very good evidence. It should be noted, however, that multiple visits by the USC only really indicates the USC's intent (ie, not being paid to marry someone so they can immigrate and get a greencard). And I've also read from more than one source that hand-written cards are better evidence than emails because they show effort, which is something "sham" arrangements apparently lack.

Well, I hope this post isn't discouraging. You can definitely do what you are setting out to do, and I hope everything turns out just how you'd like it to. But move forward with your eyes open, and accumulate as much evidence as you can.

Whoever flies to meet whomever, be sure you save all your boarding passes! And take lots of photos on different days, with different people, in different places, wearing different clothes.

Well, that's longer than I intended! Sorry to be so wordy. Best wishes,

Maya

[Imua 0]

I have limited knowledge of Indian customs, but I know in Nepal, it would be very unusual for a Hindu man to marry an older woman...

<snip>

And I've also read from more than one source that hand-written cards are better evidence than emails because they show effort, which is something "sham" arrangements apparently lack.

<snip>

Maya

Maya didi, this is a hijack of a sort, since my situation is similar(I am 40 and G is 24):

Does it make any difference that I could be considered Hindu myself or is it a matter that a Nepali Hindu man would not even marry an older Nepali Hindu woman? I took inittiation and purification rituals at the Arya Samaj temple here in NYC in '05 and was given a Hindu name - I am planning on providing a copy of the certificate which they gave me with our petition or at the interview. When we went to the US Consulate in KTM(remember that place?) for me to get the notarized affadavit declaring that I was single and free to marry the CO(a young blondish woman as I recall) asked if I was Hindu.

Sometimes I am freaking because as I see it we have 3 red flags:

1) Our age difference

2) We had a short courtship before marriage

3) It is unusual for a Hindu to marry an older woman

All I can do is pray Om Gam Ganapatiye Namah, Lord Ganesh please remove our obstacles...

I have asked G to send me some cards and letters instead of just email, hoping that will help - we are chatting and emailing daily and looking for the best way to call KTM - any ideas?

Edited July 31, 2007 by Pattu Rani

[maya62 7]

Dang, you know I thought of you specifically when I tried to go back and edit to remove the "very" in front of "unusual" in the 5th paragraph! But I was too late... I'm sorry if I contributed to your angst.

I can't claim any particular insight into Hindu customs... I can ask S tonight and see what he says. But in the meantime, I'd ask G if he knows of other examples of Hindu men marrying older women, especially if it is documented somewhere. Anthropologists love to study and write about this kind of thing... maybe there's a book or article somewhere. That's what saved us (I think). I really think the best way to overcome these potential red flags is to document as much evidence of relationship as you can.

Did you wear a kurta surwal to the Consulate? I think it is GREAT that the CO asked you if you are Hindu. Let's hope she made a note of it. But you know, I think it is G's intent, rather than yours, that is more likely to be questioned. So I'd focus on that. You guys spent a lot of time together during your short courtship that I don't think sham couples would do, so I'd make SURE to document that well (I'd write a page for question 18 and tell all about what you did - especially meeting his family- prior to getting married... it's not exactly like you waltzed into the Little White Wedding Chapel - or whatever you call it- in Las Vegas the day after you met... ).

And my understanding is that urban Hindus are more likely to be more open-minded about these matters and flexible with their customs than rural Hindus (and please nobody flame me for that wild generalization... I'm well aware there are probably many, many exceptions to that statement).

As for calling Ktm, I'd find whatever is the cheapest way to call often and still receive some kind of good documentation of the calls. Call me stupid, but I just used my regular long-distance so it would show up on my home phone bill. But we only did that a few times....

Sorry I can't be more help. I'll do a search for anything I can find about Hindu marriage customs and let you know if anything useful turns up...

We prayed to Ganesh and Buddha both... I think it helped.

Hugs,

Maya

[doc_cute 0]

i think it would be rather god if your girl comes n stays with you , rather than u going on tourist visa!

but still u need to go it would be very advisable to do a tourist visa counselling from very competent attorneys for tourist visa rather than trying out yourself !

[doc_cute 0]

i think it would be rather god if your girl comes n stays with you , rather than u going on tourist visa!

but still u need to go it would be very advisable to do a tourist visa counselling from very competent attorneys for tourist visa rather than trying out yourself !

this message for OP amlan 70

[MaryandMian 1]

Hello Amlan70,

I have a friend that married a younger Indian man and she ended up visiting him since it was a little harder for him to get a tourist visa. She applied for him a K1 and they were eventually approved but they endured AR/AP for about 2-3 months and interviewed more than once. The second interview was with the fraud unit. I suggest maybe that she come to visit you like the others have stated, gather plenty of evidence and make sure to keep records of phone calls. I used the house phone for long distance records once a week calls and then used calling cards to talk daily on the phone, internet chats printed off, etc. The difference in your ages will be looked at more closely but that does not mean you will be denied. Good luck.

Mary

HI ,

Hi I am man of 30 from India and I am dating a lady of 52 from USA since 1 yr now.WE met at a online marriage site. So now we want to commensurate our relation more perfect through marriage. I haveplanned to go and date her in person for 15-20 days with a Tourist Visa to USA.While being there or after I come back to India ..... she wd apply for K1 and I wd wait here for the things to come to me.Now we have all documents like almost all chats , cams recorded , vice chats recorded , emails , courier receipts etc etc .

Is there anyone from specifically from India or may be some other country , who has gone through same situation as me ?? I mean I have been talking in the K1 forum , but all there says that so much of an age difference wd make visa officers suspect our relationship and raise too many questions.... I am just puzzled .............

Can someone share & advice me ????

[chri'stina 190]

I agree that it'd be hard to get a tourist visa. My husband applied for a tourist visa a year and a half after we started talking online and was denied at the interview. They basically told him because he didn't own property in India in his name, he needed more proof that he would be returning to India. Of course he was going to return to India, he was just going to visit here, but you have to have a lot of proof of strong ties to India to get a tourist visa from what I have heard. And sometimes that is even harder to prove when younger. Maya wrote good details.

So after his tourist visa denial I did go to India instead about 7 months later with my father.

We don't have the age issue though, he is 4 years older than me.

Your age gap may raise suspicions but there was a couple on here awhile ago who had as large of a gap and they were approved eventually, though they had a couple interviews and admin review before finally getting approved(maybe Mary is talking about the same). So I wouldn't say there is no hope because it has happened for others in your situation, but just be prepared for a possibly tough ride.

Edited July 31, 2007 by stina&suj

[ELW 5]

Hello, late to the party as usual, due to a looong work day.

First of all amlan70, I agree with the other posters, especially the great info from Maya62 & stina&suj, especially about the difficulty in obtaining a tourist visa to USA. Read up on the requirements online and if you feel you have VERY strong ties to India, certainly you can go ahead and try for the visa. If it fails, your girlfriend can easily get a visa to India to visit you.

As for the age difference, I have heard of a number of cases where the visa was granted to people in your situation. My husband and I have a 16-year age difference (I am 42 and my now-husband is 26), and we got a visa with no problem. However, plus points was that I was living in India for 21 years and knew him for several years, and neither of us have ever been married or have children. Indian consulates do tend to look more carefully at cases where the USC woman has children from previous relationships. Talking online for over a year is a good thing in your favor.

Pattu Rani (and I LOVE your new screen name ), I’d say it is a great PLUS that you are a Hindu, like your husband. Age difference may raise a question but as we know, many couples have gotten visas with that. Main problem is the short courtship. However like Maya said, provide lots of evidence of the time you spent together, and especially the good relationship with your in-laws (that is seen as VERY important in the culture) and I think you’ll do fine!

[Imua 0]

Hello, late to the party as usual, due to a looong work day.

First of all amlan70, I agree with the other posters, especially the great info from Maya62 & stina&suj, especially about the difficulty in obtaining a tourist visa to USA. Read up on the requirements online and if you feel you have VERY strong ties to India, certainly you can go ahead and try for the visa. If it fails, your girlfriend can easily get a visa to India to visit you.

As for the age difference, I have heard of a number of cases where the visa was granted to people in your situation. My husband and I have a 16-year age difference (I am 42 and my now-husband is 26), and we got a visa with no problem. However, plus points was that I was living in India for 21 years and knew him for several years, and neither of us have ever been married or have children. Indian consulates do tend to look more carefully at cases where the USC woman has children from previous relationships. Talking online for over a year is a good thing in your favor.

Pattu Rani (and I LOVE your new screen name ), I’d say it is a great PLUS that you are a Hindu, like your husband. Age difference may raise a question but as we know, many couples have gotten visas with that. Main problem is the short courtship. However like Maya said, provide lots of evidence of the time you spent together, and especially the good relationship with your in-laws (that is seen as VERY important in the culture) and I think you’ll do fine!

I tried to send you a PM last night replying to the one you sent me, but when I tried to close another browser window IE7 closed all of them and PM was lost ....grrr time to switch to Firefox...

I just realized the age difference between G and I is the same as between you and your hubby - so there's hope for us. We are also both never-married, no kids.

Pattu Rani is G's nickname for me because I LOVE parrots and birds in general. Don't you miss waking up in the morning and hearing the mynahs and crows outside your window?

[Nikita2Charles 32]

Not too much to add, one suggestion what field are you into? If you have a good job in India basically something that establish strong ties to India, but I would sway away from even mentioning you have your girlfriend or fiancee in the US that would be a red flag with the consulate, it might raise suspicion that you are a higher risk of not coming back. It's best if she can come and visit you in India, as it's nto difficult for American to get a tourist Visa to India(yeap she needs an indian visa- one of a few countries that ask for American to get Visa). While in India, you can take lot of pictures, group pictures with family, at the same time she can get confortable with your folks, so by the time your interview comes, even if you do go to(AR) Administrative review you would have a mounting of evidence to show a GENUINE relationship.

I sent out an invite for my sister in law over a year ago, she's under 30 and she got a 10year B2 tourist visa, so it's not impossible but your proofs has to be tight.

Paper submitted

My invitation letter stating our relationship as in laws, she's coming over to see us, the time she will be here in the US, and a letter from her company stating she's taking leave from that time frame and she's due back to work on such and such date.

The lease for her apt

Financial statements.

I hope that help, and wishing you the best of luck.

Edited August 1, 2007 by Nikita2Charles

[ELW 5]

Pattu Rani: About the lost PM, been there, done that.

Yes, age difference is not such a BIG thing for a visa refusal. And never married, no children is always a big PLUS.

Ah yes, the mynahs and crows outside my window in the mornings.... forgot about that... I'm feeling homesick!

You look so pretty and you both look so cute together! Thanks for showing the pic!

Edited August 1, 2007 by ELW