84 Percent Couples - Money Creates Tension in Marriage

[rika60607 215]

Nope,

imagine one spouse being the debt free/I'd rather use cheap services/food/cloths than be in debt, and the other one thinking like this - well, a SMALL debt is okay to get what we want right now, RIGHT?!

So, as a person unwilling to have any debt, I always had extra money to invest and use for emergencies (I was making less than my SO), no money anxiety in my life!...

and my SO was always in debt and not having those $500 to pitch in for vacation for the two of us...

Guess what we argue about now that we are married?

Rika

Money creates stress in life, even if you're not married, no?

True. It's just when you are married, you will have someone to argue with.

[Trompe le Monde 1,107]

I am lucky that my husband and I are on the same page about money - we hate debt and we love investments.

[SteveLaura 0]

I'm still trying to be more disciplined with spending. We both like to eat out - it makes me cringe when I think of how much we spent on dining in restaurants per month.

We found having a budget for everything (and I mean EVERYTHING - even down to haircuts & cat-related spending ) helped us, plus allowing each of us a wad of cash every month for whatever we want - there's your meals out, if you like. It took a while and still needs tweaking now & then, but it works. Look at past bills and bank statements, and obviously you'll get an idea what each budget should be. Cut out the unneccesary stuff (or keep that for your personal monthly do-what-you-want cash) and as long as all the budgets add up to your income, Bob's yer uncle. Oh, and even before you start paying off debt aggressively, build up an Emergency Fund. Preferably one that will see you thru at least 3 months of unemployment. Six months, if you can do it. Then even if something comes at you hard, you don't immediately have to run up debt again.

[Cassie 8]

I'm still trying to be more disciplined with spending. We both like to eat out - it makes me cringe when I think of how much we spent on dining in restaurants per month.

We found having a budget for everything (and I mean EVERYTHING - even down to haircuts & cat-related spending ) helped us, plus allowing each of us a wad of cash every month for whatever we want - there's your meals out, if you like. It took a while and still needs tweaking now & then, but it works. Look at past bills and bank statements, and obviously you'll get an idea what each budget should be. Cut out the unneccesary stuff (or keep that for your personal monthly do-what-you-want cash) and as long as all the budgets add up to your income, Bob's yer uncle. Oh, and even before you start paying off debt aggressively, build up an Emergency Fund. Preferably one that will see you thru at least 3 months of unemployment. Six months, if you can do it. Then even if something comes at you hard, you don't immediately have to run up debt again.

have you been reading Dave Ramsey????

Steve, I hear you about eating out, we did that all the time as well..... until the night we sat down with a three month printout of our checking account statement and categorized our expenses. Seeing how much we spent in eating out totalled up in black and white made us gasp, it was scary. So we tried an experiment where we figured out how much per month we were spending and then cut it in half, and tried to see if we could stick to that budget when it came to eating out. It totally worked -- we don't go running to the fast food places all the time, and saved up our money to go for fewer meals out at better places until it's now our habit. Now we are doing that experiment with other areas in our budget, it's really helped.

[SteveLaura 0]

have you been reading Dave Ramsey????

No, but maybe the bloke we talked to had!

I get a bit zealous about all the budgeting stuff now, I admit. But, blimey, it feels so good not to have to worry about money all the time. Knowing that we're not blowing huge amounts on interest, or scratching our heads when the bills come in, or justifying our meals out, and knowing that we're on track to reach our goals. It's pretty cool.

[Marilyn. 340]

I am the most ####### freak when it comes to money I know I drive my husband nuts, but I feel obligated to be very responsible and frugal. I've been dirt poor in the past, and I don't ever want to be that way again. I can't stand people who get a little bit of money and splurge or rich people who waste money on a $50k toilet cover

i grew up wearing clothes from the thrift store etc... we hardly ever got new clothes etc.... we hardly ever ate out....

so now i try and keep a tight reign on our money but I am not very successful because my hubby was brought up completely different then me... he always got new sneakers, new clothes etc... basically anything he wanted....

We saw a free financial adviser at the end of last year. Completely opened our eyes. Since then, with his advice, we have now paid off 2 credit cards, a furniture loan, one car loan and the 2nd car loan will hopefully be gone in a few weeks - debt-free! Woo-hoo! All the money that was being wasted on interest is now going to be going towards the down payment for a lovely little home of our own next summer.

That's awesome! I'm still trying to be more disciplined with spending. We both like to eat out - it makes me cringe when I think of how much we spent on dining in restaurants per month.

we like to eat out a lot too... and it is too easy to do here in the LA area because there are so many good places to eat

we just recently paid off all our credit cards with a loan from our 401K.... I was happy because I wouldn't have to worry about making sure I sent some money to each credit card each month... but now hubby had to buy a bunch of tools and equipment for his new profession that he wants to start soon so now we owe money on our credit cards again.... it is a never-ending cycle

and then we splurged and bought a computer with part of the money from the loan.. that one was my fault.. I convinced hubby that we needed a new computer and it was a good deal...

it should be ok though because hubby says he will be making good money at his new job... but I am just worried that we will just spend more money because we have more money.... I really want to start saving up money for a rainy day.....

[Cassie 8]

have you been reading Dave Ramsey????

No, but maybe the bloke we talked to had!

I get a bit zealous about all the budgeting stuff now, I admit. But, blimey, it feels so good not to have to worry about money all the time. Knowing that we're not blowing huge amounts on interest, or scratching our heads when the bills come in, or justifying our meals out, and knowing that we're on track to reach our goals. It's pretty cool.

hehe I asked because we've read some of his stuff, and that's what he advocates -- start an emergency fund, start paying off debt one by one (pay mins on rest, put extra on the target), then fully fund the emergency fund, then retirement, etc.. Of course, this a huge simplification of his plan, but we have been loosely following it and it's been working for us.

I'm with you, seeing us getting closer to our goal every month is very gratifying and motivating!

[one...two...tree 2,762]

I'm still trying to be more disciplined with spending. We both like to eat out - it makes me cringe when I think of how much we spent on dining in restaurants per month.

We found having a budget for everything (and I mean EVERYTHING - even down to haircuts & cat-related spending ) helped us, plus allowing each of us a wad of cash every month for whatever we want - there's your meals out, if you like. It took a while and still needs tweaking now & then, but it works. Look at past bills and bank statements, and obviously you'll get an idea what each budget should be. Cut out the unneccesary stuff (or keep that for your personal monthly do-what-you-want cash) and as long as all the budgets add up to your income, Bob's yer uncle. Oh, and even before you start paying off debt aggressively, build up an Emergency Fund. Preferably one that will see you thru at least 3 months of unemployment. Six months, if you can do it. Then even if something comes at you hard, you don't immediately have to run up debt again.

Great advice! It's easy to lose track of the dining out spending when using debit cards...perhaps we'll set aside some cash per month and stop using plastic.

[Bree 0]

It is funny that you mention Dave Ramsey, because I love to listen to him. If you haven't heard his program you should take a peek at it..we are just tracking our expenses here and about to start on the 'debt snowball'. Really glad we have very little debt, but it still drives me crazy that dh likes the credit cards so much!

Oh, and not sure where I heard it...I think it was Dave Ramsey, that the number one cause of divorce in America, was related to money issues.

Edited August 1, 2007 by Bree

[one...two...tree 2,762]

Just curious how everyone here uses a credit card? Are there some purchases that you refuse to put on credit?

[Trompe le Monde 1,107]

I use a credit card for almost everything (no groceries) as a charge card and pay it off every month - I mostly use it for frequent flier miles otherwise I'd probably just use a debit card.

[Caladan 19]

Until recently the only credit card I carried was an American Express. No limit, but you always have to pay it off at the end of every month. Now I have a mastercard with a $500 limit and I will put anything on it as the rule is that it must be paid off at the end of the month.

C. has not historically been good with money (though a champ about paying off all of his debts, student and otherwise, in nine months before moving here), so our financial plan for the moment is for him to give me all the money and for me to give him an allowance.

[Dan J 277]

Just curious how everyone here uses a credit card? Are there some purchases that you refuse to put on credit?

I never use my credit card unless I have to. I have a debit/check card with my checking account for the convenience factor. That and no places really take checks anymore. At least not in the city.

[one...two...tree 2,762]

I use a credit card for almost everything (no groceries) as a charge card and pay it off every month - I mostly use it for frequent flier miles otherwise I'd probably just use a debit card.

Do you ever have a revolving balance, for large purchases...say a trip to IKEA for furniture?

[bhajishah 4]

$$$$$$$$$$$.. is the root of evil..and the #1 issue in marriage problems..dr dean

Yah brother Dean. have them to tell him or her to get a job and gget off the computer.. hehehe