Do I have a chance to visit my boyfriend in USA?

[Beauty by Tsuki 3]

I met my current boyfriend a few months ago through online games. We're both at our early 30s and like each other that we decided to be serious about our relationship, but agree that it'd be better to meet irl first. It's only natural that I'm the one who visit him in the US because I come from Indonesia, which is a homophobic country and I'm planning to do it by applying for tourist visa. Besides, if we are getting serious, of course I'm the one who's going to go there. Additional info: he has a steady job with tight schedule, I'm currently unemployed and almost finish my education, he resides in New Mexico, I have more than 10k$ in my savings, I'm currently living with my parents so no property in my name although one of my parent's car is in my name, I've been to Singapore and Saudi Arabia (muslim pilgrimage which I did because I am closeted) in the past 7 years, have a plan to go to Singapore again in December (not guaranteed yet). We are talking about meeting in either Canada or New Mexico, but would love to meet in his house instead, getting to know his family and the environment he lives in. I know my case would be hard, nevertheless I wonder what should I do to convince them that I'm going to come back to Indonesia. Thanks for the help.

Edited September 18, 2023 by Beauty by Tsuki

[Boiler 45,449]

There is always a chance.

 

What can you do, get a good job to help with your ties issue.

[OldUser 6,608]

You can always try applying, but chance of approval is pretty low. You can meet elsewhere in the world.

[Mike E 11,739]

Meet in Thailand.

[Dashinka 24,480]

Yes, I agree with @Mike E, you may want to think about a back-up plan in case your B2 application is denied.

 

Good Luck!

[Verrou 1,962]

file B2 visa. if got denied, ur boyfriend can come to visit you in Indonesia easily with visa on arrival. easier that way, now i cant give opinion about his tight schedule. 

 

i'm from indonesia so i know theres no issue for gay person visiting their bf in indonesia. i have many gay friends in indonesia and they're bf overseas visited them in Indonesia with no issue.

 

if you by any chance not comfortable to meet him in ur home town for some reason / small city or whatever, meet up in surabaya/ jakarta/Bali. i was born in Surabaya, live in Jakarta for 3 years and Bali for 5 years, gay community is quite big in those cities same like Bangkok. 

Edited September 18, 2023 by Verrou

[Beauty by Tsuki 3]

Thank so much for all the suggestions, definitely would think about it further. I have to admit money is also our obstacle because we have a limited amount of it, so every decision feels like make or break. Also, I live near Jakarta and I don't notice any kind of gay communities there, we are oppressed and signs of queerness in the public would only invite public backlash and even criminal prosecution. If there's one it's definitely at night and very hush hush and to picture it as big I feel like is a misnomer. Besides, once again, I'm closeted (in the meantime) and to venture there with the risk of being raided is not for me.

[Verrou 1,962]

1 hour ago, Beauty by Tsuki said:

Thank so much for all the suggestions, definitely would think about it further. I have to admit money is also our obstacle because we have a limited amount of it, so every decision feels like make or break. Also, I live near Jakarta and I don't notice any kind of gay communities there, we are oppressed and signs of queerness in the public would only invite public backlash and even criminal prosecution. If there's one it's definitely at night and very hush hush and to picture it as big I feel like is a misnomer. Besides, once again, I'm closeted (in the meantime) and to venture there with the risk of being raided is not for me.

In my understanding they won’t know people are gay unless you do super PDA (public displays of affection). But even heterosexual couples can’t do a lot of PDA because of Asian culture - so any PDA for any kind of couple, gay or not gay is still unacceptable. 
 

The reason that I mention this is because I don’t want our country to be generalized as a homophobic country. Of course there are homophobic people anywhere.

 

I really hope you will get the tourist visa, but if you cant get it, like I said…your bf can come to indonesia safely and won’t be stoned. 

[Cathi 5,746]

I agree with everyone else, there is no harm in trying. If you don't get approved, meet in a neutral country. FYI, I've been to Thailand and it's absolutely beautiful, it would be a great country to meet in if you're denied. Best of luck!

[Beauty by Tsuki 3]

 

34 minutes ago, Verrou said:

In my understanding they won’t know people are gay unless you do super PDA (public displays of affection). But even heterosexual couples can’t do a lot of PDA because of Asian culture - so any PDA for any kind of couple, gay or not gay is still unacceptable. 
 

The reason that I mention this is because I don’t want our country to be generalized as a homophobic country. Of course there are homophobic people anywhere.

 

I really hope you will get the tourist visa, but if you cant get it, like I said…your bf can come to indonesia safely and won’t be stoned. 

This is going to be my last post in this topic, but I want to reemphasize that our country is a homophobic country and any narrative to frame it less is misleading and it could be potentially dangerous for the LGBT people who actually live in Indonesia because international pressure could subside with that framing. Just because LGBT people doesn't get death penalty for being LGBT doesn't mean it's not a homophobic country. Living in hiding, constant fear of being raided while out and about and only can do it at the death of a night, no protection from the government, risk of being fired from work, 90% of Indonesian citizen polled felt threatened by the LGBT community, extra marital law that could target LGBT community while getting old while being single is still looked down upon, constant hate in social media for being out, self hate that still rampant amongst LGBT people, every LGBT rights group should operate in low profile, just a few months ago ASEAN LGBT Advocacy Week in Jakarta was cancelled and moved because of massive protest from the citizen including the biggest most influential religious group and the government was basically saying nothing. Oh, and of course no same sex legalization.

 

Thank you so much for the suggestion and yes, my boyfriend could come to Indonesia safely and won't be stoned, but that doesn't mean there's no limitation and what little freedom he has would only be because his foreign citizenship (and he looks foreign), but I would not put him through that, also we're both not in abundance of money and when every decision is a make or break, we couldn't afford to buy our way through the law if something happens.

Edited September 19, 2023 by Beauty by Tsuki

[Mike E 11,739]

2 hours ago, Beauty by Tsuki said:

. I have to admit money is also our obstacle

Immigration is expensive. People who cannot afford to travel to meet cannot afford the K-1 process, as it costs 2-3 times more than a CR-1.

 

Your dream of living together might have to wait until at least one of you has improved personal finances.

[Ontarkie 14,218]

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