can you tell the difference?

[nijusjaanu 0]

so for the past 2 weeks i thought i might have a baby in me. it's always been a nerve-wracking subject for me, but i kinda got used to the idea and was all excited about testing ... then all the "symptoms" went away, so i think i just had a stomach bug.....

be that as it may....

i told nizzar about it ... what i was feeling, what i was afraid of/nervous of .. the reasons we shouldn't have a baby right now ... and over and over, he hugged me and said "it's ok ... if you're pregnant, this baby is a gift from god ... we're not prepared, but god will give us whatever we need for it, just like with everything else. whatever the outcome is, it's ok." and i felt better about it.

but this weekend, i went out with my mom (after i realized i probably wasn't...) and the subject of babies came up, so i told her that i thought i was going to have one, but that now it didn't look like it. so she just kinda shakes her head and makes a little face and says she's "not ready for it" and that she wants grandkids but "not yet" and all that ... like i'm still 16 years old. flabbergasted, i said, "but i'm allowed!" and all i could think was "what if i AM pregnant and you just said this!" so i said "well, i guess if i ever am, i won't tell you if you're going to act like this!" but i think she thought i was joking, and she said "no. when the time is right, i'll be ready." all i could think was "that day could have been today and you freaked. i'm not telling you." and dropped the subject.

thanks for the support, mom.

[Fischkoepfin 1]

Parents!

I haven't been there myself in a while; my mom really wants grandkids now because all her friends have some. But I totally know what you're talking about.

A friend's mom freaked out when she heard my friend was pregnant and only got over it after the baby was there because she (the mom) had decided my friend and her SO weren't ready (at age 34). She's the happiest grandma now though, but still doesn't think my friend was ready for a baby.

Don't let your mom get to you about things that concern you more than her (your prospective children fall into that category). I know it hurts but it's your and Nizzar's life and not hers anymore. Parents, and moms in particular, just have an extremely hard time grasping that concept.

[nijusjaanu 0]

Parents!

I haven't been there myself in a while; my mom really wants grandkids now because all her friends have some. But I totally know what you're talking about.

A friend's mom freaked out when she heard my friend was pregnant and only got over it after the baby was there because she (the mom) had decided my friend and her SO weren't ready (at age 34). She's the happiest grandma now though, but still doesn't think my friend was ready for a baby.

Don't let your mom get to you about things that concern you more than her (your prospective children fall into that category). I know it hurts but it's your and Nizzar's life and not hers anymore. Parents, and moms in particular, just have an extremely hard time grasping that concept.

yeah, she fought me tooth and nail about marrying nizzar, too. so basically anything "mushy" she doesn't like and also doesn't want me to like. ::spit:: you're right ... it's our life, not hers

[raymaga 25]

I tell my 3 grown kids all the time that I'm "not ready" to be a Gramma yet, but if it ever were to happen, they would have my total support, love and understanding (as long as they were in loving committed relationships and financially able to support a child, of course).

I am pretty sure that even if she feels this way now, once that baby arrives, her heart will melt and her feelings will completely change. I love that bumper sticker.... "If I'd known grandchildren were so much fun, I would have had them first".

If you aren't expecting right now, whenever you do want to have a child, that's between you and your husband. Your Mom will just have to accept it.... you AREN'T 16 anymore.

Best wishes.

Edited April 3, 2006 by raymaga

[w¡n9Nµ7 §£@¥€r 123]

... my mom really wants grandkids now because all her friends have some.

lol, why can't parents be like kids and just ask for toys?

[nijusjaanu 0]

... my mom really wants grandkids now because all her friends have some.

lol, why can't parents be like kids and just ask for toys?

heh ... "all my friends have them." sounds like a good time to whip out the good ol "if all your friends jumped off a bridge ....." hehe

[canadalaura 0]

Who cares - it's not her choice it's yours (and your husband's of course). I'm sure she would come around... who wouldn't love a cuti-pie grandchild!

[nijusjaanu 0]

Who cares - it's not her choice it's yours (and your husband's of course). I'm sure she would come around... who wouldn't love a cuti-pie grandchild!

everyone does keep saying that nizzar and i will have the prettiest children

[Saddle Bronc 124]

... my mom really wants grandkids now because all her friends have some.

lol, why can't parents be like kids and just ask for toys?

Actually, they ARE asking for toys in a sense; they just want the toys to be LIVE and INTERACTIVE.

[canadalaura 0]

I can't wait to have kids - we had a scare a few months ago and when it tunred out I wasn't, we were actually dissapointed! But really, for the best - I want us to be settled in a house we own (well, pay a mortgage on) first

[w¡n9Nµ7 §£@¥€r 123]

I want us to be settled in a house we own (well, pay a mortgage on)

Yeah, paying off debt for 30 years.. the Amurican dream!

[canadalaura 0]

I want us to be settled in a house we own (well, pay a mortgage on)

Yeah, paying off debt for 30 years.. the Amurican dream!

Can't wait! And hey, it beats rent

[w¡n9Nµ7 §£@¥€r 123]

I want us to be settled in a house we own (well, pay a mortgage on)

Yeah, paying off debt for 30 years.. the Amurican dream!

Can't wait! And hey, it beats rent

Does it? After owning a home for 2+ years, I am beginning to question that. In my particular case, the home has appreciated but what happens to my next home purchase? Times may be different and prices may stay flat or they may go down. As for the tax deductions, that's really just a discount on your mortgage and prop tax payments, courtesy of the IRS. So if I were to move to a cheaper area (say, the Carolinas) where rent is less than the mortgage+prop tax payments minus the deduction.... then is buying still better than renting?

These are some of the thoughts that have been swirling around in my mind lately.

Sorry, that was off-topic

[faith 0]

I have a friend that was pregnant last summer. When she first got pregnant her mother told her that she shouldn't have the baby even though she was married and ready to do so. Her mom harped on it so much and threatened to sell all the baby stuff that was bought for her at the baby shower. She was adamant that she wasn't ready.

When my friend went into labor full term, her placenta separated from her uterus prematurely and the baby ended up dying.

Point: the mom felt horrible about what she had said and was genuinely sad that the baby had died.

A lot of moms tell you they aren't ready... but it's not their decision. I'm sure that if you are pregnant or had you been your mom would have been singing a different tune by the time the baby came, and really, that's all that matters.

[nijusjaanu 0]

I have a friend that was pregnant last summer. When she first got pregnant her mother told her that she shouldn't have the baby even though she was married and ready to do so. Her mom harped on it so much and threatened to sell all the baby stuff that was bought for her at the baby shower. She was adamant that she wasn't ready.

When my friend went into labor full term, her placenta separated from her uterus prematurely and the baby ended up dying.

Point: the mom felt horrible about what she had said and was genuinely sad that the baby had died.

A lot of moms tell you they aren't ready... but it's not their decision. I'm sure that if you are pregnant or had you been your mom would have been singing a different tune by the time the baby came, and really, that's all that matters.

how terrible for your friend!!

and you guys are all right ... my mom will change her mind when the little guy wiggles in the blanket a little