My husband is a narcissist

[B&DT 5]

9 minutes ago, Boiler said:

We have had members apply for VAWA through Consular processing, not common, but I have seen it happen.

 

I do not think I have come across a case where the non USC has reported their spouse to USCIS, maybe I have forgotten, no reason of course why not. I see the main benefit is that this would make it very difficult for him to sponsor somebody else.

 

I agree with the other posters, your first focus should be getting your life back on track, filing for divorce, I think you have 2 years from the date of divorce to file VAWA. You can divorce in your home country.

Thank you,  I have learned that the internet is his playground and i wouldn't wish upon anyone to experience what i have, so if he could be "flagged" at USCIS that would be the best tbh. 

I was clever enough to bring the marriage certificate with me home. So i will divorce him from Denmark.

Im just very confused right now sorry. 

 

[TBoneTX 45,248]

Sincerely sorry about your situation.  You're doing the right thing by asking here.  Things WILL get better.

 

I would also try to talk to a consular officer at your U.S. consulate.  This serves the dual purpose of handling the official business surrounding your not proceeding with the visa, and also getting accurate, complete advice about how to proceed.  Consider doing this promptly.

[B&DT 5]

20 minutes ago, TBoneTX said:

with

Thank you so much ! I will do that right away

[SalishSea 17,801]

Very sorry, but one of the VAWA requirements is that you’ve lived together in the US.   Sounds like you have only visited on VWP etc.

[Family 3,988]

What you have described will not meet the VAWA standards. ..inasmuch as the multitude of chat logs did not scare, intimidate or threaten you and only now as you filter them through the heartbreak lens do they seem bad. 
 

Cheating , relationship stressors and even grifting are par for the course in long distance ..though he may have imagined himself more as a Sugar Baby than a Provider Husband.

 

If your marriage won’t survive the infidelity, future hopes of green card via VAWA are unrealistic.  Flagging him w USCIS will shine unwanted attention on you too. For now you are able to come and go as you please..don’t risk it

[B&DT 5]

4 minutes ago, Family said:

What you have described will not meet the VAWA standards. ..inasmuch as the multitude of chat logs did not scare, intimidate or threaten you and only now as you filter them through the heartbreak lens do they seem bad. 
 

Cheating , relationship stressors and even grifting are par for the course in long distance ..though he may have imagined himself more as a Sugar Baby than a Provider Husband.

 

If your marriage won’t survive the infidelity, future hopes of green card via VAWA are unrealistic.  Flagging him w USCIS will shine unwanted attention on you too. For now you are able to come and go as you please..don’t risk it

With all respect you dont really know whats in the chat logs. A laywer called it a def. Entering marriage with false intend.. 

I might not qualify for vawa but why would that risk me coming to US ? 

[Family 3,988]

3 minutes ago, B&DT said:

11 minutes ago, Family said:

What you have described will not meet the VAWA standards. ..inasmuch as the multitude of chat logs did not scare, intimidate or threaten you and only now as you filter them through the heartbreak lens do they seem bad. 
 

Cheating , relationship stressors and even grifting are par for the course in long distance ..though he may have imagined himself more as a Sugar Baby than a Provider Husband.

 

If your marriage won’t survive the infidelity, future hopes of green card via VAWA are unrealistic.  Flagging him w USCIS will shine unwanted attention on you too. For now you are able to come and go as you please..don’t risk it

Expand  

With all respect you dont really know whats in the chat logs. A laywer called it a def. Entering marriage with false intend.. 

I might not qualify for vawa but why would that risk me coming to US ? 

Risk presumption you were complicit in some way and paid for immigration benefit..

If you have grounds for marriage fraud, then get it annulment ( not divorce) in Denmark . If you pull that off hats off, you are Scott free and can repost him all day long.

[Redro 4,611]

37 minutes ago, B&DT said:

With all respect you dont really know whats in the chat logs. A laywer called it a def. Entering marriage with false intend.. 

I might not qualify for vawa but why would that risk me coming to US ? 

What counts as fraud in divorce court

 (where only one party is guilty) might count as immigration fraud (by both parties)… Have you spoken to an immigration lawyer FROM THE US or a divorce lawyer FROM THE US/ Sweden…?

you cannot be sure of how USCIS will read the texts and they might believe you are 1.) complicit and 2.) altered the texts in some way to hide your role in the immigration fraud plan. 
You have been supporting him and they might believe you agreed to give  him money in exchange for a green card. 
make sure to consult with an immigration attorney based out of US for the best plan forward if you want to report him to USCIS. But be aware… he could easily start another relationship with someone else. nothing is stopping him from carrying out a similar plan of scamming someone for money with the promise of marriage and living together in the US… you reporting your experience to USCIS in most cases will shine a light on you and possibly prevent you from obtaining an immigration benefit in the future. e.g. if you fall in love with another American they might believe the new relationship is also not real. 

Edited July 31, 2023 by Redro

[Boiler 45,442]

I do not know what the evidence is.

 

I do not know how the Danish Family Courts work. I do know someone who is Danish and who divorced but never asked how it worked.

 

Even in the US annulment is not that simple and varies by State.

[B&DT 5]

8 hours ago, Redro said:

9 hours ago, B&DT said:

 

What counts as fraud in divorce court

 (where only one party is guilty) might count as immigration fraud (by both parties)… Have you spoken to an immigration lawyer FROM THE US or a divorce lawyer FROM THE US/ Sweden…?

 None of the above. A Fraud specialist laywer from the US.

You seem to mix all this up with Visa fraud. There is no visa fraud in all this but plain fraud  and false intend to marry for financial benefit.  This is plain criminal charge or charge for a civil lawsuit.

I would probably qualify for a work visa as a Nurse. 

Unfortunately anullment is not a thing in Michigan as i understand it.  

Im simply trying to figure my way around this situation. 

 

 

 

[AnotherLove 34]

On 7/31/2023 at 3:35 AM, B&DT said:

Since May my husbands behavior changed alot. Suddenly silent treatment while i was there and finding out about other women. We have spousal visa pending. I have visiting every 3 months staying for 3 weeks. I left after 5 days with my personal stuff. I was completely in shock and had a very bad feeling. We been together 2 years and married 10 months. I have temporary living in my country getting ready for GC. Only a bed and personal belongings. I have read through chat logs etc. And there is no doubt that he has been grooming me, gaslighting, silent treatment, lies..lies 

Phew. I’m sorry you’re going through this. Looks like he is a decomposed pile of garbage - like mine. Will read this whole thread now. 

[B&DT 5]

1 minute ago, AnotherLove said:

Phew. I’m sorry you’re going through this. Looks like he is a decomposed pile of garbage - like mine. Will read this whole thread now. 

Oh yeah....  so sick. Well no USA for me unfortunately. But its been a rough ride..traumatized finding out everything was all lies. Now divorce, the a**hole wont file for divorce ..letting me pay for that too

[AnotherLove 34]

38 minutes ago, B&DT said:

Oh yeah....  so sick. Well no USA for me unfortunately. But its been a rough ride..traumatized finding out everything was all lies. Now divorce, the a**hole wont file for divorce ..letting me pay for that too

your life is just about to start. All the best for you.