Attitude in replies

[Crazy Cat 41,593]

5 minutes ago, powerpuff said:

I’m assuming it’s referring to a separate website created by members here to present that data. 

I remember seeing a couple comments deleted which asked for donations from readers in the linked data site.  I'm not sure if that is the one referenced.  I wasn't aware someone was banned. 

Edited July 22, 2023 by Crazy Cat

[Family 3,988]

18 minutes ago, AndiB said:

The replies I am refering to are not misreading tone, using your imagery does not change things. My culture is very blunt and to the point, I know comments like that can be misread, I'm not mixing them. This is in reference to 100% rude and unhelpful commentary and pile ons. 

 

I hear numerous members with these complaints and see many OPs nope out if a thread or say they're not appreciating rude ess only for the rude person to double down 

 

If mods want to sweep it under rug of 'theyre just busy/blunt' then enjoy losing members you could have kept 

Are you implying mods should censure more….content or ban bad attitude posters ?

[AndiB 677]

3 minutes ago, TBoneTX said:

Same here, but awaiting clarification.

It'll be this. People were (i think rightfully) upset they couldnt share the website or screenshots from it whereas you seemingly can for lawfully 

[AndiB 677]

2 minutes ago, Family said:

Are you implying mods should censure more….content or ban bad attitude posters ?

I would just want people to be more courteous. What mod action, if any is taken is not for me to comment on

[TBoneTX 45,008]

12 minutes ago, Crazy Cat said:

a couple comments deleted which asked for donations from readers in the linked data site

Solicitation is prohibited under the Terms of Service.

10 minutes ago, AndiB said:

It'll be this. People were (i think rightfully) upset they couldnt share the website or screenshots from it

Thank you.  Outside links can't be shared here.  Someone will be along to cite the reasons behind that policy.

 

8 minutes ago, AndiB said:

I would just want people to be more courteous.

Absolutely!

8 minutes ago, AndiB said:

What mod action, if any is taken is not for me to comment on

They pay us Mods the big bucks (= nothing  ) to handle these things.  If something sincerely upsets your sense of decorum, report it.  We're your resource in such instances.

Edited July 22, 2023 by TBoneTX

[Family 3,988]

8 minutes ago, AndiB said:

11 minutes ago, Family said:

Are you implying mods should censure more….content or ban bad attitude posters ?

I would just want people to be more courteous. What mod action

I see. There is only a handful of frequent posters , perhaps you can DM them and point out the needed Attitude Adjustment.

When such comments are made directly in a thread ..mods will usually censure/delete them..so it’s not effective to simply call someone out in a post.

 

[TBoneTX 45,008]

DM may be effective, or it could inflame matters -- usually the latter.

Calling people out in threads definitely pours gasoline on the situation and clouds the discussion.

Your first step should be to report an issue.  Think hard (apply the imagery of above first), then report.

Edited July 22, 2023 by TBoneTX

[AndiB 677]

5 minutes ago, TBoneTX said:

DM may be effective, or it could inflame matters -- usually the latter.

Calling people out in threads definitely pours gasoline on the situation and clouds the discussion.

Your first step should be to report an issue.  Think hard (apply the imagery of above first), then report.

Agreed, wouldn't wanna DM someone who probably doesn't wanna hear it. Reporting seems safest

[TBoneTX 45,008]

8 minutes ago, AndiB said:

Reporting seems safest

You're absolutely right.  If any really recent thread has upset your sense of propriety as we've discussed it, feel free to file a report.  I'm out... uh, er (blush), I need to step away for an hour or so, but I or another member of the Mod team will take a look at it for you.

[Family 3,988]

22 minutes ago, AndiB said:

29 minutes ago, TBoneTX said:

DM may be effective, or it could inflame matters -- usually the latter.

Calling people out in threads definitely pours gasoline on the situation and clouds the discussion.

Your first step should be to report an issue.  Think hard (apply the imagery of above first), then report.

Expand  

Agreed, wouldn't wanna DM someone who probably doesn't wanna hear it. Reporting seems safest

As you wish..though you must realize it invites even more censorship. 

My position on censorship is Musk-ish: none required. 
Nor do I believe any OP needs protecting..even sniper like ( perceived ( negative comments ( bad attitude) actually help one prepare for the unspoken , human -like thoughts . .of immigration officers 😂

Edited July 22, 2023 by Family

[AndiB 677]

3 minutes ago, Family said:

As you wish..though you must realize it invites even more censorship. 

My position on censorship is Musk-ish: none required. 
Nor do I believe any OP needs protecting..even sniper like ( perceived ( negative comments ( bad attitude) actually help one prepare for the unspoken , human -like thoughts . .of immigration officers 😂

Lol asking people to be courteous is not censorship....

[AndiB 677]

Also been though immigration twice now, people don't need to be rude to 'prep you'. That's just an excuse 

[Bh_sarah 942]

If I may add to it all, I think us, newer but not so recent members, definitely are feeling that the attitude in most threads is becoming super negative and a bit condescending.

I understand using the right immigration terms will result in better replies, and that people should do their research before getting into immigration processes, but well, as we all know, many do not. Many also don't speak English fluently. And when they come here asking for help, it seems they are turned down for not using the right word or sometimes being lost in translation, or for thinking something was right when it's actually wrong. Many jump to conclusions when there's not enough details to warrant that. 

Isn't the whole point of the forum to help those that are in the middle of their immigration journey? Some cases are more complex than others, but I would think most here deserve a honest, but polite and complete answer, no matter how silly the question may seem to those more experienced. Replying only "no" to a question (seem this a couple times) will only create more questions to those wanting to understand "why not". I understand replying the same thing over and over is annoying, but while moderators already replied one question thousands of times, the poster probably never asked that question before and never had any answers before. It's also not really a solution to report some answers because it's not like they broke any rules/it would seem the reporter is just picky about how things are worded.

I guess sometimes we all need to step back and see that one day we also found this forum without knowing anything at all about what we were entering in and I am glad most of us did find people that explained things well to us/helped us get through.

And I do think this feeling only grew after the aforementioned website was banned. It is the main source for K1/I-129f filers to be informed about accurate processing times and many members here could benefit from it without leaving VJ (hence why the thread that used to get daily posts every day is now dead). The donation links don't even exist there anymore, but if no outside links can be shared, then this rule should be consistently applied. Recent K1 filers overall are a group that has been overlooked by this forum recently, like we all chose an inferior visa when most of us had our reasons to do it, but that is a subject for another time.

As always, I over-write and repeat myself. But I hope this thread leads to a bit of reflection at how negative some replies can be and how it can turn people down from a once thriving community. I'm out.

Edited July 22, 2023 by Bh_sarah

[Redro 4,611]

If you stick around long enough. You'll see mods do nuke threads where replies have been hostile. And members do get banned or put in a time out  if they are overly rude and unhelpful (Generally if you see "administrative action has been applied"- someone has lost their posting privileges).

Report members you think are being discourteous. 

Report threads where you think the OP is being bullied or there is an unfair pile on. 

Report threads if you think someone has taken it off topic and the OP is no longer being helped. 

The mods might not take immediate action but they do eventually take posts down and take the offender to task. 

One of the VJ rules: 

By way of example, and not as a limitation, you agree that when using the Service, you will not:

"Restrict or inhibit any other user from using and enjoying the Forums."   If you feel like someone is ruining your time on VJ report their post. Write and explanation in the report box.    To add:  If you see someone post lawfully report it. If you see someone post a Facebook page or whatsapp group - report it. The mods are reacting to member reposts. Sometimes they might catch a post that is off topic or rude. But mostly they are reacting to member generated complaints.

Edited July 22, 2023 by Redro

[TBoneTX 45,008]

53 minutes ago, Redro said:

If you see someone post lawfully

Should be unlawfully (condoning or considering doing something illegal)?  Otherwise, great post.

 

By the way, it's unnecessary to report every questionable or disagreeable post in a thread.  Just report one (an early one, preferably) and ask for the thread to be reviewed for Terms of Service and tone.

 

The "tone" guideline is the Terms of Service provision that typically accompanies a violation of the "restrict or inhibit" provision:  "Make comments in a Post either direct or implied toward another member that are purposely designed to upset, antagonize, make fun of, belittle, harass, insult, or otherwise instigate an argument that takes away from the personal enjoyment of the Service by other users."  The "purposely designed" part is important.