Attitude in replies

[AndiB 677]

Not sure where to post as not really K1 specific but this is where I spend most of my time and can't comment on other forum topics but I assume it's common in others too.

I feel like attitude in answers have been getting worse or maybe I just notice it more. People piling on OP for misspeaking, ESL errors, minor mistakes about a process and being stressed/nervous. This is supposed to be somewhere to get support, yes people may need to be corrected or get clarity but surely we can do it without being rude? People are quick to say 'i'm out' and 'your immigration journey is over' or some version of you ###### up so bad which is not helpful and generally hyperbole which does not help.

 

I'm a blunt person but there's being blunt and there's being plain rude. If a post or question annoys you, maybe just move on instead of leaving a rude response or piling on. People come here for help and support and they should feel safe to do so, not get attacked. 

[KellyAust89 9]

I regret signing up with this website, it’s toxic AF. I actively avoid the forums because just seeing OP’s getting dragged over the coals for asking questions is disheartening.

 

There’s far more supportive places in terms of this process, if ya know what I mean 😎

[Kitaly 6]

Just been lurking here and you're totally right.

 

Thanks for speaking up about it ❤️ 

[SneakyPete 75]

This has been my observation as well. Often seems members posts in low to mid thousands cruise into a thread to drop off putting, and to be honest not always accurate response, then cruise out. Seeing same or similar question asked might be jading to some members, but responses giving outright rude responses, or jumping  to assumptions, or subtly putting down people due to cultural or language differences is really off putting behavior. 

 

This is not about people "wanting to hear answers that they want to hear" but basic decency and giving members who ask questions big or small a modicum of charitability and not treating them as either incompetent or fraudsters. 

[TBoneTX 45,591]

Thread is moved from the K-1 Process forum to the Site Discussion forum.

[TBoneTX 45,591]

Everyone reading here is referred to this thread, pinned in the K-1 Process forum and similarly in the CR-1 Process forum:

In addition to the above, bear in mind that the most experienced members are typically participating in a great many threads all across the forums, trying to be concise while openly providing advice gained from personal or forum experience.

 

If a response seems unnecessarily blunt, read it again, picturing a brotherly or sisterly or avuncular arm around your shoulders as the words in the post are spoken.  Doing this can restore the elements of "tone" that are routinely lost when words are merely typed.  If you perceive more helpfulness after reading the post in this way, then you have your answer as to whether the post was well-meant.

 

Everyone is invited to review the site's Terms of Service, found here:

http://www.visajourney.com/content/terms

If a post truly violates a provision, hit the "report post" button at upper right and explain your reasoning.

 

Folks, this legal-immigration process is dysfunctional at best and broken at worst.  The tension and frustration become unbearable, seemingly with no way to fight against it or relieve it.  Please remain unfailingly supportive of each other.  Remember that if you hold one pencil and snap it, it will break; conversely, if you hold a handful of pencils and try to snap them, they'll remain undamaged.  It's best to hang together through this journey.

Remember, too, that those of us who are finished with this infernal process are hoping and praying for your progress almost as intensely as you are.  You're not alone, and you're never forgotten.  Take comfort and find renewed strength in this.

[AndiB 677]

6 minutes ago, TBoneTX said:

Everyone reading here is referred to this thread, pinned in the K-1 Process forum and similarly in the CR-1 Process forum:

In addition to the above, bear in mind that the most experienced members are typically participating in a great many threads all across the forums, trying to be concise while openly providing advice gained from personal or forum experience.

 

If a response seems unnecessarily blunt, read it again, picturing a brotherly or sisterly or avuncular arm around your shoulders as the words in the post are spoken.  Doing this can restore the elements of "tone" that are routinely lost when words are merely typed.  If you perceive more helpfulness after reading the post in this way, then you have your answer as to whether the post was well-meant.

 

Everyone is invited to review the site's Terms of Service, found here:

http://www.visajourney.com/content/terms

If a post truly violates a provision, hit the "report post" button at upper right and explain your reasoning.

 

Folks, this legal-immigration process is dysfunctional at best and broken at worst.  The tension and frustration become unbearable, seemingly with no way to fight against it or relieve it.  Please remain unfailingly supportive of each other.  Remember that if you hold one pencil and snap it, it will break; conversely, if you hold a handful of pencils and try to snap them, they'll remain undamaged.  It's best to hang together through this journey.

Remember, too, that those of us who are finished with this infernal process are hoping and praying for your progress almost as intensely as you are.  You're not alone, and you're never forgotten.  Take comfort and find renewed strength in this.

The replies I am refering to are not misreading tone, using your imagery does not change things. My culture is very blunt and to the point, I know comments like that can be misread, I'm not mixing them. This is in reference to 100% rude and unhelpful commentary and pile ons. 

 

I hear numerous members with these complaints and see many OPs nope out if a thread or say they're not appreciating rude ess only for the rude person to double down 

 

If mods want to sweep it under rug of 'theyre just busy/blunt' then enjoy losing members you could have kept 

[TBoneTX 45,591]

1 minute ago, AndiB said:

100% rude and unhelpful commentary and pile ons

As stated, if input violates the Terms of Service or are noncontributory, hit "report post" and explain your reasoning.  You can report one post and, at the same time, ask for subsequent or surrounding posts to be reviewed.  The Moderation team will then look at the thread.  We're not shy about removing noncontributory posts, but we can't be in every thread all the time.   

[FromMexico W/Love 244]

20 minutes ago, TBoneTX said:

Everyone reading here is referred to this thread, pinned in the K-1 Process forum and similarly in the CR-1 Process forum:

In addition to the above, bear in mind that the most experienced members are typically participating in a great many threads all across the forums, trying to be concise while openly providing advice gained from personal or forum experience.

 

If a response seems unnecessarily blunt, read it again, picturing a brotherly or sisterly or avuncular arm around your shoulders as the words in the post are spoken.  Doing this can restore the elements of "tone" that are routinely lost when words are merely typed.  If you perceive more helpfulness after reading the post in this way, then you have your answer as to whether the post was well-meant.

 

Everyone is invited to review the site's Terms of Service, found here:

http://www.visajourney.com/content/terms

If a post truly violates a provision, hit the "report post" button at upper right and explain your reasoning.

 

Folks, this legal-immigration process is dysfunctional at best and broken at worst.  The tension and frustration become unbearable, seemingly with no way to fight against it or relieve it.  Please remain unfailingly supportive of each other.  Remember that if you hold one pencil and snap it, it will break; conversely, if you hold a handful of pencils and try to snap them, they'll remain undamaged.  It's best to hang together through this journey.

Remember, too, that those of us who are finished with this infernal process are hoping and praying for your progress almost as intensely as you are.  You're not alone, and you're never forgotten.  Take comfort and find renewed strength in this.

 

I know gaslighting when I read it, and girl you are a pro. 

[TBoneTX 45,591]

3 minutes ago, FromMexico W/Love said:

I know gaslighting when I read it, and girl you are a pro. 

Sorry that you feel that way.  Sleep on it, then reread it.  Not a girl, either, last I checked (= just now).  

Edited July 22, 2023 by TBoneTX

[TBoneTX 45,591]

To those who are upset:  Other than reporting what you perceive to be untoward replies, what is your suggested solution or resolution?

[KellyAust89 9]

21 minutes ago, TBoneTX said:

Everyone reading here is referred to this thread, pinned in the K-1 Process forum and similarly in the CR-1 Process forum:

In addition to the above, bear in mind that the most experienced members are typically participating in a great many threads all across the forums, trying to be concise while openly providing advice gained from personal or forum experience.

 

If a response seems unnecessarily blunt, read it again, picturing a brotherly or sisterly or avuncular arm around your shoulders as the words in the post are spoken.  Doing this can restore the elements of "tone" that are routinely lost when words are merely typed.  If you perceive more helpfulness after reading the post in this way, then you have your answer as to whether the post was well-meant.

 

Everyone is invited to review the site's Terms of Service, found here:

http://www.visajourney.com/content/terms

If a post truly violates a provision, hit the "report post" button at upper right and explain your reasoning.

 

Folks, this legal-immigration process is dysfunctional at best and broken at worst.  The tension and frustration become unbearable, seemingly with no way to fight against it or relieve it.  Please remain unfailingly supportive of each other.  Remember that if you hold one pencil and snap it, it will break; conversely, if you hold a handful of pencils and try to snap them, they'll remain undamaged.  It's best to hang together through this journey.

Remember, too, that those of us who are finished with this infernal process are hoping and praying for your progress almost as intensely as you are.  You're not alone, and you're never forgotten.  Take comfort and find renewed strength in this.

So if we all must remain unfailingly supportive of each other, then why do people get banned here for tracking and presenting accurate data and creating effective support systems in regards to this process?

[TBoneTX 45,591]

1 minute ago, KellyAust89 said:

why do people get banned here for tracking and presenting accurate data and creating effective support systems in regards to this process?

Examples, please.

[powerpuff 6,744]

3 minutes ago, KellyAust89 said:

So if we all must remain unfailingly supportive of each other, then why do people get banned here for tracking and presenting accurate data and creating effective support systems in regards to this process?

 

1 minute ago, TBoneTX said:

Examples, please.

I’m assuming it’s referring to a separate website created by members here to present that data. 

[TBoneTX 45,591]

1 minute ago, powerpuff said:

I’m assuming it’s referring to a separate website created by members here to present that data. 

Same here, but awaiting clarification.