interview summary

[doodlebug 3]

I agree that this sort of question should not be asked, but I have heard of it happening in other countries too. Usually countries with strong cultural norms. I think once it happened to someone interviewing in India, a place where sex outside of marriage is still strongly frowned on. So they may ask to find out if the relationship was based on sex or love. But I rarely hear about that question being asked so it might just be a rare occurrence.

Still none of their damn business. Besides, how would they know if you were lying or not?

Exactly my thoughts. I honestly think this guy was just a big jerk and was trying to do anything to get my husband to "crack" under pressure. Luckily this is one of the things we had gone over before hand. I had told him that one guy on here (i forget his name but he recently came here from Cairo and was an opthamologist) blew up at a guy interviewing him in Cairo and as a result his case got delayed a whole year so I told him to suck up any anger and just be calm and answer the questions no matter how much it may anger him. He did just that and hopefully it was the right thing to do. The guy, btw, asked this question in a different manner at first and Usama just ignored it and then he got completely blunt in the question and made it like he HAD to answer no matter what. I guess we won't know if it was ok to answer or not until he gets or does not get the visa.

Again..the anger is due to the fact that the US Gov't is demanding to know something that I think has crossed the line as far as things my gov't needs to know. It's one thing to joke about things willingly but to be forced to answer this stuff in my opinion is over the top. I have decided to let it go until he gets the visa and then I'll file a formal complaint. Hopefully that will help someone in the future.

[PalestineMyHeart 1,897]

Welcome back, Doodle !

I know the question about your sex life was really insulting, but I have heard of COs asking such things at interviews at other consulates. Maybe it's a test to see if the beneficiary gets flustered or upset -- many of the questions in the interviews seem deliberately designed to probe "hot button" topics. A "liar" or "fraud" will often get angry or upset when questioned intensely about details, so this line of questioning can light the fire under them. Or maybe the question is related to the cultural norms of the country, as Stina mentioned.

Anyway, I guess this type of inquiry is not against their rules, as it keeps happening. If I were you, I wouldn't bother writing a complaint letter to anyone -- at best, it will be ignored... and at worst, they might scrutinize your case even more stringently.

The important thing is -- it doesn't look like you were denied insha'allah. So I would advise just gritting your teeth (of course you are always allowed to vent here !) and don't stress yourself any more about the AR. Hope it's over soon so you can start with the next round of tests to your sanity -- acclimating your husband to a new life... and of course AOS !

-MK

[Nasturtium 500]

Hey Doodle! Yeah, those questions suck! They're even more fun at the airport in front of hundreds of other people!

[Caladan 19]

I wonder, based on my really limited knowledge of interview techniques, whether they ask the questions about sex just to see what sort of reaction they get out of the person, and also because once you're rattled it's harder to stick to a script. That is, if your husband has been planning on lying (not saying that he is) or fraudulent and they threw him with a question about sex, it might make his story harder to stick to. Maybe on the assumption that a guy using a woman for a green card wouldn't care about a sex question, but a guy being interrogated about someone he loves and their sex life would react angrily.

Write them a nice calm letter once all this is over inquiring.

[doodlebug 3]

Hey Doodle! Yeah, those questions suck! They're even more fun at the airport in front of hundreds of other people!

OMG I was questioned coming into Boston even! The guy said, where did you originate from and I said Egypt. He asked the nature of my visit and I said to see my husband. He said what is he doing there and I said he lives there. He said what does he do for work and I said he is a salesman. He said what does he sell and I said beauty products to various salons in Cairo.

Then he let me go. It wasn't long but I kept thinking, what does he care what he sells and how would he even know if I was lying through my teeth???

[allousa 1]

When I flew home with my husband in '03, a CIS officer pulled us aside...keep in mind we were LEAVING the country... and wanted to know where we were going, where we were staying and what we were going to be doing. He wanted to know how much money we had on us. We only had $200 because we were going to stay with his parents the whole time. They guy gave us a hard time because he said that there was no way $200 was going to last us for two weeks and accused us of lying. I was like #######!!!! He eventually let us go and board the plane. I couldn't believe it!

[deemabrouk 0]

I'm always grilled.. Rome was the worse.. I'll never fly though there AGAIN!!!!!

[ya falaha! 0]

I was never asked anything out of the ordinary and I've been through Detroit, Chicago, London, Frankfurt and Alexandria. They've only asked the standard...where are you going and where have you come from? If that. Last POE (Chicago) I wasn't asked a single thing. Stamped my passport and sent me through.

[doodlebug 3]

Well he just called me bawling his eyes out.

On top of missing me he is convinced that he was denied because in the waiting room they had a video showing that when people get that paper they are denied. I tried calming him down and stressed that he has to scan it but he said the person who owns the place where he can scan it is away so he's going to show me tonight through the webcam. That sucks 'cause I'll barely be able to see it.

Does anyone have a sample form showing the part checked off stating that they're just in AR/AP so I can show him that to make him feel better? It tried telling him that the guy he had was famous for being a #### and he did laugh a bit over that but he is convinced the guy denied him and has been crying ever since and hasn't been able to sleep. I feel so helpless.

[deemabrouk 0]

mohamed never got a paper...... are you sure its not a 221g whatever ????

[doodlebug 3]

mohamed never got a paper...... are you sure its not a 221g whatever ????

I have no idea what it is since I haven't seen it yet. He never got a paper????

[monnik 0]

mohamed never got a paper...... are you sure its not a 221g whatever ????

I have no idea what it is since I haven't seen it yet. He never got a paper????

The paper is probably because they asked him for 2 more pictures. This form was given to us after our I-130 interview cause we had to send in proof of our relationship. They also gave us this form when we were told we needed a cosponsor. They checked 2 boxes on our paper. One to get a cosponsor, and one to send in the passport with the information. Just ask him which box is checked on the paper. There is a box for administrative processing and one for photos. Good luck.

[doodlebug 3]

mohamed never got a paper...... are you sure its not a 221g whatever ????

I have no idea what it is since I haven't seen it yet. He never got a paper????

The paper is probably because they asked him for 2 more pictures. This form was given to us after our I-130 interview cause we had to send in proof of our relationship. They also gave us this form when we were told we needed a cosponsor. They checked 2 boxes on our paper. One to get a cosponsor, and one to send in the passport with the information. Just ask him which box is checked on the paper. There is a box for administrative processing and one for photos. Good luck.

He said the photo box was checked and the administrative processing box was checked.

I can't take it anymore so I just emailed the embassy and asked them to clarify our situation for him. If they hadn't showed that video in the waiting room stating that when you get this paper you are denied he wouldn't be freaking out but oh well. At least now I'll hopefully get some answer from the horse's mouth that will clear things up for the both of us.

[♥JP♥ 5]

They show a video in the waiting room? Geeez, this embassy sure goes out of its way to try to make people give up! I think it's just a scare tactic. I would have initially freaked out too but the bright side is we have already seen them put everyone else through hell to get a visa (ok so its not a bright side but you get my point) so they are just doing the same to you.

I wouldnt really worry about it, from what I have read this embassy is really behind on their cases or just plain stupid and can't keep up with their workload. I think they asked for more pics so they could stall for more time.

[aminah 6]

Sounds like things went well even though the man asked some very personal questions. Hope your AP is a short one!!

Jen