Cautionary Tale to Those Who's Significant Others Are Out Running Errands for Visa Process

[Jason and May 79]

Hi all, 

 

I thought I'd check in here tonight and perhaps lend a gentle reminder to the relative fallibilities and predatory nature of human behavior. 

 

While running errands today in Manila, preparing for our NVC phase, my wife was robbed. She lost everything: her wedding band, sapphire promise ring, necklace, earrings, watch, power bank, and AirPods. More importantly, because she was getting her NBI Sundry Card and preparing to send off applications for PCCs and CNCs to Jordan, Lebanon, and Qatar, she lost her Barangay clearance, postal ID, CFO, passports, all the information from our I-130 packet, her marriage certificate, and all the money she had pulled out of the bank to transfer fees for the PCCs and CNCs, along with her bank card and our credit cards. 

 

Thankfully she was not hurt, which, frankly, is all I really care about. She was badly shaken, but unhurt. 

 

Because she knew she would be in a high crime, risky area, while on the Jeepney, she apparently took off all her jewelry, including her Apple Watch, and put everything in her bag. But it was a handbag, not a backpack. She probably was targeted after she exited her bank. Because outside the bank, one girl distracted and talked to her while another girl grabbed her bag and ran. With absolutely everything in it. 

 

I feel guilty, because in 3 years, I've almost always told her when she goes out to take someone with her: her sister, her mom, her brother, a friend. And I remind her to use a backpack, not a handbag or shoulder bag. This time, I was too complacent and distracted with work here at home, and I did not. So she left on her own, without me reinforcing "don't go if you can't take someone with you." 

 

I'm not advocating for living in fear. Because I sure don't. When I was extorted by the Metro Police in Cabo, they have guns and could take me to jail. So I negotiated and gave them money. When five guys tried to take my wallet at my favorite mercado and taqueria, I took a bit of a beating, knocked one guy down, and nearly another before they opted for a better day and easier target, I suspect. (Funny story years later. Both those things happened on the same day, within the same hour. I left the metro police at El Centro, went to my favorite store and food truck for a manzanita and some food, and there was more trouble, just waiting for me. Bad day.) But my wife is five foot nothing and 100 pounds sopping wet, extremely introverted, and does not present as a burly, bald, probably ill-tempered, makes-eye-contact, military bearing, middle-aged dude. She's an easy target is my point. 

 

So, for what it's worth, that was her experience today, and she's still shaking and upset, angry, and frustrated.... 

Be safe out there, all. Awareness of surroundings, the right accessories, and a little controlled hyper limbic activity is a good thing. My wife won't change that; her ways are ingrained, but she can be more aware and will probably take someone with her and wear a backpack from now on, leaving her other things at home. That will probably change after today, once we can get her to leave the house again. But that's another, much more private story, I suppose. 

 

Remind your significant others to be safe. 🥲

 

All my best,

 

Jason 🤙🏾

[EatBulaga 315]

On 7/4/2023 at 1:05 PM, Jason and May said:

(Funny story years later. Both those things happened on the same day, within the same hour. I left the metro police at El Centro, went to my favorite store and food truck for a manzanita and some food, and there was more trouble, just waiting for me. Bad day.)

Thanks for sharing. Good advice for your wife to use backpack and to go with someone whenever in the Philippines. Might I also add to wear the backpack in the front and not on the back since I've seen warning videos about how thieves can slit open backpacks from behind to open pouches to remove items.

 

With regards to the "bad day", I've also heard of stories of how the police and street gangs coordinate "attacks" on individuals who they suspect have large sums of money or valuables. For example, if the police tries to extort from someone and don't get all that they want from that someone, then they will signal to the gang to get that someone outside or later. After the gang attack, that someone can't go back to the police or gets no help from the police because they did not pay or pay enough extortion.

 

I also have stories about Philippines customs robbing from luggages at airports or from the postal service. But I don't want to deviate too much  from this post. The best advice I got was to be unassuming so as to not be a target.

[Jason and May 79]

14 hours ago, EatBulaga said:

Thanks for sharing. Good advice for your wife to use backpack and to go with someone whenever in the Philippines. Might I also add to wear the backpack in the front and not on the back since I've seen warning videos about how thieves can slit open backpacks from behind to open pouches to remove items.

 

With regards to the "bad day", I've also heard of stories of how the police and street gangs coordinate "attacks" on individuals who they suspect have large sums of money or valuables. For example, if the police tries to extort from someone and don't get all that they want from that someone, then they will signal to the gang to get that someone outside or later. After the gang attack, that someone can't go back to the police or gets no help from the police because they did not pay or pay enough extortion.

 

I also have stories about Philippines customs robbing from luggages at airports or from the postal service. But I don't want to deviate too much  from this post. The best advice I got was to be unassuming so as to not be a target.

Thank you for your input. I'm glad you read the post and decided to share. 

 

I agree about being unassuming. When I lived in Mexico, I generally wore old shorts, a t-shirt, and flip-flops. Actually, I just basically lived in them. Most comfortable period of my life, I think. But at a certain point, I started working at a psychology clinic, and I needed to dress "respectable," so to speak, when I went to work. And that's the point the metro police messed with me and the attempted robbery happened: business casual work attire.... Ugh. 

To some extent, I get it: socioeconomic distress causes people to do things to survive. But victimhood is also not something I personally accept. When I've traveled, I've given money when I could to folks here and there. I think in very certain cases, it's a decent thing to do. But the dudes drinking in their truck...while probably living in poverty, they were not the elderly woman sitting on the street 5 feet from where she sleeps. There's a difference. Also, my wallet has certain keepsakes in it I'm not willing to lose. On a different day, had I not been contrary to losing more money, I might have taken those things out and handed over my wallet, or even just given them the money. It's easier and less risky. That particular day, I escalated the situation by saying no and some not so nice things. At first, they just wanted money. After I escalated the situation, they wanted my wallet. And to give me a beating for being a contrary gringo. I was in a particularly contrary mood after just handing over $5,000 pesos to two sleazy police officers. Meh. Life. 

I've never worn my backpack to the front, but when I travel I see a lot of people who do. I'm usually fairly hyper alert, though, as well, to my surroundings. It's just my nature. That said, one of these days I probably will take that thing off and find it sliced open and my stuff gone.... 😕 

 

Take care! 🤙🏾

[seekingthetruth 1,246]

On 7/4/2023 at 1:05 PM, Jason and May said:

While running errands today in Manila, preparing for our NVC phase, my wife was robbed

Where was she in Manila?

[Jason and May 79]

4 hours ago, seekingthetruth said:

Where was she in Manila?

Quiapo.

[top_secret 2,417]

Situations like that you just pragmatically resolve and move on. There is little more you can do.☹️

 

One thing I see from time to time that is worth consideration in the Philippines is that someone who grew up and spent their entire life in some small provincial town may have no idea what things are like "in the big city" even in their own country.  Kind of like if someone grew up on a farm in Kansas they might not fare so well in Washington Park Chicago.  The average foreign tourist may be more alert.   There are also those that know very well they could safely walk through even the most dangerous dark alleys but don't realize that is only because they never had anything worth taking from them before and once they do have anything worth taking, their dark alley status would change.

[seekingthetruth 1,246]

12 hours ago, Jason and May said:

Quiapo.

Thanks, good to know.  Now that the Skyway is done, I can avoid most of Manila.  I hate that city.

[Jason and May 79]

19 hours ago, top_secret said:

Situations like that you just pragmatically resolve and move on. There is little more you can do.☹️

 

One thing I see from time to time that is worth consideration in the Philippines is that someone who grew up and spent their entire life in some small provincial town may have no idea what things are like "in the big city" even in their own country.  Kind of like if someone grew up on a farm in Kansas they might not fare so well in Washington Park Chicago.  The average foreign tourist may be more alert.   There are also those that know very well they could safely walk through even the most dangerous dark alleys but don't realize that is only because they never had anything worth taking from them before and once they do have anything worth taking, their dark alley status would change.

I absolutely see what you're saying. 

 

I grew up in a very small town of around 2,500 people. When I was sixteen, my mother took me to Chicago to meet my biological father. He lived on the West Side, down from Mt. Sinai Hospital, and across from Lincoln Park--a Hispanic neighborhood. The only brown person I'd ever seen in my life up to that point was a kid who transferred to our high school for like one semester before vanishing (I think his family moved). I had certainly never heard other languages, talked with people of another ethnicity, or been afraid of a city in general. Like...we roamed the beaches in and around our small towns all hours of night and morning with zero fear. Chicago was terrifying.

 

After joining the Marine Corps and beginning to experience life, someone robbing me or stealing stuff out of my car when parked in broad daylight became realities. 

 

At any rate, in all my travels throughout my life, I'm a bit wiser, I think. My wife, for all the countries she's lived and worked in, and having lived where she has in the PI...I don't know. Part of what I love about her is her innocence, and while equally frustrating and endearing, I love her naiveté. But when she goes out by herself, it worries me. She did grow up in the provinces until she graduated high school, but she has lived off and on in Manila for many, many years. And, yet, she only takes a backpack with her when she goes out if I'm with her and I do or if I remind her to; otherwise, she loves her handbags. Ultimately, that was her downfall this time. Because those girls distracted her, snatched, and ran. And because she was in her own way trying to be cautious by taking off her jewelry to not look like a target, that certainly backfired. Or maybe not. Maybe she would have been held up at knifepoint instead of her bag snatched. Who knows. I'm thankful she's safe. 

 

It's much easier for me to let go than her. I'm generally a pragmatist to begin with; but she's so upset her things were stolen, and she's scared that people will come to her apartment because they have her address now. I think when you're a shy, timid person by nature, the way you perceive trauma versus the way someone else does is of course very different.  

 

At any rate, thank you for your comment. I appreciate you stopping by.