Dating And Finding That Real Relationship

[Rocio0010 5,579]

10 minutes ago, smore said:

stopped looking for a job would I find a job

I get your point and somehow agree to it in the sense that it can be hard to find someone in a not so populated area. 
 

But unless you’re rich, you do need a job to be able to pay for stuff. The question then is “do you NEED to find a SO to be completely happy?”

[smore 19]

59 minutes ago, Lemonslice said:

What about American women marrying foreign men? Is it only because they didn't have the chance to meet you? 

 

Not sure what this comment was asking or referencing. I have no issues with american women finding foreign men, people should be able to seek who they want to, who they are interested in.

[smore 19]

49 minutes ago, Rocio0010 said:

Maybe American women are realizing that they do not need a man to attain happiness; therefore, there is no need to change any attitude.

 

Listen, I’m not “American” myself (yet…) but I think it is very unfair for you to say that decent women are hard to come by. There are tons of them. The thing is,  maybe said women are not actively participating in the dating scene because they’ve finally understood that happiness comes in many ways, not just by being in a relationship. 
 

And yes, I do love my husband to no end. But before I met him, I was happy being single!

If any woman is happy without a man than there is nothing wrong with that, I believe in people being able to be who they are. It might be a bit unfair of me to say decent women are hard to come by however its a general statement and its also an honest statement that decent woman are hard to come by, just like women say decent men are hard to come by. There are probably tons of decent women, tons of decent men, now where does one find those decent ones, that is the question.

 

Everyone is different, and we all should be able to be different. If you were happy being single than that worked for you, others might not like being single. I mean there were times in my life I was ok with being single, was not ready, but to me sharing your life with someone is more fulling.

[Rocio0010 5,579]

8 hours ago, Kawika & Michelle said:

proven time & time again that women in general will always focus on their partners overall financial well-being whereas men are primarily motivated by love

Source?

 

8 hours ago, Kawika & Michelle said:

. I never understand why some folks seem to try to shame women in other countries for them to seek financially secure partners from other countries when women in other countries are looking for the same thing. If

Wait, are we in the 1950s?! I do not see women in “other countries” looking for financially secure partners necessarily. At least not where I come from (Argentina in particular,  but overall South America). In Latinoamérica thank God women are evolving and are beginning to understand that we can also be financially secure without relying on a man. 

 

8 hours ago, Kawika & Michelle said:

she isn't bringing in huge debt or perhaps was in a questionable career path like a stripper or prostitute

If you truly loved the person, would you let debt or those careers get in the way? Strippers and prostitutes can also be good partners. I’m not saying one has to be ok with their partner being a prostitute; but what I’m saying is one has to have an open mind to understand that not everyone has had it easy in life. 

[Rocio0010 5,579]

2 minutes ago, smore said:

There are probably tons of decent women, tons of decent men, now where does one find those decent ones, that is the question.

The question is “what is decent”? Define decent. Everyone has their different parameters for “decency “.

[smore 19]

9 minutes ago, Rocio0010 said:

I get your point and somehow agree to it in the sense that it can be hard to find someone in a not so populated area. 
 

But unless you’re rich, you do need a job to be able to pay for stuff. The question then is “do you NEED to find a SO to be completely happy?”

I can survive without finding a SO, but its not about need, but want. I want to find a SO, I feel life is fuller sharing your life with someone. Until than I will live my life, be as happy as I can be. I enjoyed my past relationships, of course those relationships did not work out, but I can look back and say there were times of enjoyment. And yes being in a not so populated area does make things tough, but I know people in larger cities and its tough also for them as everyone has turned to technology now days, you can be in a big city and its like your in some small town as everyone is just so anti social, head down in their phone. Growing up we went outside with our friends, now you sit and chat online with your friends, even if they just live next door. Sorta sad what our world has turned into, that is why I do value those who are a bit more old school still.

[smore 19]

5 minutes ago, Rocio0010 said:

The question is “what is decent”? Define decent. Everyone has their different parameters for “decency “.

Yes I agree everyone has there parameters for decency so very subjective to try and explain. To me decent is having morals, values, respect, being unselfish, helpful, there for the other person. Seems like simple things but in todays society they are tough to find those simple things.   I do not have this long complicated, involved list for what defines a decent person, its more or less a few simple things but those simple things are core things as well and if the person is shelfish than that can really change the scoop of how things will work out together.

[Jimmyzr1 36]

3 hours ago, smore said:

Most sites are pay, and also now days full of fake profiles or scams and as I have mentioned they are getting worse by the day and I think everyone knows that as well. I am not sure why people have to ruin things for others. Dating sites used to be decent, you could actually message people, they responded and you may or may not connect and go on a date but there was some sort of interaction at least and hope your going to find someone. Now its like ok there are 10 profiles, which one is the real one out of the 10.

 

I will have to check out this Dateinasia, is the site still free? Sounds like perhaps a way to connect with people and it perhaps might lead to a connection for a relationship and meeting? Rather than a strict dating site, more of a common interests type of thing which you form a connection with someone, sounds like how things used to be, you strike up a conversation and before you know it your dating, thats the old school way it used to be.

It should be still free. If you try it, I would suggest you look for ladies to talk with first and if you find a special girl with the personality you like, eventually you could go to meet her. You may either have a few girls at least to meet or if the one you go to meet doesn't work out, then you have to go on your own there. Another avenue, if you're short on time, there is a US based company that has offices in Cebu City and Davao City that set up social events where there are around 10-1 females to men, if that's your thing and you end up with no other options.

[RO_AH 1,659]

4 hours ago, Rocio0010 said:

If you truly loved the person, would you let debt or those careers get in the way? Strippers and prostitutes can also be good partners. I’m not saying one has to be ok with their partner being a prostitute; but what I’m saying is one has to have an open mind to understand that not everyone has had it easy in life. 

Decisions people make in life are a direct reflection of their character. I am sure that if you were honest with yourself, you have many "deal breakers" also. Would you ever have been attracted to a guy that was 4'10" and 250 lbs and served time in prison for molesting children? Maybe his life wasn't easy. We all have our standards and you have no right to suggest that others are wrong for theirs.

[Rocio0010 5,579]

52 minutes ago, RO_AH said:

Would you ever have been attracted to a guy that was 4'10" and 250 lbs and served time in prison for molesting children?

The main difference being that a prostitute or a stripper doesn’t equal molesting a child… so no point to compare imho. 

 

53 minutes ago, RO_AH said:

We all have our standards

True.

 

53 minutes ago, RO_AH said:

suggest that others are wrong for theirs.

As per VJ TOS, I do have a right to debate, as long as I do it respectfully, which I indeed have.

[Lover_Boy 12]

18 hours ago, smore said:

I agree there are certainly many women in USA who are seeking to better there situation and only care about your bank account and what you can do for them, certainly dated that type in my past.

 

I have heard that term "God Fearing Man" and I like that, I like that Philippines want a 'God Fearing Man", I like that a woman is seeking a man who is not some playboy as I am not that type, I am a loyal guy, my faith has brought me up that way to have values and morals. I like that the culture is like back in the 1950s, even know that was long before my time we all have probably heard and learned about those days from our parents, relatives, history, etc and  I wish things were like they were back then. People has morals. That is was really draws me to a Philippines woman is they have those old school morals and values.

Yes that is the way they are raised with old school morals

 

Like my wife is from Middle class family, with 4 sisters and all have  4 year degrees, my wife is Registered Nurse in USA and Philippines, she was 22 year old when I met her 2 years out of college and she was still a virgin.  Pretty common in PHilippines from what I have seen.  

 

I suggest to do you due diligence on Philippine, the culture and society in the Philippines, it will put you with a marked advantage.  Personal suggestion, look for partner that come from good home and educated, dont waste time on partners with : Kids, No education, Come from broken home, or poor.

[Lover_Boy 12]

On 6/19/2023 at 11:55 PM, Boiler said:

1 in 3 in the US, I do not keep count but would expect it is a lot higher than that on VJ. Or perhaps it is just those I notice?

I have about dozen couple that are Fil-Am we associate with, go on trips, etc. None of them married a woman with child.  3 of them the pinay married the man who already had child.

 

In general in Philippines if you have child out of wedlock you are shunned, especially by the men from Philippines.

[Lover_Boy 12]

19 hours ago, smore said:

Thanks for your story. I agree that back in the day these dating sites seemed to work much better, there was just not alot of scammers on them. I just do not recall so much BS and scammers on main stream dating sites and I was actually able to go on dates and meet women who became long term girlfriends. Now days it seems its impossible on any of these sites and I have heard that Filipino Cupid is just like all the sites full of fakes.

 

It does sound like a valid and interesting idea to just go take a vacation there, alone would be difficult, if I had a friend or group of friends to go with, esp other friends who might be single and seeking to date that would help out, sorta having a wing man, and also someone who might know the country, be able to help navigate. Does sound risky, scary, just going there and trying to mingle and find someone, that sorta thing just does not work much anymore here in the USA just meeting someone in the grocery store, now days everyones heads are in technology and some app or site they try and meet on, problem is there are 1000s of sites so who is on what site. But yes it would be amazing to be able to meet someone in person and build that connection. Again would be great to know others who are seeking to do the same thing and get together for a trip to the Philippines.

 

So what is the "Handcuff" thing?

Handcuff at the airport is a term my buddy uses for guys flying to Philippines first time, some will have a chick meet them at the airport and they will not let him go out get out of their sites.  I was taught to fly to about 3 different airports once you arrive and chat/meet a few chicks at each area and then decide what you would like to explore.

 

 

[smore 19]

6 hours ago, Jimmyzr1 said:

It should be still free. If you try it, I would suggest you look for ladies to talk with first and if you find a special girl with the personality you like, eventually you could go to meet her. You may either have a few girls at least to meet or if the one you go to meet doesn't work out, then you have to go on your own there. Another avenue, if you're short on time, there is a US based company that has offices in Cebu City and Davao City that set up social events where there are around 10-1 females to men, if that's your thing and you end up with no other options.

I will have to check out that site soon, being able to message a few women, get to know them, find ones in which you like their personality, develop a friendship with and than hopefully more of a connection with as you get to know each other. It would be nice to have a few to meet in person, I always been the type to only focus on 1 person at a time in the initial stages of getting to know each other and going on a date, but sometimes you talk with someone for a bit, go on a date and you just did not feel that connection, now you have to start all over with another 1 person. Guess I just did that out of respect or something, but not sure why because at that stage your just talking. I think alot of people are talking with several people and perhaps that is the way to go no matter where I am finding people abroad or local or USA. When you find that 1 that you go on a date with you connect with best than you move forward just with that person. So again it would be nice to have a few women to meet if traveling to visit.

 

What company are you talking about where you meet many women at a time, almost like speed dating. Never tried speed dating as where I am located its to small of an area to offer such things. But I have heard of it and really it sounds like its a great idea because you get to mingle with several people and hope for a connection, your odds are just better I would think to find someone. So those social events your talking about in the Philippines sound like an interesting idea. But are the women at those genuine or does it feel like some marriage setup deal, marriage broker I think is there term or something like that? And with limited time it sounds like a good option, but the only downfall is you don't get to build some connection before going there and meeting like you would with meeting them online, messaging for a bit.

 

I have always been the focus on 1 but it would be nice to go on a few dates during my time there. Unless I develop this amazing connection with just 1 via messaging, but still just as I have done in the past I may lock myself into them and than when meeting if that connection is there now I have no other options. Here is the USA it was not such a big deal, you just move forward trying to meet someone and go on another date, but traveling so far and for things not to work out and having no other options would be wasteful.

[Crazy Cat 41,610]

***Moved to Off Topic discussion area****

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Edited June 21, 2023 by Crazy Cat