Dating And Finding That Real Relationship

[smore 19]

8 hours ago, Lover_Boy said:

What I figured out is American Men are considered "Exotic" in Asia, all of Asia.

 

You don't see many American in Philippines, most foreigners are from China or Korea. 

 

Here I come walking into a place being 6'2", long nose, green eyes and a macho body and I stun the locals, considering the average male in Philippines is about 5'4" and weighs about 130 lbs.

That is what I have heard also that american men are considered exotic and they are attracted to american men. I have heard this about a few other countries as well that they really like american men. Yes many are seeking american men to better there situation as well, scam them, etc. But some are genuine and are attracted to american me. Just like me I guess I find myself attracted to asian women.

[smore 19]

8 hours ago, SalishSea said:

Right.  That may or may not be congruent with true love, which is what it sounds like the OP is looking for.

I certainly am seeking true love. Seems very difficult to find no matter where you look. There are certainly women in the USA who are also looking to better there situation, and I am sure all over the world. I would like to find genuine love.

[smore 19]

8 hours ago, Lover_Boy said:

I only have extensive dating experience in the USA and Philippines

 

It seem as if in USA partners are looking for someone who makes bank

 

In Philippines most woman only want a 'God Fearing Man", who doesn't smoke, drink or gamble and isn't a playboy (Guy who has alot of side chicks). Money doesn't seem to be that important, they are more about "True Love".  Got to remember in PHilippines the culture and morals are more like in the 1950 in the USA.  

I agree there are certainly many women in USA who are seeking to better there situation and only care about your bank account and what you can do for them, certainly dated that type in my past.

 

I have heard that term "God Fearing Man" and I like that, I like that Philippines want a 'God Fearing Man", I like that a woman is seeking a man who is not some playboy as I am not that type, I am a loyal guy, my faith has brought me up that way to have values and morals. I like that the culture is like back in the 1950s, even know that was long before my time we all have probably heard and learned about those days from our parents, relatives, history, etc and  I wish things were like they were back then. People has morals. That is was really draws me to a Philippines woman is they have those old school morals and values.

[smore 19]

8 hours ago, Lover_Boy said:

I love that term, I saw it thrown around for 6 months on Youtube from expats living in Philippine, I just found out exactly what it is recently.  

 

 

 

 

So what is "Passport Bros"

[smore 19]

6 hours ago, RO_AH said:

Maybe preference? I have always preferred Asian women, is there something wrong with having a preference?

I agree about preference, perhaps many just like american guys, but yes there are always going to be those seeking for the wrong reasons, we certainly have many women here in america seeking guys for the wrong reasons. I find myself also having a preference for Asian women and certainly nothing wrong with having a preference.

[smore 19]

6 hours ago, RO_AH said:

Unless you are willing to travel, long distance is not for you. If you don't have time to learn the culture in a foreign country, a foreign spouse is not for you. I am living my best life, married to a Pinay for 6 years, started our relationship 12 years ago, 2 children, and happy as can be. I was willing to do the 2 things above.

Travel I could do occasionally or a few times, the whole point is to meet and connect with someone and not have to travel and start a process to actually being together. Of course some talking before hand for it to be worth traveling, some sorta connection has to be there before jaunting off to meet them. None of this is ideal, ideal would be to meet someone closer to home so you can not only talk but also meet and meet more often, you know your typical relationship where you can plan dates, but you talk on the phone during the week or something. This long distance thing does sound difficult, than the process of waiting for some government to ok your relationship so you can actually be together. Seems sorta like a dictatorship to me having to wait for some government to process papers so you can be together, and its up to them to tell you whether they are going to or not. If I find love with someone in a foreign country wouldn't it be nice to move forward at the pace I want to just like one would with a relationship in the usa, when its time to move forward no one is stopping you from moving in, marriage, etc.

[smore 19]

4 hours ago, Lemonslice said:

A larger city a few hours over, accessible by car, is still much easier than being unable to meet at all for months at a time.

 

Many cities have Asian cultural center/community resources, you could look up what's coming up next in larger cities nearby.  We love going to the activities in my town, for the Lunar New Year,  then the street food fest is coming up...  that's closer in time, and space, to meet potential partners. 

 

Looking at your last post, your long distance affair sounded more stressful than fun. Dating shouldn't be this painful. Take care, and good luck.

Good idea you have as there are larger cities to drive to. Just not sure I could interject myself into any of the asian cultural things for short periods of time, maybe I could like attending an event or something. Its a good idea and something I should look into what the larger cities have for any type of events, just not sure what the chances are of finding someone at those events would be, but one never knows, it might be worth a chance. Much easier than long overseas distance with visa processes. Yes my last attempt at long distance was full of road blocks and a bit painful, many factors did not help including covid and technology availability.

[smore 19]

3 hours ago, Lover_Boy said:

Philippines love America,  This goes back to Douglas MacArthur liberating the Philippines when they were attacked on Dec 8th the day after Pearl Harbor and Philippines was under US Control, just like Hawaii.  Japan invaded and took over Philippines and was very brutal to the Citizens and Philippines is also the largest US Surrender to date by the US Military.   MacArthur finally returned and liberated the Philippines which makes him a National Hero just like on he scale we pay tribute to  George Washington in USA.  Almost every large city in Philippines had a MacArthur HIghway.

 

English is the business language in Philippines and everything is in English all street signs all business documents, etc.  You see everyone in Philippines wearing Tshirts with US flag on it or Dickeys T-Shirts.  You get treated very well in Phiilippines if you are an American, period male or female.  I will from time to time and it's kinda rare to see like a US mother and daughter in Philippines like at a spa or parlor and you will see them being asked to take a pictures with the locals.

 

Me myself in the province it is common for a local to want to take a picture with me, it just comes with the territory of being an American, It really makes you appreciate and realize how lucky you are to be born in the USA.

 

 

Would certainly be nice to be appreciated like that just for being american, being able to walk around and people admire you, want to talk with you, come up to you, that would be a good feeling. Versus here in the USA no one cares who you are and they are rude.

[Boiler 45,318]

VJ has trusted partners for Immigration help but not for that first stage of finding someone to sponsor.

 

Always thought this was a missed opportunity.

[EatBulaga 314]

2 hours ago, smore said:

So what is "Passport Bros"

Search the term "Passport Bros" on YouTube or TikTok. It's really nothing new that American men are going abroad to seek spouses/fiancés, but what is trending is that American women getting pissed at the guys doing that.

 

My own VJ research reveals that the ratio of US males filing for foreign spouses/fiancés to US females filing for foreign spouses/fiancés is about 4 to 1.

https://www.visajourney.com/forums/topic/796552-passport-bros/

 

My first advice about going the Passport Bros route is don't take it for granted and don't abuse your position of power in the foreign dating market. If you are scared of being scammed, being taken advantaged of, etc., think of it from the foreign women point of view: are the foreign women more likely to be taken advantaged of by the American men than the vice versa? Think about human trafficking, think of the average guy who all of sudden have a windfall of abundant 3rd world women who think he is "exotic", etc.

 

Dating/mating has inherent risks (i.e. divorce rate). Your best safeguard is to invest the time into knowing your mate. If you meet someone online and both are interested, definitely make a trip to visit. If you don't have the time, then you are prioritizing other things with your time than choosing a mate.

 

Since @smore posted in the Philippines forum, then you are probably aware of the Filipino OFW (Overseas Foreign Worker) program. If not, look it up and compare your "don't have time" or other work/dating complaints compared to the Filipino OFWs'. From my experience, no matter how hard or abused worklife the OFWs have, they are grateful for the opportunity to work compared to the limited opportunity in their homeland.

 

So my last advice is to be grateful that you have an American passport, as opposed to not having it and wishing for a visa journey to get the US passport.

Edited June 20, 2023 by EatBulaga

[Crazy Cat 41,610]

15 minutes ago, Boiler said:

VJ has trusted partners for Immigration help but not for that first stage of finding someone to sponsor.

 

Always thought this was a missed opportunity.

EHarmony brought my wife and me together...😃

[Kawika & Michelle 108]

I think it's been proven time & time again that women in general will always focus on their partners overall financial well-being whereas men are primarily motivated by love. It doesn't necessarily mean that all women are gold diggers per say...but it does speak to the importance that financial security means to a woman. I never understand why some folks seem to try to shame women in other countries for them to seek financially secure partners from other countries when women in other countries are looking for the same thing. If America was full of poor men & foreign men who were more financially secure had an interest in American women...we would be seeing the same situation happening in our country. You can't blame them for looking outside of their country if what they want is not as easily found in their home country. Men on the other hand rarely consider a woman's career or financial situation other than making sure she isn't bringing in huge debt or perhaps was in a questionable career path like a stripper or prostitute. At least for me...I really couldn't care less what career path my partner was in or if she just wanted to be a stay at home mom. I was more interested in whether she was a Christian, was she attractive to me, was she a good person, did she have a fun personality, did she have good morals & values, did I enjoy her company, could I make her happy, etc. 

 

As a man, when I found myself divorced and back on the market 4 years ago...I spent a good year healing by going to church, attending DivorceCare & other relationship related activities. I didn't necessarily feel like I needed it...but I also wanted to be sure that I took the time to heal so that I wouldn't bring any unnecessary baggage into any future relationship. I took the time to reflect on myself & more importantly define what it was that I was looking for in a partner. Identifying the things that I was no longer willing to compromise on in a future partner. As a Christian, I joined several of the single Christian groups at a few of our local churches & took part in their activities to get an idea of what was out there in my local area. During my initial search, I had not even considered looking outside of the country or even outside of my local area (except for perhaps back in my home state) for a partner. I personally met a lot of nice women & had expressed interest in a few of them which didn't pan out. In my past I was normally the kind of guy who found what he wanted & would pursue her but this time around I wanted to give God a say in things. So instead of pursuing women like I did in the past, I decided to simply express my genuine interest in a woman when I happened to find someone that I felt might be a good match...and if she didn't reciprocate interest, I would just accept that God had someone else for me & move on. I think I expressed interest in 2-3 women at that time...but none of them were interested. I also had a few women express their interest in me, but for whatever reason I wasn't interested in them.

 

At that point I expanded my search to the online dating world. It doesn't take long to realize that the majority of the dating profiles you'll find online are filled with fake scammers looking to take advantage of lonely people. You will also quickly realize that in the online space is primarily made up of people who are simply looking to hook up which wasn't something I was interested in at all. When you do happen to connect with other genuine people online...I think what you do quickly find is that there are a lot of broken people out there that haven't taken the time to heal from their past relationships. My first contact with a foreign woman (not scam related) was actually with a woman from the Philippines. We happened to connect on OKCupid. Up until that point, I hadn't really even given thought of looking outside of the US. I was also not fully versed with the Philippines culture or the challenges that the majority of the people face there...especially a woman who was in the province & didn't have regular access to a phone, internet, electricity, etc. At the time, it just sounded like yet another scam being played. While I was getting to know her, I decided to take the time to do watch some YouTube videos on the Philippines and Filipina women in general. This was roughly in 2019/2020 when most of the now prevalent YouTube channels on Filipinas didn't exist. But there was enough out there to peak my interest.

 

If you are dead set on finding someone in another country...then I would make plans to travel to that country for at least a week at some point in the future. Once you choose your destination...start taking time to learn more about the women there & their culture. About a month prior to your trip, start making contacts with women there via dating sights or even Facebook groups so that you have a few options when you get there. I didn't do this...but it has been suggested before to have 2-3 women there that you are interested in & date both of them while you are there to see if you have a genuine connection with any of them. If you don't, don't be afraid to just go to your local mall and simply walk around. I traveled to the Philippines...and to be honest...there were beautiful women everywhere. They aren't all physically beautiful of course...but there were a good amount of them. They may not all be interested in you...but I am sure that you can get at least a few dates if you put yourself out there.

 

In the end...you pretty much just have to be honest with yourself & figure out what it is that you are looking for. Are you just looking to date? Are you looking for a wife? Once you figure that out...then the rest just sort of falls into place...

[Crazy Cat 41,610]

55 minutes ago, Kawika & Michelle said:

I think it's been proven time & time again that women in general will always focus on their partners overall financial well-being whereas men are primarily motivated by love.

I have never heard that....Love or lust??

Edited June 20, 2023 by Crazy Cat

[Kawika & Michelle 108]

1 hour ago, Crazy Cat said:

I have never heard that....Love or lust??

If a man is only motivated by lust...then in today's world...there are zero benefits to a man getting married or seeking out any kind of binding relationship. Typically a man's sexual market value will only continue to increases as he ages while a woman's hits its peak in their 30s and rapidly declines thereafter. The only reason a man who is driven by lust would seek marriage is for the raising of children. Beyond that...men driven by lust are far better off simply bouncing from relationship to relationship continuing to upgrade his partner while not being financially tied to any of them.

[Jimmyzr1 36]

7 hours ago, smore said:

Yes I agree the women on those dating sites which are specific to women seeking american men I certainly wonder about that, and have not been apart of any of those dating sites. I have been on a few big name dating sites, some for some reason do not even list Philippines as an option, or some had it listed but took it away, not sure why, is there that much fraud there? I am just seeking someone real and genuine about a relationship and no matter where they are from, or what nationality, it seems impossible on dating sites as they are all full of fake profiles.

I met my wife on Dateinasia 5 years ago, went to visit her and travel around the Philippines for 30 days. I was already planning on moving there in 2-3 months though. 

When I had met her online, I really noticed the personality connection. She was actually in the process of becoming an OFW, like her sister had done. I just asked her to wait for me to come visit her first, which she did.

I ended up moving to the Philippines, 2.5 months later, rented a house for 3 months in her town, and then travelled with her to Cebu and decided to move there. Went back to her town, just out of Manila, picked up her son to move to Cebu City. We lived there for about 2 years. Then I decided I needed to get back to the US for medical reasons, also there were too many distractions living in the Philippines for me.

Less than a year later, I asked her to marry me. We got married online1.5 years ago and am now at the NVC stage waiting for DQ and an interview. It really helped me coming back to the US, realizing what I had found in her. She was so easy to live with, we have great memories together and our personalities just work. I had made mistakes in past relationships, but definitely knew what type of person I was looking for in her. Her personality is so fun to enjoy life with! 

I had been previously married to a different Filipina, I met on Cherry Blossoms before, that I brought to the US on a fiancé Visa, but was definitely a mistake not really getting to know her first.

Dateinasia was actually a free site for both men and women alike, if interested.