Dating And Finding That Real Relationship

[Lover_Boy 12]

3 minutes ago, SalishSea said:

I'm sure the typical US salaries don't hurt, either 😉

I only have extensive dating experience in the USA and Philippines

 

It seem as if in USA partners are looking for someone who makes bank

 

In Philippines most woman only want a 'God Fearing Man", who doesn't smoke, drink or gamble and isn't a playboy (Guy who has alot of side chicks). Money doesn't seem to be that important, they are more about "True Love".  Got to remember in PHilippines the culture and morals are more like in the 1950 in the USA.  

[Boiler 45,318]

2 minutes ago, Lover_Boy said:

I only have extensive dating experience in the USA and Philippines

 

It seem as if in USA partners are looking for someone who makes bank

 

In Philippines most woman only want a 'God Fearing Man", who doesn't smoke, drink or gamble and isn't a playboy (Guy who has alot of side chicks). Money doesn't seem to be that important, they are more about "True Love".  Got to remember in PHilippines the culture and morals are more like in the 1950 in the USA.  

The typical case on here is a single mother with children. Not very 1950.

[Lover_Boy 12]

1 hour ago, Boiler said:

You seem to be talking about Passport Bros?

I love that term, I saw it thrown around for 6 months on Youtube from expats living in Philippine, I just found out exactly what it is recently.  

 

 

 

 

[Lover_Boy 12]

Just now, Boiler said:

The typical case on here is a single mother with children. Not very 1950.

Abortion is illegal, and getting birth control is and was discouraged if a unmarried female went to doctor to get like a depo shot.

 

There is no such thing as child support in Philippines.  USA has many more singles mothers than the Philippines by population, You didn't know that?

 

 

[Boiler 45,318]

3 minutes ago, Lover_Boy said:

Abortion is illegal, and getting birth control is and was discouraged if a unmarried female went to doctor to get like a depo shot.

 

There is no such thing as child support in Philippines.  USA has many more singles mothers than the Philippines by population, You didn't know that?

 

 

1 in 3 in the US, I do not keep count but would expect it is a lot higher than that on VJ. Or perhaps it is just those I notice?

[RO_AH 1,659]

3 hours ago, SalishSea said:

If women from these countries are specifically seeking American men, you might ask yourself why. 

Maybe preference? I have always preferred Asian women, is there something wrong with having a preference?

[RO_AH 1,659]

Unless you are willing to travel, long distance is not for you. If you don't have time to learn the culture in a foreign country, a foreign spouse is not for you. I am living my best life, married to a Pinay for 6 years, started our relationship 12 years ago, 2 children, and happy as can be. I was willing to do the 2 things above.

[Lemonslice 4,798]

6 hours ago, smore said:

Thanks for your advise. I agree local groups, churches, issue is I am from smaller community and not much going on around here and not many candidates for dating either, if in a larger area it would be much easier. You hear of people finding each other from a distance, not even international, but just around the united states and they come together. I have always wondered how did they find one another and how did they get together being from so far away, at least with dating around the USA there is no process like the visa process, you can meet and be together when ever you decide its the right time. I do find myself liking the asian culture, that old schoolness that is non existent in the usa now days, morals, values, faith. I also find asian women very beautiful as they have a natural beauty about them.

 

But yes with not much time to travel international relationship would be tough, yes I would make time to chat, message, talk, etc and of course the idea is to meet and come together and not have things drag out years and years because non of us no how long life will be so if you connect with someone you want to start enjoying life together with them.

 

Yes I agree referrals from strangers maybe not a good idea, but who knows, they might know someone and they just put the two of you together and you talk and connect, but its a long shot. Seems these dating sites are not safe either, its worse than a referral from a stranger.

 

When did trying to meet someone become so difficult and so full of fakeness, scams, etc and it just gets worse and worse, what a wonderful society we live in.

A larger city a few hours over, accessible by car, is still much easier than being unable to meet at all for months at a time.

 

Many cities have Asian cultural center/community resources, you could look up what's coming up next in larger cities nearby.  We love going to the activities in my town, for the Lunar New Year,  then the street food fest is coming up...  that's closer in time, and space, to meet potential partners. 

 

Looking at your last post, your long distance affair sounded more stressful than fun. Dating shouldn't be this painful. Take care, and good luck.

[Lemonslice 4,798]

2 hours ago, RO_AH said:

Unless you are willing to travel, long distance is not for you. If you don't have time to learn the culture in a foreign country, a foreign spouse is not for you. I am living my best life, married to a Pinay for 6 years, started our relationship 12 years ago, 2 children, and happy as can be. I was willing to do the 2 things above.

Time and money to travel, to learn... Yes, that's essential.  Otherwise, I'm not saying love can't exist, but it's more of an epistolary/virtual relationship.  

[Lover_Boy 12]

6 hours ago, SalishSea said:

If women from these countries are specifically seeking American men, you might ask yourself why. 

Philippines love America,  This goes back to Douglas MacArthur liberating the Philippines when they were attacked on Dec 8th the day after Pearl Harbor and Philippines was under US Control, just like Hawaii.  Japan invaded and took over Philippines and was very brutal to the Citizens and Philippines is also the largest US Surrender to date by the US Military.   MacArthur finally returned and liberated the Philippines which makes him a National Hero just like on he scale we pay tribute to  George Washington in USA.  Almost every large city in Philippines had a MacArthur HIghway.

 

English is the business language in Philippines and everything is in English all street signs all business documents, etc.  You see everyone in Philippines wearing Tshirts with US flag on it or Dickeys T-Shirts.  You get treated very well in Phiilippines if you are an American, period male or female.  I will from time to time and it's kinda rare to see like a US mother and daughter in Philippines like at a spa or parlor and you will see them being asked to take a pictures with the locals.

 

Me myself in the province it is common for a local to want to take a picture with me, it just comes with the territory of being an American, It really makes you appreciate and realize how lucky you are to be born in the USA.

 

 

[Lover_Boy 12]

5 hours ago, Boiler said:

The typical case on here is a single mother with children. Not very 1950.

1950 also is in Philippines with traditional roles in marriage, In Philippines my wife father was the worker and bread winner and his wife was the housewife, I would consider their economic bracket to be middle toward upper middle class her father has and Electrical Engineering degree and works for US based hydro electrical company and lives in fairly nice home

 

For example my wife each morning cooks me breakfast, lays out my clothes to wear for the day, I asked her why she does this she said because it is what her mother did and she learned this that way.  Me and my wife have 1950 values, I am head of household and the provider, my wife is Registered Nurse in both Philippines and in the state we live in, She did work a few months at a local hospital but I found it to be better deal for her to stay home and be a housewife and if I need some help with my business she can do some projects.   I believe she enjoys this much more than having to work, like right now my wife is in the Philippines visiting her family so she has the freedom to travel at will.

[Crazy Cat 41,610]

9 hours ago, smore said:

Here I am in a world full of fakes, scams, BS. I have had my share of american women relationships but they all turn out to be toxic, issues, problems, selfish with no values or morals. Wouldn't it be wonderful to find happiness, find love. Joining dating sites seems to be a joke, a scam, and full of fake profiles and its getting worse every day.

 

How does one go about finding a TRUE relationship? Not some online chat buddy, but someone you can connect with, plan to meet, and than start the process to be together.

 

How did many of you find your love? Your girlfriend, your wife?

 

Dating sites in general all seem to be a scam with so many fake profiles now days, and specific Philippines, Filipino or Asian dating sites seem to be everywhere now days, but seem very fake, sketchy and a scam. Not sure why so many fakes and scams and its getting worse and worse, what a wonderful world we live in where we just keep trying to screw each other over.

 

So any advise on where to find a TRUE relationship? Keep in mind I am in my 40s, I work, I have responsibilities so I cannot just go vacationing for weeks at a time and gallivanting around the world to find someone. And I am not lurking around on social media responding to random women like I have heard some guys do hoping to win the lottery and she is single and into you. But I will/would/could make the time getting to know someone as we do in the technical age now by messages, chatting, etc until comfortable to plan to meet.

 

To bad the old school method does not work, hey I know a friend, my wife has a sister, a friend, etc, but maybe thats not such an impossible idea. So maybe you or your girlfriend, wife, knows someone who is seeking a great relationship?

 

Please this is a serious topic, please no BS, rude posts.

Palawan......I knew it.

[smore 19]

9 hours ago, SalishSea said:

Why not look locally?  Really boggles the mind how many people seem to actively search for foreign spouses, even with as expensive and fraught with delays and huge wait times immigration is.....

Where I am at there are not many people, not great options to meet, I am not in a big city. Yes finding someone local or closer or even in USA would be ideal but with having horrible past relationships full of selfishness, issues, lack of respect, etc, etc, etc I wanted to find a culture like the Philippines where things are a bit old school, and there are still beliefs, values, faith, morals. But yes the time in waiting, the expense so its certainly not ideal. If I could find a woman here with those old school mentality, or perhaps a Filipino or Asian woman here in the USA already who has not been ruined by western way of life yet, that would be ideal.

[smore 19]

9 hours ago, SalishSea said:

If women from these countries are specifically seeking American men, you might ask yourself why. 

Yes I agree the women on those dating sites which are specific to women seeking american men I certainly wonder about that, and have not been apart of any of those dating sites. I have been on a few big name dating sites, some for some reason do not even list Philippines as an option, or some had it listed but took it away, not sure why, is there that much fraud there? I am just seeking someone real and genuine about a relationship and no matter where they are from, or what nationality, it seems impossible on dating sites as they are all full of fake profiles.

[smore 19]

8 hours ago, Lover_Boy said:

My first trip I went over there with a relative to see a house he was having built, I didn't know jack about the Philippines.  I meet alot of girls in person, never did the internet dating stuff and this was 15 years ago.

 

I got a pretty good feel for the culture, and on my next trip I went solo and got on dating site called Filipino Cupid if I remember correct.  I chatted with many girls, back then there were not that many scammers on there, Now of day I have no clue what is on the Asian Dating site.

 

But I met about 15 girls in person that I was interested in from all my chats over a couple of trips back then, probably chatted with close to 100 girls, for me  I met lots of gf and my wife. 

 

I still have one girls that I dated and was serious with from 10 years ago that I still court and date when I return to the Philippines.

 

Bottom line I would just fly to Philippines or Columbia and get there and then start looking for connections, Don't be one of those guys who chat with a girl for few months and you fly all the way to Philippines only to have her meet you at the airport and "Handcuff" you.  

 

Get to understand the culture in Philippines you will be ahead of the game.

Thanks for your story. I agree that back in the day these dating sites seemed to work much better, there was just not alot of scammers on them. I just do not recall so much BS and scammers on main stream dating sites and I was actually able to go on dates and meet women who became long term girlfriends. Now days it seems its impossible on any of these sites and I have heard that Filipino Cupid is just like all the sites full of fakes.

 

It does sound like a valid and interesting idea to just go take a vacation there, alone would be difficult, if I had a friend or group of friends to go with, esp other friends who might be single and seeking to date that would help out, sorta having a wing man, and also someone who might know the country, be able to help navigate. Does sound risky, scary, just going there and trying to mingle and find someone, that sorta thing just does not work much anymore here in the USA just meeting someone in the grocery store, now days everyones heads are in technology and some app or site they try and meet on, problem is there are 1000s of sites so who is on what site. But yes it would be amazing to be able to meet someone in person and build that connection. Again would be great to know others who are seeking to do the same thing and get together for a trip to the Philippines.

 

So what is the "Handcuff" thing?