Spouse cannot remember information about ex-wife

[Janelle K 3]

So we are prepping our application for my husband's immigrant visa, and we came across the section about his previous marriage. I managed to find his ex's information online to provide her birthdate, but he cannot for the life of him remember their wedding anniversary. How critical is that information to have? Will our visa application get declined if we don't include his original marriage date?

[Crazy Cat 41,814]

"Unknown" is an acceptable answer on immigration forms. 

[Janelle K 3]

3 minutes ago, Crazy Cat said:

"Unknown" is an acceptable answer on immigration forms. 

I looked at the form, and because it's online, "unknown" isn't an option. There's a space to type in a date, and that's it. 

[Crazy Cat 41,814]

Just now, Janelle K said:

I looked at the form, and because it's online, "unknown" isn't an option. There's a space to type in a date, and that's it. 

Then enter an approximate date.  

[Dashinka 24,483]

So you will need to have the divorce documents at some point.  Are these easy to get?  They should have all the information you need.

[Janelle K 3]

5 minutes ago, Dashinka said:

So you will need to have the divorce documents at some point.  Are these easy to get?  They should have all the information you need.

Yes I have his divorce decree and the case file for it. But the immigrant visa application requested their original marriage date and her birthdate. I managed to find her birthdate on a background check, but their marriage date isn't listed. And unfortunately he previously married in California and it was during the time that there are still no online marriage records. I'd have to request it in writing (minimum 3 week processing), and they require the date on that application to get the document. So I'm not sure what to do other than hire a lawyer to subpoena it. Which will cause a significant delay in our application process. 

[Boiler 45,451]

It does seem odd that they would expect men to remember this.

 

Could he ask his Mother or somebody?

[TBoneTX 45,260]

3 minutes ago, Boiler said:

Could he ask his Mother or somebody?

Yes -- ask a relative.  If he remembers the court or venue where the marriage took place, it may have internal records.

[Mike E 11,739]

1 hour ago, Janelle K said:

Yes I have his divorce decree and the case file for it

It is surprising a case file for a divorce lacks the date of marriage, since the date of marriage is factor in determining:

 

* alimony
* the  basis for assets brought into the marriage

[Dashinka 24,483]

33 minutes ago, Mike E said:

It is surprising a case file for a divorce lacks the date of marriage, since the date of marriage is factor in determining:

 

* alimony
* the  basis for assets brought into the marriage

I agree, it seems strange.

[Janelle K 3]

I read through the divorce settlement multiple times. There were a handful of dates on it, all within a few months of each other. Surprisingly the start date of the marriage was NOT a date listed on his divorce paperwork. There was no alimony, and they had no assets other than her vehicle. No alimony - no assets to split. She kept what little they had and he left the country to go back to the UK. 

 

As for asking his family - we asked his cousin, and she tried to get his parents involved. He's estranged from them and does not wish for them to be involved in his life anymore, so he is not willing to contact them. I'm hoping we don't need the EXACT date of when the marriage begun, considering we have the legal proof that it ended. 

[Family 3,988]

O,You do NOT need exact date.

Simply ask your husband to recall the number of years he was married and work backwards from date of divorce.

A good rule of thumb is to use 01/01/year for any date one is guesstimating .

[pushbrk 12,870]

51 minutes ago, Family said:

O,You do NOT need exact date.

Simply ask your husband to recall the number of years he was married and work backwards from date of divorce.

A good rule of thumb is to use 01/01/year for any date one is guesstimating .

Estimates are fine.  My advice is if you know the year, you probably know the season.  Sometimes the best you can do is remember, Spring of 19xx.  If so, April 15, 19xx is what I would "guesstimate".  Both methods are fine.

 

[Janelle K 3]

Thank you for the help, everyone 

[Scandi 4,166]

My husband didn't remember the wedding date either, and the divorce decree did not have the marriage date on it, only divorce date. So we just did a guesstimate (went back and looked at the old check books to see payments for venue etc), and it was never an issue, and nobody ever asked anything about his previous marriage either. His previous marriage was brief and ended many years before we even met - maybe it would be more of an issue if they somehow thought the marriages "overlapped" (it wasn't anywhere near overlapping in our case). 

Edited June 20, 2023 by Scandi