Let Sleeping Dogs Rant

[Ontarkie 14,214]

Ok long overdue chicken report has been requested

 

We have just over 20 chickens. I lost count so who really knows. 

 

Daughter has a breeding project of her Polish chickens. They are the more hard to find Tolbunt pattern. She has been incubating eggs and hatching them like crazy. They are selling like hotcakes. As soon as they hatch they are gone and the next batch of eggs goes in the incubator. 

 

 

Ok enough of eggs and chickens now. 

 

The Hillbilly is smoking ribs for supper. 

 

I need to fold laundry. 

 

I am waiting on the Hillbilly to dig holes in the ground to move the fence. We are moving it up. That new space is going to be for the tortoise yard for Optimus Prime. He is pushing 4lbs already and 8 1/2 inches long. Shell length only and a eating machine. 

 

 

I have to get a few more things done today like get the grass cut. I'm trying to make sure everything is done before I get my tonsils out on Thursday. Eating is hard and it is now really messing with my breathing. Ok I'm off to clean the house

[Ontarkie 14,214]

Added the ramp today to one of the doors.

 

[Neonred 3,562]

1 hour ago, Ontarkie said:

Added the ramp today to one of the doors.

 

I'm sure it's easier than climbing stairs.

[Ontarkie 14,214]

23 minutes ago, Neonred said:

I'm sure it's easier than climbing stairs.

I would think so. I have seen a huge one climb stairs.

Mine are too small for that though. I'll try to make the other doors' ramp tomorrow. 

[Allaboutwaiting 2,503]

Some eons ago, in what seems now as another life, I lived on my own in a small apartment.

 

One day, a humongous cockroach entered my place. Fortunately I was prepared, so I calmly walked to get the spray that would end its life while the unsuspecting bug awaited for its demise.

 

Once I fetched the deadly liquid, I sneakily approached from the back, firmly holding the container while staring at the being, when unexpectedly, it turned its tiny head and looked at me straight in the eye.

I heard a horrifying screech and I quickly realized it was me, screaming in horror. 

 

I tried to pull myself together and shakily aimed at it; I sprayed until the bottle was almost empty. The roach fought but in the end, it succumbed.

 

I shiver when I recall the moment and the image of that tiny head slowly turning around to look at me, still haunts me to this date.

[TBoneTX 45,244]

16 hours ago, Neonred said:

1.  Holy pepperoni!  I couldn't stash that many slices in my stomach, left leg, right leg, and all my pockets!

2.  Here we go again...

1.  n00b, si man

2.  see #1, see man

Many.  LPoP and unread, no see man.

[TBoneTX 45,244]

10 hours ago, Ontarkie said:

We have just over Many chickens. I lost count so who really knows. 

If you were using P-Math as you should, D ma'am, the answer would be "Many" and you'd never lose count, no man!   

Bad P-Math-impaired Ontarklar!  Bad, BAD P-Math-impaired, P-MATH-IMPAIRED Ontarklar!

10 hours ago, Ontarkie said:

Polish chickens

Obviously you have Many, si and see and  D ma'am!

10 hours ago, Ontarkie said:

Ok enough of eggs and chickens now. 

It is never enough, no man!  You buckle down and report even more, si D ma'am!

Delinquent Ontarklar!  Delinquent, DELINQUENT Ontarklar!

11 hours ago, Ontarkie said:

The Hillbilly is smoking ribs

Cigars are cheaper, si man.

11 hours ago, Ontarkie said:

I need to fold laundry.

You do your domestic duties right now, young lady man!

Bad domestically delinquent Ontarklar!  Bad, BAD domestically delinquent DOMESTICALLY DELINQUENT Ontarklar!

11 hours ago, Ontarkie said:

He is pushing Many lbs already and Many 1/2 inches long

Size of mammoth critter precised, si and see and  D ma'am.

11 hours ago, Ontarkie said:

I have to get a few more things done today like get the grass cut. I'm trying to make sure everything is done

You get everything done not only today, but this minute, si D ma'am!

Indolent nonworking Ontarklar!  Indolent, INDOLENT nonworking NONWORKING Ontarklar!

[TBoneTX 45,244]

3 hours ago, Neonred said:

I'm sure it's easier than climbing stairs.

Anything is easier than climbing stairs*, si and  man!

     *conceived by Satan himself, oh our body man

[TBoneTX 45,244]

Turtle jokes, see man:

 

• Why did the turtle sleep all day, huh man?  It was noc-turtle, hee hee man.

• What do you call a flying turtle, huh man?  A shellicopter, hee hee man.

• What happens when you cross a pig with a tortoise, huh man?  You end up with a slowpork, hee hee man.

• Where do you send turtles who commit crimes, huh man?  To the shell block, hee hee man.

• What did the turtle do when he won the race, huh man?  He shellebrated, hee hee man.

• What's a turtle's favorite game, huh man?  Beakaboo, hee hee man.

What do you call a turtle with diarrhea, huh man?  A turdle, hee hee man.

 

A turtle strolled into a restaurant for a light lunch and decided on the soup, si man.  The server said to him, "I'm sorry, sir, but we don't serve a turtle soup in this restaurant, no man."

[TBoneTX 45,244]

2 hours ago, Allaboutwaiting said:

One day, a humongous cockroach entered my place

A man telephoned a pet shop and said, "I want to place an order for Many,000 cockroaches, si man."

"What in the world do you want with that many cockroaches, huh man?" asked the clerk.

"Well, I'm moving tomorrow, see man, and my lease says that I must leave the premises in exactly the same condition in which I found them, si man."

[TBoneTX 45,244]

Important Addendum to Thrilling Saturday non-GS/ES report, see additionally man:

 

One of our stops was at Favorite Small Thrift Shop, hadn't been in a while man.

The take, see man:

 -- seemingly lightly worn Levi's jean shorts = $1, steal man

 -- seemingly unworn Levi's jeans = $1, steal man

Total = $2, financially savvy we man

[TBoneTX 45,244]

Thrilling Sunday report, see man:

 

Did not leave the casa*, optimal Sunday man.

     *Mama T-B. agreed to no visit in view of Mini-B.'s early departure, agree senior she man

Conquered Many (2+1) laundry loads, always traumatic man.

Put newly warshed sheets from Friday's ES on bed, value confirmed man.

Dished/de-dished the warsher twice, should've dished it during week man.   

 

Lunch for Mini-B. was onecan S+Ms, ingest wee man.

Lunch for us was onecan Aldi chili, ingest we man.

 

Ex-Mrs.-T-B. wanted to show up at Many p.m., typical man.

We beefed, and she + Rojo + daughters showed up at half-of-half past 2, better man.

They were going to look at casas to buy, sigh man.

Mini-B. was quite negative about this, waste of time to wee man man.

We learned later that ex-Mrs.-T-B. dropped him at her casa before everyone else proceeded, si man.

 

A siesta was taken and AFV was watched, si man.

Miu sat on our lap during late TV news, lap-miu man.

Miu misses Big Bruddah already, as does Daddy man.

 

Based on little things that Mini-B. said during Two Guys week, we suspect that he prefers being with us, Two Guys man.

 

Din-din was the remaining leftover sausage from the block party, ingest we man.

Party with the rubias currently in full Cavort mode, uninhibited we man.

 

Addendum, see additionally man:

Ex-Mrs.-T-B. just sent plane itinerary for Ecu, see we man.

They're gone from July Many'th ([2x2x2x2 -1]th) to August Many'th ([2+2+1]th), gee man.

This misses Daddy's birthday, thanks man.

This returns Mini-B. just Many (2+1) -- si man, just Many (2+1) -- days before skool starts,    man.

He will be completely exhausted and not with enough time to recalibrate, si and no man.

Where is ex-Mrs.-T-B.'s head, huh man?!  

The Rojo is going for just one week, understandable man.

Edited April 22 by TBoneTX

[TBoneTX 45,244]

Thrilling Monday report, see man:

 

Tried to sleep in, but miu sat on our stomach to indicate a need for miu-breakfast, obvious miu man.

 

Got our hairs cut, shorn-'nuff we man.

Was pleased that Great Clips has a $Many.Many* special through Friday, financially savvy we man.

     *$Many ([$2x2x2 +1] - a penny), deal man

Then went to legacy supermarket to use a bunch of coupons, financially savvy we man.

Then warshed filthy T-B.-mobile, Clean for Gene we man.

 

Lunch was toucans of chicken noodle soup**, ingest we man.

     **bought with coupon and with no need to cupboard them, $i and no man

Treated & lunched miu, satisfied miu man.

A siesta was then taken, zzz we man.

 

Din-din was Many (2+1) cotto salami sandwiches, ingest we man.

Curbsided the garbage, domestic we man.

 

Party with the rubias later, cavort we man.

 

On Tuesday, we must return to favorite big thrift shop for yet more Mini-B.*** clothes,  man.

     ***far too picky wee man, sigh and  man

[TBoneTX 45,244]

Scintillating Tuesday repartee, yawn man.

-----

Thrilling Tuesday report, see man:

 

Awoke a full hour before alarm, getting sick of this man.

 

Among errands was visit to favorite large thrift store, visit we on discount day man.

We found Mini-B. only about Many (2+1) pants, bummer man.

We found him approximately Many (2x2x2 -1) shirts and 2 pair socks, find we man.

We saved $Many, financially savvy we man.

 

Lunch was at favorite Chinese buffet, both waitress "girlfriends" there man.

(And no, Bro G., nothing happened or was desired to happen, no and no man.)

The place has gone up half a buck on their buffet prices,  man.

We consumed Many (2+1) plates piled with chicken & beef, ingest we man.

 

At casa, serviced miu and attempted a siesta, attempt zzz we man.

Awoke several minutes before that alarm, too, getting sick of this man.

 

Chauffeured ourself, Mini-B., &  Mama T-B. to a Passover Seder invitation, chauffeur we man.

Infernal traffic accident tied up the short route to ex-Mrs.-T-B.'s casa,  man.

Seder was interesting, quite pleasant, and rife with edibles, ingest we man.

Sacramental hooch was our first hooch-imbibing of any kind in as long as we can remember, si man.

Managed to return Mama T-B. & Mini-B. in time for late TV news, timely returns man.

 

Serviced expectant miu, servile we man.

Party with the rubias in process, cavort we man.

[TBoneTX 45,244]

Scintillating Wednesday repartee, yawn man.

-----

Thrilling Wednesday report, see man:

 

Fond thoughts toward the soon-to-be-tonsillectomied Ontarklar, si man.

 

Almost slept until alarm went off, what's up with this man.

Ran errands, thrilling news man.

 

Lunch was a sub sandwich from Walmart, ingest we man.

A siesta thereafter was partially successful, partial-zzz we man.

 

We are going to have to find a way to meet chicas, maybe this is the zzz problem man.

 

The Rojo is going to make an offer on a casa, that's the big news man.

 

Din-din was 2 ham sandwiches, indict them and ingest we man.

 

Miu has demanded brushing Many (2+2) times so far today, demanding miu man.

 

Party with the rubias anytime now, cavort we man.

 

Thrilling day, yawn man.