Would You Have Moved There?

[dmartmar 1]

Had I wanted to live in my spouse's home country, I would've moved there first, then gotten married.

But instead, it was the other way around.

Nowadays, she lives over there and I live over here.

Edited April 10, 2006 by dmartmar

[luvaLimey 0]

I agree with Meddy. But if it came down to the visa beig denied (which is very highly unlikely) I would do what I'd have to in order to be with him. I wouldn't leave my children, but I would hire a damn good lawyer and start working on custody arrangements so my kids could come with me.

I don't want to have to take them away from their father. They are very happy now as we have the custody arrangement: 3 days a week with him, 4 with me, then 4 days with him the next week and 3 with me. 6 months in England with me, and 6 months with him would wreak havoc on their enducation... and them spending the school year with me and holidays (including school holidays) with him would probably be how it would have to work, but it would mean we wouldn't have the 50-50 custody split we've got now. (plus my finace really doesn't like living in England)

I'll admit Shon: it's a lot easier for me to say "I'd move there" since he's in the UK and its standard of living is very similar to the US, the language is the same (mostly... still don't quite get rhyming slang), and since I was raised by an Anglophile and lived there myself when very small it feels like a comfortable place when I'm there.

I wouldn't want to move to Pakistan either. If it were the case of moving somewhere that was THAT different from what I was used to, I'd look into that 3rd country option; see if we could both emigrate to some other country together. Like Canada.

Only then I'd have to live with Canadians .

[MichelleandCraig 1]

Wow Shon! Not quite what you've griped at me for months and months..but hey! forget about all THAT now that you're the one being asked! After browsing the site the last few days and seeing all the unnecessary attacks and our names being brought up by this person time and time again(on threads that have NOTHING to do with us!), I don't really care if anyone sees this as me 'calling her out' or whatever. I'm quite tired of this 'sir' and I don't intend to pussyfoot around him to be sure! Doesn't matter whether it's UK or Pakistan or anywhere else either..uprooting your life, upsetting those around you, your kids and yourself has nothing to do with the conditions where you are.I could quote the things you said (and if you insist upon me finding what you said *I should do that *you're unwilling to do yourself, I will, but don't feel like wasting my time searching for what I know is there anyway) Sounds to me like you wouldn't quite be willing to practice what you preach, Shonnie dearest. Hmmm.

Anyway, to answer the question, there are a lot of reasons I couldn't move to the UK, but the biggest one is that I highly doubt my ex would allow it either.....there is a possibility the ex could get overruled by the judge, however. As it stands, he doesn't see Corey, but he DOES have joint custody of him..so I don't know how that would work itself out. If it ever comes into play we'll find out I guess!

[shakysgirl 1]

I did move there- and LOVED it. We only moved back due to severe child custody problems. I would live just about anywhere (with obvious exceptions) to be with my husband- it wouldn't even be an issue. I moved there to be with him, he moved here to be with me when it became obvioius we couldn't remain in the UK due to unresolvable child custody issues. That's what you do when you love someone.

[Welshcookie 17]

Yes he would settle here in England if thats what it would take for us to be together...in fact he did choose to stay here for another 3 yrs when it came apparent that I couldn't return to US with him last year...but both of us would prefer to live in the US.

[Cdnwmn 0]

I moved here (U.S.) only because he made the better money, was not that far off from retirement. Hopefully moving back to Canada once he retires. I'm working on it...lol. Somehow I don't think he would have given up everything he had to come to Canada. I couldn't and wouldn't have asked that of him. That's just me though.

[dmartmar 1]

I did move there, and LOVED it! We only moved back, due to severe child custody problems. I would live just about anywhere (with obvious exceptions) to be with my husband, it wouldn't even be an issue. I moved there to be with him, he moved here to be with me, when it became obvioius we couldn't remain in the UK, due to unresolvable child custody issues. That's what you do when you love someone.

Having severe child custody problems are your main and only reasons for moving there, which is to be commended. But what if there had not been any child custody problems whatsoever, only you and your husband?

I only moved here to the US because he made better money than me and not far from retirement. Hopefully we'll be moving back to Canada, once he retires. I'm working on it (lol). Somehow, I don't think he would have given up everything he had to come to Canada. I couldn't and wouldn't have asked him to do that. But that's just me though.

Based on your above post, were your husband's finances the only reasons why you moved here?

Moving there before or after his retirement never looked as part of his plans.

[babybunny 2]

Wow Shon! Not quite what you've griped at me for months and months..but hey! forget about all THAT now that you're the one being asked! After browsing the site the last few days and seeing all the unnecessary attacks and our names being brought up by this person time and time again(on threads that have NOTHING to do with us!), I don't really care if anyone sees this as me 'calling her out' or whatever. I'm quite tired of this 'sir' and I don't intend to pussyfoot around him to be sure! Doesn't matter whether it's UK or Pakistan or anywhere else either..uprooting your life, upsetting those around you, your kids and yourself has nothing to do with the conditions where you are.I could quote the things you said (and if you insist upon me finding what you said *I should do that *you're unwilling to do yourself, I will, but don't feel like wasting my time searching for what I know is there anyway) Sounds to me like you wouldn't quite be willing to practice what you preach, Shonnie dearest. Hmmm.

Anyway, to answer the question, there are a lot of reasons I couldn't move to the UK, but the biggest one is that I highly doubt my ex would allow it either.....there is a possibility the ex could get overruled by the judge, however. As it stands, he doesn't see Corey, but he DOES have joint custody of him..so I don't know how that would work itself out. If it ever comes into play we'll find out I guess!

life in the UK is not harsh at all. I know I lived there. I also would not set myself up to a hard life.

what for?

I would not be move to pakistan for alot of reasons:

1.. my race.

2. I would not be able to get a job that is remotely close that I have now.

3. the current situations in pakistan is very very bad example the tribal area and recent protest and bombings.

4. I dont speak Urdu, or Arabic.

what kind of life would it be for me? a life as a servant is all I could be.

[babybunny 2]

now I hope you are done with the "What if "fantasy Michelle..

and face your Reality of repairing your marriage? Your man about to walk out on your behind. but, you rather be hen pecking on here. I can see you have not learned a dayum thing. your man came home twice to you < so you claim > to be a family with you and you steady typing bulldog on this board. oh smokes did I call you out MICHELLE

Edited April 11, 2006 by shonjaved

[Cdnwmn 0]

QUOTE

I only moved here to the US because he made better money than me and not far from retirement. Hopefully we'll be moving back to Canada, once he retires. I'm working on it (lol). Somehow, I don't think he would have given up everything he had to come to Canada. I couldn't and wouldn't have asked him to do that. But that's just me though.

Based on your above post, were your husband's finances the only reasons why you moved here?

Moving there before or after his retirement never looked as part of his plans.

I should have elaborated more. We had discussed pros and cons of both sides. Yes he had the better job, had been more established in his job and was not long away from retirement. His other consideration was his parents. He said his likelihood of getting a job in Canada like the one he has in the U.S. at his age would probably have been nil and zilch plus he looked at how much he had invested in his pension already. It wouldnt have made any sense for him at that point to come to Canada so I agreed to make the move. We've talked about his retirement being in Canada and he has this mindset that Canada wouldn't accept him for some reason but he hasn't ruled out the possibility of moving - just needs to investigate it more.

[jodyangel 0]

For ONCE Shon I have to say Amen to you. The rumor around VJ is that Craig is already gone back home. There is no way to prove otherwise.

Don't believe everything you read in type too.......easily tampered with.

[MichelleandCraig 1]

I'm not getting into this again (I said what I had to say to Shon..we despise one another and I was just sick of her rants on ME but whatever)(and you didn't call out JACK Shon, and we're just fine thank you very much for asking!!) What about, I wouldn't let him walk out the door without MEEEEE????(Oh ok..well better hope he never wants to go back to Pakistan then!! regardless of how remote or probable that possibility) Guess you don't practice what you gripe. I mean, preach.

Anyone that would like to call Craig and speak to him has been invited to do so in the other thread..so if THAT rumor is hanging about...it's only because people want the drama..as Shon calls it.. and don't actually want to know the facts...unless, of course, I all of a sudden have some other guy with an English accent living in my house! ha!! Anyway, that's all you'll get from me on this..I'm not responding to the idiot above any longer. M.(and if I get banned for THAT..OH WELL. She's said much worse to me...it shoudl be relative.) Now, carry this on as long as you like, and I hope you won't..as I'm done with it. The only reason I felt the need to respond is because I said something first in THIS particular thread. END. M.

Edited April 11, 2006 by MichelleandCraig

[Ladylethal 12]

It was our original plan, but we studied the possibilites, job offers, life quality, easier way, etc, and we decide I should be the one moving, although we didn´t cross the possibility of ever returning, if life proves to be better here than there. We both love Brasil and I am sure he´d move here in a blink of an eye.

[springrobin 0]

I would move there in a heartbeat, but my overly dramatic family would never give me a moments peace (I'd still go, if that is the way it goes). Anyway, he's doubled his salary here compared to what he made there. At the moment, we have a better standard of living than we would in the UK.

[kygeographer 0]

I would move there in a heartbeat, if there was more entry-level demand for my profession. We've talked about it time and again, almost even starting a Australian fiance visa application. The main thing that's kept us from doing so is the amount of paperwork required to do that. I've also heard from several people on the other side of the pond that my degree would be useless over there for purposes of securing an entry level position. Our best bet is for me to stay here and build my resume up, then see what jobs there are over there. I love the idea of being an expatriate living in another country, and it's a good possibility when we want to start a family, or if things here in the US start taking a nose dive. Either way, I don't want my kids in the American public school system.

So, yes, in a nutshell. I'd move over there, if I thought the employment prospects looked better.