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Debate | If a Man Dates a Trans-Woman is he Gay?

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Filed: K-1 Visa Country: Wales
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Fascinating topic of our time, let the debate begin!

“If you know the enemy and know yourself, you need not fear the result of a hundred battles. If you know yourself but not the enemy, for every victory gained you will also suffer a defeat. If you know neither the enemy nor yourself, you will succumb in every battle.”

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Filed: Citizen (apr) Country: Morocco
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i would think if one has had the transgender surgery,  then no

but,  isn't it all how one feels about the gender identity and not how others perceive 

 

But this is interesting at this time as transgender Rep,  Zooey Zephyr is banned from speaking in Montana's congress

 

https://www.npr.org/2023/04/26/1172158461/montana-gop-transgender-zooey-zephyr-punishment-banned-speaking-lgbtq

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Filed: K-1 Visa Country: Wales
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I head that listening to NPR.

 

She strikes me as particularly weird and am having issues with any normal bloke either being interested or thinking she is female.

“If you know the enemy and know yourself, you need not fear the result of a hundred battles. If you know yourself but not the enemy, for every victory gained you will also suffer a defeat. If you know neither the enemy nor yourself, you will succumb in every battle.”

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Filed: Citizen (apr) Country: Ecuador
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Years ago, a friend described himself as a "male lesbian."

His explanation made sense.

However, no elaboration can be posted here.

Edited by TBoneTX

06-04-2007 = TSC stamps postal return-receipt for I-129f.

06-11-2007 = NOA1 date (unknown to me).

07-20-2007 = Phoned Immigration Officer; got WAC#; where's NOA1?

09-25-2007 = Touch (first-ever).

09-28-2007 = NOA1, 23 days after their 45-day promise to send it (grrrr).

10-20 & 11-14-2007 = Phoned ImmOffs; "still pending."

12-11-2007 = 180 days; file is "between workstations, may be early Jan."; touches 12/11 & 12/12.

12-18-2007 = Call; file is with Division 9 ofcr. (bckgrnd check); e-prompt to shake it; touch.

12-19-2007 = NOA2 by e-mail & web, dated 12-18-07 (187 days; 201 per VJ); in mail 12/24/07.

01-09-2008 = File from USCIS to NVC, 1-4-08; NVC creates file, 1/15/08; to consulate 1/16/08.

01-23-2008 = Consulate gets file; outdated Packet 4 mailed to fiancee 1/27/08; rec'd 3/3/08.

04-29-2008 = Fiancee's 4-min. consular interview, 8:30 a.m.; much evidence brought but not allowed to be presented (consul: "More proof! Second interview! Bring your fiance!").

05-05-2008 = Infuriating $12 call to non-English-speaking consulate appointment-setter.

05-06-2008 = Better $12 call to English-speaker; "joint" interview date 6/30/08 (my selection).

06-30-2008 = Stokes Interrogations w/Ecuadorian (not USC); "wait 2 weeks; we'll mail her."

07-2008 = Daily calls to DOS: "currently processing"; 8/05 = Phoned consulate, got Section Chief; wrote him.

08-07-08 = E-mail from consulate, promising to issue visa "as soon as we get her passport" (on 8/12, per DHL).

08-27-08 = Phoned consulate (they "couldn't find" our file); visa DHL'd 8/28; in hand 9/1; through POE on 10/9 with NO hassles(!).

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Filed: Citizen (apr) Country: Ecuador
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Stated very well.  Comments?

They are Males, but They're Not Men

 

I suspect if I were to pick a fight with a 10-year-old boy, I could win.   I could knock him to the ground, kick him, stomp on him awhile, leave him moaning in pain, and then prance around, my arms raised in victory, glorying in my "achievement" of slaughtering somebody half my size.  Wouldn't I be wonderful?  [...]

 

https://townhall.com/columnists/marklewis/2023/04/30/they-are-males-but-theyre-not-men-n2622631

06-04-2007 = TSC stamps postal return-receipt for I-129f.

06-11-2007 = NOA1 date (unknown to me).

07-20-2007 = Phoned Immigration Officer; got WAC#; where's NOA1?

09-25-2007 = Touch (first-ever).

09-28-2007 = NOA1, 23 days after their 45-day promise to send it (grrrr).

10-20 & 11-14-2007 = Phoned ImmOffs; "still pending."

12-11-2007 = 180 days; file is "between workstations, may be early Jan."; touches 12/11 & 12/12.

12-18-2007 = Call; file is with Division 9 ofcr. (bckgrnd check); e-prompt to shake it; touch.

12-19-2007 = NOA2 by e-mail & web, dated 12-18-07 (187 days; 201 per VJ); in mail 12/24/07.

01-09-2008 = File from USCIS to NVC, 1-4-08; NVC creates file, 1/15/08; to consulate 1/16/08.

01-23-2008 = Consulate gets file; outdated Packet 4 mailed to fiancee 1/27/08; rec'd 3/3/08.

04-29-2008 = Fiancee's 4-min. consular interview, 8:30 a.m.; much evidence brought but not allowed to be presented (consul: "More proof! Second interview! Bring your fiance!").

05-05-2008 = Infuriating $12 call to non-English-speaking consulate appointment-setter.

05-06-2008 = Better $12 call to English-speaker; "joint" interview date 6/30/08 (my selection).

06-30-2008 = Stokes Interrogations w/Ecuadorian (not USC); "wait 2 weeks; we'll mail her."

07-2008 = Daily calls to DOS: "currently processing"; 8/05 = Phoned consulate, got Section Chief; wrote him.

08-07-08 = E-mail from consulate, promising to issue visa "as soon as we get her passport" (on 8/12, per DHL).

08-27-08 = Phoned consulate (they "couldn't find" our file); visa DHL'd 8/28; in hand 9/1; through POE on 10/9 with NO hassles(!).

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In my view, gender/sex/sexual orientation became extremely complex matters and people are either rejecting or embracing without proper IN DEPTH discussion.

 

It attracts so much attention and passionate reactions that I'd dare to say it has become the number one topic for politicians to use for their own obscure intentions, for scholars to exploit and for people in general to hold as a symbol of where they stand and who they are. 

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Filed: K-1 Visa Country: Germany
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Personally, I don't think so. I personally have never fallen in love with someones genitalia. Or thought of someone as sexually attractive to me because of a specific sex organ. Of course people have preferences but then we would be complicating the whole topic. A different example would be that theres mainly men out there, who specifically seek out trans women because they are specifically attracted to the fact they look like a woman, but have a male sex organ. That's not really a sexuality though more than it is simply a fetish - a degrading one as well to minimize somebody down to their genitalia and for ones own sexual gratification. 

But if you don't specifically seek out trans women because you are fetishizing them but just happen to fall for a woman and find out she is trans and you can find yourself to be okay with it - then no. You just simply love somebody for who they are, a trans woman. But that's really just how I feel. ✌️

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I still haven't figured out if a transgendered man is a biological man that thanks he is a woman or a woman that identified as a man. It gets confusing 

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14 hours ago, Allaboutwaiting said:

In my view, gender/sex/sexual orientation became extremely complex matters and people are either rejecting or embracing without proper IN DEPTH discussion.

 

It attracts so much attention and passionate reactions that I'd dare to say it has become the number one topic for politicians to use for their own obscure intentions, for scholars to exploit and for people in general to hold as a symbol of where they stand and who they are. 

Gender is not really complex. You are born either a man or a woman, except in very very rare cases.

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Filed: K-1 Visa Country: Wales
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25 minutes ago, Nature Boy 2.0 said:

I still haven't figured out if a transgendered man is a biological man that thanks he is a woman or a woman that identified as a man. It gets confusing 

Chick with a ####### is a transwoman

Edited by Boiler

“If you know the enemy and know yourself, you need not fear the result of a hundred battles. If you know yourself but not the enemy, for every victory gained you will also suffer a defeat. If you know neither the enemy nor yourself, you will succumb in every battle.”

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Filed: Citizen (apr) Country: Ecuador
Timeline

06-04-2007 = TSC stamps postal return-receipt for I-129f.

06-11-2007 = NOA1 date (unknown to me).

07-20-2007 = Phoned Immigration Officer; got WAC#; where's NOA1?

09-25-2007 = Touch (first-ever).

09-28-2007 = NOA1, 23 days after their 45-day promise to send it (grrrr).

10-20 & 11-14-2007 = Phoned ImmOffs; "still pending."

12-11-2007 = 180 days; file is "between workstations, may be early Jan."; touches 12/11 & 12/12.

12-18-2007 = Call; file is with Division 9 ofcr. (bckgrnd check); e-prompt to shake it; touch.

12-19-2007 = NOA2 by e-mail & web, dated 12-18-07 (187 days; 201 per VJ); in mail 12/24/07.

01-09-2008 = File from USCIS to NVC, 1-4-08; NVC creates file, 1/15/08; to consulate 1/16/08.

01-23-2008 = Consulate gets file; outdated Packet 4 mailed to fiancee 1/27/08; rec'd 3/3/08.

04-29-2008 = Fiancee's 4-min. consular interview, 8:30 a.m.; much evidence brought but not allowed to be presented (consul: "More proof! Second interview! Bring your fiance!").

05-05-2008 = Infuriating $12 call to non-English-speaking consulate appointment-setter.

05-06-2008 = Better $12 call to English-speaker; "joint" interview date 6/30/08 (my selection).

06-30-2008 = Stokes Interrogations w/Ecuadorian (not USC); "wait 2 weeks; we'll mail her."

07-2008 = Daily calls to DOS: "currently processing"; 8/05 = Phoned consulate, got Section Chief; wrote him.

08-07-08 = E-mail from consulate, promising to issue visa "as soon as we get her passport" (on 8/12, per DHL).

08-27-08 = Phoned consulate (they "couldn't find" our file); visa DHL'd 8/28; in hand 9/1; through POE on 10/9 with NO hassles(!).

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Filed: Citizen (apr) Country: Russia
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7 hours ago, TBoneTX said:

Yep, makes so much sense.

 

As of this past week, it’s apparently “for some lesbians.” And those would be the lesbians who are interested in dating men. 

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Filed: Citizen (apr) Country: Russia
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On 4/30/2023 at 5:41 AM, redmist said:

Personally, I don't think so. I personally have never fallen in love with someones genitalia. Or thought of someone as sexually attractive to me because of a specific sex organ.

Ideally you are correct, but how many personal relationships are based on superficial things such as looks, money, etc.?  If one is a heterosexual man or woman looking for a relationship with someone of the opposite sex based on things like looks, what happens if they find out that person is something they were not expecting?

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Filed: K-1 Visa Country: Germany
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15 minutes ago, Dashinka said:

Ideally you are correct, but how many personal relationships are based on superficial things such as looks, money, etc.?  If one is a heterosexual man or woman looking for a relationship with someone of the opposite sex based on things like looks, what happens if they find out that person is something they were not expecting?

Then they are either willing to try, to see if they can make it work or if one is just simply too uncomfortable for it, then unfortunately it can’t work. It should be something discussed priorly though in my opinion, as in the first time they find out about it shouldn’t be literally in bed. Then that gives the man in question some space to think about whether or not he is confident enough in his sexuality to try, or not which would be fine as well. Maybe it’s just something he’s not interested in and knows that before trying. As long as that is communicated respectfully because there are many instances were trans women had their life threatened because they allegedly were being deceiving. 

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Filed: Citizen (apr) Country: Russia
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3 hours ago, redmist said:

Then they are either willing to try, to see if they can make it work or if one is just simply too uncomfortable for it, then unfortunately it can’t work. It should be something discussed priorly though in my opinion, as in the first time they find out about it shouldn’t be literally in bed. Then that gives the man in question some space to think about whether or not he is confident enough in his sexuality to try, or not which would be fine as well. Maybe it’s just something he’s not interested in and knows that before trying. As long as that is communicated respectfully because there are many instances were trans women had their life threatened because they allegedly were being deceiving. 

Based on both human nature and on some of the stories we see here in VJ, I tend to be of the opinion that superficial qualities are front and center for most when forming a personal relationship.  How many stories of folks that want to send their spouse or fiancé back when secrets are learned, etc.  Sure communication is key as I did with my now wife, but too many people now days do not know how to communicate.

 

As to the topic at hand let me try.

 

  • Male to Female (no surgical transition)
    • Likes Men - Gay
    • Likes Women - Straight
  • Male to Female (full transition)
    • Likes Men - Straight
    • Likes Women - Lesbian
  • Female to Male (no surgical transition)
    • Likes Men - Straight
    • Likes Women - Lesbian
  • Female to Male (full transition)
    • Likes Men - Gay
    • Likes Women - Straight

 

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