What Are Your Experiences With Language Issues

[CityCat 0]

I am wondering if Russia had closed borders now, how such men would procreate (or get laid for that matter)?..

Wow! You're talking about me, right? I know that you need to have thick skin to venture out onto these forums but, I don't really need this abuse! I just gave a few examples, I am not going to write a dissertation here. You are right, there are a lot of Russian women here and I have dated some, I just wasn't lucky enough to find the right one.

Now, if you will excuse me, I will go back under the rock I crawled out of and you boys and girls can have this playground all to yourself.

No offense meant, I was just wondering (based on what I have seen on the matter of such relationship)

No, I didn't mean you, I meant the men who actually (some of them anyways) admit that they would never be much of a hit with American women. So apparently, they would never be able to have families with local gals. Again, there are men who admit it.

Sorry, again, no offense or abuse meant!

[Satellite 1]

Wow! You're talking about me, right? I know that you need to have thick skin to venture out onto these forums but, I don't really need this abuse!

If you are not sure ask your fiancée if she'd be with you if you were a Russian man, living on an average Russian wage, living in small flat with your parents, etc... and she met you randomly in person in the streets of her city?

[Nancy2015 2]

Do I need to say more? I am standing with my position that (1) the desire for a green card will allow a woman to be "less" selective and overlook a bunch bad attributes that a Russian woman already here or any woman without immigration issues would not and (2) Of course they will not leave and be loyal because that hinders the goal and reason of coming to the states (green card and all the benefits associated with that).

I think if that guy is really good, she may stick with him even when she's done with immigration. I'm sure you know that russian-fiancee.com (or whatever) forum - lots of ladies there seem to be content with their husbands. So, even if their main reason for marrying an American was immigration, they don't have a desire to divorce just because they already have citizenship.

[Satellite 1]

I'm sure you know that Russian-fiancée.com (or whatever) forum - lots of ladies there seem to be content with their husbands.

Actually I didn't know. I am not that crazy about the subject. Nor do I visit every single website associated with fiancées, Russians, women, immigration, etc... I hardly have time to keep with the Russian forum here on VJ.

More or less my point was about the initial contact and reason for staying throughout the immigration process. After that I can't comment. Most of the people I know who are in such relationships are still in the immigration phase.

[Nancy2015 2]

I'm sure you know that Russian-fiancée.com (or whatever) forum - lots of ladies there seem to be content with their husbands.

Actually I didn't know. I am not that crazy about the subject. Nor do I visit every single website associated with fiancées, Russians, women, immigration, etc... I hardly have time to keep with the Russian forum here on VJ.

You don't really strike me as a person who's crazy about the subject.

[Turboguy 6]

From what I have heard about 5% of the women who look for a foreign husband ever find one. I am sure some who really want a better life may have to get a little desperate in thier choices. I am sure if they felt they were acting out of desperation they might not stay any longer than they have to.

I think a lot of the reality of it is if they get here and have a nice life and a man that treats them well they are likely to stay. If they get here and have a life that is worse than they expected or they think they can have a better life with someone else or no one else they won't stay two seconds longer than they need to for the green card and may go sooner.

[Satellite 1]

From what I have heard about 5% of the women who look for a foreign husband ever find one.

And I was the reason my wife is in that 5%. LOL, keeping the self esteem up?! I'd love to see some data on it. But I guess it makes sense. Not every person on the on-line catalog will find themselves a husband. But what is the rate in reverse? What percentage of American men succeed in finding a foreign bride? 95%?

[slim 1,530]

This conversation has been had several times here on VJ. There are some good points made above, and if you're one of those guys that's being a bit naive about the process.... better face reality and start calling a duck a duck. Be true to yourself. If you can't trust your gut, don't go through with it just to see "what happens." There's a reason there are 40,000+ foreign women looking for "western" husbands and not so many foreign men looking for "western" wives. If you keep that in mind, and the real reasons behind it, you should do just fine in this process.

I meant the men who actually (some of them anyways) admit that they would never be much of a hit with American women. So apparently, they would never be able to have families with local gals. Again, there are men who admit it.

Sorry, again, no offense or abuse meant!

I'm not going to say I'm not much of a hit with American women, but I will say, pound-for-pound, I'm going to "level-up" with a foreign girl just about every time. I am one of those guys that if I go out somewhere and there is a table full of American women sitting next to a table of women from another country, I'm going for the foreigners first. Just my personal policy. And that's what most of the men going through websites to find foreign brides are doing. They're increasing their odds at finding a bride that's a "level-up" from the potential mates they would find here.

We can take it all the way back to 7th grade biology class, guys are going to go for the youngest and most attractive woman they can dupe into marrying them while women are going to go for the richest and strongest man they can sucker into marrying them. There are always other factors involved, but, if you keep in mind what's going on inside that primitive head of yours (or hers) you can usually deduce what's happenning in the near future as well.

If you're seeing (or feeling) something and you choose to deny it or sugar-coat it as something else, then you're going to be back on here asking for a different sort of advice.

[natarussia 0]

"We can take it all the way back to 7th grade biology class, guys are going to go for the youngest and most attractive woman they can dupe into marrying them while women are going to go for the richest and strongest man they can sucker into marrying them."

Intereting viewpoint slim. Do you really believe that? I for one, had no interest in finding a foreign wife, I wanted a good wife, period and was not trying to dupe anyone into anything .. I didn't have to think that way and never have. I didn't notice how old my wife was until after we started talking and I didn't see any photos until a few emails has exchanged ... we also had agreed on several positions of discussion. As for my wife, she was not interested in rich or poor and most certainly had no intention of suckering anyone into marriage ... she wanted a good husband that shared her views and that she could find true love with, and if not, would have stayed in her city until she found the "man" she felt a connection with. Perhaps we have expereinced different Russian women, but I don't know the suckering type. The ones I've met (granted from small cities and towns) are the loviest truest people I've met in my life and would very easily dismiss me if they thought for a second I wasn't interested in them for making a famly and that I wouldn't be a loving husband and father ... I perhaps, have been lucky.

The women I've known have not been desparate, they've been honest and true to their onjectives ... and oddly enough, not driven by biology in essence, but more by their hearts. My wife has told me ... If you were Russian ( I am half Russian ) and living in Russia, I woud be honored to live through the trials of life with you because you are a good, honest, caring man that puts family before everything else". Men are not all immature punks looking to get the hottest piece of ### they can find ... most are happy to find a woman that they can fall in love with and vice versa.

I have heard stories of people who just want a green card and go through the motions to get one ... but I think those situations are the minority .. thank God. Between us, I think we're both lucky and blessed to be with the women that love us so much for exactly who we are. :-)

Dwayne

[Satellite 1]

Men are not all immature punks looking to get the hottest piece of ### they can find ... most are happy to find a woman that they can fall in love with and vice versa.

I agree in part. Those other men live in San Francisco and are looking for other men

[natarussia 0]

Men are not all immature punks looking to get the hottest piece of ### they can find ... most are happy to find a woman that they can fall in love with and vice versa.

I agree in part. Those other men live in San Francisco and are looking for other men

Oh my God ... that's hilarious!!! Amazing what a nice dose of levity can do for a forum.

Thanks!

[Turboguy 6]

From what I have heard about 5% of the women who look for a foreign husband ever find one.

And I was the reason my wife is in that 5%. LOL, keeping the self esteem up?! I'd love to see some data on it. But I guess it makes sense. Not every person on the on-line catalog will find themselves a husband. But what is the rate in reverse? What percentage of American men succeed in finding a foreign bride? 95%?

I would be willing to bet it is not more than 15%. I have heard that 90% of the guys who write women from overseas never make a trip to meet any. I think those armchair romantics believe some day they will go or hope to find a real life equivilent of the scammers on match.com who write and say they have a visa and want to visit for the summer. Real girls who have a tourist visa or work visa to America are pretty rare. I have met a lot of guys looking for a wife from Russia. Many have had no luck. Some just have unrealistic expectations. Maybe a dumpy average guy looking for a beauty queen 40 years younger. Maybe someone who thinks his money is going to get him a woman that would not spit on him here. Maybe someone can't afford or can't get the vacation time to persue a woman properly. It is hard to find the right woman if you have two weeks a year to work with.

For me I think I have always been drawn to somene with an accent and a differnt culture. Hearing a woman speak with an accent was like a big magnet for my attention. I have dated women from all over the world as well as a lot of American woman. When I think back to the ones that might have been worth being "keepers" only one was American.

[Kotenochek 0]

you guys are funny.you sound like in Russia we die with no food .I had very good career stable job and good family.and I have good looks so could easy find any men whether in Russia or anywhere else.Its all about Love.Or am I wrong?If you think women want marry you guys because of a better life you must have a very low self-esteem.why would you want to have something to do with a women that wants you just for a better life?Why not just find an american lady that already has that"better life"?

[natarussia 0]

you guys are funny.you sound like in Russia we die with no food .I had very good career stable job and good family.and I have good looks so could easy find any men whether in Russia or anywhere else.Its all about Love.Or am I wrong?If you think women want marry you guys because of a better life you must have a very low self-esteem.why would you want to have something to do with a women that wants you just for a better life?Why not just find an american lady that already has that"better life"?

Hi Kotenochek,

I think you are right. Many American men have a belief they are doing a Russian woman a favor by bringing her here for marriage. Truth is, it is NOT that the man is American ... it is that he is a good man for a good family and future. I told my husband, it doesn't matter if you are from the moon or mars or even America. You are a man that rings true in my soul and of all the other girls I know that have searched for a husband, the same is true.

American men should learn the phrase "Красна изба не углами, а пирогами". It basically means, "A beautiful cage does not stop the bird from being hungry". They may also want to realize, the risk taking is by the Russian woman ... she leaves her family, friends, comforts of familiar territory and language to come to America or where ever the man may be and start a family. For me, it was becasue of true love that I had waited all my life to find and for most Russian women that I know, this is the same truth.

If we all wanted was a young beautiful man, we can most certainly find that in Russia. Russian men are like none in the world. What is good, is very very good, what is bad is also very very bad. Why do we look for husbands on the Internet? In my city, there are 1 man for every 15 girls and the good ones are taken very young. In big cities perhaps it is different, but in the small towns, we lost our men to war and alcohol and depression and those small towns never recovered. Before the wars, when Russia was a stronger country, we all had jobs, we all had good families and most of us, even in the most difficult times, would have felt the need to find a husband from somewhere else. Learing history before insulting a cultures women would do most men a lot of good.

I am fortunate. My husband has a Russian mother, so he understands me, even when I don't sometimes. He knows there are some things in life that just need time and patience. I truly hope that all the women here are blessed with a good, caring, honest man that puts family before himself. As for the men, perhaps understand this ... If the woman has taken the risk to leave everything for you ... maybe, just maybe, you have something to offer her and she has something to offer you. It is not a one way street.

Natalia

[slim 1,530]

Basically, you guys are reenforcing my point here.

If you have true love with someone, it doesn't matter where they're from or how you met. However, you should be able to honestly say to yourself - "Is she doing this because she loves me, or is she doing this because she thinks it's going to open some doors for her?"

I'm not implying Russian women all worked in a factory for $100/month before being "rescued" by their American benefactors. (Although that is what most Americans think. They also think every Russian woman is a mail-order bride and every guy with a Russian wife is a loser that couldn't find a woman willing to marry him here.) What I am implying is if you've met a woman one time and have been e-mailing her for six months and are now going through the visa process, you better be darn sure that she's doing it for the reasons stated in the posts above, not just for the "shot at love with someone", that someone being several years older, several times richer, and in a country where she has a chance of meeting several more guys willing to take her on and pay all her expenses while she does whatever she wants.

If I'm not being clear here, I'll try to sum it up. I believe most women are doing it for love. I believe most of the guys are too. That said, most of the guys are getting "better" wives than what they would get here in the U.S. with American women. Most wives are getting "better" husbands than what they would get with Russian men. However, there are women out there willing to marry men they have absolutely no interest in simply to propel themselves into a higher standard of living. YOU COULD BE ONE OF THOSE GUYS!!! Ensure you're not. Take the time, be honest with yourself, and go with your gut. There are so many good women out there. Find one. Don't just choose the youngest and best looking one that will talk to you. Actually take your time and make sure you're both in it for the right reasons.