What Are Your Experiences With Language Issues

[etcm 0]

Hi,

It has been a long time since I posted. My wife has returned to Russia for her first visit after arriving here for our wedding. She has been here about 18 months, and will return this week after 2 months in Yoshkar Ola.

The AOS interview was conducted solely in English and the interviewer asked how we could communicate if my wife does not know English. Well she stepped up to the plate with the question and said, in her limited English, Mike understands me and I understand him! Her English is continuously improving but many times we have to seach for words that have similar roots in Russian and English so as to ensure we are on the same idea. Of course my new son was receiving A's in English in his first semester here and is already much better at grammar, spelling and reading than his American peers - so sad that so many American children do not use the valuable time in school to try to excel rather than "coast" along. I digress...it will help if she learns some English (lessons) in Russia...AND takes driving lessons. Instructions are best given in the native tongue! You or an instructor, here in the USA, attempting to inform/teach vital driving details might not be very effective if she is nervous about the car, you, and not knowing English.... but this is my own 2cents.

My wife took English lessons in Russia for about 9 months prior to her interview in Moscow and we practiced on the phone together. As another said, a lady can feel very alone and isolated if she cannot speak the language. Olga was very reluctant to interact with others due to feelings of not being able to speak English well enough but she has a nice disposition and recognizes that in others and will communicate with them. One incident in a store had a sales staff speaking louder to her (as if that will make her understand better), speaking aggressively and using very poor English grammar. The sales staff said some =thing to the effect that my wife needed to speak correctly English (sic) and I bristled saying that if she wanted my wife to spend money in the store, that she needed to attempt to communicate. From this, my wife learned that even in America many natives lack the ability to speak well and attempt to belittle others who are not fluent.

So, being prepared is always better. Good luck on those lessons. I really liked Pimsleur I & II but I was informed that it was not how people really spoke so I revised some of my limited Russian vocabulary and am content that I will never be in Russia apart from my fluent son and wife and I will be happy with that.

Of course my mother-in-law will come with my wiffe for a visit and I will need to speak Russian to her a little bit :-)

etcm

[Thomas-n-Elena 0]

How many times are you going to need to say "velosipyed" to your fiancee?

I guess it all depends if you are into bicycling or maybe velosipyed is a code word for something else

[slim 1,514]

I often try to think in Russian, just for practice. reading russian written books is a good way to learn the pronunciation, though i can only understand about 50% of it. While I'm walking my dog, I try to title everything I see with its Russian form. I think I'm just goofy like that.

Excellent practice methods! Reading aloud is especially important. You can read wonderfully to yourself; try to read aloud to a group of natives and you get laughed at! Reading aloud, even if you don't understand is a great way to improve your pronunciation skills. Trying to title everything is great! If you could label everything you see in Russian, you would be fluent in no time!

You may not be as "grammatically correct" as some of the other gents on here, but I would bet you're better understood by the ladies than they are because of your practicality.

Hi,

It has been a long time since I posted. .

It has been a long time since you posted, welcome back! Glad to see things are going well for you guys. Good luck in the future. And don't be such a stranger!

How many times are you going to need to say "velosipyed" to your fiancee?

I guess it all depends if you are into bicycling or maybe velosipyed is a code word for something else

I like to use another code..... "smotri moy vertolyet" my wife responds with her code - "Durak, shtoli?"

[visceral image 0]

Very good information and opinions in this thread; enjoyed reading it much; I agree with most of the feelings of Kevin but see the opinions of Slim as valid.

I lived in Russia for 8 months but learned very little language. My biggest motivation was during my last visit and Alla said "I love it when you speak Russian". The first time I said "I love you" I did it in Russian, it was important for me to communicate important concepts to her in her language. Of course, I also said it in English so she could understand my broken Russian.

I have always wanted to learn more Russian but I have great difficulty learning if I can not see the written words and hear the words at the same time. Pimsleur is good but nothing in writing so it was difficult for me-nothing written to go with the CD's.

[slim 1,514]

Pimsleur is good but nothing in writing so it was difficult for me-nothing written to go with the CD's.

Pimsleur actually has a printed study guide. I'm not sure which lesson it's in, but it's out there somewhere. If you purchase another language lesson set (Berlitz, etc.) their study guides should have most of the same words in print that Pimsleur is featuring in their audio.

I would suggest reading any and all Russian books you have, to include childrens' books. These first few learning lessons all cover pretty much the same stuff. "Kak vas zavout?" etc., etc., etc......

[visceral image 0]

"Kak vas zavout?"

john, ah vi

[mendeleev 68]

My main problem is that since I don't have a native tongue, I sometimes don't understand myself.

Sometimes this makes things interesting with my wife, who sometimes understands me better than I understand myself. And sometimes not. And the other way around -- both ways.

[slim 1,514]

My main problem is that since I don't have a native tongue, I sometimes don't understand myself.

Sometimes this makes things interesting with my wife, who sometimes understands me better than I understand myself. And sometimes not. And the other way around -- both ways.

???????

[Milenka 0]

My main problem is that since I don't have a native tongue, I sometimes don't understand myself.

Sometimes this makes things interesting with my wife, who sometimes understands me better than I understand myself. And sometimes not. And the other way around -- both ways.

???????

Yeah I agree with Slim ??????

[slim 1,514]

Everyone has a native tongue. You may be "from" more than one place, but there's always one language that you revert back to in times of great anguish or extasy.

[Waitlisted 0]

I know a several Russian women that came here with limited English skills and never went to ESL school after they got here. They can communicate, some better than others, but some are far from fluent after having been here for almost ten years now. The ones that didn't learn English as well are the ones that have not gone to work and have stayed home to take care of the children. Another one I know, married an American man that spoke Russian to her all the time. So, she taught herself how to speak English and now she is a realtor. It seems to me that it depends on how bad the person wants to learn English, not the method of study. Some, like my ex-wife (and I may be biased here) are just plain lazy. I sent her to ESL school but, she never really applied herself and refused my help. Now, her English skills are very limited and so are her chances of ever find a good job.

[Satellite 1]

Now, her English skills are very limited and so are her chances of ever find a good job.

(1) How do you guys communicate? Lack of communication leads to bigger problems besides finding a job. (2) If you are in San Francisco or the Bay Area, her odds of finding a job in the Russian speaking community is good.

[CityCat 0]

(1) How do you guys communicate? Lack of communication leads to bigger problems besides finding a job. (2) If you are in San Francisco or the Bay Area, her odds of finding a job in the Russian speaking community is good.

I don't know if you've noticed it, Sat, but the more we ask the question here of communication between international spouses without language skills, the more people who actually are in this situation, try to escape answering it. I get a feeling they don't communicate at all. She smiles and waves and he smiles and waves back...

Everybody can find a job if one looks hard enough. Those 12 mill illegal folks make their living somehow otherwise they wouldn't be here!

[Satellite 1]

I don't know if you've noticed it, Sat, but the more we ask the question here of communication between international spouses without language skills, the more people who actually are in this situation, try to escape answering it. I get a feeling they don't communicate at all. She smiles and waves and he smiles and waves back...

Good point, I've noticed that too. I ask this question all the time time, because even though my wife and I are both Russian native speakers, we still have difficulty in communicating some times. Some of it is just based on our personalities and another part is that some of my "Thinking in English" said in fluent in Russian doesn't always come across with the same meaning in Russian. Keep in mind I came here when I was six and she came just three years ago.

But I think this fellow was referring to his ex-wife. According to his timeline he has just started the process with I guess a new fiancée.

[Waitlisted 0]

You are right, communication, or lack thereof was a big problem in our marriage. We are divorced now and she is still working her dead end, minimum wage job supplemented with a part time job as a sort of nanny to Russian speaking invalids. In the beginning, we had difficulties communicating. It just takes longer to get your point across but, it can be done. After some time goes by, it gets easier and easier. We did have to use a friend to translate some complex issues from time to time. It is of paramount importance that both parties take the time to make sure that the other understands exactly what they are saying. Not all the time but, when you are talking serious issues. I don't think I did that well enough. Live and learn! I hope I can do better this time around!

Trying to learn each others language can be fun. You can forget jokes that are a play on words though! Blank stares is all you get!