Step child adoption

[NoMansLand2020 298]

Who has successfully adopted their Filipino step children? What was the process that you followed and how complicated was it? 

 

My spouse has two children whom she had with an ex boyfriend in the Philippines. They were never married. The biological father has not been in the picture for 4+ years. He pretty much abandoned the kids. 

 

One child's birth certificate lists him as the father. My spouse has no idea where he would be nor how to contact him. 

 

I spoke to an attorney today and he said the father would have to give up his rights and that we would most likely have to go to the Philippines to serve him. But since he is not familiar with the laws of the Philippines he cannot offer much help. He further said it would be an international adoption and that I am  looking at upwards of 25k to adopt each one. 

 

None of this makes sense to me. Why would my step children who have lived in the US with me and their mother for over a year be considered as an international adoption?  I further thought that single Filipino mothers have sole custody of their illegitimate children. And furthermore understood that parents who have abandoned their children have relinquished their parental rights. 

Edited March 28, 2023 by NoMansLand2020

[Lemonslice 4,917]

Good to hear that you have reconciled.  Others will have better advice about the adoption process.  

[top_secret 2,456]

14 minutes ago, NoMansLand2020 said:

I spoke to an attorney today and he said the father would have to give up his rights and that we would most likely have to go to the Philippines to serve him. But since he is not familiar with the laws of the Philippines he cannot offer much help. He further said it would be an international adoption and that I am  looking at upwards of 25k to adopt each one. 

Philippine law is very clear that if the mother was never married to the father then the the mother has absolute sole custody.  US Embassy Manila understands Philippine law in this area.  The mother needs no consent from the father to take the child anywhere she wants.  It does not matter that the father's name is on the birth certificate if there was no marriage.

 

As far as adopting in the US you may have a more difficult time explaining Philippine law to US institutions.  Clearly the lawyer isn't informed about Philippine custody law.

Edited March 28, 2023 by top_secret

[jskibo 588]

I did it but not quite the same situation as though wife never married but he was on the BC, however he passed away and we managed to get the death certificate. Overall not too bad, just under 6 months while COVID was going on, and employer covered all fees. 

[SalishSea 17,970]

2 hours ago, NoMansLand2020 said:

Who has successfully adopted their Filipino step children? What was the process that you followed and how complicated was it? 

 

My spouse has two children whom she had with an ex boyfriend in the Philippines. They were never married. The biological father has not been in the picture for 4+ years. He pretty much abandoned the kids. 

 

One child's birth certificate lists him as the father. My spouse has no idea where he would be nor how to contact him. 

 

I spoke to an attorney today and he said the father would have to give up his rights and that we would most likely have to go to the Philippines to serve him. But since he is not familiar with the laws of the Philippines he cannot offer much help. He further said it would be an international adoption and that I am  looking at upwards of 25k to adopt each one. 

 

None of this makes sense to me. Why would my step children who have lived in the US with me and their mother for over a year be considered as an international adoption?  I further thought that single Filipino mothers have sole custody of their illegitimate children. And furthermore understood that parents who have abandoned their children have relinquished their parental rights. 

Philippine laws are irrelevant in the US. Any adoption approved by the court where you live will be based on state laws.

[Allaboutwaiting 2,503]

You and your wife must get your act together before starting any legal process mate. 

 

 

Edited March 28, 2023 by Allaboutwaiting

[SalishSea 17,970]

2 hours ago, NoMansLand2020 said:

Who has successfully adopted their Filipino step children? What was the process that you followed and how complicated was it? 

 

My spouse has two children whom she had with an ex boyfriend in the Philippines. They were never married. The biological father has not been in the picture for 4+ years. He pretty much abandoned the kids. 

 

One child's birth certificate lists him as the father. My spouse has no idea where he would be nor how to contact him. 

 

I spoke to an attorney today and he said the father would have to give up his rights and that we would most likely have to go to the Philippines to serve him. But since he is not familiar with the laws of the Philippines he cannot offer much help. He further said it would be an international adoption and that I am  looking at upwards of 25k to adopt each one. 

 

None of this makes sense to me. Why would my step children who have lived in the US with me and their mother for over a year be considered as an international adoption?  I further thought that single Filipino mothers have sole custody of their illegitimate children. And furthermore understood that parents who have abandoned their children have relinquished their parental rights. 

Just curious as to why you're so eager to adopt your stepchildren when your marriage, by your own previous posts, seems to be in dire straits?   I'm sure I'm not the only one who sees a disconnect here.

[Boiler 45,731]

I am sure it was mentioned that he does not currently have a financial responsibility for his wife's 2 children, adopting them will see him properly hosed.

[SalishSea 17,970]

23 minutes ago, Boiler said:

I am sure it was mentioned that he does not currently have a financial responsibility for his wife's 2 children, adopting them will see him properly hosed.

He has financial responsibility in that he sponsored them.

[Boiler 45,731]

He may under the I 864 but they have not got that far yet.

[TBoneTX 45,591]

A noncontributory post has been removed.

[IWander 589]

9 hours ago, Jorgedig said:

He has financial responsibility in that he sponsored them.

When was the last time an I864 was actually enforced?

[Boiler 45,731]

42 minutes ago, IWander said:

When was the last time an I864 was actually enforced?

I found one Law Practice and this is all they do, so recently.

[Mike E 11,741]

1 hour ago, IWander said:

When was the last time an I864 was actually enforced?

https://media.ca11.uscourts.gov/opinions/pub/files/201914668.pdf
 

After Belevich immigrated from Russia, the sponsors cut off all financial support and accused him of sexually abusing Thomas’s six-year-old daughter. Belevich sued to enforce their obligations, and the sponsors raised the affirmative defenses of unclean hands, anticipatory breach, and equitable estoppel. The district court re- jected those defenses as a matter of law and awarded damages to Belevich.
 

[…]
 

We recognize that our decision may impose a heavy burden on the sponsors, especially considering the crimes that Belevich al- legedly committed against them. Nonetheless, the law compels this result. The sponsors’ obligations will terminate if Belevich’s prosecution results in a conviction and he is removed from the United States. See, e.g., 8 U.S.C. § 1227(a)(2)(E) (domestic violence is a deportable offense). In the meantime, we may not create de- fenses that the statute, regulation, and affidavit foreclose.

[Redro 4,611]

13 hours ago, NoMansLand2020 said:

Who has successfully adopted their Filipino step children? What was the process that you followed and how complicated was it? 

 

My spouse has two children whom she had with an ex boyfriend in the Philippines. They were never married. The biological father has not been in the picture for 4+ years. He pretty much abandoned the kids. 

 

One child's birth certificate lists him as the father. My spouse has no idea where he would be nor how to contact him. 

 

I spoke to an attorney today and he said the father would have to give up his rights and that we would most likely have to go to the Philippines to serve him. But since he is not familiar with the laws of the Philippines he cannot offer much help. He further said it would be an international adoption and that I am  looking at upwards of 25k to adopt each one. 

 

None of this makes sense to me. Why would my step children who have lived in the US with me and their mother for over a year be considered as an international adoption?  I further thought that single Filipino mothers have sole custody of their illegitimate children. And furthermore understood that parents who have abandoned their children have relinquished their parental rights. 

Is your wife on board with the adoption? 
I’m fairly sure your also require HER consent. 
And if you’re threatening to pull the i864 and divorce her I don’t know how you’ll manage to sort it all out. 

https://selfhelp.courts.ca.gov/stepparent-adoption

If you can show you don’t know where the father is, you might be able to complete the adoption. 
 

The timeline for a stepparent adoption is about 6 months to a year…

https://www.adoptionlawgroup.com/stepparent-adoption/how-to-adopt-my-stepchild-in-california

according to this website. So, I’m assuming you’re planning on staying with your wife and not pulling your i864? 
 

The timeline might be more complicated if you’re planning on adopting them before they receive their green cards.