Philippines Cell Phones, Cost, Load, Etc

[RO_AH 1,659]

18 hours ago, smore said:

I of course don't want to just send her the money

At this point she is just playing along hoping that it will lead to something. But honestly she has guys there in the Philippines making $100/week willing to do more for her than you.

[smore 19]

7 hours ago, MarJhi said:

If at some point to decide to make a commitment to her will you then be "handing over money"? I understand you not wanting to get burned, but when do you want to find out if she is responsible with money or not? I would rather know sooner than later. If you give her $10 or $15 for load and she says she is out of load after 3 days then you know there's a problem. 

I do agree about finding out if she is responsible with money and all, that would be great to find out, but at this stage even know we have known each other for awhile we have not met and with inconsistent communication that holds me back from just handing over money for her to buy load with. I would rather pay for it via a method that I can put the load on her phone and see what occurs. Sounds like there are options for me to pay having her phone number and put the load on it.

[smore 19]

3 hours ago, jskibo said:

Honestly it's less than $20 a month whatever plan she chooses (I'm back here again for two weeks picking up my mother in law to come to the US, my 8 day 10GB unlimited allnet  text on globe was 90 peso ($1.80)).

 

I think I pay just around $20 for the Converge home internet at this house too. 

 

......anyway the point is there's a lot higher costs in your future than $20 if you stick with her. Honestly If you feel you can't trust her with $20 cash then run, or re-evaluate what's holding you up from trusting people. Sounds awfully controlling but that's just my opinion. 

 

Good that its 20.00 or less a month, pretty responsible so that we can communicate more consistent, I perhaps should of thought of this sooner but did not realize how cell phones, load, etc work over there and just thought she would be able to keep load on the phone. This has nothing to do with being controlling, weird a person would bring that up, I have not even met her, sure we have been talking for a while, but we have not met in person and again has nothing to do with being controlling, has everything to do with being smart. I would never pay for a woman in the USA cell phone when we are just talking and have not met. My idea was to pay for her cell phone load, not give her the money to pay for it, nothing controlling about that, its to help our communication and its my idea, not hers, she has no idea I would suggest this. If after we meet and all goes well than I either keep paying for it myself or I give her the money for it, either way at that point is an option.

[jskibo 588]

4 minutes ago, smore said:

Good that its 20.00 or less a month, pretty responsible so that we can communicate more consistent, I perhaps should of thought of this sooner but did not realize how cell phones, load, etc work over there and just thought she would be able to keep load on the phone. This has nothing to do with being controlling, weird a person would bring that up, I have not even met her, sure we have been talking for a while, but we have not met in person and again has nothing to do with being controlling, has everything to do with being smart. I would never pay for a woman in the USA cell phone when we are just talking and have not met. My idea was to pay for her cell phone load, not give her the money to pay for it, nothing controlling about that, its to help our communication and its my idea, not hers, she has no idea I would suggest this. If after we meet and all goes well than I either keep paying for it myself or I give her the money for it, either way at that point is an option.

Awesome. Good luck on your journey!

[smore 19]

3 hours ago, RO_AH said:

At this point she is just playing along hoping that it will lead to something. But honestly she has guys there in the Philippines making $100/week willing to do more for her than you.

Well than she can have one of those guys over there making there 100/week, thanks for your comment. Willing to do more for her huh??? What are you talking about? I have not met this person, not going to go above and beyond and start sending money for anyone I have not met, maybe that is your style, its not mine. However I am suggesting that I pay for her cell load to help our communication, if you guys wanna hand over your money to people you are talking to than that is your choice, and its my choice not to. If we had met in person already than it would be totally different. Let me count how many times have I shipped money to women I have talked with in the USA, I come up with 0.

[MarJhi 963]

56 minutes ago, smore said:

 Let me count how many times have I shipped money to women I have talked with in the USA, I come up with 0.

There's a huge difference between a woman in the USA who can't pay her phone bill and a woman in the Philippines (particularly in the province) who can't afford load. One is probably just irresponsible,  the other might not know if she can afford to eat from one day to the next.

 

 

I knew a Filipina years ago, a cousin of one of my friends who married an American sailor. They married , had a kid and he moved them to San Diego. When he shipped out for most of the year, he would give his wife enough cash to pay the rent and barely enough to eat. She would let the electricity and phone service get shut off because she had no choice. It took a lot of convincing buy her cousins in the US to get her to finally leave that guy. Don't be that guy.

[smore 19]

21 minutes ago, MarJhi said:

There's a huge difference between a woman in the USA who can't pay her phone bill and a woman in the Philippines (particularly in the province) who can't afford load. One is probably just irresponsible,  the other might not know if she can afford to eat from one day to the next.

 

 

I knew a Filipina years ago, a cousin of one of my friends who married an American sailor. They married , had a kid and he moved them to San Diego. When he shipped out for most of the year, he would give his wife enough cash to pay the rent and barely enough to eat. She would let the electricity and phone service get shut off because she had no choice. It took a lot of convincing buy her cousins in the US to get her to finally leave that guy. Don't be that guy.

I get that there is a difference between women in USA and women in Philippines, and that many in Philippines have to make very tough choices and do not have the luxuries we have in USA. That is really why I made the choice to offer this instead of putting pressure on her to have to try and keep up on trying to afford to pay for the phone. I know she comes from a poor providence and from a family that works very hard to take care of one another. I admire that about her and her family.

 

I certainly am not the guy that you had described in that sailor guy, why would he do that to someone he is married to, and leave her not being able to take care of the household and herself, that was horrible of him. Every relationship I have been in I have made sure they were taken care of, the household was taken care of or together we made sure of that, perhaps I did a little to much as they took advantage of that but still that is what I did. Everyone seems to forget I have not met this woman, I am not married to this woman, Yes I have talked to this woman for a long time, and mainly its been a long time due to covid keeping us from planning things for awhile, now its just figuring out a time frame that works for both of us. But then there is the lack of communication that has dragged things on as well, we make some progress but than don't talk for a bit because her phone ran out, than we sorta have to start over with the conversation. Hoping some consistent communication will figure things out between us.

[Just Paul 4,595]

You can also send load via xoom

[RO_AH 1,659]

I met my wife when she had 3 jobs. I told her quit 2 so we could have time to communicate and I will make up the difference. That cost me about $60 USD/mo. 3 months later I was there to meet her in person. After seeing the situation I increased how much I sent. I also paid for load and internet so we have no problems communicating. We talked 2-4 hours a day most days. 12 years later we are married, she is here in US and we have two children. Yes, it's like investing money. Sometimes you lose and sometimes you win big time. I made some bad investments but I learned from all and now I hit the jackpot. I posted earlier the site I used for load. They never once failed me in over 10 years. Use them if you want. Hopefully you take to heart what I am saying because right now you seem like you have no clue about Filipina women or Filipino culture. Of course it's not something that we are raised with, but you really need to put in some effort to learn it. You learn the most by immersion. So get over there already. Do you even have a passport yet? I think I said this to you previously..Time to fish or cut bait. You have been talking/thinking, about getting serious for well over a year now.

Edited March 26, 2023 by RO_AH

[Lemonslice 4,848]

Let's say a childhood friend is visiting the next town over, and you decide to meet up for brunch.  Gasoline there and back, the meal, and then you picking up the tab at ice cream later, you've spent $50. 

 

You have probably spent more time interacting with your faraway friend than at that brunch.  What if you just sent $50 and asked her to spend it on phone usage?  Best 50$ you can spend, you will see how she does, if she gets the best plan, you will be able to keep in touch like never before - and hopefully coordinate your visit.   If things go wrong, you will save yourself the money, and heartache, of continuing to interact.  $50 too much, try with less.  I mean, your time, and not losing it, has to be worth something?

Edited March 26, 2023 by Lemonslice

[Adventine 3,196]

So... have you bought that load yet?

[RO_AH 1,659]

2 hours ago, smore said:

Willing to do more for her huh??? What are you talking about?

I am talking about her reality. If a guy (living in poverty by our standards) is interested in a girl there first thing he will do is start sending her load so they can text. He will save up a weeks pay just to take her out.

2 hours ago, smore said:

I have not met this person, not going to go above and beyond and start sending money for anyone I have not met, maybe that is your style, its not mine.

I really don't care what your style is. I am giving advice as someone who has met and currently has a successful relationship with a Filipina.

2 hours ago, smore said:

However I am suggesting that I pay for her cell load to help our communication

Should have been doing that from the start.

2 hours ago, smore said:

if you guys wanna hand over your money to people you are talking to than that is your choice, and its my choice not to.

Your choice could also be to not take baths or use deodorant. I would also advise against that if you want a successful relationship. Don't be upset if I give you advice. If you don't want to send money you should not be going for a province girl. Find a well off one from a rich family in the city. Be forewarned though. That type of girl will not give you the time of day.

2 hours ago, smore said:

If we had met in person already than it would be totally different.

Then meet.

2 hours ago, smore said:

Let me count how many times have I shipped money to women I have talked with in the USA, I come up with 0.

So you were willing to send money to girls in a 1st world country that more than likely live in standards 10x better than your girlfriend lives in. Got burned. Now you use that as your basis for not sending her money?

[RO_AH 1,659]

3 minutes ago, Adventine said:

So... have you bought that load yet?

He is still analyzing and contemplating every angle. 🤣

[Redro 4,611]

Relationships are all about risk… I agree with @Lemonslice in a way…

send her $50. See what happens and you’ll know if you should invest more time and money into this relationship 

[Lemonslice 4,848]

10 minutes ago, ROK2USA said:

Relationships are all about risk… I agree with @Lemonslice in a way…

send her $50. See what happens and you’ll know if you should invest more time and money into this relationship 

Could be a smaller amount, but, the point is... before investing any more (energy/money/heartache) in this relationship, is it worth a coffee with a friend ($10?) to trust a little... Long distance relationships are never "cheap" - we were only separated by 300 miles, and it still added/adding expenses to our relationship.  If that "little" gesture is breaking the bank, or an incredible expense, then I think OP is in for a life of misery (with trips back home once in a while, moving, immigration expenses).  He is going to always feel cheated out of his money.   Even the most frugal VJer had to up their spending by $10 eventually 

 

I am not even touching the topic of her maybe wanting to send money back home once in a while - because, he already said, they are all hard workers supporting each other.