Divorce and children

[Lemonslice 4,831]

2 minutes ago, Boiler said:

It is difficult but the Law is the Law.

I agree.  Previous posts from OP show that a few things might need to be explained by a lawyer/team of lawyers.  VJ members have been telling him for years now that a small problem would grow to be this huge mess.

[Boiler 45,443]

13 minutes ago, Lemonslice said:

I agree.  Previous posts from OP show that a few things might need to be explained by a lawyer/team of lawyers.  VJ members have been telling him for years now that a small problem would grow to be this huge mess.

We only know his side but it is not looking good.

[Rocio0010 5,579]

45 minutes ago, NoMansLand2020 said:

Nothing like this, no. But she has thrown things around when we were arguing. I was holding the baby a month and she got upset and threw a TV table tray in my direction. 

STOP. Right there. There is violence and young children involved. This should be enough to prompt you to look for the higher road for everyone. Your safety and that of your kids should be paramount.  Therefore, withdraw the I-864 and proceed with the divorce with a very good divorce attorney 

[SalishSea 17,801]

1 hour ago, TBoneTX said:

The three A's (abuse, affairs, and addiction) should be automatic rationales for divorce.  You're the victim of abuse.  Pull the I-864 immediately without notice, hire the nastiest divorce attorney available and make your custodial preferences known, and let all the chips fall where they may.

The courts won’t award custody of his stepchildren to him just because they may have worse socioeconomic futures if they return to the Philippines.

 

It is also very likely that if he pursues the path of withdrawing his support, she will be allowed to take his biological child when she departs the US as well.

[Mike E 11,739]

3 hours ago, NoMansLand2020 said:

If we do end up getting divorced, what are my legal responsibilities? If she takes off and goes back home, can she legally take all three children?

She cannot take the child that is yours without your permission. You have no standing to prevent her from taking the kids that are not yours.

 

Withdraw your I-864s for her and her two kids.

 

 

 

 

[carmel34 3,620]

OP, think of the innocent children first and try to set aside your anger and frustration with your wife.  What kind of future do you want them to have, especially your biological child?  There are lots of ways to work out a divorce and co-parent, with shared custody, living close to each other, post-divorce.  You sound like you want a divorce, but you also seem to care about the kids and want to have a relationship with them, but not with their mother.  There are ways that you can do this if you've decided to divorce your wife.  Find an attorney who has experience negotiating divorce agreements where you can co-parent your shared child.  Don't be vindictive just because you and your wife do not get along (very obvious from all of your posts).  Do what's best for the children.  It may cost you, but you said your income was $100K.  You may both have to move into separate, lower-cost housing to make it work.  Offer her a year or two of spousal support, until she can adjust and find a job, and work out an agreement for child support until your biological child is 18.  Live close to each other so that you can be a good father with shared custody of your biological child, and she may allow you to continue to have a good relationship with her other two children as well.  She can pursue a VAWA case to work out her own immigration journey.  Take the high road and you'll be happier in the long run.  Good luck, whatever you decide to do!

Edited March 22, 2023 by carmel34

[Redro 4,611]

2 hours ago, Jorgedig said:

The courts won’t award custody of his stepchildren to him just because they may have worse socioeconomic futures if they return to the Philippines.

 

It is also very likely that if he pursues the path of withdrawing his support, she will be allowed to take his biological child when she departs the US as well.

Agreed! I believe the shared child is also still very young. 

According to OP, his wife was 6 weeks pregnant at the end of May 2022. 

ETA: I would divorce but not withdraw the I-864 for anyone. Mom then has the option of staying in the US as an LPR and OP can help out the kids OR she can move back home and they can draw up a custody arrangement where their children can visit the US from time to time. 

 

Edited March 22, 2023 by ROK2USA

[Boiler 45,443]

8 minutes ago, carmel34 said:

OP, think of the innocent children first and try to set aside your anger and frustration with your wife.  What kind of future do you want them to have, especially your biological child?  There are lots of ways to work out a divorce and co-parent, with shared custody, living close to each other, post-divorce.  You sound like you want a divorce, but you also seem to care about the kids and want to have a relationship with them, but not with their mother.  There are ways that you can do this if you've decided to divorce your wife.  Find an attorney who has experience negotiating divorce agreements where you can co-parent your shared child.  Don't be vindictive just because you and your wife do not get along (very obvious from all of your posts).  Do what's best for the children.  It may cost you, but you said your income was $100K.  You may both have to move into separate, lower-cost housing to make it work.  Offer her a year or two of spousal support, until she can adjust and find a job, and work out an agreement for child support until your biological child is 18.  Live close to each other so that you can be a good father with shared custody of your biological child, and she may allow you to continue to have a good relationship with her other two children as well.  She can pursue a VAWA case to work out her own immigration journey.  Take the high road and you'll be happier in the long run.  Good luck, whatever you decide to do!

She is not authorized to work

[Mike E 11,739]

54 minutes ago, Boiler said:

said:

OP, think of the innocent children first and try to set aside your anger and frustration with your wife

The wife threw a blunt object at OP and their baby.

 

Victims earn their right to anger and frustration. OP won’t be any good to the kids maimed, killed, or jailed on  trumped up DV charge.

 

It is time for her to go home.

 

57 minutes ago, Boiler said:

She can pursue a VAWA case to work out her own immigration journey

On what basis would she have a VAWA case?

[Mike E 11,739]

3 hours ago, Jorgedig said:

she will be allowed to take his biological child

Without a U.S. passport?

[Timona 4,207]

1 hour ago, ROK2USA said:

 

 

I wouldn't help AOS her. My opinion. It will pain you more when she immediately leaves for a new flame, having helped her AOS. And judging by what OP is saying, she looks like the type to flaunt a new flame over your face. 

Edited March 22, 2023 by Timona

[RO_AH 1,659]

You had to have know that she was childish before you got married. I know "she will change" right? People don't typically change. Her and her children can go back and there is nothing that you can do to stop that and you should honestly assist in any way to make that happen. She would not be able to take your child without being given custody by the court. Good luck to you.

[Redro 4,611]

6 hours ago, NoMansLand2020 said:

They are K2. But the AOS process is individual. They have separate AOS packet. The kids do not want to go back to the Philippines. Not that I want to separate anyone, but they won't have much of a life going back to the province. 

And if they receive 2 year GC they'll have to file ROC with divorce waiver showing leaving US will be an extreme hardship...

Either file for all 3 family members OR make your peace with your wife 1.) Moving back to the Philippines with all 3 children OR 2.) Filing VAWA which might make it difficult for you to maintain a relationship with the 3 children. 

I could see her stating you were financially abusive by telling her you would pull her I-864 but allow the children to adjust through you... putting her in a position where she is unable to stay in the US legally PLUS you threaten to fight for custody of your new born baby who is probably still breastfeeding... 

 

[Boiler 45,443]

55 minutes ago, Mike E said:

On what basis would she have a VAWA case?

Just going back to the last post, there are lots of VAWA self help groups and mention of her spending a lot of time on her phone.

 

From the OPs perspective her going home would be the best option. I just do not see a win win.

[Mike E 11,739]

10 minutes ago, Boiler said:

Just going back to the last post, there are lots of VAWA self help groups and mention of her spending a lot of time on her phone.

 

From the OPs perspective her going home would be the best option. I just do not see a win win.

She’s doing a poor job of playing the long game, and VAWA costs money.