Divorce and children

[NoMansLand2020 298]

I am my ends rope here. I married my Filipina barely on year ago and the constant fighting and arguing has reached its limit with me. 

 

I know that I have my issues, but I can't deal with the constant berating, and sense of entitlement that I get from my spouse. I never met someone so childish. I know that she does help out a bit with the kids, but she's constantly in her pajamas and laying around all day long on her phone. 

 

I've sought counseling, but when I offer invitation for my wife to accompany me, she refuses and believes our issues are all mine. 

 

We have one child together and the other two are hers. Her and her children are currently in the AOS phase and haven't received their green cards yet. She keeps stating that she wants to go back to the Philippines and I clearly believe her. 

 

I have not yet adopted her kids because we had to wait one year after they got here before I could file. I was anticipating doing that this year. But of course I would need her approval. 

 

If we do end up getting divorced, what are my legal responsibilities? If she takes off and goes back home, can she legally take all three children? I've read that court systems take into account the "best interests" when it comes to deciding where to place the children. 

 

I'm currently employed and make well over 100k per year. I have my own home and the older kids are enrolled in school and have amazing friends and my family here who have accepted them as their nephew, niece, and grandchildren. 

 

My wife on the other hand, if she were to go back to the Philippines has nothing. No money, no place to live, no means of support and poor education opportunities for the kids. 

 

Since they have not yet received green cards, I understand that I can rescind my Affadavit of Support for my wife without it affecting the children. 

 

I love her kids as my own and want very much to be their father. But I can't do that with my wife around. 

Edited March 22, 2023 by NoMansLand2020

[JeanneAdil 6,489]

https://www.cbp.gov/travel/international-child-abduction-prevention-and-return-act

 

Federal law prohibits a parent from removing a child from the United States or retaining a child in another country with intent to obstruct another parent´s custodial rights (18 U.S.C. § 1204). As required by Title III of the International Child Abduction Prevention and Return Act (ICAPRA), U.S. Customs and Border Protection (CBP), in coordination with the U.S. Department of State and other federal agencies, has established a program that seeks to prevent the departure of a child from the United States when presented with a valid, enforceable court order which prohibits the child’s removal from the United States (6 U.S.C. § 241).

[Boiler 45,442]

You need to find the very best Divorce Lawyer you can.

 

NOW

 

From an Immigration perspective absolutely pull the I 864.

[Redro 4,611]

1 hour ago, NoMansLand2020 said:

I am my ends rope here. I married my Filipina barely on year ago and the constant fighting and arguing has reached its limit with me. 

 

I know that I have my issues, but I can't deal with the constant berating, and sense of entitlement that I get from my spouse. I never met someone so childish. I know that she does help out a bit with the kids, but she's constantly in her pajamas and laying around all day long on her phone. 

 

I've sought counseling, but when I offer invitation for my wife to accompany me, she refuses and believes our issues are all mine. 

 

We have one child together and the other two are hers. Her and her children are currently in the AOS phase and haven't received their green cards yet. She keeps stating that she wants to go back to the Philippines and I clearly believe her. 

 

I have not yet adopted her kids because we had to wait one year after they got here before I could file. I was anticipating doing that this year. But of course I would need her approval. 

 

If we do end up getting divorced, what are my legal responsibilities? If she takes off and goes back home, can she legally take all three children? I've read that court systems take into account the "best interests" when it comes to deciding where to place the children. 

 

I'm currently employed and make well over 100k per year. I have my own home and the older kids are enrolled in school and have amazing friends and my family here who have accepted them as their nephew, niece, and grandchildren. 

 

My wife on the other hand, if she were to go back to the Philippines has nothing. No money, no place to live, no means of support and poor education opportunities for the kids. 

 

Since they have not yet received green cards, I understand that I can rescind my Affadavit of Support for my wife without it affecting the children. 

 

I love her kids as my own and want very much to be their father. But I can't do that with my wife around. 

Are her children “follow to join” k2 applicants? I would double check but I believe if you pull your support for your wife the children WILL be impacted. It seems very odd you would want to separate a mother from her children… 

and would the children agree to staying with you in the US while their mother returns to the Philippines? 

Edited March 22, 2023 by ROK2USA

[Lemonslice 4,831]

Has there been any other violence incidents since your prior thread?

 

[NoMansLand2020 298]

12 minutes ago, ROK2USA said:

Are her children “follow to join” k2 applicants? I would double check but I believe if you pull your support for your wife the children WILL be impacted. It seems very odd you would want to separate a mother from her children… 

and would the children agree to staying with you in the US while their mother returns to the Philippines? 

They are K2. But the AOS process is individual. They have separate AOS packet. The kids do not want to go back to the Philippines. Not that I want to separate anyone, but they won't have much of a life going back to the province. 

[Timona 4,207]

She wants to go back to the Philippines, pull the I-864 and let her go. Don't even tell her. Just pull it. If you tell her, she may recoil and realize you're not bluffing and treat you like a king till she gets her GC then it all starts again. 

 

Pull the I-864. File divorce, move out so as not to be slapped with DV. 

 

[NoMansLand2020 298]

2 minutes ago, Lemonslice said:

Has there been any other violence incidents since your prior thread?

 

Nothing like this, no. But she has thrown things around when we were arguing. I was holding the baby a month and she got upset and threw a TV table tray in my direction. 

[Boiler 45,442]

The children can be included in her VAWA application. Assuming she wants to stay.

[Ontarkie 14,215]

~~Moved to Effects of Major Family Changes, from the PI regional forum. as similar threads are discussed here.~~

[Timona 4,207]

5 minutes ago, NoMansLand2020 said:

They are K2. But the AOS process is individual. They have separate AOS packet. The kids do not want to go back to the Philippines. Not that I want to separate anyone, but they won't have much of a life going back to the province. 

 

They're not your kids. Sometimes you have to take the road not treaded. 

 

If you don't pull the I-864 now and think things will change, don't be surprised when she leaves you as soon as GCs arrive. 

 

From your old post, won't be surprised if she's flaming someone and will readily leave for that person as soon as she has the GCs. I mean, she disappeared on you for a whole day at the zoo and was with "friends." Yeah, right. 

Edited March 22, 2023 by Timona

[TBoneTX 45,248]

The three A's (abuse, affairs, and addiction) should be automatic rationales for divorce.  You're the victim of abuse.  Pull the I-864 immediately without notice, hire the nastiest divorce attorney available and make your custodial preferences known, and let all the chips fall where they may.

[Boiler 45,442]

He has no say in her children, but unlikely a Court would allow her to take their child.

[Lemonslice 4,831]

15 minutes ago, Timona said:

 

They're not your kids. Sometimes you have to take the road not treaded. 

 

If you don't pull the I-864 now and think things will change, don't be surprised when she leaves you as soon as GCs arrive. 

 

From your old post, won't be surprised if she's flaming someone and will readily leave for that person as soon as she has the GCs. I mean, she disappeared on you for a whole day at the zoo and was with "friends." Yeah, right. 

Takes a special kind of person to play daddy during the most formative years of their childhood and then drop them. 

 

@Nomansland2020, how is your counselor telling you to proceed?

[Boiler 45,442]

5 minutes ago, Lemonslice said:

Takes a special kind of person to play daddy during the most formative years of their childhood and then drop them. 

 

@Nomansland2020, how is your counselor telling you to proceed?

It is difficult but the Law is the Law.