Advice with very poor significant other

[MaxP22 186]

He will not be getting approved, save your money.

 

Either visit him or meet in a 3rd country such as Dubai be where it's a lot easier for Filipinos to get a visa.

[Sarah&Facundo 595]

Hi! I wasn't too much older than you when I met my then-boyfriend-now-husband, so I totally understand your mom being nervous about the situation. It is also completely understandable her preference would lean towards him coming to the US, just so he is on her "turf" so to speak. My mom was nervous about all this as well, even though my boyfriend and I had actually met in person not online (which I can imagine my mom would have FREAKED out about!).

 

Given your boyfriend's situation, as others mentioned, it is a very, very slim chance he will get a visa to the US. If your mom is nervous, would she be willing to accompany you in going to the Philipines to meet him with you so you aren't alone? My mom ended up going to my husband's country twice and meeting his family, which was really special, despite no one speaking the same language.

Or perhaps, if you can all financially swing it, your family can pay for all of you to meet in another country (mom included if it helps) that may be easier to get a visa for?

 

The others above are 100% right in that a lawyer would be a complete waste of time and money since there is absolutely nothing they can do to help. All you do is fill out the forms, and the officer decides if he is approved or not. There is literally nothing else that can be done. Best of luck!!

 

And if you do decide to go there--don't go alone.

Edited March 22, 2023 by Sarah&Facundo

[Alex&Nayden 91]

14 hours ago, Kokoro_Minora said:

I met my boyfriend online two years ago. He is 19, about to be 20. I have just turned 19. After a long fight with my mom, I was able to convince her to to let me see him. (Whether that be him coming to the US or me going to see him.) He is incredibly poor. He does have some assets, such as family, a motorcycle, and house in his name in the Philippines, and I really do just intend to meet him for a little while. My mom strongly prefers he comes here. We scheduled an interview and it will be taking place in July of 2023. We can support him financially and sponsor his trip here (and are willing to fill out the affidavit of support) but all of this seems to be a red flag for the interview. He has no way financially to be able to come to the US on his own. I've also heard that coming to the US to see a significant other is an extreme red flag. I want to hire an immigration lawyer (not for immigration, just for the b2 visa) in order to get a better grasp on this, but at this point, in his situation, it feels pretty hopeless. We've already waited over a year for this interview. Can I get some guidance on what I or he can do, or if this is just a lost cause and he should cancel? Thank you!! 

I think you are getting yourself in a very deep situation for someone you met online (I'm assuming you haven't met him in person?). Why not go there, have a holiday, see if you are happy together? THEN, spend a few years seeing each other back and forth. You are still so young. You have time to do that. 

 

In any case, I agree with your mom. But his chances of coming to the US are almost none. If you decide to go to his country (and you've never been and never met this person in real life), please don't go alone. 

[Highmystic 234]

5 hours ago, Kokoro_Minora said:

Also, just preparing for future scenarios. Would a "no" from the embassy regarding his B2 Visa hurt his future chances of being able to immigrate to the US if we did decide that's what we wanted? Like, if we hit it off and decided to apply for a K1 fiance visa, would the previous decision be a red flag or hurt his chances at receiving one? Sorry if this is annoying, I just really want to make sure all my bases are covered. 

Another option,   you could go to the Philippines, spend time with him and his family,  get married there, and apply for a spousal visa. 

[Adventine 3,196]

1 hour ago, Alex&Nayden said:

I think you are getting yourself in a very deep situation for someone you met online (I'm assuming you haven't met him in person?). Why not go there, have a holiday, see if you are happy together? THEN, spend a few years seeing each other back and forth. You are still so young. You have time to do that. 

 

In any case, I agree with your mom. But his chances of coming to the US are almost none. If you decide to go to his country (and you've never been and never met this person in real life), please don't go alone. 

 

Seconding this, especially if OP doesn't have much experience travelling internationally by herself.

[Allaboutwaiting 2,503]

1 hour ago, Alex&Nayden said:

I think you are getting yourself in a very deep situation for someone you met online (I'm assuming you haven't met him in person?). Why not go there, have a holiday, see if you are happy together? THEN, spend a few years seeing each other back and forth. You are still so young. You have time to do that. 

 

In any case, I agree with your mom. But his chances of coming to the US are almost none. If you decide to go to his country (and you've never been and never met this person in real life), please don't go alone. 

Thanks for mentioning this. 

 

Many members of the forum have met online and it is no longer a "weird" thing, but one has to take many precautions when meeting in person, particularly someone like the OP, who is still a teenager. 

 

@Kokoro_Minora, the whole thing now might seem super romantic, dreamy, movie like, but you have to be wary, protect yourself and think in a practical way. 

 

Obviously the safest choice is him visiting but even then, having a stranger in your house? Not the best idea. And if he stayed in a hotel, who would pay? That of course, if his tourist visa application was approved.

 

As others have said, visit him, but DO NOT TRAVEL ALONE. 

Make your mum, relatives or friends go with you or join a group and meet him just for movies or coffee. And definitely do not stay with him. 

 

Or go old school and hold a lovely epistolary relationship until you're both fininancially sound and old enough to meet in person without asking your mum.

 

 

Edited March 22, 2023 by Allaboutwaiting

[Cathi 5,747]

My 24 yo son met a girl from Malaysia online that he's being talking to for two years and I am going with him on his first trip to meet her (he asked me to go). They are serious about their relationship so I am traveling with him so I can meet her parents and get to know her a little, as well. My son trusts me and he values my opinion, I also get a vacation to a country I've never been to. It's a win win. If they like each other IRL, he plans to go back again next year and spend a longer amount of time with her. If your mom doesn't want you to go alone, she can always go with you.