Looking for work... Driving me crazy!!!!!!!

[deemabrouk 0]

well the phone call when GOOD!!!.. I think that Finally did the trick... AND I got him to tell me "You were RIGHT!!"

[Nasturtium 500]

Yes!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Great! So do you think he's going to be OK with the whole process now? I mean of course he will get frustrated and so will you! but! it's a lot less when you know how things SHOULD and HAVE to go. And kudos on him saying you were right!

[ya falaha! 0]

Yes!!! Congrats! Glad he finally realized that you actually do know what you're talking about .

[mybackpages 0]

I don't agree with that statement. My husband isn't from a well to do family and has had to scrape by on occasion (so have I) but he's very calm about work or rather not being able to work right now. Whether they are poor, middle or upper class most ppl from MENA (and other parts of the world) have a distorted view on how things really are in the US. I think it's personality coming through when it comes to impatience like this.

"I was surprised to hear this but then again he's from a solid middle class family and hasn't had to work at anything to make ends meet. Im thinking that those MENA's that had to scrape to get by there...do anything to make ends meet are thinking more in lines with America dripping in gold..and they can't wait to make a "better life" for themselves."

Yhis caught my eye too. My husband comes form a poor family and is the only son, putting a great deal of pressure on him to provide for his elderly parents. In many ways this path in life has given him skills to better be prepared here.

I htink Moody is right about a lot of this being personality. Imagine if all of us mvoe to our SO's country. some of us would adjust with very littel problem while others would cry, scream or have soem kin dof meltdown regularly.

Thre is a thrid factor that influences behvior when adjusting- what kind of life are you coming here to. I see many couples who can;t file for AOS because they do not have the money. The USC doesn't make enough money and already has been living paycheck to paycheck. All of this can creat a more stress enviroment which would mean adjusting is more stressful.

[Nasturtium 500]

. The USC doesn't make enough money and already has been living paycheck to paycheck. All of this can creat a more stress enviroment which would mean adjusting is more stressful.

I know this was kind of our case. I met minimum poverty guidelines for 2 people just barely.. like by $1k. But lucky for us he came on the Cr-1 and he got a job when we came back from seeing my parents immediately. So he started earning income (as in taking home a check) within 3 weeks of being here. Basically anything was helpful, and now we're not in the "red" per se. But I understand if he hadn't have been able to come ont eh Cr-1, and if he had come on the K-3 like we filed, then I would have been in a stressful situation like many others here. Our basic motto thoughw as that he cost less sitting on my couch than he did earning money in jordan where I had to call him! (and the last ohone bills from that is coming this month! yes!)

Edited July 26, 2007 by julianna

[maggieNomar 0]

well the phone call when GOOD!!!.. I think that Finally did the trick... AND I got him to tell me "You were RIGHT!!"

Glad to hear the good news Dee.

[The_dip_sticks 0]

Dee my heart jumped with happiness when you posted the good news! I felt such a relief for you because you seemed to be so stressed over this. I hope things continue to smooth out from here on now that he has some insight on how the system works here.=0) Keep us updated!

[amrssnowangel 0]

Yhis caught my eye too. My husband comes form a poor family and is the only son, putting a great deal of pressure on him to provide for his elderly parents. In many ways this path in life has given him skills to better be prepared here.

I htink Moody is right about a lot of this being personality. Imagine if all of us mvoe to our SO's country. some of us would adjust with very littel problem while others would cry, scream or have soem kin dof meltdown regularly.

Thre is a thrid factor that influences behvior when adjusting- what kind of life are you coming here to. I see many couples who can;t file for AOS because they do not have the money. The USC doesn't make enough money and already has been living paycheck to paycheck. All of this can creat a more stress enviroment which would mean adjusting is more stressful.

I stand corrected...I do agree...its more personality...maybe I didn't word this right...Im sorry for that. AFter reading it again...i thought...wow...now THATs a generalization!! Sorry about that...you are right...personality plays the role...and MANY things make that up and play into it.

[mybackpages 0]

I stand corrected...I do agree...its more personality...maybe I didn't word this right...Im sorry for that. AFter reading it again...i thought...wow...now THATs a generalization!! Sorry about that...you are right...personality plays the role...and MANY things make that up and play into it.

no worries we all have post afterthoughts and there are some true things about generalizations that are worth talking about.

[Ahmed & Sue 0]

I laughed as I read your stories. Mine is a work-aholic at the moment and constantly tells me when he gets here he needs to find something to do right away. Well, a year ago, I purchased a second home that is a fixer upper. It needs plenty of work which I can do, if I had the time. I started it, but have not gotten far. I have had it on the market, with no luck selling it. Needless to say, we have talked and he agrees to learn how to do the things necessary to work with me to fix it up. He will be plenty busy and then some. Even though he knows nothing about carpentry, he is willing to learn. Sounds crazy, but I am hopeing this formerly unsuccessful venture will eventually pay off for both of us. Good luck ladies. Remember, this is the life they know. Ahmed thinks nothing of working 8 hours in the classroom teaching, and then going home and giving private lessons another 4 to 6 hours. Even now during his vacation, he is working the fields and then doing private lessons in the evenings. It is simply a way of life. Just go with it.

[doodlebug 3]

Wow what a long thread!!!!

Dee I feel for you hon. Usama has the dream of opening his own business too but we had a LONG talk last week about that. I told him that he is going to have to work for a company for a while first. I didn't say he cannot open his own place up but I told him that he will have to finance it himself, since my ex sucked me dry doing that very thing. I tried to explain how expensive insurance, taxes, et al are but in the end I convinced him that it is like free schooling to work for a company first. That way he'll have on the job training regarding proper business practices, how to deal with american finances, terminologies, etc. Hopefully it really did sink in that he can't just go out there cold but if not at least reading this prepared me somewhat for what I am in for.

The difference is I guess that my husband is uber independent. He wants to drive into work with me and then explore Boston on his own and then come home with me at night. I said no you need me to walk you around or you'll get lost and he said that's the fun of a big city and this way he can meet lots of people on his own. I guess I'm the one who wants to hold his hand and he's the one who wants to go on an adventure. lol.

Anyways you are in my prayers as you always have been and inchalla all will heal with time and experience.

[Nasturtium 500]

Yeah, Doodle, my husband is the same way. I'd suggest doing what I did, give him a map and run to a few places a few times using main streets.. once he can orient himself to main streets and then to your home or work, he's got it made.

[doodlebug 3]

Yeah, Doodle, my husband is the same way. I'd suggest doing what I did, give him a map and run to a few places a few times using main streets.. once he can orient himself to main streets and then to your home or work, he's got it made.

I'm getting him a mbta pass, and a map and letting him just go free. lol.

[hollyw 0]

Yeah, Doodle, my husband is the same way. I'd suggest doing what I did, give him a map and run to a few places a few times using main streets.. once he can orient himself to main streets and then to your home or work, he's got it made.

I'm getting him a mbta pass, and a map and letting him just go free. lol.

i did the same with my husband and now he knows parts of boston better than be and i've lived here my whole life . one really FANTASTIC thing that my family bought him for xmas was this Not for Tourists guide to boston... it has really great stuff in it like T stops and bus stops and ATM locations and bank locations and gas stations, grocery stores, dunkin donuts, etc... it's great! it's divided into neighborhoods so everything is easy to find

[deemabrouk 0]

I was hoping the same... but for some reason he says he doesnt like buses..... or trains.... He wants a car asap.. but I just dont know how we can swing that right now.. and as of now.. I only have one parking slot.. I do have another.. but it is where i have my "garden" and my mom bought us a patio set so we can dine outside like a nice family

my mom bought him a map when he first came here.. he hasnt look at it yet

Edited July 30, 2007 by deemabrouk