Evidence of Meeting

[Unlockable 7,314]

28 minutes ago, MonkeyDan said:

THIS!!  I am glad someone finally said something.  I keep seeing everyone push Spousal visa because it is "quicker" or "easier" or you get to work right away, etc. I don't think people should get married just because it is more convenient.  I have seen this push over and over again and honestly I do not understand it.  It may be more convenient now but I am certain the divorce rate is higher with these couples (since many of them have hardly spent any time together or lived together prior to the marriage) and although you might save money and time now, a divorce will nullify any benefit you got from speeding up the process.  

 

I say this from personal experience, about 5 years ago I met an immigrant and everyone was pushing the spousal visa because it was easier and quicker.  Even our attorney pushed it for us.  We decided to go that route and got married very quickly and that ended in a disaster, divorce, and legal fees.  I am not going to make that mistake again.  I personally think a fiance is the better route, as it gives you plenty of time to decide if you want a future with that person.

The K1 visa was never meant to be a "try things out and see" option for couples. That is why part of the evidence the couple sends is a statement that they sincerely intends to get married to each other. Nobody should be rushing into marriage. When a couple chooses a K1 they should never treat it as a way out if things don't work out. They should be in a place in their relationship to genuinely get married. So advising someone to go the spousal visa route is not advising them to rush into marriage. 
 

Also, the K1 has a 90 time limit to get married. If anything it rushes couples to get married more than the spousal visa. 

But all too often on here, we have seen couples use the K1 as a "trial period" when the beneficiary gets here. It is not what it is for.

 

10 minutes ago, W199 said:

Amen!  I think it is because "misery loves company."    My last K-1 was 20+ years ago and I don't even remember the extra steps of EAP, AP, etc... Its all in the noise and soon forgotten.  Now that I am in "bed" with my fiancee, I am in the know of so many other girls in the Philippines that are scamming their foreign bf.  Just being engaged to them for 2 more years would help flush that that, assuming you are not gullible and do not ignore the warning signs. I just had a friend go to the Philippines to meet his fiancee for the first time and to get married. But he never made it there. On his transit connection stop he called her, then, he turned back to usa based on what she said to him.  

 

But nonetheless the cr-1 is a lot better, but I think that needs to be taken very seriously and is only right for certain couples, or other special situations. So do not be paranoid to do the cr-1, but really evaluate if you are using your brain and if that makes the most sense from a relationship standpoint, an make a wise intelligent decision, not basing it on the features of the cr-1, lol

Agree with your statement. But all of that falls on the petitioner ignoring the signs and wanting to rush things. Too many people want to use the K1 as a "trial period" option. But that is probably why USCIS made the 90 period to get married. 
 

Whether you choose the K1 or the spousal visa, it should be with 100% intention to get married. If a couple is not ready, then don't do either visa, not even the K1. 
 

So it makes sense to advice the spousal visa because there are more options. If someone whats to do the K1 visa so they can have a "way out" later, then they went about this the wrong way. 

[Crazy Cat 41,802]

 

48 minutes ago, MonkeyDan said:

 I personally think a fiance is the better route, as it gives you plenty of time to decide if you want a future with that person.

Baloney, imho!  It gives you 90 days.  You should have already decided that BEFORE the person enters the US. 

Edited March 4, 2023 by Crazy Cat

[JeanneAdil 6,488]

11 minutes ago, Crazy Cat said:

 

Baloney, imho!  It gives you 90 days.  You should have already decided that BEFORE the person enters the US. 

yes,   the K1 is not a shopping cart where u get to bring the person here and send them  back if they don't fit the lifestyle

 

OP sorry this got out of hand and away from your questions 

 

u only have to show u met thru your things like boarding passes and photos of your meeting

If USCIS needs more proofs ,  they will issue a RFE (and don't worry about it -its just asking for more details and not really a big problem)

Edited March 4, 2023 by JeanneAdil

[Lemonslice 4,830]

54 minutes ago, MonkeyDan said:

THIS!!  I am glad someone finally said something.  I keep seeing everyone push Spousal visa because it is "quicker" or "easier" or you get to work right away, etc. I don't think people should get married just because it is more convenient.  I have seen this push over and over again and honestly I do not understand it.  It may be more convenient now but I am certain the divorce rate is higher with these couples (since many of them have hardly spent any time together or lived together prior to the marriage) and although you might save money and time now, a divorce will nullify any benefit you got from speeding up the process.  

 

I say this from personal experience, about 5 years ago I met an immigrant and everyone was pushing the spousal visa because it was easier and quicker.  Even our attorney pushed it for us.  We decided to go that route and got married very quickly and that ended in a disaster, divorce, and legal fees.  I am not going to make that mistake again.  I personally think a fiance is the better route, as it gives you plenty of time to decide if you want a future with that person.

 

 

 

 

How would you not have divorced with a different visa? 

Relationship issues =\= Immigration issues

 

...

 

All we are saying is, if you found the one, and plan to marry and live together in the United States, then the spousal visa has many benefits. No one has to hurry and get married, and plenty of time should be spent together, no matter the visa path you choose. 

[Vulpis 26]

30 minutes ago, Lemonslice said:

All we are saying is, if you found the one, and plan to marry and live together in the United States, then the spousal visa has many benefits. No one has to hurry and get married, and plenty of time should be spent together, no matter the visa path you choose. 

My $0.02, but even with the delays that plague the K1 visa, I still think its the superior choice for couples who are serious about getting married to each other, but have less time spent together that would pass a potentially higher burden to prove for the CR1 visa. I'm not an adjudicator, but IMHO, I'd raise more red flags looking at a CR1 filed by a couple who got married a few weeks after meeting each other (or even just a few days afterwards like my parents) versus a couple who got engaged after the said amount of time.

[Nat&Amy 623]

14 hours ago, W199 said:

During these 2 years, or so, you can video chat 2/day for hours, visit each other a few times a year .. or even meet in a neighboring country like Canada if you live near the border.   It will give you a chance to develop and deepen your relationship and get better prepare for marriage, and to flush out a bad marriage or scams that too many people end up having ... 

I have been in VisaJourney long enough to know that a LOT of K1 cases end up poorly - from the ones that are processed super fast to the ones that take years. I see three problems with your argument:

 

1. Video chatting and meeting every now and then for two years is very, very different from living together, sharing bills, problems, priorities, cultural differences, spending time with relatives you might or might not like, and other routine grievances. So, choosing a K1 to spend more time doing long distance does very little to tell you how successful married life will be with that person. 

 

2. The idea that a scammer would not be willing to wait two years to scam for a green card is wishful thinking at best. Time and again we see stories of people that do a complete 180 when they set foot in the US after YEARS of relationship, fiance visa and spousal visa alike. 

 

3. The K-1 is financially problematic, perhaps not for you, but for many that overlook the real costs of having to adjust status. It's not just the fees, but living on one income for an extended period of time, the draining of savings and the inability to get a DL or to travel abroad for a family emergency, for example. All of those can really strain a relationship - a quick search here on VJ will confirm that.

 

Sure, each person has their own priorities but there is nothing intrinsically good about a K1 visa. It does not bind you into marriage until it's issued, sure, but it does not give you any predictor of what marriage life will be like either. That's the risk one chooses to take when entering an international long-distance relationship. No marriage comes with guarantees, not even local ones, so choosing a K1 just "to be sure" you're going to last is not an option I would recommend, for the reasons I mentioned above.

[Lemonslice 4,830]

14 minutes ago, Vulpis said:

My $0.02, but even with the delays that plague the K1 visa, I still think its the superior choice for couples who are serious about getting married to each other, but have less time spent together that would pass a potentially higher burden to prove for the CR1 visa. I'm not an adjudicator, but IMHO, I'd raise more red flags looking at a CR1 filed by a couple who got married a few weeks after meeting each other (or even just a few days afterwards like my parents) versus a couple who got engaged after the said amount of time.

Counter argument would be that denied k1 are left to die, there's no appeal.  So, if you haven't spent enough time together, before filling, during the process, or else, to make it convincing enough,  you'll still be denied - but the spousal visa couple will be able to appeal (somewhat) the decision.

[Crazy Cat 41,802]

25 minutes ago, Vulpis said:

My $0.02, but even with the delays that plague the K1 visa, I still think its the superior choice for couples who are serious about getting married to each other, but have less time spent together that would pass a potentially higher burden to prove for the CR1 visa. I'm not an adjudicator, but IMHO, I'd raise more red flags looking at a CR1 filed by a couple who got married a few weeks after meeting each other (or even just a few days afterwards like my parents) versus a couple who got engaged after the said amount of time.

You are focused on the time before marriage.  The benefits of a spousal visa take place after marriage.   I have seen no evidence that engagements are looked upon more favorably than marriages.   

For the record, My wife and I met on May 12th, 2015...married on July 30th, 2015. 

Edited March 4, 2023 by Crazy Cat

[JeanneAdil 6,488]

13 minutes ago, Vulpis said:

My $0.02, but even with the delays that plague the K1 visa, I still think its the superior choice for couples who are serious about getting married to each other, but have less time spent together that would pass a potentially higher burden to prove for the CR1 visa. I'm not an adjudicator, but IMHO, I'd raise more red flags looking at a CR1 filed by a couple who got married a few weeks after meeting each other (or even just a few days afterwards like my parents) versus a couple who got engaged after the said amount of time.

Problem here is everyone wants to hurry

over and over we see;  "what's the fastest way to bring someone here"

fiancee or spouse or parent 

none of these visa petitions should be "the fastest way"

u need to understand the financial burden especially for older parents 

 

Love will not concur all when it comes to money problems or disagreement on how to raise kids 

and some will divorce even if married to another USC  -nothing is guaranteed in life

 

all of it is by choice but everyone should research the visa and expectations that go along with it 

 

but if u r not sure about marriage,  don't

if u think the K1 gives u time to decide ,  don't do it till u have decided 

there is nothing wrong with dating

And there is nothing wrong with dating several (contrary to popular belief) 

dating long distance is hard but meet as much as possible and get to know each other 

love is one thing but u need to LIKE each other 

[W199 331]

1 hour ago, Crazy Cat said:

 

Baloney, imho!  It gives you 90 days.  You should have already decided that BEFORE the person enters the US. 

You are twisting people's words and keep missing the point. There are an infinite number of different situations, simple or complex. For a simple example,  there are plenty of cases of young and vulnerable people meeting up with the foreign cuties, have amazing sex, and then are convinced and 100% certain they want to marry them, even after the first meeting,  Or even before they even met in person.  And no one wants to wait 2 years for a visa, so they want to decide "do they do the cr-1 or the k-1 now"

 

 No one is saying to use the K-1 as a trial period or as a way out. We are talking about already deciding you want to marry, and what to do next.  By blindly pushing the spousal visa on them due to the benefits, you are ignoring the facts of life and reality of a relationship.  You are effectively rushing young and foolish or infatuated people with ranging hormones into a marriage. We are saying that they should consider the realities of life and relationships, so many end up in divorce, scams, fraud, or just dissolve after all the sex is exhausted and there is nothing else to talk about.  Yet these couples in "love" and wanting to marry don't realize this and think they know everything.

 

The intelligent decision after meeting someone for the first time, and often just 1 time, is to get engaged and do the K-1 visa.  They have the full intent and desire to get married.  There is a reason why people get engaged. If there was only a 3 month wait for the K-1, like there was 20 years ago, then people could get engaged and take their time. Now people are forced to rush to a decision.  This is not about saying "I want a trial and test run". This is about using your brains and intelligence on the facts of life, that no matter how much you love or want to marry, doing a K1 may be the right approach if you only met them one time, or even not at all.  

 

It all depends on each individual couple, their culture, and so forth. 

 

The bottom line is that you are ignoring all this and just saying "the spousal visa is so much better"  No one disagrees with that. But that is effectively pushing young or fooish or many other kinds of people to rush into a marriage due the benefits of the cr-1 visa.  You should advise them to use their brains and really decide if getting married makes more sense or getting engaged.  For some cultures, meeting once and deciding makes sense to get married, but many others its doesn't work out that well despite their best and sincere intentions. 

 

You are harming and hurting people like the above example by pushing the spousal visa without consideration of the realities of life.   I have seen it many times, especially with military men overseas.  But sure, for the right mature couple, who are truly ready for marriage and want to jump start their married life, the CR-1 is the way to go.  But for others its not, but you keep pushing it.

[W199 331]

41 minutes ago, Nat&Amy said:

I have been in VisaJourney long enough to know that a LOT of K1 cases end up poorly - from the ones that are processed super fast to the ones that take years. I see three problems with your argument:

 

1. Video chatting and meeting every now and then for two years is very, very different from living together, sharing bills, problems, priorities, cultural differences, spending time with relatives you might or might not like, and other routine grievances. So, choosing a K1 to spend more time doing long distance does very little to tell you how successful married life will be with that person. 

 

2. The idea that a scammer would not be willing to wait two years to scam for a green card is wishful thinking at best. Time and again we see stories of people that do a complete 180 when they set foot in the US after YEARS of relationship, fiance visa and spousal visa alike. 

 

3. The K-1 is financially problematic, perhaps not for you, but for many that overlook the real costs of having to adjust status. It's not just the fees, but living on one income for an extended period of time, the draining of savings and the inability to get a DL or to travel abroad for a family emergency, for example. All of those can really strain a relationship - a quick search here on VJ will confirm that.

 

Sure, each person has their own priorities but there is nothing intrinsically good about a K1 visa. It does not bind you into marriage until it's issued, sure, but it does not give you any predictor of what marriage life will be like either. That's the risk one chooses to take when entering an international long-distance relationship. No marriage comes with guarantees, not even local ones, so choosing a K1 just "to be sure" you're going to last is not an option I would recommend, for the reasons I mentioned above.

I do mostly totally agree with you about your 3 points. That is why for me, I am taking as much time as I can to live with my fiancee, know her relatives, share bills, issues, family and so forth. I even renovated their house so I can comfortably live there on extended vacations with her and her family and be in the middle of "real life" with them. It is an engagement with full intent and desire to marry.  Nonetheless, an engagement is an engagment and many couples end up breaking it off. If you have been divorced before, you never want to go through that again. 

 

But the fact also is that many K-1's end up being withdrawn due to the break-up of a the relationship for many different reasons despite their initial attempt to go through with it and get married. These are the cases I'm referring to.   But otherwise, I agree, its so hard to know, but there is a lot you can do if you know what you are looking for during the engagagment.  All  I am saying is you need to consider the total circumstances and use your brain so you don't end up married and trying to get an international divorce instead of having to simply withdraw the k-1.  And every case and every couple is different.  Saying cr-1 for all of them is not being ignorant of their circumstances, and so forth.

 

 

[Crazy Cat 41,802]

6 minutes ago, W199 said:

But that is effectively pushing young or fooish or many other kinds of people to rush into a marriage due the benefits of the cr-1 visa.

Ridiculous accusation.  No one is suggesting a rush into anything.  I have said that multiple times.  If you want to waste your money and time, that is up to you.  Just don't come back here and complain about how expensive adjustment of status is, how long it takes to get driver's license, how hard it is to open a bank account, how long it takes to get authorization to work, how long it takes to be able to leave the US, how long it takes to get a Green Card, how long it takes to qualify for citizenship.  

 

12 minutes ago, W199 said:

Now people are forced to rush to a decision. 

That is just not true.  Your decision to marry should have taken place long before the person enters the US. 

 

13 minutes ago, W199 said:

You are harming and hurting people like the above example by pushing the spousal visa without consideration of the realities of life.

Ridiculous accusation.  Since when is providing FACTS harming others???????????????

 

14 minutes ago, W199 said:

But sure, for the right mature couple, who are truly ready for marriage and want to jump start their married life, the CR-1 is the way to go.

Most all the people here have already made a decision to marry and start their lives together.  Seems you think a K-1 is a try-before-you-buy plan.  I disagree 100%. 

[Crazy Cat 41,802]

1 minute ago, W199 said:

That is why for me, I am taking as much time as I can to live with my fiancee, know her relatives, share bills, issues, family and so forth.

Totally irrelevant to choosing a K-1 or CR-1.   

 

[W199 331]

5 minutes ago, Crazy Cat said:

Ridiculous accusation.  No one is suggesting a rush into anything.  I have said that multiple times.  If you want to waste your money and time, that is up to you.  Just don't come back here and complain about how expensive adjustment of status is, how long it takes to get driver's license, how hard it is to open a bank account, how long it takes to get authorization to work, how long it takes to be able to leave the US, how long it takes to get a Green Card, how long it takes to qualify for citizenship.  

 

That is just not true.  Your decision to marry should have taken place long before the person enters the US. 

 

Ridiculous accusation.  Since when is providing FACTS harming others???????????????

 

Most all the people here have already made a decision to marry and start their lives together.  Seems you think a K-1 is a try-before-you-buy plan.  I disagree 100%. 

I do understand your points, and I do not disagree with them.  But the issue I have and other people have with you pushing the CR-1 are the things are you missing and neglect. We discussed it. 

 

To use your words, stop your accusation that we are proposing using K-1 as  a "try before you buy" or as a trial people.  No one is saying that.  Read what was written, its just good logic and intelligence  rather then using emotions and hormones,.   And again don't twist this, no one is saying this applies to everyone. 

 

For many, simply considering the pros and cons of the cr-1 makes the most sense, getting married ..... But for others, it may not .. and its harming those people.

 

And sure, like the other person said, its still very difficult to impossible to know in a K-1 whether the relationship will work or not work out.  It may not help at all.  But the point is for some people it might.  As we said other people, if you have red flags, then regardless a CR-1 may be a better choice to prevent .. it all depends.    Its not as simple as saying cr-1 is better.  Its harmful to keep pushing that without suggesting they examine their decision on the LDR, and consider the fact that many K-1 are withdrawn before they approved due to cheating, fraud, etc..

 

 

[Boiler 45,439]

There are very specific circumstances where a K1 is better. 
 

Obviously there is hope that timelines will shorten but no way of knowing when that may happen 

 

With the obligations that come with marrying I can see delaying is a risk management factor for some. All a question of balance.