Advise please

[Oko Vicki 55]

Hello VJ’ers,

 

I really can’t go into details but the major point is that things were totally the opposite of everything it was supposed to be. 
I have gone through a lot in my marriage and I said enough is enough tonight. It is not my wife that is the problem but her grown up children and a particular granddaughter that lives with us. 

I left the house tonight so I wouldn’t do anything stupid; my wife’s 47yo daughter who lives with us (her 20yo daughter lives with us too and her boyfriend) was there yelling in my face and insulting me and my wife didn’t say anything. My wife’s granddaughter had been rude to me before but I let it go because I love the girl but she did it again tonight via text. 
I have told my wife my plans of getting my own place and setting it up and would love for her to move in with me and let her daughter and her boyfriend and her granddaughter have her house because I don’t want a divorce. 
I really am not sure how this will end. But I am sitting here at a Murphy’s gas station thinking of what to do. I left the house to avoid further confrontations which I know might push me to do something stupid. 

I need your advices as to what to do right now with regards to my immigration status. Are there documents I should be gathering right now while I still can or Idk, just anything I need to do on my part. We just filed out taxes jointly last week, we amended 2021 taxes to married filing jointly but we haven’t mailed it out. We were supposed to amend 2020 taxes today and mail them both together until things went crazy. 
It appears to me that my wife has chosen her family over me. What do I do? 

[TBoneTX 45,244]

Separate residence and intense marriage counseling.

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Thread is moved from the Moving to the US forum to the Effects of Major Family Changes forum.

[Lil bear 4,181]

1 hour ago, Oko Vicki said:

Hello VJ’ers,

 

I really can’t go into details but the major point is that things were totally the opposite of everything it was supposed to be. 
I have gone through a lot in my marriage and I said enough is enough tonight. It is not my wife that is the problem but her grown up children and a particular granddaughter that lives with us. 

I left the house tonight so I wouldn’t do anything stupid; my wife’s 47yo daughter who lives with us (her 20yo daughter lives with us too and her boyfriend) was there yelling in my face and insulting me and my wife didn’t say anything. My wife’s granddaughter had been rude to me before but I let it go because I love the girl but she did it again tonight via text. 
I have told my wife my plans of getting my own place and setting it up and would love for her to move in with me and let her daughter and her boyfriend and her granddaughter have her house because I don’t want a divorce. 
I really am not sure how this will end. But I am sitting here at a Murphy’s gas station thinking of what to do. I left the house to avoid further confrontations which I know might push me to do something stupid. 

I need your advices as to what to do right now with regards to my immigration status. Are there documents I should be gathering right now while I still can or Idk, just anything I need to do on my part. We just filed out taxes jointly last week, we amended 2021 taxes to married filing jointly but we haven’t mailed it out. We were supposed to amend 2020 taxes today and mail them both together until things went crazy. 
It appears to me that my wife has chosen her family over me. What do I do? 

Im sorry to hear of your situation. You were wise to get some distance from the situation in order to be able to calm yourself down. 
Can you add some info re your immigration status so we can respond best ? Not sure if your status is at risk because of a separation etc ..  

[Oko Vicki 55]

16 minutes ago, TBoneTX said:

Separate residence and intense marriage counseling.

-------

Thread is moved from the Moving to the US forum to the Effects of Major Family Changes forum.

 

17 minutes ago, TBoneTX said:

Separate residence and intense marriage counseling.

-------

Thread is moved from the Moving to the US forum to the Effects of Major Family Changes forum.

At a time in November when things were very bad between us and I was barely handing on by a thread, my wife asked me if I was depressed. I told her “baby so you know what you’ve been doing to me is bad and how you’ve been treating is wrong you’d thought I’d be depressed by now?” She did not utter a word after that. 
In early December, I suggested we go to marriage counseling but she brushed off the idea. I just need to avoid that house tonight to avoid trouble. I will talk to her again about counseling. 
Sorry for posting in the wrong forum and thanks for your contribution. 

[Oko Vicki 55]

8 minutes ago, Lil bear said:

Im sorry to hear of your situation. You were wise to get some distance from the situation in order to be able to calm yourself down. 
Can you add some info re your immigration status so we can respond best ? Not sure if your status is at risk because of a separation etc ..  

Thank you. I had no choice but to do because I was boiling really hot inside being talked to like that by wife’s daughter and my wife was sitting right there and said nothing. 
I have the 2 year green card. I came in last year July. 

[TBoneTX 45,244]

5 minutes ago, Oko Vicki said:

Sorry for posting in the wrong forum

You're fine.  

[Lil bear 4,181]

15 minutes ago, Oko Vicki said:

Thank you. I had no choice but to do because I was boiling really hot inside being talked to like that by wife’s daughter and my wife was sitting right there and said nothing. 
I have the 2 year green card. I came in last year July. 

You will need to either still be married and living together or divorcing by the time you go through Removal of Conditions .. looks like your card has an expiry date in July 2023. Separated isnt a status recognised by USCIS   Keep that in the back of your mind .. but in the immediate future, focus on seeing what the future of your relationship is and whether you will be able to work through this together or not. Divorce is not a roadblock to getting the permanent green card .. but not living together is 

[Oko Vicki 55]

21 minutes ago, Lil bear said:

You will need to either still be married and living together or divorcing by the time you go through Removal of Conditions .. looks like your card has an expiry date in July 2023. Separated isnt a status recognised by USCIS   Keep that in the back of your mind .. but in the immediate future, focus on seeing what the future of your relationship is and whether you will be able to work through this together or not. Divorce is not a roadblock to getting the permanent green card .. but not living together is 

I understand. And my green card expires July 2024.
Thank you very much. 

Edited February 12, 2023 by Oko Vicki

[Timona 4,207]

Cultural differences...what's the age difference between you two? 

[mytruelove18 608]

3 hours ago, Oko Vicki said:

Hello VJ’ers,

 

I really can’t go into details but the major point is that things were totally the opposite of everything it was supposed to be. 
I have gone through a lot in my marriage and I said enough is enough tonight. It is not my wife that is the problem but her grown up children and a particular granddaughter that lives with us. 

I left the house tonight so I wouldn’t do anything stupid; my wife’s 47yo daughter who lives with us (her 20yo daughter lives with us too and her boyfriend) was there yelling in my face and insulting me and my wife didn’t say anything. My wife’s granddaughter had been rude to me before but I let it go because I love the girl but she did it again tonight via text. 
I have told my wife my plans of getting my own place and setting it up and would love for her to move in with me and let her daughter and her boyfriend and her granddaughter have her house because I don’t want a divorce. 
I really am not sure how this will end. But I am sitting here at a Murphy’s gas station thinking of what to do. I left the house to avoid further confrontations which I know might push me to do something stupid. 

I need your advices as to what to do right now with regards to my immigration status. Are there documents I should be gathering right now while I still can or Idk, just anything I need to do on my part. We just filed out taxes jointly last week, we amended 2021 taxes to married filing jointly but we haven’t mailed it out. We were supposed to amend 2020 taxes today and mail them both together until things went crazy. 
It appears to me that my wife has chosen her family over me. What do I do? 

Keep taxes, all joint documents with both names, pictures, all documents you can show your marriage is in good faith in case you need apply with divorce waiver

[Oko Vicki 55]

14 hours ago, Timona said:

Cultural differences...what's the age difference between you two? 

Over 25 years. But that ain’t no issue for either of us. We will be fine. Update to follow below 

[Oko Vicki 55]

Folks, I turned back on the interstate and went back home. I couldn’t do it.
After I got home, we talked and shared our thoughts and concerns in a different way than before, so we both agreed to go on a short vacation to get away from all the madness. 
We’ve got to bring that romance back! 😁
Thank you all for chiming in. I appreciate it. 

[Sarge2155 4,587]

I would say that its time you put on your big boy pants. They have already made their decision on what or who they are going to stand with, things may have smoothed out for now but what happens next time. Being a step-father is tough at best but when the step-children do not respect you coupled with the wife not putting the kids in their place when they overstep their boundaries I see humongous problems ahead. You being the immigrant makes it even worst. You need to protect yourself gather all your documents for safe keeping in case you have to jet! There is a line where love ends and being a man starts, you have to retain your dignity whether you love her or not. If you do not stand up for yourself and DEMAND respect what do you think they are going to do to you? Yes my post might sound harsh but you asked for opinions this is just mine! I hope things work out for you! I was a step-father before so I know what I'm talking about!

[TBoneTX 45,244]

3 hours ago, Oko Vicki said:

Thank you all for chiming in. I appreciate it. 

Great to hear!

 

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[Ontarkie 14,214]

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