Using "Husband/Wife" in text messages

[amh123 2]

Hello,

When I submitted my I-129F, I attached 23 pages of WhatsApp chat logs spread out over the timeline of the relationship.  I didn't think much of it and didn't read through every single line until reading another forum post. My fiance is Colombian and she uses the term "husband(esposo)" as a term of endearment and her way she feels of being sweet in our texts. 

I went back and reviewed the copy I made of what I submitted in my K-1 Packet, and of the 23 pages of texts, she used "husband" 3 times and I called her "wife" once.  We also have plenty of uses of boyfriend/girlfriend in the earlier messages as well as fiance. Also are conversations where she says "marry meee" in a playful manner which in text may not come off that way. All our social medias show engaged/fiance. Bad mistake on my end, I know, that just didn't cross my mind when I was submitting the packet.

 From what I've read, this will be an issue during the interview for my fiance and this looks like i'll be denied? My question is if the interviewer will read through each line of the 23 pages of text messages and what our chances of approval are at now?  I only submitted the K-1 packet 2 months ago. Trying to decide if it's a high chance of denial because of those text messages, would it be better to pivot to CR-1 now instead of waiting 1.5 years for a rejection and then starting the CR-1 process?

 

Thanks for any advice!

[Fe.Ta 874]

5 minutes ago, amh123 said:

Hello,

When I submitted my I-129F, I attached 23 pages of WhatsApp chat logs spread out over the timeline of the relationship.  I didn't think much of it and didn't read through every single line until reading another forum post. My fiance is Colombian and she uses the term "husband(esposo)" as a term of endearment and her way she feels of being sweet in our texts. 

I went back and reviewed the copy I made of what I submitted in my K-1 Packet, and of the 23 pages of texts, she used "husband" 3 times and I called her "wife" once.  We also have plenty of uses of boyfriend/girlfriend in the earlier messages as well as fiance. Also are conversations where she says "marry meee" in a playful manner which in text may not come off that way. All our social medias show engaged/fiance. Bad mistake on my end, I know, that just didn't cross my mind when I was submitting the packet.

 From what I've read, this will be an issue during the interview for my fiance and this looks like i'll be denied? My question is if the interviewer will read through each line of the 23 pages of text messages and what our chances of approval are at now?  I only submitted the K-1 packet 2 months ago. Trying to decide if it's a high chance of denial because of those text messages, would it be better to pivot to CR-1 now instead of waiting 1.5 years for a rejection and then starting the CR-1 process?

 

Thanks for any advice!

I don't think it would be a denial at the interview if she can clearly explain it is an endearment term.  There is a 50/50 chance that she could be asked about it.  I don't think a nickname or a phrase like "marry me" would equal an immediate denial, since it is not documentation or proof that a legal marriage has taken place in either Colombia or USA.  She should just be ready to answer the question truthfully and explain.

[SalishSea 17,745]

We have seen denials for this.   Anything you do to make the USCIS/DOS staff think you may be married already greatly diminishes your chance for the K-1.

[iwannaplay54 985]

Chat logs are unnecessary and we should stop suggesting these applicants submit them

There is a chance you will be asked.  As noted above, couples have been refused for less.

[powerpuff 6,604]

Just now, iwannaplay54 said:

Chat logs are unnecessary and we should stop suggesting these applicants submit them

Couldn’t agree more. Used none of that during K1 and AOS myself. 

 

1 hour ago, amh123 said:

would it be better to pivot to CR-1 now instead of waiting 1.5 years for a rejection and then starting the CR-1 process?

I would rather do that. I wouldn’t take a chance considering I-129f are taking 15 months to process. CR1 is a much better option 

[Kanja 201]

This is just my thinking but I also believe it may depend on the context of the country. 
 

for example, in some languages in my country there is not a real word for fiancée. So it’s common for people to say the equivalent of my husband or my wife. I think the consular understands that and I’ve never heard of anyone getting denied for that (of course this is just anecdotal). Most people do speak English though as it’s the official language and with the younger generation the fiancée term is becoming more common.

 

I don’t you will have a major problem in your case as it sounds like it was just said playfully. For a long time (and even still currently a bit) the term “wifey” was a common term of endearment among the AFrican American community . Again, context matters. 

 

 

Edited December 18, 2022 by Kanja

[Cathi 5,742]

48 minutes ago, Kanja said:

This is just my thinking but I also believe it may depend on the context of the country. 
 

for example, in some languages in my country there is not a real word for fiancée. So it’s common for people to say the equivalent of my husband or my wife. I think the consular understands that and I’ve never heard of anyone getting denied for that (of course this is just anecdotal). Most people do speak English though as it’s the official language and with the younger generation the fiancée term is becoming more common.

 

I don’t you will have a major problem in your case as it sounds like it was just said playfully. For a long time (and even still currently a bit) the term “wifey” was a common term of endearment among the AFrican American community . Again, context matters. 

 

 

It would be unfair to tell them that it won't be a problem when we have seen many, many couples over the years denied for this very reason. Just because in your opinion you don't think it won't be an issue, does not make it true. I've been around for over a decade and I have personally seen people denied for this. And this is fact, not opinion.

[Kanja 201]

1 hour ago, Cathi said:

It would be unfair to tell them that it won't be a problem when we have seen many, many couples over the years denied for this very reason. Just because in your opinion you don't think it won't be an issue, does not make it true. I've been around for over a decade and I have personally seen people denied for this. And this is fact, not opinion.

How is it unfair if I am leading my response  with “i don’t think”? I didn’t say “it absolutely won’t  be a problem and you have nothing to worry about”. Many of the comments on this very forum is based on opinions and experiences. It can go either way and has in many cases. 
 

where did I ever indicate that my opinion means it’s facts, much of what’s posted on this forum is opinions and experiences (either personal or what they have heard from others). 
 

i even started my response with saying “this is just my thinking” which clearly indicates it’s based on my opinions and thoughts.

 

it’s also really weird that you didn’t reply to  someone above me that also said they don’t think it would be denial if they can explain it’s a term of endearment at the interview and that they should be ready to explain it, but chose to target my post. 

Edited December 18, 2022 by Kanja
Several typos - sorry!

[iwannaplay54 985]

3 hours ago, Kanja said:

How is it unfair if I am leading my response  with “i don’t think”? I didn’t say “it absolutely won’t  be a problem and you have nothing to worry about”. Many of the comments on this very forum is based on opinions and experiences. It can go either way and has in many cases. 
 

where did I ever indicate that my opinion means it’s facts, much of what’s posted on this forum is opinions and experiences (either personal or what they have heard from others). 
 

i even started my response with saying “this is just my thinking” which clearly indicates it’s based on my opinions and thoughts.

 

it’s also really weird that you didn’t reply to  someone above me that also said they don’t think it would be denial if they can explain it’s a term of endearment at the interview and that they should be ready to explain it, but chose to target my post. 

It’s OK your post was not wrong

 

Since 2006 I’ve seen many, many K1’s denied for “looking too married” for the most foolish of reasons.

Denied for dressing wrong (in traditional wedding clothes) at an engagement party

Denied for having other various “engagement ceremonies” especially in cultures where they are not supposed to spend time alone without first signing a marriage contract

Denied for using “husband/wife” terms of endearment

Denied for signing “contracts” to marry

 

The unfortunate couples’ only course was to go get officially married then start over and re-file for CR1 visas.

 

What’s done is done here.  Pictures (unless they are “vacation” photos) and chat logs of personal convos do not belong in a K1 app package.  Chat logs do not belong in ANY package.  The OP needs to be aware that this issue will potentially come up, prepare for it, and fully understand that Plan B, if denied for this, will be get married and start over.  

 

 

[Kanja 201]

27 minutes ago, iwannaplay54 said:

It’s OK your post was not wrong

 

Since 2006 I’ve seen many, many K1’s denied for “looking too married” for the most foolish of reasons.

Denied for dressing wrong (in traditional wedding clothes) at an engagement party

Denied for having other various “engagement ceremonies” especially in cultures where they are not supposed to spend time alone without first signing a marriage contract

Denied for using “husband/wife” terms of endearment

Denied for signing “contracts” to marry

 

The unfortunate couples’ only course was to go get officially married then start over and re-file for CR1 visas.

 

What’s done is done here.  Pictures (unless they are “vacation” photos) and chat logs of personal convos do not belong in a K1 app package.  Chat logs do not belong in ANY package.  The OP needs to be aware that this issue will potentially come up, prepare for it, and fully understand that Plan B, if denied for this, will be get married and start over.  

 

 

Great advice and thank you . 
 

 

[amh123 2]

1 hour ago, iwannaplay54 said:

It’s OK your post was not wrong

 

Since 2006 I’ve seen many, many K1’s denied for “looking too married” for the most foolish of reasons.

Denied for dressing wrong (in traditional wedding clothes) at an engagement party

Denied for having other various “engagement ceremonies” especially in cultures where they are not supposed to spend time alone without first signing a marriage contract

Denied for using “husband/wife” terms of endearment

Denied for signing “contracts” to marry

 

The unfortunate couples’ only course was to go get officially married then start over and re-file for CR1 visas.

 

What’s done is done here.  Pictures (unless they are “vacation” photos) and chat logs of personal convos do not belong in a K1 app package.  Chat logs do not belong in ANY package.  The OP needs to be aware that this issue will potentially come up, prepare for it, and fully understand that Plan B, if denied for this, will be get married and start over.  

 

 

I appreciate the response.

I understand I made the mistake of including the chat logs and am fully aware it will potentially come up. I am currently preparing for it as best as I can, I understand there is no set answer on chance of approval at this point and I appreciate all opinions on chances of success as it gives me food for thought on whether to pivot now or take a chance to wait through until the interview.

Thank You all

[Kanja 201]

6 minutes ago, amh123 said:

I appreciate the response.

I understand I made the mistake of including the chat logs and am fully aware it will potentially come up. I am currently preparing for it as best as I can, I understand there is no set answer on chance of approval at this point and I appreciate all opinions on chances of success as it gives me food for thought on whether to pivot now or take a chance to wait through until the interview.

Thank You all

Wish you the best of luck. Do let us know how it goes and which direction you decide to go. Always good to get feedback so we can advise other folks who may be in the same situation. 
 

good luck again 😊

[Mr. Ross 13]

My first wife was from Colombia and I submitted dozens of pages of chat logs using these terms of endearment -

 

it’s normal in South America to use such terms of affection even though not real -  on paper 📑 

 

using the term promatida  and promatido   is redundant here in Colombia.  If engaged you are now the esposo in Latino culture. 
 

 My first wife visa was approved no problem.  

 

 Now I’m waiting on my second K1 visa for my beautiful new wife and our chat logs contain the same words as you used -

 

mi esposa mi Esposo etc.   Relax - if your fiancée gets asked about it she will tell the immigration officer it’s a normal means of showing affection in Colombia 🇨🇴 Which it is - don’t sweat it ok -

 

I’ve been there and done that twice now 👌 

[TBoneTX 45,025]

The short answer, to summarize most posts here, is:

 

1.  Referring to a fiancé/fiancée as "husband/wife" can kill your I-129F petition at the USCIS stage or at the K-1 visa interview at the consulate.

 

2.  You might get away with it, or you might not.

 

3.  Do not -- do not EVER -- underestimate the crucial consular phase, in Bogota or anywhere.  Bluntly put, you're living on the razor's edge, and if the petition is returned or the visa is refused, you must marry, file the I-130, and start over.

[Mr. Ross 13]

In Colombia it’s a normal term of endearment but we recommend you get a letter from the Colombian government that attests to your fiancée’s single status.  
 

its called an affidavit of single status and can be easily obtained from the Colombian National Civil Registry  -   The address in Bogotá is Avenida Calle 26, #51 - 50.  - CAN 

 

This letter states your fiancé is single and free to marry - get it translated into English. 
 

Have this affidavit of single status letter ready in case you get asked about the chat logs.   Either from the service center or at the embassy interview.  
 

it overrides any playful banter and chat in your chat logs.   
 

Relax - you will be fine ok