I give up. I just give up (merged)

[Boiler 45,434]

It does seem odd, normally the roles are reversed.

 

Anyway this is in the Immigration forum so you are not really on the hook until he adjusts status and you are on the responsible for the I 864.  Not that there can not be a lot of expense and heart ache between now and then.

 

Having a Credit Card would concern me, maybe time to cut the apron strings and let him work things out himself.

 

So you have this place in Georgia, but he is not going back it seems whatever happens, so was this a longer term purchase?

[sourumeboshi 61]

Honestly I would throw the whole man away. 

I completely understand how frustrating this must have been and that you did all the mental workload for this. But this is him showing you who is is. Believe him. It's not going to get better once your married and he's in the states. 

[mamba69 40]

18 hours ago, littleminxgirl said:

We get an email today that the Police report is from the wrong agency. He needs another one... I give up...

 

Georgian fellow here, I completely understand your frustration. Basically, Georgian Government has two different agency issuing same exact document. So many people get confused to which one to bring. Easiest way to find out which one is correct is to check 'Police Records - ''Procedure of Obtaining'' on this link https://travel.state.gov/content/travel/en/us-visas/Visa-Reciprocity-and-Civil-Documents-by-Country/Georgia.html. (Hope this helps to other people who is confused) Besides this, if he listened to you, this delay would have been avoided and I would definitely suggest reconsidering to continue with the process as he has failed to listen and even acknowledge your requests. 

Edited November 16, 2022 by mamba69

[littleminxgirl 19]

On 11/16/2022 at 11:38 AM, Timona said:

What's the age difference here? 

I'm forties, he's thirties. We're both University educated, and he's getting his MBA. He's intelligent. I'm not sure what happened here.

[littleminxgirl 19]

On 11/16/2022 at 3:09 PM, mamba69 said:

Georgian fellow here, I completely understand your frustration. Basically, Georgian Government has two different agency issuing same exact document. So many people get confused to which one to bring. Easiest way to find out which one is correct is to check 'Police Records - ''Procedure of Obtaining'' on this link https://travel.state.gov/content/travel/en/us-visas/Visa-Reciprocity-and-Civil-Documents-by-Country/Georgia.html. (Hope this helps to other people who is confused) Besides this, if he listened to you, this delay would have been avoided and I would definitely suggest reconsidering to continue with the process as he has failed to listen and even acknowledge your requests. 

Thank you for that! I wish I'd done all the legwork beforehand myself! I guess it's the old adage "if you want something done right, do it yourself". 

Edited November 18, 2022 by littleminxgirl

[TBoneTX 45,229]

Having read our feedback, how are you inclined to proceed?

[littleminxgirl 19]

Thanks for letting me vent guys. It's hard talking to "outsiders" about it, because they don't really understand the whole process and how frustrating it all is. I sent him an email (easier for him to reread and pop sentences into a translator if needed). I basically said what I told you all here- I cant trust you, and I've lost respect for you. I'm not sure if there is any way to move forward.

I'm pretty sure I know where he got the idea that the police report wasn't important. His uncle let slip that he'd  brought all these types of documents to his interview and the interviewer said that they really weren't necessary. Now, his uncle immigrated over 20 years ago!!! Maybe things have changed? OMG!

Plus, I don't think that he lived long-term anywhere. I think it was more like extended vacations. (3-4 weeks)So maybe he was a bit overzealous and got reports from everywhere he's visited and that wasn't necessary for his interview waaaaay back then.

Now I understand why he was so nervous before the interview. I thought it was just nerves, but now I believe it's because I was so upset about him not having the police report. I think he realized he messed up by not pursuing it in Georgia.  I know his friend that just immigrated a bit over a year ago eviscerated him for not having everything ready. That actually makes me feel a bit better. I'm glad someone else is giving him hell over this.

 

I'm just so frustrated. Maybe it's because I'm American and we know to bring everything that is asked on a checklist. DMV, Passports, Job interviews, whatever it is, we bring what is asked. Birth certificate? Check. Drivers license? Check. Immunization record? Check. Wear two left shoes in different sizes- odd, but I'll do it if it's what's being asked. This was just such a huge interview. I'm still just in shock that he made sure he had everything, but not that! I'm just gobsmacked.

 

I'm just stepping back for a bit and trying to process my feelings. 

19 minutes ago, TBoneTX said:

Having read our feedback, how are you inclined to proceed?

I'm still processing my feelings. I really don't know at this point 

[Boiler 45,434]

There has not been any changes of note in 20 years.

[TBoneTX 45,229]

19 minutes ago, littleminxgirl said:

I'm still processing my feelings.

That's worthwhile and understandable.

 

Please consider re-reading everything suggested, slowly, and ruminating on each factor.

 

Another suggestion for you is to reflect objectively on this thought:  "If this were a local American guy, would I want to marry him?  Would I want to date him seriously?  Would I consider him to be marriage material, or would I keep looking for someone more compatible?"

 

Reminder:  No one here is trying to force you one direction or the other.

 

Do also consider the immigration factors -- once he's here, and if you marry him, you're on the hook for the I-864 if things don't work out.  This has long-term implications.

 

Hang in there, and feel free to vent your feelings and express your thoughts.

Edited November 18, 2022 by TBoneTX

[Ryan H 3,812]

Moved from Process & Procedures to Progress Reports.

[Kalehua 36]

I don’t post a lot, but I felt like I really wanted to say something here because so many people are telling you to cut your losses in one way or another.

 

You are under an immense amount of stress and pressure right now. The two of you have worked hard and waited a long time to get to this point. I know you are really frustrated and being sick did not help the situation. 

No one here is going to know or understand everything that’s going on in your situation. They don’t know the character of your fiancé or what his true intentions are. You’re the best one to have an opinion on that. 
 

What they are calling out to be  “red flags” are coming from a few words that they read on the internet about complete strangers. You, with your fiancé are the only ones that have the whole picture. 

 

I am so sorry that you guys have ran into these problems. Especially since it sounds like they could mostly have been prevented. 
 

But people aren’t perfect. People can be stubborn, know it alls, and drop the ball sometimes. I hope, with all that is good, that these were truly just mistakes that he made. He’s also under a lot of pressure and with some people that can clouds their judgment. I’m not trying to make excuses for him but rather pointing out that he’s human. Hopefully, he can and will learn from this. 
 

My fiancé and I are still learning each others differences of how we do things and figuring out how to blend them together. It can be frustrating because I’m a bit of a control freak and he is use to doing things on his own. Like on a recent trip we took, he was in charge of one thing, transportation to the hotel that was hours away. His “plan” didn’t work out and we were stranded for a bit. I was upset and kept saying in my head that I wish I had dealt with it instead of asking him to. I even said something out loud to him that indicated that I didn’t have faith in him to do it right. I really felt bad about that one. In the end, he got it figured out. 
 

Things can and will go wrong. And in those moments be emotionally and physically exhausting. 
 

I encourage you to communicate with your fiancé with as much of a clear head as possible. 
 

Edited November 21, 2022 by Kalehua

[littleminxgirl 19]

On 11/21/2022 at 11:41 AM, Kalehua said:

I don’t post a lot, but I felt like I really wanted to say something here because so many people are telling you to cut your losses in one way or another.

 

You are under an immense amount of stress and pressure right now. The two of you have worked hard and waited a long time to get to this point. I know you are really frustrated and being sick did not help the situation. 

No one here is going to know or understand everything that’s going on in your situation. They don’t know the character of your fiancé or what his true intentions are. You’re the best one to have an opinion on that. 
 

What they are calling out to be  “red flags” are coming from a few words that they read on the internet about complete strangers. You, with your fiancé are the only ones that have the whole picture. 

 

I am so sorry that you guys have ran into these problems. Especially since it sounds like they could mostly have been prevented. 
 

But people aren’t perfect. People can be stubborn, know it alls, and drop the ball sometimes. I hope, with all that is good, that these were truly just mistakes that he made. He’s also under a lot of pressure and with some people that can clouds their judgment. I’m not trying to make excuses for him but rather pointing out that he’s human. Hopefully, he can and will learn from this. 
 

My fiancé and I are still learning each others differences of how we do things and figuring out how to blend them together. It can be frustrating because I’m a bit of a control freak and he is use to doing things on his own. Like on a recent trip we took, he was in charge of one thing, transportation to the hotel that was hours away. His “plan” didn’t work out and we were stranded for a bit. I was upset and kept saying in my head that I wish I had dealt with it instead of asking him to. I even said something out loud to him that indicated that I didn’t have faith in him to do it right. I really felt bad about that one. In the end, he got it figured out. 
 

Things can and will go wrong. And in those moments be emotionally and physically exhausting. 
 

I encourage you to communicate with your fiancé with as much of a clear head as possible. 
 

Thanks for that. I'm still really upset and barely talking to him. His file still shows rejected, and I am at a loss on what to do next. He's telling me they needed my financials (Rapid visa apparently didn't send those- totally worthless company, absolutely no help at all) and that after that they'd have everything they need. But I don't even know how to find out what's really going on.  They have my financials, they have his police report, and it's been weeks with no updates. As a side note, my friend's fiancé managed to get a work visa and bypass the whole K! drama- she's a nurse in the Philippine's. She'll be here next week. Took just under a year to get her work visa processed. Seems fair eh?

[Boiler 45,434]

Probably not a work visa, not usual for a Nurse to get a work visa, more likely an EB3 Immigrant Visa.

[Lemonslice 4,830]

8 minutes ago, littleminxgirl said:

Thanks for that. I'm still really upset and barely talking to him. His file still shows rejected, and I am at a loss on what to do next. He's telling me they needed my financials (Rapid visa apparently didn't send those- totally worthless company, absolutely no help at all) and that after that they'd have everything they need. But I don't even know how to find out what's really going on.  They have my financials, they have his police report, and it's been weeks with no updates. As a side note, my friend's fiancé managed to get a work visa and bypass the whole K! drama- she's a nurse in the Philippine's. She'll be here next week. Took just under a year to get her work visa processed. Seems fair eh?

Did you reach out to the embassy to get an update? 

 

About the bolded part... Nothing is fair, but she probably submitted all the required documents.  No matter the visa, they won't issue it before all the boxes have been checked. 

[littleminxgirl 19]

4 minutes ago, Lemonslice said:

Did you reach out to the embassy to get an update? 

 

About the bolded part... Nothing is fair, but she probably submitted all the required documents.  No matter the visa, they won't issue it before all the boxes have been checked. 

Still took less than a year. He's flying over to meet her family and bring her back next week. And it is a work visa. There's a hospital in Texas that worked with her to get the visa. I kept telling my fiancé to try for a work visa since he's an engineer and there's a derth of STEM jobs right now. But he thought this would be faster . Ugh!