Strange thing about locked threads

[TracyTN 237]

Being niggly nosy is a personal attack?

Who said it was?

I thought it was an answer to the question I asked right above her post.

I don't know, I can't speak for RJ. But I wasn't saying it was. I think the niggly nosy with emote ####### contributes to the overall mean spiritedness (is that a word?) that has turned people away from VJ in droves.

If I say 'but that's just my opinion' with a after it, doesn't it make you warm and fuzzy about the sentiment? (Probably not.)

[rebeccajo 14]

Niggly nosy to make a point.

i.e. Running someone around in a circle, continually asking them to explain a position, feeling, or emotion, especially one the querant supposedly doesn't 'understand'.

Edited July 24, 2007 by rebeccajo

[Fandango 1,440]

Being niggly nosy is a personal attack?

Who said it was?

I thought it was an answer to the question I asked right above her post.

I don't know, I can't speak for RJ. But I wasn't saying it was. I think the niggly nosy with emote ####### contributes to the overall mean spiritedness (is that a word?) that has turned people away from VJ in droves.

If I say 'but that's just my opinion' with a after it, doesn't it make you warm and fuzzy about the sentiment? (Probably not.)

An emote is only as bad as you want to take it.

I think many times people have to preface things with JMO as to not offend because things can be taken the wrong way.

[TracyTN 237]

Being niggly nosy is a personal attack?

Who said it was?

I thought it was an answer to the question I asked right above her post.

I don't know, I can't speak for RJ. But I wasn't saying it was. I think the niggly nosy with emote ####### contributes to the overall mean spiritedness (is that a word?) that has turned people away from VJ in droves.

If I say 'but that's just my opinion' with a after it, doesn't it make you warm and fuzzy about the sentiment? (Probably not.)

An emote is only as bad as you want to take it.

I think many times people have to preface things with JMO as to not offend because things can be taken the wrong way.

Yep, cos again, its all about the how the receiver 'takes' the emote, and not how the sender meant it.

Chicken, egg, blah blah blah....

i.e. Running someone around in a circle, continually asking them to explain a position, feeling, or emotion, especially one the querant supposedly doesn't 'understand'.

[chri'stina 190]

LisaD I really don't think you're the right person to be preaching to others about ignoring comments from others and not reacting. You are as guilty for doing this as the next man.

This isn't a personal attack on you, just an observation

CW, I don't make personal attacks. And I certainly don't think any attacks on me should be moderated. Let em hang out for all to see!

I've been attacked in the past, and the last thing I'd do is stoop to that level...

And if I ever would (everyone's human I suppose), I would be complaining about the attack if I participated in a just-as-guilty reply.

LisaD, I didn't say you made personal attacks. I was referring to ignoring comments from others and not reacting. However, you did once accuse me of being passive agressive, which I would take as a personal attack, but that's in the past

I don't think calling someone passive aggressive is a personal attack. I don't think saying you don't like the way someone words their posts is a personal attack either.

~~~~~~

To me a personal attack is calling someone insulsting names or demeaning their character, not stating if you don't like the way they said something. If someone called me passive aggressive or defensive, I would not consider it a personal attack. If they called me an idiot or ignorant, yeah that's a personal attack.

And some people talk of baiting, well I saw baiting in H_A's thread not done by H_A, which was obviously going to get a negative response from that person. H_A shouldn't be allowed to continue their bad behavior all over the place of course, but don't bait that person either and then complain when they get mad at you. And then start saying how you can't just sit there if you are baited. Somehow I have managed to be on decent terms with many people I have had debates with, because you don't go to name calling level and stoop low. I have butted heads with H_A, and others, and have been laughed at and belittled by them. I tell them their behavior is not acceptable and report them, and do my best to ignore them because of their cycles of attacks. Why do I want to bother interacting with them on VJ when I wouldn't want to be around them in real life either. If I see them crossing TOS I'll report, but I won't say something to them about it every time, just some times.

I agree with the point Marilyn was trying to say, you don't stoop to ppl's level in real life, well at least I don't think anyone should and I don't. If someone is being a complete moron in real life, I don't act like a complete moron to get back at them. I tell them they are wrong and don't agree with them, or stand up for myself, etc and try not to talk to them anymore or something. I don't start calling them names and acting like the behavior I hate. I believe that is Marilyn's point, which is very valid.

Edited July 24, 2007 by stina&suj

[KarenCee 3]

[Captain Ewok 1,900]

I have not commented on this yet. My statement regarding the initial post is 'that we try our best'. Sometimes we will not see everything that is said and we can not read every post made everywhere so we will only spot the things that are reported to us. We are human and do our best but we can not be perfect. So please try to understand the position of us trying to make things as great as possible without the process consuming every waking hour of our free personal life outside the board -- it is not an easy job but we try .

I would remind you that I only see incidents when they are reported to me and sometimes there may be multiple things in a thread but only one of them is reported. I try to, but can not read everything that was said especially in long threads. Please be concise in reports and let me know what happened using the fewest words you can so I can focus on the job at hand -- I get 30 PM's a day so I need to cut to the meat of the situations as fast as possible). Also please know that I am not online nor the mods at any particular schedule so things may not get responded to quickly all the time .

[Ban Hammer 13,469]

A physical attack, where the police would be involved, is a little bit - ok, a LOT different - than some words on a message board. Hint, it's NOT real life. If Steven or Charles were to post that they were b!tch-slapping me while wearing speedos and riding llamas, I wouldn't consider it an attack - I'd be repulsed, but I wouldn't call it an attack.

What is and what isn't considered an attack varies from person to person. In the end though, this is JUST a message board. Anyone who feels so passionately about knowing what has happened to someone, that THEY FEEL attacked them, really needs to get a new hobby.

bad mental image

[one...two...tree 2,762]

Here's a wild idea...how about an insult forum? Anyone who goes there, knows they can be insulted, but what is said in there, stays there. Of course there would have to limitations on what kinds of insults are acceptable.

Edited July 24, 2007 by Mister Fancypants

[RaspberrySwirl 20]

Here's a wild idea...how about an insult forum? Anyone who goes there, knows they can be insulted, but what is said in there, stays there. Of course there would have to limitations on what kinds of insults are acceptable.

Man, I'm so there.

Just kidding.

I can see a few here getting kicks outta that one though.

And you KNOW the bolded part isn't going to happen. Nuh-uh.

[w¡n9Nµ7 §£@¥€r 123]

Personally I would consider it a definite problem if people like Kez, rebeccajo, dev et al., are getting pissed off because these people are the backbone of the AOS forum and others, and losing them would be a huge loss to the forum.

Yeah, but Dev is ALWAYS pissed off.

I am? Since when do you speak for me?

You weren't pissed off when you typed that... right?

[no name 1]

Personally I would consider it a definite problem if people like Kez, rebeccajo, dev et al., are getting pissed off because these people are the backbone of the AOS forum and others, and losing them would be a huge loss to the forum.

Yeah, but Dev is ALWAYS pissed off.

I am? Since when do you speak for me?

You weren't pissed off when you typed that... right?

no sir!

[w¡n9Nµ7 §£@¥€r 123]

Ok, how about now?

[no name 1]

Ok, how about now?

:lol:

[Caladan 19]

Lighten up on the mods, folks. I've modded forums before -- gaming ones, full of nutty teenagers -- and it's hard because nearly everything is a judgment call. Is that a TOS violation or someone snarkily replying? Is the post offensive or the reporter just having a bad day? The mods are also not online 24/7.

$0.02: I'm for things being handled quietly and people who report it letting it go. Posting it publicly in this crazy atmosphere just means people will end up debating whether mod was faiiiir in bannning their fwend when they have PROOF that the other person who did XYZ wasn't banned. All it leads to is burned out mods. And it would probably be good if complaints went to a general 'mod box' rather it being any one mods' responsibility. Helps the mods know what's going on.

I think it would be healthy if everyone adopted the attitude that once they've reported a TOS problem, they've successfully passed the buck. Look, we advise people whose frickin' spouses used them for a greencard to report it to ICE and move on, and not hang around for schadenfreuden details of punishment. Surely we can say 'I reported it, it's no longer my problem' and close the window if we can expect people to move on with their lives after an actual betrayal.

Using the mods to adjudicate your personal disputes is just a way to drive everyone crazy if they have to jump around saying, 'well, you called her a rude idiot, but, you know, she *was* a rude idiot, so we won't ban you.' Mean while we have the MENA troll eating the board chomp chomp chomp.

It would be great if people would report actual problems (like people advocating breaking the law or trolls or spambots) and leave the personal disputes out of it.