Strange thing about locked threads

[no name 1]

If something is repeated though, eventually I give that person a plateful of it back. After lying down for so long, it usually shocks them so perfectly they pull in their horns on the spot.

Too bad people can hide behind their screens/actions online...

[Marilyn. 340]

i think in real life we for the most part surround ourselves with people we get along with....

that is hard to do on this site that is comprised of so many different people... and we really have no control on who we hang out with...

I really think that most of us don't act the same in real life that we do here...

Edited July 24, 2007 by MarilynP

[no name 1]

ETA: Different perspectives. I don't see it as retaliation or revenge. I see it as not letting someone walk all over you.

[Marilyn. 340]

ETA: Different perspectives. I don't see it as retaliation or revenge. I see it as not letting someone walk all over you.

but sometimes that is done in the same manner that it is done to you... we need to be the bigger person and not stoop to the same level....

[Fandango 1,440]

I don't think it's 'degrading', childish' or 'vindictive' to finally hand somebody back a bowlful of the vomit they've been spewing.

But what it winds up doing is weakening a position to complain about it. Then it winds up on the mods' doorstep, and then how are they supposed to diffuse a situation if both sides are equally guilty cos they're both doing the same damned thing?

Edited July 24, 2007 by LisaD

[no name 1]

I really think that most of us don't act the same in real life that we do here...

How do you figure? How many VJers have you met IRL?

Your statement implies we hide on here. I am very much the same in person. Thing is, the other 98% of my life has nothing to do with immigration and therefore not as heated.

[TracyTN 237]

Do we REALLY have to have this same 'conversation' again? Jeez.

[rebeccajo 14]

i think in real life we for the most part surround ourselves with people we get along with....

that is hard to do on this site that is comprised of so many different people... and we really have no control on who we hang out with...

I really think that most of us don't act the same in real life that we do here...

Marilyn, the best example of a place in life where you DON'T get to pick who you are surrounded by is WORK. It's important at work to get along with others and play nice, but it's also important to be able to function at your job. If somebody is being a real butthead (to the point it affects the work environment) then honestly, I would rather try to handle it (at least one time) with the 'perpetrator' before I run off to the HR department and whine.

[Marilyn. 340]

I really think that most of us don't act the same in real life that we do here...

How do you figure? How many VJers have you met IRL?

Your statement implies we hide on here. I am very much the same in person. Thing is, the other 98% of my life has nothing to do with immigration and therefore not as heated.

i mean in reference to how we deal with situations like this.... do we let things go or do we attack back??

I wasn't implying anything about hiding etc... sorry if it was took that way...

Edited July 24, 2007 by MarilynP

[Jenn! 918]

ETA: Different perspectives. I don't see it as retaliation or revenge. I see it as not letting someone walk all over you.

but sometimes that is done in the same manner that it is done to you... we need to be the bigger person and not stoop to the same level....

Again, a difference in perspectives. While you think staying mum is preferable since you are not "stooping", I think that many people take that as a sign that their behavior is acceptable and will be tolerated. They will continue until they see otherwise.

[Marilyn. 340]

i think in real life we for the most part surround ourselves with people we get along with....

that is hard to do on this site that is comprised of so many different people... and we really have no control on who we hang out with...

I really think that most of us don't act the same in real life that we do here...

Marilyn, the best example of a place in life where you DON'T get to pick who you are surrounded by is WORK. It's important at work to get along with others and play nice, but it's also important to be able to function at your job. If somebody is being a real butthead (to the point it affects the work environment) then honestly, I would rather try to handle it (at least one time) with the 'perpetrator' before I run off to the HR department and whine.

but you could always go work somewhere else... and you also usually choose where you work....

i hate when I want to say something but I can't get my point across the way I want to

[LaL 418]

Do we REALLY have to have this same 'conversation' again? Jeez.

I was thinking the same thing. Someone posted previously that in some closed threads they were not given the time to respond. In other threads I have advocated "clearing the air" as an attempt to try to get past it. Again, works for some, not so much for others. There is an issue here, clearly, and don't doubt that the mods see it in that light and are doing our best to guide the climate to more positivity. We are awaiting some feedback in implementing some additional tools and m.o. to our modding.

[rebeccajo 14]

I don't think it's 'degrading', childish' or 'vindictive' to finally hand somebody back a bowlful of the vomit they've been spewing.

But what it winds up doing is weakening a position to complain about it. Then it winds up on the mods' doorstep, and then how are they supposed to diffuse a situation if both sides are equally guilty cos they're both doing the same damned thing?

Who needs a 'position'?

[Marilyn. 340]

ETA: Different perspectives. I don't see it as retaliation or revenge. I see it as not letting someone walk all over you.

but sometimes that is done in the same manner that it is done to you... we need to be the bigger person and not stoop to the same level....

Again, a difference in perspectives. While you think staying mum is preferable since you are not "stooping", I think that many people take that as a sign that their behavior is acceptable and will be tolerated. They will continue until they see otherwise.

I never said to just ignore it but you shouldn't stoop to their level.. it could be handled differently....

[no name 1]

Marilyn, the best example of a place in life where you DON'T get to pick who you are surrounded by is WORK. It's important at work to get along with others and play nice, but it's also important to be able to function at your job. If somebody is being a real butthead (to the point it affects the work environment) then honestly, I would rather try to handle it (at least one time) with the 'perpetrator' before I run off to the HR department and whine.

but you could always go work somewhere else... and you also usually choose where you work....

What? So if someone gets bullied at work they are supposed to turn tail & QUIT THEIR JOB???? Not in my lifetime.

One can only deal with so much attacking. It's obvious by the amount of different PMs I receive about it that I am not the only one who sees it continually be allowed to go on. Favoritism is very much in play on VJ.

Edited July 24, 2007 by devilette