Am I committing fraud?

[CVincent901 22]

1 minute ago, Lynxyonok said:

Fascinating.

 

Perhaps the real question is, how did the two of you survive a quarantine but not a (I'm assuming) separation afterwards?

 

Being in quarantine with someone has got to be the best way to learn their inner world.

 

Thus, the question may not be "what to do now" but rather "what happened" and "can we go back".

 

People don't just burn bridges if they don't have a spare one on the side. And that bridge may have just made your likelihood of being apprehended by DHS and such. For people talk.

The marriage was never healthy, but it was real. The pregnancy was unplanned (while using contraception). And, for those in the peanut gallery, I am certain that the contraception was actually used and that it was not a "baby trap".

There is no chance of reconciliation.

[Lynxyonok 316]

1 minute ago, CVincent901 said:

The marriage was never healthy, but it was real. The pregnancy was unplanned (while using contraception). And, for those in the peanut gallery, I am certain that the contraception was actually used and that it was not a "baby trap".

There is no chance of reconciliation.

I am so sorry for the fact you have found yourself in this situation.

 

I'm joining the "divorce now" and "inform IO immediately" camp.

 

Do run that DNA test though.

[CVincent901 22]

1 minute ago, OldUser said:

@CVincent901 would it be better for your child if one of their parents was jailed or fined $250K? That's a high chance considering the circumstances.

Why do you believe it's a high chance? Given that we would both suffer very bad consequences if we did move forward and get caught, what kind of specific situation do you think would make such an outcome likely?

[Crazy Cat 41,844]

6 minutes ago, CVincent901 said:

There is no chance of reconciliation.

Then, you are setting yourself up for some big headaches if you go forward with the visa.  and I'm not talking about the possible fraud.   It's on you.  I'm out.

Edited October 29, 2022 by Crazy Cat

[Lemonslice 4,836]

2 minutes ago, CVincent901 said:

Why do you believe it's a high chance? Given that we would both suffer very bad consequences if we did move forward and get caught, what kind of specific situation do you think would make such an outcome likely?

So, you're considering fraud? Just because you think you won't get caught?

[CVincent901 22]

3 minutes ago, Crazy Cat said:

Then, you are setting yourself up for some big headaches if you go forward with the visa.  It's on you.  I'm out.

This is why I am here exposing the most intimate details of my life -- to make the best decision possible. I would hope that those who have been through similarly difficult situations would have some empathy for my situation.

2 minutes ago, Lemonslice said:

So, you're considering fraud? Just because you think you won't get caught?

To be honest, yes. Doesn't mean I'm going to do it, but I am still considering all possible options.

Edited October 29, 2022 by CVincent901

[Crazy Cat 41,844]

4 minutes ago, CVincent901 said:

This is why I am here exposing the most intimate details of my life -- to make the best decision possible. I would hope that those who have been through similarly difficult situations would have some empathy for my situation.

I don't understand how her coming to the US to live solves all your problems.  In fact, I think that is going to create a lot of problems.  

[Lynxyonok 316]

 

Just now, CVincent901 said:

This is why I am here exposing the most intimate details of my life -- to make the best decision possible. I would hope that those who have been through similarly difficult situations would have some empathy for my situation.

 

We have empathy and sympathy. The fact that so many people have replied shows the level of care.

It's much easier in 2022 to scroll through funny cat pictures than to attempt to look into someone else's life with no promise of reward.

 

I come from an angle where a single mistake on a tax return came back to me 5 years later, finding me hundreds of miles away.

I come from an angle where two out of five 2021 I-129F petitions are either questioned for additional evidence or denied.

I come from an angle where no information is lost anymore, it's all there, decades later. Even your high school transcripts.

 

We live in a society where it's not whether you get captured, but when. I'm not going down the conspiracy angle further though, wrong forum.

 

You can't help your child from inside the prison bars.

[OldUser 6,639]

12 minutes ago, CVincent901 said:

Why do you believe it's a high chance? Given that we would both suffer very bad consequences if we did move forward and get caught, what kind of specific situation do you think would make such an outcome likely?

Because every year the USCIS is improving their technology. Anything ever said at the embassy, written on the forms, disclosed to CBP may be documented and stored for many years.

 

Because the USCIS is hiring more staff who will be looking through cases more thoroughly every year. Immigration became more complex and difficult compared to 20-30 years ago.

 

Because you never know who will get in charge of this country tomorrow and what their views on immigration will be.

 

Because she's likely to get at least 2-3 interviews throughout her immigration journey and you never know what she would be asked.

 

Edited October 29, 2022 by OldUser

[CVincent901 22]

4 minutes ago, Crazy Cat said:

I don't understand how her coming to the US to live solves all your problems.  In fact, I think that is going to create a lot of problems.  

I'm well aware that moving to the US won't solve my problems. I am choosing between very bad options. The only question is which is the least horrible. (Kind of like voting! Haha.)

[Lynxyonok 316]

7 minutes ago, Crazy Cat said:

I don't understand how her coming to the US to live solves all your problems.  In fact, I think that is going to create a lot of problems.  

P.S. Once she gets inside US and has an ability to acquire a local attorney, the level of this game can go from "very hard" to "impossible".

[Lynxyonok 316]

3 minutes ago, CVincent901 said:

I'm well aware that moving to the US won't solve my problems. I am choosing between very bad options. The only question is which is the least horrible. (Kind of like voting! Haha.)

I am going to assume that this is your first child. Feel free to correct.

 

I'm also going to assume that none of your friends have lived through a recent divorce. Potentially as you are young. Again, I may be wrong.

 

So, here goes.

 

Post-divorce laws in United States are severely stacked for the child and against the parents.

Child's welfare takes precedence over everything.

You're going to be limited in your job choices, in your living arrangements, etc. You wouldn't even be able to take a child out of the county or state without her consent.

(Do realize I'm oversimplifying 1,000s of legal volumes into 5 sentences, so errors and omissions are running galore right now).

 

If you think your life is tough right now, it's going to become much, much worse.

 

I am all about family. I'm all about loyalty and duty.

 

Your duty is not to give your parents a heart attack in the next few months.

 

It pains me to say this, but there are other women of child-bearing age on the planet.

[CVincent901 22]

2 minutes ago, Lynxyonok said:

I am going to assume that this is your first child. Feel free to correct.

 

I'm also going to assume that none of your friends have lived through a recent divorce. Potentially as you are young. Again, I may be wrong.

 

So, here goes.

 

Post-divorce laws in United States are severely stacked for the child and against the parents.

Child's welfare takes precedence over everything.

You're going to be limited in your job choices, in your living arrangements, etc. You wouldn't even be able to take a child out of the county or state without her consent.

(Do realize I'm oversimplifying 1,000s of legal volumes into 5 sentences, so errors and omissions are running galore right now).

 

If you think your life is tough right now, it's going to become much, much worse.

 

I am all about family. I'm all about loyalty and duty.

 

Your duty is not to give your parents a heart attack in the next few months.

 

It pains me to say this, but there are other women of child-bearing age on the planet.

Yes, first child. I am a child of divorce and know countless people who have been through awful divorces. I have talked to all of them to get as much guidance as I can throughout this whole process.

I understand the different situation in the US regarding divorce, custody, etc., but I actually see that as an advantage. I have an established life in the states, and limitations on taking my child elsewhere would actually work to my benefit, since the worst case scenario for me would be that my wife gets to the US and then manages to take my child elsewhere in the US. As long as we establish residence where I live, many of those protections would help me rather than hurt.

[Lynxyonok 316]

1 minute ago, CVincent901 said:

Yes, first child. I am a child of divorce and know countless people who have been through awful divorces. I have talked to all of them to get as much guidance as I can throughout this whole process.

I understand the different situation in the US regarding divorce, custody, etc., but I actually see that as an advantage. I have an established life in the states, and limitations on taking my child elsewhere would actually work to my benefit, since the worst case scenario for me would be that my wife gets to the US and then manages to take my child elsewhere in the US. As long as we establish residence where I live, many of those protections would help me rather than hurt.

 

It sounds like your mind had been set prior to coming to the forum.

 

Please at least talk to a lawyer.

Good luck.

[CVincent901 22]

1 minute ago, Lynxyonok said:

 

It sounds like your mind had been set prior to coming to the forum.

 

Please at least talk to a lawyer.

Good luck.

My mind is not made up at all. This thread has given me a lot to think about, and I would say I am much less likely to move forward as planned as a result of the feedback I have gotten here. And I will DEFINITELY consult a lawyer soon!

Edited October 29, 2022 by CVincent901