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homesick_american

Younger men?

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Filed: Timeline
Being single for awhile after being in long term relationship is a good thing, IMO.

Hey, it's not like I'm going to jump in the sack with the guy. He's nice, we hit it off. End of.

If either of you develop feelings for each other it will be another beginning, not an end.

Yep. Every day that goes by gets me to thinking about the state of my marriage with my husband. Basically, the guy is afraid of everything; afraid of his own damned shadow. He needs to visit a THERAPIST so he can figure out how he feels about himself and the state of our relationship. We've been in marriage counseling before and he has serious communication issues.

In the months before the move he was on the phone with his sister, his uncle, his mom...while he was at work so I wouldn't know...and even called my mother from his OFFICE to bawl to her about how SCARED he was of life in general. Basically the guy's having a damned nervous breakdown and he's never been strong anyway, but when I think about having kids with this guy and dealing with his evil mother for the rest of my life I just plain don't want to do it. I did not want to be married to a #####...I never wanted that. I thought he was just sensitive. Nope...he's a ##### and a coward. He talked to everybody EXCEPT me, so there's the 'communication issue' right there. I can be as communicative as I can be but if he's not communicative back, there's nothing I can do about that. I'm not going to tie him to a chair and pull his fingernails out to get him to talk to me because that's not how adults do things.

He lied to me about being OK with the move to the United States...he feigned enthusiasm for it for literally YEARS. He lied to me about his mother; I had felt for years that she did not like me and he lied and said she did and had told him as much, when in fact she loathed me and had been working behind the scenes for YEARS to break up our marriage. He lied to me about quitting his job; he actually took two weeks annual leave in the run up to our departure from the United Kingdom to keep up the ruse and EVEN BOUGHT HIMSELF LEAVING GIFTS AND FAKED A GOODBYE CARD FROM HIS TEAM. I woke up the morning the movers were coming and he was GONE. No note, no nothing. I had no clue where he'd gone. None. I had to call his MOTHER'S CELL PHONE to track his butt down. When I spoke to him he said he 'loved' me but was not 'in love' with me, he'd talked to a solicitor about a divorce, he had already told our solicitor to split the proceeds of our house sale 50/50 and even lied to the solicitor about my knowledge of this...he said I had agreed to it when in fact I knew nothing about it...and then had the nerve to call me the next morning, saying he'd 'made a mistake' and he'd 'changed his mind' about coming to America. So, I told him to hurry up and get his ### over to the house. I wasn't aware of the level of his deception yet. He calls an hour later and says he changed his mind AGAIN. Of course, his mother was staying at the bed and breakfast with him, since I'd told him not to bother coming home because he wasn't welcome there. So clearly, his mother heard every bit of his conversation with me and during the hour between his two calls to me had told him that if he went to America with me, she'd never speak to him again. He's terrified of his mother. I told him to get his a$$ over to the house and get his stuff the #### out of there, since I'd told the movers not to bother with it. Because of him we were 2 hours late handing the keys over to the new owners and they were FURIOUS. It was humiliating.

I had to fly back from the UK minus my husband, who was under his mother's thumb the entire two days between closing on the house and flying out of Heathrow. I couldn't contact him and he couldn't contact me. I called him the next day and the sonofab!tch was at WORK. At his DESK. Said he 'wants to want to come' to the United States.

Is it sinking in for anyone here just what kind of person my husband ACTUALLY is? Give him a chance to CHANGE? People don't change and even if he did, why the hell should I forgive him for what he did? Hell, I wish he'd just cheated on me; that would at least be NORMAL.

24 June 2007: Leaving day/flying to Dallas-Fort Worth

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Ok, we got it.

He's a loser and a momma's boy and you're trying to get back at him by dating again instead of letting things cool off a bit.

That's all fine and dandy but why do you make it sound like you need justification by posting about your date?

Go out, have fun, forget about the momma's boy. You need affirmation, you got it in this thread.

But you also got the other side of it but you don't want to read about that.

Stay safe.

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Filed: Citizen (apr) Country: Brazil
Timeline
What do you think of a 26 year-old man dating a 32 year-old woman?

why does it matter what anyone on vj thinks? do what you feel is right and damn the naysayers. :thumbs:

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USE THE REPORT BUTTON INSTEAD OF MESSAGING A MODERATOR!

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Filed: Timeline
What do you think of a 26 year-old man dating a 32 year-old woman?

why does it matter what anyone on vj thinks? do what you feel is right and damn the naysayers. :thumbs:

Yup; this is pretty much exactly what I thought would happen. :lol:

24 June 2007: Leaving day/flying to Dallas-Fort Worth

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For the most part, younger men are stupid...

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Filed: Country: Philippines
Timeline
For the most part, younger men are stupid...

Young man, there's no need to feel down.

I said, young man, pick yourself off the ground.

I said, young man, 'cause you're in a new town

There's no need to be unhappy.

Young man, there's a place you can go.

I said, young man, when you're short on your dough.

You can stay there, and I'm sure you will find

Many ways to have a good time.

It's fun to stay at the y-m-c-a.

It's fun to stay at the y-m-c-a.

They have everything for you men to enjoy,

You can hang out with all the boys ...

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Filed: AOS (pnd) Country: Morocco
Timeline
What do you think of a 26 year-old man dating a 32 year-old woman?

I don't see what the big deal would be it's only 6 years difference. My husband is 10 yrs younger than me and my father was 5 years younger than my mom.

Mary K.

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Filed: Other Timeline
............I had to fly back from the UK minus my husband.............

Um. No, you really didn't HAVE too.

HA, when you got so annoyed with me (before your return home) about my comment of 'hoping you could get your head around' the situation before you left...well that's exactly what I meant.

Personally, I couldn't have left my husband, on either continent, until I had a further understanding of what was really going on. It's not a judgment call on you - perhaps you already felt you understood. I think most people would it admit it would take them longer than two days to process such a huge turn of events.

Age difference between a man and a woman is insignificant. But a relationship between any man and woman is off to a rocky start if their is no closure of prior commitments.

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