Concerns and Trust

[Aymerlu 3]

you know what really ticks me off I know many many of these men I own a business and deal with them everyday and years ago when I was married I looked at this men like honorable god fearing men, because at that time I was in the house all I knew was cooking and cleaning and how much my husband loved me my mind was pure.

Now that I am in the business world and deal with these muslim/middle east men on a day to day basis, many of them have mistressess or drink or go to gamble and thier women have no clue. they just tell them they are out with the guys haveing coffee late night at a dinner.

My ex husband best friend is a millionair he and my ex been friends for 20 years he is married to a women from his country and he asked me to marry him in secret and he would take care of me.

I was shocked I went and told my ex husband and my ex said marry him he has money.

I could not beleive the father of my kids and the man I was married to for so many years would say that.

but now I know why they view women as objects and when they are done they are done. and move on to the next. they have no value for women it is taught if they are nice it is because you are doing or giving something try getting your way or dont benifit them and see what happens

Men are men are men. No one should think they are immune to being cheated on or having a husband that drinks and goes out just because he is from the Middle East. I have heard this misconception here on VJ many many times. They think arab men are just the most gentle creatures in the world that would never cheat on their wifes, get drunk, or go out all night with friends. Men like this exist everywhere in the world, it has nothing to do with where they are from or what religion they are a part of.

My mom has a saying about arabic men, she says arab men are lions, and you can't turn a lion into a house cat. This is very true. They all have a lion in them that will eventually come out if it has not already.

Well said! And really, I think many men have that lion in them that may come out. No one is immune from anything regardless of where their man is from.

[allousa 1]

all of it happens here but we are not muslims here this is a muslim country that expects there women to be pure and they behaive like that.

we dont expect our women to be pure

You obviously haven't been to the Deep South Southern Bible belt then, have you?

[ya falaha! 0]

Hahahaha the Arab guys here at the nightclubs look like "Night at the Roxbury" guys.

Hey all of you go to UTUBE AND TYPE IN ARAB GIRLS AND DANCE CLUBS

YOU will see live video of thier disco's and you will see it is men acting like pigs and women parading around like sexual objects.

Funny...I don't have to type in "Arab Girls" to see this...I can just go to one of the local clubs or bars in my own city!!!!

And ya know, I wouldn't go to a club or disco WITH my husband, let alone without him. Anyone that says they go clubbing because they just like to dance....pleeeezzeeee!

[allousa 1]

I could use a DUBIE right now.

I just had a DUBIE

But did you inhale!!!!!! :lol:

I thought that was incense that I smelled!!!!

[Nasturtium 500]

There are many parts of Jordan that are modern, go to Abdoun and Swefieyeh. It's not the same or even close to where most of the Jordanian husbands on VJ are from.

I think from the POV of a SO of a Jordanian (in this case, although really from any country), it's just important to know the difference JP mentioned and know where your SO comes from. I know it took me a few weeks (PLUS!!!!) to realize the difference between a small village/tribal culture AND seperate what is village specific versus "general arab advice." Advice to a SO of a UAE guy isn't going to work for advice in my situation. Yeah, there is "culture" groups have in common... but... it's not a one to one. It's like giving advice for "western" people from an American culture POV about a German. Will it work all the time? No. Good lord it's like giving advice for someone from a small American town from a NYC POV. It's not standard. There are more similarities than differences in many cases (although not all), but you have to consider their origin.

I remember my friend once told me "We Egyptians just don't understand those tribal Arabs. They're totally different." And I know my husband has commented on how such-and-such tribe is totally bizarre for whatever reason. So it's definately something to consider.

And as an aside... yes, I think you have to consider and come to terms with the idea you will never (or it will take you FOREVER if a miracle occurs and you get in) be part of the "in" crowd. Right now in my husband's village there is a "foreign" woman (as they call her), a Romanian Doctor who married one of my husband's cousins. They have 2 grown children. She has lived there since 1982. Note, she is still considered foreign even though she is fluent in Arabic and has children by my husband's cousin. Her children are not considered foreign.. just her. You have to think about if you could live with this status as well. In every way she is treated like one of their regular wives with the same status.. but she is never on the inside. I asked my husband when or if she'll ever make it and he simply said "Never. She is Muslim now, she is part of the tribe by marriage. She would be defended from the outside but inside, she will never be an Al-XXXXXXXX. If he divorced her, she would be expected to go home. And home is not [our village]."

As JP mentioned though, this is village outlook and it is not indicitive of all Jordanians, Shamis, or Arabs.

[♥JP♥ 5]

By the way, there ARE gay nightclubs in the Middle East.

[mybackpages 0]

I'm jealous!!

I've never been to a village.

I've never even seen a movie with a village in it.

Does the village in NYC count?

I don't know if its the dubie or the adavan , but your wit is right on target!

[MrsAmera 41]

I just feel that there are so many generalizations going on here and that is just not fair. It's like saying all American women are whores and will have sex with whoever offers it (which is the opinion of many non-Americans). My husband really doesn't believe that anyone here is a virgin when they get married. I think that we better not think so highly of ourselves because there are PLENTY of faults in Americans too.

[allousa 1]

Y'all may not believe this but I've never smoked a dubie in my life. I have had a contact buzz though.

hmmmm

very dubious!!!!

:lol: very dubie-ous, indeed!!!!! :lol:

[Aymerlu 3]

Oh, and the whole "hymen reconstruction" post...I have been married to my husband for 6 1/2 years now and have come to know his family very well and his friends and I have NEVER heard this mentioned before.

This actually does happen quite a bit in Egypt. My SIL is an OB/GYN and does many of these proceedures mainly she says because the woman has lied to her future husband about being a virgin. She said she had not done any of these proceedures to woman that have been divorced though. I just got done talking to her online and got this info first hand from her.

I just feel that there are so many generalizations going on here and that is just not fair. It's like saying all American women are whores and will have sex with whoever offers it (which is the opinion of many non-Americans). My husband really doesn't believe that anyone here is a virgin when they get married. I think that we better not think so highly of ourselves because there are PLENTY of faults in Americans too.

[allousa 1]

Hahahaha the Arab guys here at the nightclubs look like "Night at the Roxbury" guys.

Hey all of you go to UTUBE AND TYPE IN ARAB GIRLS AND DANCE CLUBS

YOU will see live video of thier disco's and you will see it is men acting like pigs and women parading around like sexual objects.

Funny...I don't have to type in "Arab Girls" to see this...I can just go to one of the local clubs or bars in my own city!!!!

And ya know, I wouldn't go to a club or disco WITH my husband, let alone without him. Anyone that says they go clubbing because they just like to dance....pleeeezzeeee!

OMG!!!!! PLEASE tell me they don't have the shiny shirts....I might just pee on myself from laughing if you do!

[mybackpages 0]

Is must be very easy living in a world where everything is black or white. Grey just muddles the picture and makes your brain hurt from all the thinking.

[ya falaha! 0]

Yep, my husband has told me the same thing. He told me a story of a girl in his town that did that. Not sure if it's true or not. Who knows with the way gossip goes around there.

Oh, and the whole "hymen reconstruction" post...I have been married to my husband for 6 1/2 years now and have come to know his family very well and his friends and I have NEVER heard this mentioned before.

This actually does happen quite a bit in Egypt. My SIL is an OB/GYN and does many of these proceedures mainly she says because the woman has lied to her future husband about being a virgin. She said she had not done any of these proceedures to woman that have been divorced though. I just got done talking to her online and got this info first hand from her.

I just feel that there are so many generalizations going on here and that is just not fair. It's like saying all American women are whores and will have sex with whoever offers it (which is the opinion of many non-Americans). My husband really doesn't believe that anyone here is a virgin when they get married. I think that we better not think so highly of ourselves because there are PLENTY of faults in Americans too.

[tnh9479 1]

I could use a DUBIE right now.

well based on what I have been reading, there certainly seems to be some going around.

I was thinking the same.

Does anyone have a count on how many stereotypes have been tossed around?

[~Jackie~ 30]

dubious cannabilist

Jackie