Keeping Sane?!

[Jeraly 4]

I'm a big worrier and I am sure I am not the only one!

Going through such a long-winded and stressful process takes its toll on most people. Luckily with this forum we can at least realise we are not alone in this

But sometimes when things get too much there must be some way people find to cope with being apart, going through so much red tape and the endless waiting that comes with long distance relationships. So how do you cope?

To start, my OH and I have a website and I am currently trying to keep that as up to date with the visa process as I can - at least by doing that I feel like I am at least putting something into the whole process and it makes me feel a little better!

Anyone else want to share?

[nane1104 146]

Patience is a virtue, and I mean it!!! IF you don't have any patience, you will have a hard time. Sometimes things will move fast, sometimes it seems like NOTHING happens, but eventually you will hear something.

You just sent your petition in...I think I can say you can expect your NOA1 in about 10-14 days, then it will take a while. Check your staus online, but don't get nuts if nothing will happen for a while.

Once your petition is approved and gets to the NVC, tings move faster- they forward everything to your fince(e)s homecountry and from then on, you have some influence on how fast things happen, depending on how fast you complet your parts to get ready or the interview....

Good luck to you guys! Posting here and see how other couples do, helped me a whole lot, speciall if I had questions or was unsure about things.

My fiance was veeery relaxed during the whole process while I pretty much did all the work and had all the "excitement" and once I had my visa, he said" I told you not to worry so much" and yepp, he was right. (He later on admitted though that he wasn't aware how much work and time I had to put into everything, though I admit, I was driving myself nuts over nothing sometimes).

So if you can...don't drive yourself nuts, you want to end up at the altar one day (or the JOP or wherever) and not in a hospital, having a heartattack!!

Edited July 19, 2007 by nane1104

[Jeraly 4]

I know! And I am so not patient! But somehow I have managed ok so far - I just hate feeling like I can do nothing... which obviously at the moment we can't!

It's comforting being here and seeing those who have had speedy visa journeys And thank you for the wishes - we are keeping them close to our hearts at the moment!

[L_n_O 3]

i go see a psychotherapist =)

[Jeraly 4]

Lol! That sounds like a great idea - I was thinking more along the lines of hypnotherapy!! Although when OH comes out here in three weeks I am *definitely* going to get a back massage

[~Nini~ 2]

I laughed when I saw this thread.

I go to school and work a lot, while he works two jobs, so for the most part we keep busy through those things. I keep in touch with my fiance every day, whether it's through phone calls, text messages, or Skype. When we first mailed our petition in, we would drive each other crazy with questions. Now that we're close to the end of the road, we're just going insane - he's coming for the interview, and we're both excited at the thought of seeing each other and extremely nervous for the interview.

I have to admit, we've had a few small tiffs over this process.

[doug & angel 0]

Lots and lots of time on skype http://www.skype.com

[Jeraly 4]

I laughed when I saw this thread.

I go to school and work a lot, while he works two jobs, so for the most part we keep busy through those things. I keep in touch with my fiance every day, whether it's through phone calls, text messages, or Skype. When we first mailed our petition in, we would drive each other crazy with questions. Now that we're close to the end of the road, we're just going insane - he's coming for the interview, and we're both excited at the thought of seeing each other and extremely nervous for the interview.

I have to admit, we've had a few small tiffs over this process.

Yeah - my problem is I just finished university and am still looking for a job so am not busy enough to stop myself from going totally crazy!! Hopefully when I get a job things will get a bit easier! Or at least I'll be more distracted

Good luck for the interview!!! So close - you must be so excited as well as nervous! And I hear you with the small tiffs

[Lona.C. 16]

well just think of it to be fortunate and not be in mine or Liz or any other montreal filers shoes we have to go trough Montreal , the waite for interview here is min 5-7 month ,and real sad part is I live aprox 20 min ride from the embassy there and still have to waite the stupid frustrading rediculess obnougiouse nerveracking and and and timetable for interview in montreal ,

the thing that keeps me goin is I think of it like that ,

"Lona wake da hell up life is good your man loves you , things good be worst he aint in prison and we got food and a roof over our heads we are not in war "

well I could go on and on about negative stuff to keep me goin positive , but hey all there is realy to say is,

" SAY HELL YEAHHHHH AM LUCKY I DONT HAVE TO GO TROUGH MONTREAL "

LOL

[ItsOver 0]

I bought her a computer, webcam, and headset. It has made a big difference for me with regular visits online.

[yassmine2878 1]

Be creative. Im a craft nut and I used to make stuff for Ahmed before he got here. I sent him homemade candies, knitted him a scarf and hat, made him a t-shirt for Christmas, etc. It gets weary when all you can do is see each other over the net every night and rack up a long-distance phone bill. Try watching a movie together on the net, or maybe looking at furnishings for you house once you're together, etc. Its going to get hard and there'll be days that you want to give up and die, but just try to keep it creative and remember the wait is worth the prize

[paulinespens 3]

Hey

Me and Jen used to do video dates. This consisted of us watching a tv show together on youtube.com or a bunch of videos. We would have mics on yahoo messenger and be watching videos same time with same sync.

Yahoo games we used to play pool together and various games on yahoo messenger.

Forget about the visa process. My mum be asking me all time any news any news. No mother I wanna forget about it. Least you think about it the quicker it will happen.

Go see fiancee during process. I did and the case got worked on when I was state side.

Make plans discuss the wedding what wedding rings you want.

Webcams and mics keep you interactive with each other.

Send each other love packages cards in post.

Good luck

Robert

[TimsDaisy 0]

You just will be a little crazy for awhile. Then it will get better. Then you'll be crazy again. Then you'll be together and it will be fine. You need to let yourself feel sad and stressed, just don't let those emotions prevent you from leading your daily life. If you have the time and money to visit during the process - do so!

best of luck.

[carslo 0]

Hi there,

Well, I went back to school to earn my B/A, I work full-time, volunteer with Girl Guides (Girl Scouts), and we play lots of cards on line together first pinochle and now we are learning bridge. Cards help pass the time and keep yor minds sharp.

Carlso

[Cassandra+Yuibi 0]

we use the webcam to talk- it makes it a lot easier to at least be able to see eachother. i work full time so when i'm at work i don't have much time to be upset- but it hits me hard as soon as i'm not busy anymore. I try to keep my spirits up by thinking of it this way. Once we get his VISA, we won't have to be apart like this again. :] And to be with someone so special for the rest of your life is worth waiting a few months.

I also buy things (usually for him) to comfort myself.... Which is probably not the best idea...