advice needed on divorce matter

[gemini23nj 2]

Indeed - therefore he thinks that he has control over her by seizing her green card, which I would call intent to intimidate if nothing else.

I knew someone in the same exact situation. The jealous boyfriend took his girfriends GC and the police arrested him, threw him in jail. It is very serious.

[diadromous mermaid 36]

Indeed - therefore he thinks that he has control over her by seizing her green card, which I would call intent to intimidate if nothing else.

I knew someone in the same exact situation. The jealous boyfriend took his girfriends GC and the police arrested him, threw him in jail. It is very serious.

While I don't doubt that it was a very unwise move on the part of the boyfriend, I don't know what criminal consequences could ensue, I'd guess it would depend on the circumstances and if it were determined that he intended to market the green card or use it to secure benefit. In the marital context, the lines become a little less defined due to the intimate relationship of the parties and their respective duties to one another. Agreed an alien should carry the PR card at all times, but I could foresee difficulty in proving that it was stolen with a spouse. It would simplify the situation if the OP were to get a replacement right away. Divorce is an expensive event in most cases. I guess whatever cost is incurred in replacing it should be considered yet one more aggravation and cost that goes along with it. Besides, nothing better than removing the clout his purported "trump" card was to intended to have

[dmartmar 1]

I knew someone in the same exact situation. The jealous boyfriend took his girfriend's GC and the police arrested him, threw him in jail. It is very serious.

No one gets arrested and thrown in jail just for stealing a GC.

There has to be more to this story.

[Kez/JWolf 6]

Well as it costs $260 and takes 3 - 6 months to get a replacement I would be going to the police to try to get the original back.... he has no right to withhold it from her....

Kezzie

[almaty 19]

I knew someone in the same exact situation. The jealous boyfriend took his girfriend's GC and the police arrested him, threw him in jail. It is very serious.

No one gets arrested and thrown in jail just for stealing a GC.

There has to be more to this story.

i agree

[flipside 0]

"friend"

right...

[dmartmar 1]

Well, as it costs $260 and takes 3 - 6 months to get a replacement, I would be going to the police instead and try to get the original back.... he has no right to withhold it from her....

Kezzie

So basically, the GC to you is more important than the husband's well-being.

[joej 0]

Well as it costs $260 and takes 3 - 6 months to get a replacement I would be going to the police to try to get the original back.... he has no right to withhold it from her....

Kezzie

I'm with ya on this one. Even though he may feel entitled to take her GC, it is not his to take. It just goes to show that the attitude of "entitlement" may be what has driven the divorce all along.

Sorry for my spelling. I haven't figured out the spell check on the new version yet.

[MichelleandCraig 1]

I don't know anything about this story, but on the GC thing...I totally agree with Kezzie. Who gives a flying flip about his well being if he obviously didn't care about hers???I mean, there wouldn't even BE a situtation if he wasn't withholding the card, and she could always say something like: look, I don't want to get the police involved in this, but I aim to get that card back, which is MY property, by whatever means necessary. If this man is forewarned and still doesn't give up the card, I don't think he would have anyone to blame but himself. He may have helped her get it, but why should she have to waste time and (always!) more money to get a replacement due to a hissy fit???? Not in my opinion!!!! M.

[giddy34 0]

Id get a post office box or postal box and get a new green card sent there and not tell him you have a new one.. Dont be controlled by him ..Then fiure out way of fixing things up if you can hes got some serious issues going on there if he thinks he needs to control you isnt that spousal abuse... Indirectly

[Fischkoepfin 1]

So basically, the GC to you is more important than the husband's well-being.

Well, according to the OP the husband is the one who has changed so much that she feels uncomfortable in the relationship and wants out of it. He is also the one who confiscated her greencard which she is required to carry by law, meaning he's using her immigration status to keep her dependent on him. So why would anyone care about the husband's well-being in this situation???

I'd ask him to surrender the card, and if he refuses I would report the card as stolen rather than lost. The police might not do anything because of their "intimate" relationship, but it might be good to have it on record for later.

[ivona 0]

I won`t pretend to know the story...the truth is we don`t, we don`t know why the OP changed so significantly after three years of marriage, or how she changed in those three years respectfully...

however, when a spouse blackmails the other to do something they do not wish to do...or to prevent them from doing something they wish to do- that is abuse, plain and simple....

it doesn`t matter if it`s a GC or something else, he is holding a knife ready to fall over someone he loved at one time in the past (I do not believe he still loves her if he is capable of doing something like this) and that qualifies abuse...

and it doesn`t matter rats behind that "she got her GC because of her husband"

I, for one, take that as an insult.... I am not going through this process for the GC, but to build a life with my husband for better or worse, and everything else that goes with it....I do not care if that was US or Timbuktu, just as long as we are together....

at the same time, I am giving up absolutely everything to move to be with him and that is not an easy decision to make....

for anyone to say that I should be somehow more grateful to my husband because of the GC, then he is for me choosing to move for us to have a chance is absurd....and I do not believe love is about measuring who is giving what and what the other is obliged to give in return

[Satisfaction 1]

You can report your Greencard lost or stolen with the police, and then request a replacement with USCIS. You have to fill in Form I-90 ("Application to Replace Permanent Resident card") and mail it to USCIS, with a $190 base fee. Here is the link: http://uscis.gov/graphics/formsfee/forms/i-90.htm

I think that 3 to 6 months is an unrealistic delay to obtain a new card; I lost my GC in 2002 and it took USCIS 14 months to send me a new one!!! In the meantime, I used I-551 stamp on my passport to travel in and out of the US.

To remain a PR, I believe that one must reside in the US at least 6 months within the year. There are certain exceptions to this rule, but I am unsure whether they apply to you or not. You should inquire with an immigration specialist or USCIS.

[dmartmar 1]

I do agree with the fact that he doesn't have any right, nor entitlement to take away her GC, much less keep it. That much is true.

But one thing is to suggest getting the police involved so she can get her GC back and nothing more, while another thing is to suggest getting the police involved to get the husband purposely in trouble with the law, as a way for revenge. The police would only get involved if the wife called, claiming abuse. I truly doubt that saying something along the lines of "I feel abused b/c my husband took away my GC and now refuses to give it back to me" would actually be considered a form of abuse. But if she was to say or add something like "I'm afraid of my husband b/c he continously abuses me, both physically and verbally" instead, it'd be a whole different story.

As I've stated on my previous posts in this same thread, just calling the USCIS, reporting the card as stolen or lost and requesting a replacement is a much better and more viable solution to this dilemma, as opposed to getting the police involved, mainly out of spite, revenge and selfishness. Why not prevent making matters worse or further escalating them, if a more peaceful and less harmful option benefitting both parties is available?

In no way is her well-being, nor her status affected by not having the GC in hand. Her worry of how not having the GC in hand could affect her well-being or legal status is more of a reason to contact the USCIS and ask for a replacement. But since the GC has already been granted and approved, she shouldn't have anything to worry about anyway.

Had it not been for the love, kind heart and grace the husband had for his wife when he filed for her AOS, taking on the full responsibility an I-864 confers and being the sole provider for both his wife and their household before her EAD was granted, all throughout the AOS process and up to this day, she wouldn't even have a GC to begin with. For this reason only she should be grateful, not hateful, nor vengeful.

If she waited who knows how many months to get her GC and it was the husband who paid for it; why would you even suggest that it would be much easier, faster and cheaper for her to get her GC back if she called the police on her husband? Since it is now HER card, which she got through HIM, she, you, nor any other immigrant should have a problem with being the ones paying for a new card.

Are you telling me that if you were the one in this situation, rather than just go your own separate ways amicably and peacefully, you would instead purposely get your husband in trouble over the GC, even though it was him who helped you get and paid for it in the first place? Was to just get a GC the only reason why you married him in the first place? Sure seems so to me, and this goes for every other person advising the OP's friend to get the police involved as well.

In times of war, I sure wouldn't like to have anyone of yous in my foxhole.

[MichelleandCraig 1]

dmarter..>I don't claim to know what the others in this thread meant by what they wrote, but I do know what *I* meant, so here it is:

I never intended to imply that she should try to get her husband in any 'trouble' at all over this. To me, she should tell her husband that she does intend to get the police involved ONLY to get her GC back as it IS HER property if he doesn't willingly give it back. If he doesn't, I think she should go ahead and do that.

Let me ask you this: why should she wait months for a replacement(which it almost certainly would be) AND spend nearly 200.00??? That's not a minor inconvenience in my book; it's absolutely ridiculous that she should have to do any of that because he's having a hissy! Anyway..my 47 cents. I'm goin' to bed. M.

PS edited to say: since the OP hasn't been back for a couple of weeks, this may all be moot anyway. It may very well have been resolved one way or another by now; hopefully with as little conflict as possible. M.

Edited April 20, 2006 by MichelleandCraig