Advise On Traveling To Philippines

[MarJhi 964]

5 hours ago, smore said:

Good question. But also difficult to answer. Have known here for 2 1/2 years now, the pandemic obviously halted any plans to meet sooner, plus she was working overseas. However I say difficult because I just do not know. Our communication has I guess not been consistent and often, she was an OFW up until Nov of last year so I guess communication was difficult according to her due to working long hours for a hong kong family and rules and such about phones while working and even in the house. I have no idea if that is the truth or not as difficult cultures are different than here in the USA where our phones are attached to our ears, hips, pockets and we could care less if we are at work or where we are, we are on our phones all the time and have them near by ready to communicate, even in front of the boss, we just seem entitled to be connected to our phones.

 

We have talked via the phone, not alot, but some and when we do its for 4-5 hours, but mainly seems to be via whatapp with messages, often times just quick messages, there obliviously is a time difference my morning is her night. But the communication is no to consistent, days, maybe week, maybe even 2 had gone by without response. Not the greatest way to form and keep a connection with one another going, hence why I say difficult to answer your question. I see and hear about other overseas relationships and they are talking all the time, guess I want that also, want someone to be in my life even know for now its at a distance. Now that she is back in the philippines she had said we would be talking more but its just not happened, maybe a little bit more consistent, but still not a ton. She mentions electricity out, not a good connection, had to help family. I am just not sure if there are excuses or what? I am searching for someone, and we only grow older, no one grows younger so I do want to enjoy life with someone.

 

I do need more talk via the phone,  more communication just like with any relationship to be able to really form that bond, that connection, and even more so with communication with someone overseas as you cannot go out on dates. So again difficult to answer your question, yes I do like her, yes I could see myself proposing to her, but at the same time I need that connection to be built with more consistent communication, and of course meeting one another and seeing how each other is in person to be able to decide.

I have to admit, the lack of daily communication is concerning, and the 2 week stretch of no contact is a red flag. I understand the difficulty in communicating when she was an OFW, especially if they are living in the house of their employers. But she has been home over 9 months so I would personally be a little suspicious when she makes more excuses. Is she paying for load for her phone on her own or are you helping her with that? 

 

Hopefully everything goes great for you 2 but just be careful and make sure you don't get into a bad situation without having an exit strategy. If you end up in her place and for whatever reason things don't click between you two, you need to know how to make it back to Manila on your own.

[smore 19]

10 hours ago, Cyberfx1024 said:

Yep the nonstop flights to Manila cost more. Try to check out just Nonstop from LAX to MNL to see that price. Also tbh with you about LAX you will NEED that layover time in LAX. The place is YUGE and there is no easy way to go from Terminal to Terminal without leaving the airport. 

I do not mind a bit more money for nonstop and not having to stop in another foreign country but like anyone you look at the price of things and try and be reasonable, just do not want the travel time to take up alot of the trip. I will keep searching for the LAX nonstop and see what it shows for travel time, layover time, price. I think the layover times were about 3 hours in LAX, one would think that would be enough time to get to the other flight right? The searches I did were not separate, it was a complete search to Manila so one would think they would factor in enough time in LAX so you can get to the next flight. I do agree rushing it not good, but also to much layover time sitting around is not good either and digs into the actual trip.

[smore 19]

10 hours ago, Cyberfx1024 said:

If she was a domestic helper then yes that is true. If you are a domestic helper either in HK or the MENA region then you know that the family controls EVERYTHING from how long you work, when to use your phone, when to eat and sleep. I have heard of some horror stories from people I know and some of my asawa's family. 

Yes she was a domestic worker in Hong Kong. It certainly sounded like the family she worked for controlled everything, very long hours, not really giving any days off, even was threatening at times and really unfair. So it sounds correct than with the situation she was dealing with and not being able to communicate with me to often. Sounded like they controlled her life. Where here in the USA we hop on our phone right in front of the boss and we think nothing of it and if anyone says we can't we get offended.

[smore 19]

8 hours ago, Talako said:

I have flown out of LAX a lot, and you really want way more than 2 hours in LAX.  If you're arriving on SW, that is Terminal 1.  It is on the far end of one of the U-shaped airport complex.  You are going to have get your bags from the baggage claim, drag your bags, your carryon, and yourself to Terminal B. which is on the bottom of the U.  Walking sucks, and the terminal transfer busses, are, well, terminal busses.  Waiting for them, and stops between chews up time.  Then you have check-in, TSA, and then to the gate.  If you're like me, it always seems to on the far end of the terminal.  (I found that it is a very long ways when you are dragging a 4'11" Filipina with short legs and the wrong shoes.)

 

If you have one itinerary and you don't have to fool with bags at LAX or the terminal busses, I would still allow a lot of time.  You have to walk a long damn ways in the interior of LAX using the transfer hallways.

 

To summarize:

 

2 hours - Hurry up, run, stress, and pray to your deity of choice

4 hours - You got this, a little extra time for problems 

 

 

Thanks for the info, sounds like its a bit more involved and complex than one thinks transferring to the next flight. I think the layover times were about 3 hours in LAX, one would think that would be enough time to get to the other flight right? The searches I did were not separate, it was a complete search to Manila so one would think they would factor in enough time in LAX so you can get to the next flight. I do agree rushing is not good, but also to much layover time sitting around is not good either and digs into the actual trip. I appreciate the advise.

[smore 19]

5 hours ago, MarJhi said:

I have to admit, the lack of daily communication is concerning, and the 2 week stretch of no contact is a red flag. I understand the difficulty in communicating when she was an OFW, especially if they are living in the house of their employers. But she has been home over 9 months so I would personally be a little suspicious when she makes more excuses. Is she paying for load for her phone on her own or are you helping her with that? 

 

Hopefully everything goes great for you 2 but just be careful and make sure you don't get into a bad situation without having an exit strategy. If you end up in her place and for whatever reason things don't click between you two, you need to know how to make it back to Manila on your own.

I don't like the lack of communication, its something I stress over for sure. Daily communication would be nice, or several times a week as I am a busy person and don't have tons of time to just talk, talk, talk, each day, but quick messages to keep that connection going would be great and longer talks on days off. The 2 week stretches were when she was an OFW, since she has been home the communication has gotten better, but still 3-4 days for a response sometimes, but other times communication twice a day morning and night. Its so random. I am a really understanding guy, maybe to much, so what does one say, I have said we need more communication but than you here she was out of load, the electricity was off and phone was dead, she had to help her family that day, I guess how can I not accept those excuses. I just keep saying wish we could communicate more, or am I being naive? But again how can one say anything when she has to get more load, the service is not good, electricity is out, I mean I have times where I am not available either but at some point during the day I can take time to respond and make that effort to respond. So I don't know what to think.

 

I am not paying for anything of hers, and have not, and really will not as we have not even met, its just not a situation I will get myself into. So she is paying for the load on her phone and sometimes she has said she needed to get more load on her phone.

 

Yes I agree about the exit strategy in case things do not go well. Meeting in Manila and perhaps staying a day or so would help to see how things are initially, that way at least I am right in Manila to head back home.

[B_J 2,752]

As was posted earlier, I would want around 4 hours minimum between flights in LA.  LAX is huge and if you haven't been there before it can be confusing. 

 

Being an OFW can be just as rough as she's telling you.  Also, the power outages could also be true.  If you visit her home, which I recommend, you will probably get a better understanding of things.

 

BTW, I really hope this works out for you.  My first trip there was great and I hope yours is the same.

 

Also, if things move in a positive direction, you will at one point want to have a serious discussion about family finances.

[MarJhi 964]

1 hour ago, smore said:

I just keep saying wish we could communicate more, or am I being naive?

I would not call you naive, but I think I am a much more cautious person. Even though my fiance and I are 15 hours apart, we are lucky enough to have schedules that match up a little bit. I work nights (get off at 6am) and sleep days here in the US, she works around 11am to 9pm in the Philippines so we actually get home from work at the same time. We tend to have a 2 hour video call every morning (evening for her) and another hour every afternoon (morning for her). So it's a 3 hour a day video conversation on work days, 4 or 5 hours a day on off days, most of which is in the wee hours of the morning here because that's when I am awake. My overnight work schedule has turned out to be a blessing in this regard. 

Edited September 2, 2022 by MarJhi

[smore 19]

11 hours ago, B_J said:

As was posted earlier, I would want around 4 hours minimum between flights in LA.  LAX is huge and if you haven't been there before it can be confusing. 

 

Being an OFW can be just as rough as she's telling you.  Also, the power outages could also be true.  If you visit her home, which I recommend, you will probably get a better understanding of things.

 

BTW, I really hope this works out for you.  My first trip there was great and I hope yours is the same.

 

Also, if things move in a positive direction, you will at one point want to have a serious discussion about family finances.

WOW 4 hour layover is necessary in LAX, never been there before, but just seems like 4 hours is so much. I will just have to keep searching when I am able to find time to, seeing if the other options work better or if the LAX one does.

 

I does sound like being an OFW was very rough. And I do know where she lives went through that Typhoon back in December and now she is living with other family, she does express power outages often. I believe she lives in a more countryside, rustic area. On my trip there the plan is to visit her home, and yes that will give me a better understanding. But right now I just do not know what to understand and what to believe I guess, I have been very understanding this entire 2 1/2 years, but its time to progress or I have to move on as life is passing me by.

 

I do hope this works out, I want to find someone genuine to enjoy life with. You mentioned having a talk about family finances?

[smore 19]

11 hours ago, MarJhi said:

I would not call you naive, but I think I am a much more cautious person. Even though my fiance and I are 15 hours apart, we are lucky enough to have schedules that match up a little bit. I work nights (get off at 6am) and sleep days here in the US, she works around 11am to 9pm in the Philippines so we actually get home from work at the same time. We tend to have a 2 hour video call every morning (evening for her) and another hour every afternoon (morning for her). So it's a 3 hour a day video conversation on work days, 4 or 5 hours a day on off days, most of which is in the wee hours of the morning here because that's when I am awake. My overnight work schedule has turned out to be a blessing in this regard. 

I am cautious but I also try and be understanding, but a person can only be so understanding over and over again, I just do not know what to believe anymore I guess as I cannot see for myself.

 

Its great that you and your fiance are able to talk so much, see that is what I would like, however to be honest maybe not that much, 3 hours a day is a bit much with my work, responsibilities, and trying to relax a little bit before another day. But some communication each day, and than longer talks several times a week would be great. We sorta tried to plan that, like weekends we would talk, it worked for awhile but than it did not continue on a schedule.

[Palawan 131]

9 hours ago, smore said:

I am cautious but I also try and be understanding, but a person can only be so understanding over and over again, I just do not know what to believe anymore I guess as I cannot see for myself.

 

Its great that you and your fiance are able to talk so much, see that is what I would like, however to be honest maybe not that much, 3 hours a day is a bit much with my work, responsibilities, and trying to relax a little bit before another day. But some communication each day, and than longer talks several times a week would be great. We sorta tried to plan that, like weekends we would talk, it worked for awhile but than it did not continue on a schedule.

She can get international calling via load.  Its only 2 peso per minute and very good quality. I had Gcash loaded on my phone and went to the "Load" and you could buy up to 300 peso at a time.  That way she can never claim " I have no load", or "I don't have data" to call via FB or Viber.

 

You need to get her on your schedule, Pinays like to have rules and guidelines, that is how there society works. You ever notice how most people in Philippine will obey an order from anyone in a uniform?

 

Give her a schedule and time and make her stick to it for chatting.

[smore 19]

9 hours ago, Palawan said:

She can get international calling via load.  Its only 2 peso per minute and very good quality. I had Gcash loaded on my phone and went to the "Load" and you could buy up to 300 peso at a time.  That way she can never claim " I have no load", or "I don't have data" to call via FB or Viber.

 

You need to get her on your schedule, Pinays like to have rules and guidelines, that is how there society works. You ever notice how most people in Philippine will obey an order from anyone in a uniform?

 

Give her a schedule and time and make her stick to it for chatting.

We use whatsapp to communicate, I do not have FB and never intend on having it.  So I do not think the international calling load would factor in. It sure sounds like the area she is from is countryside, small town, rustic, rural, not so modern or developed I guess. Power outages all the time, the pictures I have seen are not modern housing, so I am not sure if its the actual availability to towers and connection.

 

As mentioned we are opposite times, her morning is my night, my morning her night. Which somewhat could work as there is still time to talk in those morning/evening situations until it gets later into the evening. I certainly would like to get on a schedule of being able to talk, and somewhat that occurs as I know in the morning she sometimes messages, and than even later in the evening she will message, so she sorta knows also when I will available, its just not consistent I guess due to other factors. I have certainly expressed why, and that we need to be able to communicate.

[Palawan 131]

6 hours ago, smore said:

We use whatsapp to communicate, I do not have FB and never intend on having it.  So I do not think the international calling load would factor in. It sure sounds like the area she is from is countryside, small town, rustic, rural, not so modern or developed I guess. Power outages all the time, the pictures I have seen are not modern housing, so I am not sure if its the actual availability to towers and connection.

 

As mentioned we are opposite times, her morning is my night, my morning her night. Which somewhat could work as there is still time to talk in those morning/evening situations until it gets later into the evening. I certainly would like to get on a schedule of being able to talk, and somewhat that occurs as I know in the morning she sometimes messages, and than even later in the evening she will message, so she sorta knows also when I will available, its just not consistent I guess due to other factors. I have certainly expressed why, and that we need to be able to communicate.

If you get a load which is basically prepraid calling, you don't use FB. You just whatever carrier she uses whether it be Globe, Smart, Sun, etc.......

[GinoNiña 182]

Good call on choosing Philippines. Good luck on meeting your sIgnificant other. Refrain from flashing your cash bundle when paying. Give her some cash and let her do all payments and negotiation.