Applying for ROC when separated

[BandBjourney 21]

4 hours ago, ROK2USA said:

Is it not possible to maybe move in with some friends or some housemates in NY? 

And if you are planning on moving to Arizona maybe you can file for divorce sooner once you establish residency. 

But, in your current situation I do not see how you can file for ROC, then immediately move to AZ while stating you want to try to save the relationship. 

IMO, you either stay in NY and work on the relationship or move to AZ and file for divorce. 

You need to have another sit down with your spouse because him saying he wants you to stay in the US but asking for a separation (not divorce) right before ROC will make your life extremely complicated (which is why so many have suggested you contact an immigration lawyer). 

I don’t really have friends in New York that could host me at this time. I also considered renting my own place but this is not something that I can afford. 
If I need to apply for ROC before December 22nd when my green card runs out and can’t file for divorce in Arizona for 90 days after establishing residency, it sounds as if I will not have enough time to make this work. 
I appreciate the advice given here but I think my journey may be over at this point. It has been a long 4 years of fighting to get into the country and stay and I feel as though I have nothing left in me to fight. 

[OldUser 6,611]

20 minutes ago, BandBjourney said:

I don’t really have friends in New York that could host me at this time. I also considered renting my own place but this is not something that I can afford. 
If I need to apply for ROC before December 22nd when my green card runs out and can’t file for divorce in Arizona for 90 days after establishing residency, it sounds as if I will not have enough time to make this work. 
I appreciate the advice given here but I think my journey may be over at this point. It has been a long 4 years of fighting to get into the country and stay and I feel as though I have nothing left in me to fight. 

Give yourself 2-3 days to think about your marriage and whether it's possible to repair. Think whether you would want to stay and live here or go back home. If you choose divorce & stay route, you should be able to move and establish residence in AZ before beginning of September. Then you have around 2-3 weeks to establish residence (go to DMV next morning after arriving there). I'm not a lawyer but I don't think anybody can stop you from from filing divorce on December 20th and filing I-751 on 21st. Very tight schedule, a lot of unknowns, but there's a chance you can remain here if you want to.

 

Good luck!

[carmel34 3,620]

ROC is taking 1-2 years, some have been waiting for 3 years.  So you have lots of time to figure things out in that time.  I recommend that you file an I-751 2 or 3 weeks before December 22, so that you will receive a 24-month extension letter if you need to travel outside the USA and be in compliance.  That gives you three months to figure out whether you want to get a divorce or not.  If you decide on a divorce, then file ROC with a divorce waiver.  When you get an RFE in a year or two when it is finally adjudicated, you should have the divorce decree by then to send in response to the RFE.  If you decide to reconcile, then file a joint I-751.  The advantage of filing jointly is that later if you decide on a divorce, you should have a little time to send a request to USCIS, requesting a switch to divorce waiver filing.  Good luck!

Edited August 15, 2022 by carmel34

[BandBjourney 21]

1 hour ago, carmel34 said:

ROC is taking 1-2 years, some have been waiting for 3 years.  So you have lots of time to figure things out in that time.  I recommend that you file an I-751 2 or 3 weeks before December 22, so that you will receive a 24-month extension letter if you need to travel outside the USA and be in compliance.  That gives you three months to figure out whether you want to get a divorce or not.  If you decide on a divorce, then file ROC with a divorce waiver.  When you get an RFE in a year or two when it is finally adjudicated, you should have the divorce decree by then to send in response to the RFE.  If you decide to reconcile, then file a joint I-751.  The advantage of filing jointly is that later if you decide on a divorce, you should have a little time to send a request to USCIS, requesting a switch to divorce waiver filing.  Good luck!

This is helpful, thank you. I spoke to my husband yesterday and I think the best option is divorce. I don’t think he wants to salvage the relationship at this point. 
I was under the impression that I can’t file for a divorce waiver unless we are actually divorced. So to be clear, I could file for a divorce waiver with my application, then wait for the RFE? And by that time I’d be able to present evidence of divorce? 
i just want to be super clear on what I need to do because I think at this point divorce is the right option 

[Villanelle 4,122]

1 minute ago, BandBjourney said:

 

 

So to be clear, I could file for a divorce waiver with my application, then wait for the RFE? And by that time I’d be able to present evidence of divorce? 
i just want to be super clear on what I need to do because I think at this point divorce is the right option 

Yes.

 

I am sorry the advices and comments you've gotten so far didn't explain this clearer. 

 

Heres the deal- ROC requires a joint petition. One can get a waiver (divorce-abuse-hardship) to waive the joint filing requirement.  A joint petition requires the couple to be married still at approval. A waiver filing requires the divorce decree for approval. 

 

Some people unfortunately don't have it at filing. It's not the end of the world. You can apply as a waiver w/o it. You just won't be approved until you have it. 

 

You can also apply as a joint (if you and your spouse both want to). It can be approved as long as you both remain in the joint filing and no divorce occurs.  

 

There are advantages and disadvantages to each path. Do NOT make life decisions based on immigration paths! Do whats best for you and immigration will have a path accordingly. 

 

If you are not ready to divorce you need to file a joint ROC. Expect an interview as you will need to advise them you guys are separated but legally married still. You can be approved when separated, people have posted such experiences you can read for reference. 

 

If you are ready to divorce or maybe you weren't but realizing its going to happen eventually and you will need the decree for immigration was the wake up call to start moving forward with it, that's fine too. Because you haven't even filed yet you have plenty plenty plenty of time to get the decree as your ROC processes. It's currently taking 1-2 years on average.  Even if you didn't have it, its still ok. Theres a process for that as well.  It just seems most likely n/a for you as you should have your decree in time. (Time meaning between initial filing and the 1-2 yr processing of it)

[CaLi90 56]

8 hours ago, BandBjourney said:

I don’t really have friends in New York that could host me at this time. I also considered renting my own place but this is not something that I can afford. 
If I need to apply for ROC before December 22nd when my green card runs out and can’t file for divorce in Arizona for 90 days after establishing residency, it sounds as if I will not have enough time to make this work. 
I appreciate the advice given here but I think my journey may be over at this point. It has been a long 4 years of fighting to get into the country and stay and I feel as though I have nothing left in me to fight. 

First of all, I’m so sorry you’re going through this, if the separation was unexpected and your spouse has mentioned divorce then I know this must be a really hard time for you. 
 

Whilst this is an emotional and trying time, if you want to continue living in the states after spending so many years of going through the visa process, don’t give up on it. Do as others have mentioned, and if divorce is the way you are going, you should go that route and apply for the divorce waiver for ROC (when possible). Follow others detailed guidelines for this as I’m not fluent in it.
 

My spouse went through divorce in 2019 in NYC and because it was all agreed between them, the whole thing from applying and receiving divorce decree was only a matter of a few months, so you should have it in plenty of time for ROC. Don’t put off applying for ROC if you really want to stay here, the divorce was not your decision and you shouldn’t make any quick decisions to leave in the heat of the moment, decide what you want, but maybe file in the meantime so you have a chance. 
 

Good luck with your journey and sorry again for your situation. 

[BandBjourney 21]

1 hour ago, Villanelle said:

Yes.

 

I am sorry the advices and comments you've gotten so far didn't explain this clearer. 

 

Heres the deal- ROC requires a joint petition. One can get a waiver (divorce-abuse-hardship) to waive the joint filing requirement.  A joint petition requires the couple to be married still at approval. A waiver filing requires the divorce decree for approval. 

 

Some people unfortunately don't have it at filing. It's not the end of the world. You can apply as a waiver w/o it. You just won't be approved until you have it. 

 

You can also apply as a joint (if you and your spouse both want to). It can be approved as long as you both remain in the joint filing and no divorce occurs.  

 

There are advantages and disadvantages to each path. Do NOT make life decisions based on immigration paths! Do whats best for you and immigration will have a path accordingly. 

 

If you are not ready to divorce you need to file a joint ROC. Expect an interview as you will need to advise them you guys are separated but legally married still. You can be approved when separated, people have posted such experiences you can read for reference. 

 

If you are ready to divorce or maybe you weren't but realizing its going to happen eventually and you will need the decree for immigration was the wake up call to start moving forward with it, that's fine too. Because you haven't even filed yet you have plenty plenty plenty of time to get the decree as your ROC processes. It's currently taking 1-2 years on average.  Even if you didn't have it, its still ok. Theres a process for that as well.  It just seems most likely n/a for you as you should have your decree in time. (Time meaning between initial filing and the 1-2 yr processing of it)

So are we able to file jointly but live in different states? From the above advise from others it suggests not. But my husband is willing to file jointly, go to any interviews and I would fly back to NY for my biometrics. 
 

thank you for this thorough advise. I have been in panic mode for the last 24 hours and it is a really difficult time for me. I would love to be able to go to AZ and have the support of my friends at this time. Like I said, my husband is being amicable and wants to help in any way he can. 

[Family 3,988]

1 hour ago, BandBjourney said:

his is helpful, thank you. I spoke to my husband yesterday and I think the best option is divorce. I don’t think he wants to salvage the relationship at this point. 
I was under the impression that I can’t file for a divorce waiver unless we are actually divorced. So to be clear, I could file for a divorce waiver with my application, then wait for the RFE? And by that time I’d be able to present evidence of divorce? 
i just want to be super clear on what I need to do because I think at this point divorce is the right option

STOP. 
DROP

ROLL 

Stop for a moment and get your bearings. Your green card will be fine based on TWO years of SHARED JOINT LIFE evidence you already have ( taxes, lease/rent payments/bills/accounts and vet bills to say the least). 
 

Whatever happened last week that brought your husband to the break point, is the only problem you need a solution for today. If you need to walk away or run away to a friends couch in AZ , then do so, 

 

Don’t divorce because you are panicked over the I-751…emotions are raw for both of you and things will be said ..part of the reason most states /countries /religions have a cooling off period. 
 

IF you ABSOLUTELY DECIDE to throw in the towel, one of you , either of you CAN file divorce  in New York., as that is the right jurisdiction. 

 

You can then TAKE YOUR space/time and as you said in first post see where the relationship goes . 
THE 6 months will pass soon enough and by End of January you will either have made up or be close to FINAL divorce decree.

 

Your Dec 22, 2023 expiration IS NOT a do or die and you have a GOOD 30 day past that window to file w Divorce Waiver by Jan 22, 2023 , just write “ Late Filed due to painful divorce “..you WILL GET extension and will be fine for time frame to provide final. 
 

Keep some mailing address in New York ..because all of your moves right now are temporary and future a bit unstable…

 

I did not want to provide you a File Divorce in New York Solution at first because..I know you are hurt and unsure. 
 

But I give you this solution in the hope you drop your worries about green card . 
 

So now spill the beans ( everyone here will support you, lol! ) What did the silly husband do ?
 

 

 

Edited August 15, 2022 by Family

[BandBjourney 21]

3 minutes ago, Family said:

STOP. 
DROP

ROLL 

Stop for a moment and get your bearings. Your green card will be fine based on TWO years of SHARED JOINT LIFE evidence you already have ( taxes, lease/rent payments/bills/accounts and vet bills to say the least). 
 

Whatever happened last week that brought your husband to the break point, is the only problem you need a solution for today. If you need to walk away or run away to a friends couch in AZ , then do so, 

 

Don’t divorce because you are panicked over the I-751…emotions are raw for both of you and things will be said ..part of the reason most states /countries /religions have a cooling off period. 
 

IF you ABSOLUTELY DECIDE to throw in the towel, one of you , either of you CAN file divorce TODAY in New York., as that is the right jurisdiction. 

 

You can then TAKE YOUR space/time and as you said in first post see where the relationship goes . 
THE 6 months will pass soon enough and by End of January you will either have made up or be close to FINAL divorce decree.

 

Your Dec 22, 2023 expiration IS NOT a do or die and you have a GOOD 30 day past that window to file w Divorce Waiver by Jan 22, 2023 , just write “ Late Filed due to painful divorce “..you WILL GET extension and will be fine for time frame to provide final. 
 

Keep some mailing address in New York ..because all of your moves right now are temporary and future a bit unstable…

 

I did not want to provide you a File Divorce Now in New York Solution at first because..I know you are hurt and unsure. 
 

But I give you this solution in the hope you drop your worries about green card . 
 

So now spill the beans ( everyone here will support you, lol! ) What did the silly husband do ?
 

 

 

Stopped, dropped and rolled. (Actually I just took a depression nap). 
 

i would love to be able to go to Arizona and be with friends at this time. My mailing address would stay in New York. My husband is still the co sign on my car lease, we have a family phone plan and a joint bank account. Which will not change anytime soon. We plan to keep those things the same. We have joint tax returns also as evidence. I want to make sure I am understanding clearly, could I go couch with my friends in Arizona, maybe get a small job out there to support myself and cool off while still filing jointly with my spouse? This is the route that both of us are more comfortable with because we have not even discussed divorce in detail at this early stage. 
 

Went on vacation to Baltimore last week, had the perfect weekend. On the way home my husband says ‘I don’t want to do this anymore’. And that was that. He wants to be free and have no consequences. I want to be with my friends at this time because they have been so supportive. 
 

again.. thank you so much for this response. Some of the advice on here has been scary and sent me spiralling thinking there is no hope. 

[carmel34 3,620]

18 minutes ago, BandBjourney said:

I want to make sure I am understanding clearly, could I go couch with my friends in Arizona, maybe get a small job out there to support myself and cool off while still filing jointly with my spouse? This is the route that both of us are more comfortable with because we have not even discussed divorce in detail at this early stage. 

Yes of course you can do this, your plan is fine.  I recommend filing for ROC a few weeks before your 2-year conditional green card expires, either jointly or with a divorce waiver, so that you will have the 24-month extension letter in hand if you need it for travel outside the US, to get a driver's license, or for work.  Good luck!

[BandBjourney 21]

3 minutes ago, carmel34 said:

Yes of course you can do this, your plan is fine.  I recommend filing for ROC a few weeks before your 2-year conditional green card expires, either jointly or with a divorce waiver, so that you will have the 24-month extension letter in hand if you need it for travel outside the US, to get a driver's license, or for work.  Good luck!

Right so September 22 is the earliest I can apply. Should I get the paperwork done, file jointly, sent off a few days before September 22. Then move to AZ? I will be going back to New York periodically because we have pets there and for my biometrics etc. i would keep my address as my Ny address. I just want to know that I can do this. Thank you for your help. 

[Family 3,988]

2 minutes ago, BandBjourney said:

Stopped, dropped and rolled. (Actually I just took a depression nap). 
 

i would love to be able to go to Arizona and be with friends at this time. My mailing address would stay in New York. My husband is still the co sign on my car lease, we have a family phone plan and a joint bank account. Which will not change anytime soon. We plan to keep those things the same. We have joint tax returns also as evidence. I want to make sure I am understanding clearly, could I go couch with my friends in Arizona, maybe get a small job out there to support myself and cool off while still filing jointly with my spouse? This is the route that both of us are more comfortable with because we have not even discussed divorce in detail at this early stage. 
 

Went on vacation to Baltimore last week, had the perfect weekend. On the way home my husband says ‘I don’t want to do this anymore’. And that was that. He wants to be free and have no consequences. I want to be with my friends at this time because they have been so supportive. 
 

again.. thank you so much for this response. Some of the advice on here has been scary and sent me spiralling thinking there is no hope. 

You do what you need to do to get through LIFE . If both you and your husband are not ready to throw in the towel then file Jointly on first day of the window ( I think you said September 22, 2022) using YOUR BLOODY MARITAL HOME ADDRESS for everything…and you go couch surf where you can.

It cannot be easy living under the same roof even if your days are not scenes from War of The Roses.

 

Once you clear your head, understand that if he won’t agree to marriage counseling or you won’t wait for him to change his heart/mind then YOU should be strong enough to file for Divorce without his blessings…and figure out a more permanent address/ life. 

 

 

And please please,  if you believe in Therapy/Counseling, do it for yourself.
 

 

[BandBjourney 21]

Just now, Family said:

You do what you need to do to get through LIFE . If both you and your husband are not ready to throw in the towel then file Jointly on first day of the window ( I think you said September 22, 2022) using YOUR BLOODY MARITAL HOME ADDRESS for everything…and you go couch surf where you can.

It cannot be easy living under the same roof even if your days are not scenes from War of The Roses.

 

Once you clear your head, understand that if he won’t agree to marriage counseling or you won’t wait for him to change his heart/mind then YOU should be strong enough to file for Divorce without his blessings…and figure out a more permanent address/ life. 

 

 

And please please,  if you believe in Therapy/Counseling, do it for yourself.
 

 

I have been in therapy for over a year because I have my own things to work through. Husband is not agreeing to therapy/counselling at this time. It is still so new. So thinking about divorce right now hasn’t been something we’d thought. We are both happy to stay married while this process is … processing. And consider divorce after ROC.  
 

 

(I am currently in England on a visit to get support from my family) 

[Family 3,988]

2 minutes ago, BandBjourney said:

Right so September 22 is the earliest I can apply. Should I get the paperwork done, file jointly, sent off a few days before September 22. Then move to AZ? I will be going back to New York periodically because we have pets there and for my biometrics etc. i would keep my address as my Ny address. I just want to know that I can do this. Thank you for your help. 

Mail it only on 21st because if it gets there even one day early it will be rejected. 
 

[BandBjourney 21]

Just now, Family said:

Mail it only on 21st because if it gets there even one day early it will be rejected. 
 

Ok thank you. Just one more question, at interview stage, how would I explain me couch surfing in a different state for the whole wait period? Like I said we plan to keep our finances the same even if I am in a different state