Applying for ROC when separated

[Family 3,988]

4 minutes ago, BandBjourney said:

have been in therapy for over a year because I have my own things to work through. Husband is not agreeing to therapy/counselling at this time. It is still so new. So thinking about divorce right now hasn’t been something we’d thought. We are both happy to stay married while this process is … processing. And consider divorce after ROC.  
 

 

(I am currently in England on a visit to get support

That reason to stay married is “ for immigration benefit “ and a bad one . He may think he is doing you a favor ( perhaps to alleviate guilt) but it will hurt you. 
If it’s done, then you will know and file once cooling off period . Get an family attorney, it will do you good

[Family 3,988]

4 minutes ago, BandBjourney said:

Ok thank you. Just one more question, at interview stage, how would I explain me couch surfing in a different state for the whole wait period? Like I said we plan to keep our finances the same even if I am in a different state 

Don’t plan to stay “married” in separate states, throughout the I-751 process . You can file Jointly because neither of you have declared ITS DONE and this happened a week ago.

 

Your long term plan IS NOT to get to an interview for Joint Filing  while living apart “ to get green card” but send in Divorce Decree while it’s pending and if an interview, you are fine to go alone. 

Marriages break down , life happens .You still get your green card 

[OldUser 6,608]

10 minutes ago, Family said:

That reason to stay married is “ for immigration benefit “ and a bad one . He may think he is doing you a favor ( perhaps to alleviate guilt) but it will hurt you. 
If it’s done, then you will know and file once cooling off period . Get an family attorney, it will do you good

Agreed here. OP can afford flying between continents without planning, right after vacation, but cannot get professional legal help. OP wants to stay married on paper without living together. To me, this is all red flags in your future case. Sorry if I sound harsh.

Edited August 15, 2022 by OldUser

[BandBjourney 21]

1 minute ago, OldUser said:

Agreed here. OP can afford flying between continents without planning, right after vacation cannot get professional legal help. OP wants to stay married on paper without living together. To me, this is all red flags in your future case. Sorry if I sound harsh.

Not that I should have to explain but my family paid for flights for both me and my husband over a year ago to visit, we were supposed to go over in November. I called and changed the flight to flying alone and changed the dates. I spent no extra money to do this. 

[BandBjourney 21]

5 minutes ago, Family said:

Don’t plan to stay “married” in separate states, throughout the I-751 process . You can file Jointly because neither of you have declared ITS DONE and this happened a week ago.

 

Your long term plan IS NOT to get to an interview for Joint Filing  while living apart “ to get green card” but send in Divorce Decree while it’s pending and if an interview, you are fine to go alone. 

Marriages break down , life happens .You still get your green card 

Ok I think this makes sense. File jointly for the time being, then send in divorce decree when I am able to get a divorce. As the waiting period for ROC is over a year I will have the time to get divorced and send them notice of this. 
 

i apologise if anything sounds like ‘a red flag’ or that I’m being stupid/naive. I just had the metaphorical rug pulled from under me and am trying to find a way to stay in the country because I built a life there.. with or without my husband. 

[Family 3,988]

2 minutes ago, OldUser said:

Agreed here. OP can afford flying between continents without planning, right after vacation cannot get professional legal help. OP wants to stay married on paper without living together. To me, this is all red flags in your future case. Sorry if I sound harsh.

@OldUser what you point out “ on paper” is indeed the flags raised if anyone does that…but I think anyone going through a marriage stress / break point faces a great deal of fear/panic and OP is just asking questions here that she would normally ask in the privacy of an attorney’s office. 
I appreciate your engagement (and anyone else);as it helps her see things that may not be clear to her.

[OldUser 6,608]

Sorry @BandBjourney I didn't mean to offend you. However, IO can have these and much more difficult questions for you in the future. You need to be prepared to explain yourself clearly to them, without hiding or misrepresenting facts.

 

I would vote for moving this topic to "Effects of Major Family Changes on Immigration Benefits" instead of general discussion. 

[BandBjourney 21]

1 minute ago, OldUser said:

Sorry @BandBjourney I didn't mean to offend you. However, IO can have these and much more difficult questions for you in the future. You need to be prepared to explain yourself clearly to them, without hiding or misrepresenting facts.

 

I would vote for moving this topic to "Effects of Major Family Changes on Immigration Benefits" instead of general discussion. 

No it’s totally ok. I appreciate your comment even if it does seem harsh. I will file jointly for now. As soon as it is filed I will look at how to get divorced within the next year. Then present this to USCIS when I have the divorce papers in hand. Does this sound like the most honest and sensible option?

[mindthegap 2,589]

And yet again, no-one has mentioned the thing on the first bloody page of the I-751 instructions, that a waiver filing does not have to be submitted in the 90 day window, or by the card expiry date:

 

 

So, you have until dec 22 to decide what to do.

Filing in September vs December is not really going to make much difference in the grand scheme of things with current proceesing times of 2 yrs, so I suggest you use that time to figure it out. Then, in Dec, if you want to file jointly, then do so. You could even file it jointly after December IF you give a reason for the late filing...which really could be anything, as long as you state in writing what it is and acknowledge the lateness. 

 

You can also covert a joint filing to a waiver filing at any time before approval, so that gives yet another option. 

 

 

If, in or before Dec, you have decided to go your separate ways, then you could file with the waiver box ticked then, or do not file, and do nothing..then file when the divorce is final - as is expressly permitted by law as shown above.

A waiver filing will not ever be considered late, and will be accepted (as long as its before a final immigration judge hearing, which would be years away).

The difference between a joint filing and a waiver filing is minimal - a few more bits of paperwork, and a different box ticked. The bulk of it is the same. 

 

 

 

 

So you have at minimum until December to figure out what you want to do with your life and marriage and act accordingly.

Frankly, screw USCIS. Live your live(s) for you not for them and act with regards to them as a consequence of your decisions, - not the other way around.

 

I hope you manage to figure it out. Life is too short to be unhappy. 

Edited August 15, 2022 by mindthegap
typos

[Lil bear 4,181]

31 minutes ago, BandBjourney said:

I have been in therapy for over a year because I have my own things to work through. Husband is not agreeing to therapy/counselling at this time. It is still so new. So thinking about divorce right now hasn’t been something we’d thought. We are both happy to stay married while this process is … processing. And consider divorce after ROC.  
 

 

(I am currently in England on a visit to get support from my family) 

He is not going to change. His statement to you, at the end of what seemed to be a good weekend, indicates that he has been thinking a lot and for a long time before saying it .. he isnt open to the few things which would change his outlook.. sometimes its because people dont want to possibly change their perception and own their own issues 😤..

Redeem your sense of self and value.. this isn't about your “work” … its about him and his.  If you want to continue life here in the US.. the GC isnt going to be the biggest challenge.. you can get ROC without him.. people here can guide and support you .. the other tasks of reestablishing life as a single will be bigger.. BUT.. you have done it before and you CAN do it again. Take a break in AZ .. let it remind you that you ARE a good friend.. you are worth being with..  the separation is on him. Climb some mountains, enjoy good company and food, get lots of rest, play silly board games, watch corny feel good movies .. then ask the hard questions after that. Go well 

[dnyal 32]

I'm sorry you're going through all of this. It must be going through a lot of emotions right now, and I'm glad that you're finding support in your family and things with your husband seem amicable. Regarding the immigration situation, the consensus here is that, if you two are considering divorce, then you should file for ROC with a divorce waiver. You mentioned that your husband is willing to "stay married" while you go through this process in order to help you out. However, ROC is based on a bona fide relationship. The moment you decided to divorce, staying married in order to get an immigration benefit no longer constitutes a bona fide marriage. Should USCIS catch any wind of this during the process or interview, you'd be in for a world of trouble. Since you talked to your husband and now you both have considered divorce as the route to go, then you need to file for divorce in your state of residence and file for ROC based on a divorce waiver. You will still need to provide evidence of having had a bona fide relationship: joint lease, bank accounts, health insurance, etc., up to the point where you two separated, along with the paperwork that you two initiated divorce proceedings and a brief letter explaining the situation (better if signed by both you and your husband). A cousin of mine is going through AOS in NY. She got an RFE about three months after her initial filing, so that should give you an idea of how long you'd have to wait until you get your RFE for the finalized divorce decree. I'd suggest you apply for ROC as soon as you are eligible and then submit evidence as requested by USCIS.

[BandBjourney 21]

9 minutes ago, mindthegap said:

And yet again, no-one has mentioned the thing on the first bloody page of the I-751 instructions, that a waiver filing does not have to be submitted in the 90 day window, or by the card expiry date:

 

 

So, you have until dec 22 to decide what to do.

Filing in September vs December is not really going to make much difference in the grand scheme of things with current proceesing times of 2 yrs, so I suggest you use that time to figure it out. Then, in Dec, if you want to file jointly, then do so. You could even file it jointly after December IF you give a reason for the late filing...which really could be anything, as long as you state in writing what it is and acknowledge the lateness. 

 

You can also covert a joint filing to a waiver filing at any time before approval, so that gives yet another option. 

 

 

If, in or before Dec, you have decided to go your separate ways, then you could file with the waiver box ticked then, or do not file, and do nothing..then file when the divorce is final - as is expressly permitted by law as shown above.

A waiver filing will not ever be considered late, and will be accepted (as long as its before a final immigration judge hearing, which would be years away).

The difference between a joint filing and a waiver filing is minimal - a few more bits of paperwork, and a different box ticked. The bulk of it is the same. 

 

 

 

 

So you have at minimum until December to figure out what you want to do with your life and marriage and act accordingly.

Frankly, screw USCIS. Live your live(s) for you not for them and act with regards to them as a consequence of your decisions, - not the other way around.

 

I hope you manage to figure it out. Life is too short to be unhappy. 

Thank you for this response. I am thinking what makes most sense is to convert my petition from filing jointly to waiver after I have gotten divorced. For now I will apply as filing jointly, then I will find a way for us to get divorced and notify USCIS that I am changing to divorce waiver. This makes sense correct? 
 

really appreciate all of these comments at this difficult time. I am never intending to pull the wool over USCIS’ eyes I just want to do what is right and honest in order to stay. Let’s face it.. this whole immigration thing is COMPLICATED. I need all the help I can get. 

[CaLi90 56]

29 minutes ago, BandBjourney said:

Thank you for this response. I am thinking what makes most sense is to convert my petition from filing jointly to waiver after I have gotten divorced. For now I will apply as filing jointly, then I will find a way for us to get divorced and notify USCIS that I am changing to divorce waiver. This makes sense correct? 
 

really appreciate all of these comments at this difficult time. I am never intending to pull the wool over USCIS’ eyes I just want to do what is right and honest in order to stay. Let’s face it.. this whole immigration thing is COMPLICATED. I need all the help I can get. 

This sounds like a good plan, apply now and If you decide to divorce, apply for the waiver. 
 

I’m glad you are surrounded by support as it can’t be easy!

[CaLi90 56]

https://www.nolo.com/legal-encyclopedia/divorce-your-conditional-residence-status-how-file-divorce-waiver-with-form-i-751.html
 

Might have helpful info for you. 

[TBoneTX 45,259]

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