Female Cousin got caught posting photos of herself

[Prisonmate 93]

This is for members that are from the Philippines:

We need your opinion on this situation

 

My wife and her family (Mother and sister) in the Philippines are supporting her female cousin ("Maria"). Maria lives with them and has been part of the family for several years now. They treat her very well and supported her schooling all the way to her recent graduation from High School.

 

The plan is to send to her college in the Philippines.

 

Everything was fine until Maria got caught posting photos of herself in her underwear with her face cutoff in a website call Pornview(?).

 

At this point, my wife is upset and feel that Maria no longer deserves her financial help for college. There are other relatives that can use the financial assistance to go to college. Maria is 20 years old. Is my wife wasting her money supporting Maria?

 

My question for other members that understands the Philippine Culture is my wife overreacting? Without college, Maria will have very few career choices in the Philippines. She probably end up doing laundry for others as a job with only a high school degree.

What would other members from the Philippines advise in this situation?

 

 

[TBoneTX 45,270]

Thread is moved from Off Topic to the Philippines regional forum.

[Adventine 3,196]

So was Maria posting photos of herself because she needed more money? Or because she was trying to catch a romantic partner? Or even because she thought it was fun?

 

How are her grades? Apart from this incident, what's her general attitude like?

 

If this incident was a one-time thing, and Maria is otherwise a good student and a respectful, helpful member of the family, chalk it up to a dumb teenage idea. 

 

But if this incident is part of a larger pattern of irresponsible behavior, then your wife may be justified in cutting her off.

[Prisonmate 93]

20 minutes ago, Adventine said:

So was Maria posting photos of herself because she needed more money? Or because she was trying to catch a romantic partner? Or even because she thought it was fun?

 

How are her grades? Apart from this incident, what's her general attitude like?

 

If this incident was a one-time thing, and Maria is otherwise a good student and a respectful, helpful member of the family, chalk it up to a dumb teenage idea. 

 

But if this incident is part of a larger pattern of irresponsible behavior, then your wife may be justified in cutting her off.

Her grades are very good in High School. But I don't trust the grading system there. Teachers give out good grades not on merit but if they like the students. Their education level is not the same as here. She went to a public high school not a private high school.

 

Thank you for your reply.

[Palawan 131]

7 hours ago, Prisonmate said:

This is for members that are from the Philippines:

We need your opinion on this situation

 

My wife and her family (Mother and sister) in the Philippines are supporting her female cousin ("Maria"). Maria lives with them and has been part of the family for several years now. They treat her very well and supported her schooling all the way to her recent graduation from High School.

 

The plan is to send to her college in the Philippines.

 

Everything was fine until Maria got caught posting photos of herself in her underwear with her face cutoff in a website call Pornview(?).

 

At this point, my wife is upset and feel that Maria no longer deserves her financial help for college. There are other relatives that can use the financial assistance to go to college. Maria is 20 years old. Is my wife wasting her money supporting Maria?

 

My question for other members that understands the Philippine Culture is my wife overreacting? Without college, Maria will have very few career choices in the Philippines. She probably end up doing laundry for others as a job with only a high school degree.

What would other members from the Philippines advise in this situation?

 

 

I would listen to your wife, she knows the game over there. Age 20 isn't an kid or teenager, she is grown adult making decision to post sexy pictures on websites.

 

I woudn't waste money either, find someone with a better moral compass.  I suspect she will be a "Camera Model" or working at some Video K soon.

 

You ever noticed how many babies you see with young mothers who have no father over in the Phillippines?  

 

 

[Carpe Vinum 2,327]

I asked my wife. She made her disapproving face and said your wife isn't overreacting.

[Cyberfx1024 7,980]

10 hours ago, Prisonmate said:

Her grades are very good in High School. But I don't trust the grading system there. Teachers give out good grades not on merit but if they like the students. Their education level is not the same as here. She went to a public high school not a private high school.

 

Thank you for your reply.

She is not already in college right now, if not then why? 20 years old is pretty late for someone in the Philippines to just now go to college. 

[Chancy 6,241]

12 hours ago, Prisonmate said:

My question for other members that understands the Philippine Culture is my wife overreacting?

 

20 years old is too old to claim that she didn't know any better that posting on a porn site is no good.  If I were in your wife's shoes, I won't just be upset -- I'd be furious.

 

As for college, if that's important to Maria, she can work and save up for the tuition herself.  She's 20 years old and a high school graduate, not a helpless little child.  Your wife and her relatives should not feel guilty if they choose to help someone else they feel who is more deserving and appreciative of their generosity.

 

[RO_AH 1,659]

14 hours ago, Adventine said:

So was Maria posting photos of herself because she needed more money? Or because she was trying to catch a romantic partner? Or even because she thought it was fun?

 

How are her grades? Apart from this incident, what's her general attitude like?

 

If this incident was a one-time thing, and Maria is otherwise a good student and a respectful, helpful member of the family, chalk it up to a dumb teenage idea. 

 

But if this incident is part of a larger pattern of irresponsible behavior, then your wife may be justified in cutting her off.

100% this! Everyone has done stupid stuff. What's important is, is this a long pattern of stupid behavior? Is she the type that if you give her a change she will actually appreciate it an improve, or think haha I pulled one over on them? This is what I would base my decisions on. I put my sister in law through Sr. High school and college. She just graduated a few days ago. I had to be stern with her a few times, but she always appreciated what I did for her and always improved herself. It was worth the investment.

[Prisonmate 93]

Thanks to all for your responses. My wife and her family decided to give her one more chance. However, if she gets caught doing it again, she will be kicked out of the house.

[TBoneTX 45,270]

3 hours ago, Prisonmate said:

My wife and her family decided to give her one more chance. However, if she gets caught doing it again, she will be kicked out of the house.

That sounds fair.

[Ontarkie 14,218]

~~Two posts removed for being non conductive and inappropriate~~

[seekingthetruth 1,246]

On 8/12/2022 at 2:46 AM, RO_AH said:

100% this! Everyone has done stupid stuff. What's important is, is this a long pattern of stupid behavior? Is she the type that if you give her a change she will actually appreciate it an improve, or think haha I pulled one over on them? This is what I would base my decisions on. I put my sister in law through Sr. High school and college. She just graduated a few days ago. I had to be stern with her a few times, but she always appreciated what I did for her and always improved herself. It was worth the investment.

Also agree.  If she is doing well in other areas, has some remorse, and still has a good attitude towards getting an education, I would give her a break.

[Palawan 131]

On 8/11/2022 at 4:17 PM, Prisonmate said:

Thanks to all for your responses. My wife and her family decided to give her one more chance. However, if she gets caught doing it again, she will be kicked out of the house.

Let's hope she doesn't get caught doing it again......

[RO_AH 1,659]

17 hours ago, Palawan said:

Let's hope she doesn't get caught doing it again......

Let's hope she doesn't get caught doing do it again......