happy hump day

[sereia 0]

ahhh looks like i jinxed myself. here i thought everything was going so well between my mother and i....she seemed somewhat HAPPY for me that abdou was coming friday. now i walked in the door and she looked kind of upset. so i asked what was wrong and she said she just got off the phone with my brother. they were discussing abdou's arrival and how shocked my brother was that he was coming already (i guess he didn't really believe it was going to happen) and she voiced her and my bro's concerns about him possibly using me for a green card. we've gone over this countless times about that. i can't believe she'd bring it up again, especially two days before he's coming! she kept saying how she just wanted to tell us they were concerned... well DUH!!! she's told me 100's of times. thanks for clearing it up, mom, i guess i must have forgotten you don't like abdou!?!

i really hope they change their tune like your family, moody. i'm not sure i could completely forgive them for not being one bit supportive in this. but i hope they come around and at least are nice to abdou and accept him into our family. as if i wasn't already stressed out!

[doodlebug 3]

ahhh looks like i jinxed myself. here i thought everything was going so well between my mother and i....she seemed somewhat HAPPY for me that abdou was coming friday. now i walked in the door and she looked kind of upset. so i asked what was wrong and she said she just got off the phone with my brother. they were discussing abdou's arrival and how shocked my brother was that he was coming already (i guess he didn't really believe it was going to happen) and she voiced her and my bro's concerns about him possibly using me for a green card. we've gone over this countless times about that. i can't believe she'd bring it up again, especially two days before he's coming! she kept saying how she just wanted to tell us they were concerned... well DUH!!! she's told me 100's of times. thanks for clearing it up, mom, i guess i must have forgotten you don't like abdou!?!

i really hope they change their tune like your family, moody. i'm not sure i could completely forgive them for not being one bit supportive in this. but i hope they come around and at least are nice to abdou and accept him into our family. as if i wasn't already stressed out!

preachin' to the choir

[Aymerlu 3]

ahhh looks like i jinxed myself. here i thought everything was going so well between my mother and i....she seemed somewhat HAPPY for me that abdou was coming friday. now i walked in the door and she looked kind of upset. so i asked what was wrong and she said she just got off the phone with my brother. they were discussing abdou's arrival and how shocked my brother was that he was coming already (i guess he didn't really believe it was going to happen) and she voiced her and my bro's concerns about him possibly using me for a green card. we've gone over this countless times about that. i can't believe she'd bring it up again, especially two days before he's coming! she kept saying how she just wanted to tell us they were concerned... well DUH!!! she's told me 100's of times. thanks for clearing it up, mom, i guess i must have forgotten you don't like abdou!?!

i really hope they change their tune like your family, moody. i'm not sure i could completely forgive them for not being one bit supportive in this. but i hope they come around and at least are nice to abdou and accept him into our family. as if i wasn't already stressed out!

I think a lot of our families here have these concerns. It made me crazy my mom felt this way. Now everyone loves him and I have to giggle because everyone is eating their words I hope all works out with your husband and your family.

[doodlebug 3]

You know, as a mom, I just don't get this. What the heck harm is there in welcoming the guy? Are they that afraid to have egg on their face if it does not work out? Don't they realize the harm they are doing in NOT welcoming him initially? In NOT trusting their ADULT daughter's opinion/judgement? Weren't THEY *key players* in helping to form the very mind that has selected this man?

I'm really pissed off here. I mean I knew my family was whacked but sometimes I guess I need a dope slap of a reality check to really have it sink in *just* how narrowminded and bigotted they are.

On a side note I"m very thankful that my sisters and brother are supportive. I honestly think I would have jumped off a bridge long ago were it not for them.

[Jenn! 918]

You know, as a mom, I just don't get this. What the heck harm is there in welcoming the guy? Are they that afraid to have egg on their face if it does not work out? Don't they realize the harm they are doing in NOT welcoming him initially? In NOT trusting their ADULT daughter's opinion/judgement? Weren't THEY *key players* in helping to form the very mind that has selected this man?

I'm really pissed off here. I mean I knew my family was whacked but sometimes I guess I need a dope slap of a reality check to really have it sink in *just* how narrowminded and bigotted they are.

On a side note I"m very thankful that my sisters and brother are supportive. I honestly think I would have jumped off a bridge long ago were it not for them.

I would be really pissed, too. I think you have every right to feel that way.

I'd like to think that my mom never felt that way, but who knows? What I do know is that if she had expressed anything to me like your mom has expressed to you, she would be getting no second chances. (easy for me to say of course, don't know how it would really play out)

At least you know she's not sugar coating things for you or telling you what you want to hear. I guess that's something.

[monnik 0]

Ya doodle, ya doodle! Here is a song for you (and everybody else)!

Video here:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g50vzZzAja0

Just the song here:

http://www.zshare.net/audio/27484765865f89/

It's my life

It's now or never

I ain't gonna live forever

I just want to live while I'm alive

(It's my life)

My heart is like an open highway

Like Frankie said

I did it my way

I just wanna live while I'm alive

It's my life

[sereia 0]

You know, as a mom, I just don't get this. What the heck harm is there in welcoming the guy? Are they that afraid to have egg on their face if it does not work out? Don't they realize the harm they are doing in NOT welcoming him initially? In NOT trusting their ADULT daughter's opinion/judgement? Weren't THEY *key players* in helping to form the very mind that has selected this man?

I'm really pissed off here. I mean I knew my family was whacked but sometimes I guess I need a dope slap of a reality check to really have it sink in *just* how narrowminded and bigotted they are.

On a side note I"m very thankful that my sisters and brother are supportive. I honestly think I would have jumped off a bridge long ago were it not for them.

i'm seriously getting to that point, doodle. almot daily i hear some sort of comment that i've already heard out of her mouth 100 times! yes, i know you don't think i know him well enough. yes, i know you don't want me to marry a muslim. yes, i know you think marrying a foreigner is a bad idea (she married one herself.), yes, i know you and my brother wonder if he's using me for a green card !!!!! enough already! i really wonder why she can't just be thrilled for once to know i've met a man who cares about me with all of his heart. a man who is willing to take any job when he first gets here to help contribute and build our family. a man who will NOT lie on the couch all day and bark orders at me! i just don't know why it has to be when he comes that it gets proven. why can't she understand my judgement? as you said, she was a key player in helping form this mind and selecting someone to love! i feel like she's treated me like a blind lovesick school girl and i can't make any rational decisions on my own. you're lucky your siblings are supportive. mine are not. they don't say anything to my face, they just tell my mom how they feel and once in a while she'll tell me "your bro said ____. your bro said ..." i am lucky to have friends who are objective and supportive of my decisions. i have family friends (older adults) who are supportive. but my family and my mom's friends all think i'm nuts. and i'm tired of hearing it. my mom keeps asking, "promise me you will divorce him if it doesn't turn out like you expected! don't stay in a marriage just to spite me!"... yeah mom, i'll stay in a miserable marriage just so i don't have to say "i told you so!". riiiiiiiiiight. i can't wait for HER to say, " i told you so!" even that i don't care about! its not about winning. i just want to be happy and have family who supports our relationship.

[sereia 0]

when i stormed off my mom wrote me this email:

"why are you mad at a mother who is looking out for her

daughter?do you think parents should allow their

children to do whatever they want?should they just

stand by and watch?would you just stand there and

watch me do something without comment that could be

dangerous?

just wondering.

G-d forbid you'd be grateful."

-without comment? how about repeating the same comments every freaking day! she also told me its not too late to change my mind! he hasn't gotten on the plane yet! *sigh*

Edited July 19, 2007 by sereia

[MelindaandTarek 0]

I used to like to go to the airport, but since our son has been born, the airport isn't as fun as it used to be. Hopefully when he gets a little older and can understand more, it will be more enjoyable for both of us.

On a happy note, I've been really working hard to get back into the shape I was when Hicham and I first met 7 years ago. I put on alot of weight when my dad died and since the baby was born. Well, I have been losing but I didn't realize how much until I was looking for something to wear to work this morning and was looking through my closet and found a skirt that I couldn't even button when I first got my spring/summer clothes out this year. I decided to try it on.....

AND IT FITS!!!!!!!! OMG!!!!!!!

It's a little snug, but not cutting my breath off snug. This skirt is TWO sizes smaller than what I have been wearing when I started dieting a couple of months ago. I am so very proud of myself because I have really been trying hard.

Just wanted to share that!

congrats!!

[Ban Hammer 13,484]

when i stormed off my mom wrote me this email:

"why are you mad at a mother who is looking out for her

daughter?do you think parents should allow their

children to do whatever they want?should they just

stand by and watch?would you just stand there and

watch me do something without comment that could be

dangerous?

just wondering.

G-d forbid you'd be grateful."

-without comment? how about repeating the same comments every freaking day! she also told me its not too late to change my mind! he hasn't gotten on the plane yet! *sigh*

still, it's time for them to

i had that problem with my parents telling me what to do too, even though i was over 40

[MelindaandTarek 0]

Doodle - sereia

I am sorry that you both are not receiving supportive feedback from your family. I can't pretend to know how your feeling, however my mom was initally not as supportive when I first told her about my fiance...and I know it made it harder....however I had to tell myself that I need to take control over what I can - that is my reaction to other ppls judgements, statements (how well do u really know him? he could be saying anything? he probably just wants u for a greencard, ur going to be beheaded in Egypt)....so I took it w/a grain of salt..chalked it up to lack of knowledge and ignorance..and really it only mattered what I felt about the situation after all it was my life to lead..and I knew in my heart I was making the right choice...that doesnt mean it makes it any easier when family was not as supportive as I would have liked..luckly my mother came around quickly..and she was honestly worried about me, once she spoke w/my SO and got to know him she was okay...I hope that this happens for you guys as well, if not, it is really ur family's loss of an opportunity of welcoming warmly a new addition to the family...my hearts are with you both.....concentrate on both of your upcoming reunions with ur SO - - yeah!!!! - Melinda

[doodlebug 3]

HA. My mom talked to him the day we got married.

Usama: " donnot worry, she is my eyes and I love her with all my heart"

he hands the phone to me

my mom: *through the sobbing tears* "why are you doing this to me????"

I told him what she said tonight and he said, "what did she think we just like to talk to each other everynight for fun???"

I feel sooooooooooo bad. His family has welcomed me into their lives with open arms. For goodness sakes I think I have talked to his sisters more than to him the past week 'cause they keep asking me what I want to eat!!

I just pray that my children grow up to be a lot more openminded.

[MelindaandTarek 0]

HA. My mom talked to him the day we got married.

Usama: " donnot worry, she is my eyes and I love her with all my heart"

he hands the phone to me

my mom: *through the sobbing tears* "why are you doing this to me????"

I told him what she said tonight and he said, "what did she think we just like to talk to each other everynight for fun???"

I feel sooooooooooo bad. His family has welcomed me into their lives with open arms. For goodness sakes I think I have talked to his sisters more than to him the past week 'cause they keep asking me what I want to eat!!

I just pray that my children grow up to be a lot more openminded.

that's rough! and ur so sounds quite sweet and charming...so so hard...so so hard..i cant imagine it..however i am sure that ur children are learning a great lesson from u - they are witnessing first hand their mother's love of another not based on race, religion, skin color...etc...I am sure ur planting many seeds for your children.....ur mother on the other hand..sounds like she has her own issues that have nothing to do w/u or ur SO..hopefully she can process these feelings and gain some insight into her inablity to be supportive of her daughter who appears to me (and I certainly don't know you well at all) to be quite in love - - why not be happy for you - - in time perhaps...only your mother can make that decision..if she doesnt she is missing out on years of happiness w/ur SO, you, and your children..years of memories....all you can do is what you have been doing...hopefully your mother will come around......and to heck w/this...UR GOING TO SEE YOUR HUSBAND!!! YEAH..can you shout a HELLO to my SO Tarek while ur at it....hahaaaaaa...Enjoy ur time and try to do some deep breathing..focus on what u have control over...take control of the situation...and let ur mother's comments..which are quite ignorant..fade into oblivion......Enjoy ur time........

[doodlebug 3]

thanks

I'll give a shout out when I get out of the airport. lol

So on a brighter note, I finally made my list of what to pack. Just have to do two loads of laundry tomorrow night, take the trash out tonight, go see my shrink Friday morning and off I go!!!!

I SERIOUSLY cannot wait to have a cannoli in Milan!!!

[MelindaandTarek 0]

thanks

I'll give a shout out when I get out of the airport. lol

So on a brighter note, I finally made my list of what to pack. Just have to do two loads of laundry tomorrow night, take the trash out tonight, go see my shrink Friday morning and off I go!!!!

I SERIOUSLY cannot wait to have a cannoli in Milan!!!

hahahhaaa U GO GIRL and enjoy the cannoli!!!!!!!!!!! have a great time...