VAWA RFE

[Mushtqaue 0]

So my wedding was was for few months but very toxic. My wife lived with her parents in Houston and I was in Dallas. She was yet to move here and we met on weekends. Her parents were very conservative and said we will move in after we have the religious wedding and the American legal wedding does not count. However, my Lawyer told me to write this and that we did not live together. I got RFE saying that I need to prove residence and also extreme cruelty without co-living. We only were together on weekends and vacations. How do I write my Story? My ex was a victim mentality and very dominating. Wanted me to sell my home back home and buy a home here, belittling me, etc 

[Daphne . 1,866]

You will need to provide proof of the abuse (text messages, emails, etc.) because the abuse was not physical, is that correct? Do you have police reports, anything?

 

And you need to show proof of having actually lived together, you said the marriage only lasted a few months? 
 

You moved to the US to be with your wife, so selling your house “back home” does not sound too weird though, I had to sell my house as well when I moved. 
 

Was this an arranged marriage or something? How long have you known each other and how many times had you met before getting married?

Edited August 6, 2022 by Daphne .

[Mushtqaue 0]

Hi Daphne, 

She was really smart about not writing anything in texts or emails. It was in person or FaceTime. Our marriage did last a few months but she wanted me to sell my  home in Asia and buy a new home before she will move in with me. No option to rent an apartment apartment and grow together. That was a family home. 

 

We did open a bank account together. We have travel pictures together and a grand wedding ceremony. 

 

I did not move to USA to be with my Wife. I was already here on a student visa. My family had a home here. 

We were introduced thru her auntie but we clicked right away and fell in love. Her parents were very against it because I did not have a green card so she stopped talking but messaged me later that she would like to continue talking to me behind her parents as she felt the connection too! 

 

[Pinkrlion 2,723]

1 hour ago, Mushtqaue said:

So my wedding was was for few months but very toxic. My wife lived with her parents in Houston and I was in Dallas. She was yet to move here and we met on weekends. Her parents were very conservative and said we will move in after we have the religious wedding and the American legal wedding does not count. However, my Lawyer told me to write this and that we did not live together. I got RFE saying that I need to prove residence and also extreme cruelty without co-living. We only were together on weekends and vacations. How do I write my Story? My ex was a victim mentality and very dominating. Wanted me to sell my home back home and buy a home here, belittling me, etc 

How did you file VAWA if you did not live together since marriage?  

[Mushtqaue 0]

There can be abuse without living together. We as a couple were meeting on weekends, taking trips. 

[Rocio0010 5,579]

11 minutes ago, Mushtqaue said:

There can be abuse without living together. We as a couple were meeting on weekends, taking trips. 

Right. But how do you prove that without text messages?

[Pinkrlion 2,723]

21 minutes ago, Mushtqaue said:

There can be abuse without living together. We as a couple were meeting on weekends, taking trips. 

In this instance it would be considered a U visa and should have called the police and filed charges.  

[Family 3,988]

3 hours ago, Mushtqaue said:

She was really smart about not writing anything in texts or emails. It was in person or FaceTime. Our marriage did last a few months but she wanted me to sell my  home in Asia and buy a new home before she will move in with me. No option to rent an apartment apartment and grow together. That was a family home. 

 

We did open a bank account together. We have travel pictures together and a grand wedding ceremony. 

 

I did not move to USA to be with my Wife. I was already here on a student visa. My family had a home here. 

IF I were to pick apart the story told at filing , here is a hypothetical pick-a-part on just one detail  , for the sole purpose of showing weakness, possible problems::
 

On the one hand you say there was a “ grand wedding “ while also saying when wedding was planned you were not able to incorporate a “ religious ceremony “ …

 

I of course read “ grand wedding “ as an event with guests ( parents of groom and bride present) or even a modest affair in a church , temple, mosque or pandemic garden quickie can / could include a religious minister/ imam/ clergy/ …etc. 

 

Once you know parents of the bride , object to “ American Wedding “ and will “forbid “ their daughter to “ live with” new husband doesn’t it make sense that you have a Priest / Imam / Rabbi on speed dial? 
 

In laws objection on religious grounds is also not credible because it seems they allowed daughter to take honeymoon style fun trips and be a weekend wife..

 

[Daphne . 1,866]

3 hours ago, Mushtqaue said:

Hi Daphne, 

She was really smart about not writing anything in texts or emails. It was in person or FaceTime. Our marriage did last a few months but she wanted me to sell my  home in Asia and buy a new home before she will move in with me. No option to rent an apartment apartment and grow together. That was a family home. 

 

We did open a bank account together. We have travel pictures together and a grand wedding ceremony. 

 

I did not move to USA to be with my Wife. I was already here on a student visa. My family had a home here. 

We were introduced thru her auntie but we clicked right away and fell in love. Her parents were very against it because I did not have a green card so she stopped talking but messaged me later that she would like to continue talking to me behind her parents as she felt the connection too! 

 

Thanks for clarifying.

 

it looks like you are not able to provide USCIS with the information they requested in the RFE then? 
 

I am not an expert on this topic, so I hope other members will chime in, but I don’t see how you will be able to overcome this hurdle. 

[Mushtqaue 0]

Yes. Even though it has been extremely hard and diagnosed with depression. I am unable to prove extreme cruelty. Even though over two years later I cant seem to be the same person or fall in love either and lost hope on a lot things in life. 

[Family 3,988]

Realistically your predicament now is no different than at filing . Did the attorney tell you it’s rough waters ahead. 
 

Did you file I-130/ I-485 before filing I-360 ?  Am trying to find silver lining to this cloud of yours 
 

 

[Mushtqaue 0]

Yes they did say that. But I do not want to give up. A lot on stake for me. 

Yes my ex did file I-130 / i485 for me and pulled it out as soon as I received my work permit in Dec 2019. Was never handed over to me though. Then my lawyer filed i485 with I-360. 

 

 

[Family 3,988]

1 minute ago, Mushtqaue said:

Yes they did say that. But I do not want to give up. A lot on stake for me. 

Yes my ex did file I-130 / i485 for me and pulled it out as soon as I received my work permit in Dec 2019. Was never handed over to me though. Then my lawyer filed i485 with I-360. 

 

Well, hopefully your lawyer filed the 2nd I-485 w fee waiver because there was zero need for it.
A simple letter to USCIS stating “ I am pursuing VAWA “ would have been sufficient and USCIS holds the I-485 in abeyance ( on hold). 

Though you surely can respond to RFE without an attorney, getting competent, experienced legal help increases your chances. …because financial disagreements ( sell overseas house or I won’t move in w u..example), ..a domineering personality description won’t cut it.  

Talk to at least 3 VAWA attorneys , worth the consult fee to get a better perspective of what you can do…there are usually non-profit groups as well if budget is tight. 
 

Search , read through and post to VJ VAWA thread to find on going stories 

[Family 3,988]

1 hour ago, Mushtqaue said:

Yes. Even though it has been extremely hard and diagnosed with depression. I am unable to prove extreme cruelty. Even though over two years later I cant seem to be the same person or fall in love either and lost hope on a lot things in life. 

Your bigger problem is that you can’t prove the marriage and you need to work hard on not getting denial on grounds of entering it for immigration benefits.

Did she file for divorce? 

[SalishSea 17,836]

10 hours ago, Mushtqaue said:

So my wedding was was for few months but very toxic. My wife lived with her parents in Houston and I was in Dallas. She was yet to move here and we met on weekends. Her parents were very conservative and said we will move in after we have the religious wedding and the American legal wedding does not count. However, my Lawyer told me to write this and that we did not live together. I got RFE saying that I need to prove residence and also extreme cruelty without co-living. We only were together on weekends and vacations. How do I write my Story? My ex was a victim mentality and very dominating. Wanted me to sell my home back home and buy a home here, belittling me, etc 

One of the requirements for VAWA is to have lived together.  It appears that you do not qualify.