What are the implications of K1 visa Marriage falls apart?

[Timona 4,207]

I'm not sure how practical my advise is, but I'll put it here anyway. When you get her the tickets, pay some law enforcement or airline employee to make sure she boards by keeping an eye from a distant. The employees at the place where you drop your bag are the same ones who'll go help board, especially for international flights. Talk to one, take their number, pay them a little eg $100 and have them keep an eye at boarding and if possible, send you a picture of her boarding. 

 

When you drop her off, keep an eye at the TSA place, make sure she goes by and stand there till you get confirmation from your spy that she boarded. Don't leave the TSA  place that you're standing till you track that plane online that it departed. Then leave, albeit with a peaceful mind. 

 

You don't want her to make a U turn, your money is wasted and she becomes a thorn. Yes, she can decline to board at the boarding gate and make a U turn. I really doubt she wants to go back to Ukraine. Traffic is moving away from that area, not towards. 

 

As others have pointed, I know you don't have funds, but if possible, put it on credit or borrow. The more you keep her, the more $$ you spend to house them and feed all of them. Additionally, she may get bad advice from FB and attempt the VAWA route. I'd get her out as of yesterday. She has a lawyer now. So even if she leaves, you deal with her lawyer who you will hold responsible. 

 

For tickets, don't go to specific sites. Go to "Google flights." It pulls data from all sites and gives you the cheapest. 

Edited September 4, 2022 by Timona

[Silentcloud 25]

14 hours ago, TBoneTX said:

Google variations of (for example) "divorced men groups"; "support for divorced men"; "men hosed by international divorce" (well, use whatever word works).  To identify groups local to you, add your city name (or biggest nearby city name):  "divorced men groups Atlanta".

 

You'll almost certainly come up with many choices, perhaps including discussion forums.  Let us know what you find.

Thanks much and will do.

[Silentcloud 25]

12 hours ago, laylalex said:

Sometimes you have to spend good money to avoid shelling out the bad stuff later on. It may cost $6k to get her out now, but it will cost more than $6k to contest the divorce. Spend a fixed amount now and turn off the tap. 

 

If you have decent credit, there are plenty of cards out now with 0% interest for 15-18 months (I should know -- I get junk mail from them nearly every day). Charge the premium economy tickets and pay them off over the interest-free period. You have a big house and no way to get out of the lease? Roommates, if your lease allows it. Yes, it may feel like a step down at this stage in your life, but you can handle 8-9 months living with someone else if it lessens financial strain. Tighten your belt and get over the hump.

 

And don't forget that friends and family are priceless at times like these -- I'm not talking about money, but about the support you will need to heal from this situation. Open your heart and you might be surprised how many others open their hearts to you. I was really embarrassed talking to people about what was going on in my life when my ex and I split up, and I assumed everyone would say "I told you so" but hardly anyone did (even if they thought it). 

 

Things could be worse, a LOT worse, and I suspect you know that. I know it stings to give someone who is a terrible human being the satisfaction of "winning" but sometimes it's not a win at all, not in the long run. Best of luck to you. 

 

Your post is the highlight for my situation. Thanks much! I'm determined and poised to do just that. Get them out of here ASAP. I cannot get roommates or sub-lease it as per the lease but I'll check the language in the lease again and I'm flexible so a roommate shouldn't burden me too much. I didn't mention about this whole ordeal to neither friends or family as they might stop or make fun of me or think of me as too adventurous/crazy and stop me in the tracks saying that don't date, trust and marry someone international so I maintained it a secret till date. I haven't invited anyone for the wedding. I wanted this to be successful first and then on the first anniversary I thought of telling everyone but now I better let it go to the grave with me. So, now I cannot go to them to discuss the same. I'm very thankful to all the people here who are total strangers supporting me and offering help in their own way. 

 

I don't want a thankless person in my life who says I'm the best husband and connection and a great father to her kids one day and the very next day says that I'm a very selfish person and humiliates me. Even after all this I have distaste of her in my mind but still have love for her and the kids in my heart. After 10 years of loneliness I took this step of sharing my life with a Ukrainian woman as what my friend did 5 years ago and is very happy with her. The only difference is that my friend's wife didn't have kids before marriage and have kids now with my friend. He supported her to be a doctor and now she is a practicing Gynecologist. Looking at that them I thought I should do the same i.e marrying an Ukrainian woman but made a mistake of bringing a mother of two and cared for them as my own kids. I always kept my needs way lower than theirs and attended to them first.

 

With all this going on and no one to talk to I was at home locked in my room sulking and hating my fate all of yesterday and the night before. She along with her kids went partying along with the FB friends I helped her to connect on Friday afternoon till late night and then Saturday early AM and till late evening. Don't know how one can be so casual about all this but at least I knew how easy it is for her to break a man emotionally and financially and feel no pinch about it and have fun on the side. At 51 it's very hard to think that I'll stay single and die alone one day and I hope that day comes sooner than later.

 

I definitely need support and I'll look for local men's groups as suggested. For now I'm going to the park and sit there for sometime to get some fresh air. Thanks again to you and to all the people to support a total stranger like me.

Edited September 4, 2022 by Silentcloud

[Silentcloud 25]

8 hours ago, Timona said:

I'm not sure how practical my advise is, but I'll put it here anyway. When you get her the tickets, pay some law enforcement or airline employee to make sure she boards by keeping an eye from a distant. The employees at the place where you drop your bag are the same ones who'll go help board, especially for international flights. Talk to one, take their number, pay them a little eg $100 and have them keep an eye at boarding and if possible, send you a picture of her boarding. 

 

When you drop her off, keep an eye at the TSA place, make sure she goes by and stand there till you get confirmation from your spy that she boarded. Don't leave the TSA  place that you're standing till you track that plane online that it departed. Then leave, albeit with a peaceful mind. 

 

You don't want her to make a U turn, your money is wasted and she becomes a thorn. Yes, she can decline to board at the boarding gate and make a U turn. I really doubt she wants to go back to Ukraine. Traffic is moving away from that area, not towards. 

 

As others have pointed, I know you don't have funds, but if possible, put it on credit or borrow. The more you keep her, the more $$ you spend to house them and feed all of them. Additionally, she may get bad advice from FB and attempt the VAWA route. I'd get her out as of yesterday. She has a lawyer now. So even if she leaves, you deal with her lawyer who you will hold responsible. 

 

For tickets, don't go to specific sites. Go to "Google flights." It pulls data from all sites and gives you the cheapest. 

Thanks for the advise but I don't think I can do that. She will not make a U turn as she hates everything about the US compared to Ukraine. Secondly, as my car is broke I cannot drive them to the airport and will book Uber. I'll tell her to send me a message when she gets on the international flight and also after she lands at the destination. Yes, I'm going to get her out ASAP. Yes, I'm using Google flights.

[Family 4,010]

55 minutes ago, Silentcloud said:

definitely need support and I'll look for local men's groups as suggested. For now I'm going to the park and sit there for sometime to get some fresh air. Thanks again to you and to all the people to support a total stranger like me.

In the meantime, if you feel inclined to GIVE and GET a bit more support, I do hope you feel free to keep posting. 
 

You can try a thread/topic in Off Topic on the subject…plenty here with fresh or healed battle wounds of the heart..

[Silentcloud 25]

2 hours ago, Family said:

In the meantime, if you feel inclined to GIVE and GET a bit more support, I do hope you feel free to keep posting. 
 

You can try a thread/topic in Off Topic on the subject…plenty here with fresh or healed battle wounds of the heart..

Sure about getting and also giving and will do as I get settled mentally.

[carmel34 3,635]

5 hours ago, Silentcloud said:

At 51 it's very hard to think that I'll stay single and die alone one day and I hope that day comes sooner than later.

I can relate to your pain, but once you get through this and she is back in Europe, and the divorce process plays out and is final, you will be able to start the healing process and take care of yourself.  I went through a very difficult divorce at age 58, and had similar feelings as you do now, but then when I least expected it, I found true love at age 60 and have been happily married for 4 years.  Don't give up hope, take care of YOU, and the future will get better.  All the best to you.

[Eric-Pris 1,606]

One way flights to Warsaw, Poland are under $500 per person from most places, not sure where you are located.  And most are under 15 hours.  Premium Economy just about doubles the price and more.

[Eric-Pris 1,606]

11 minutes ago, Eric-Pris said:

One way flights to Warsaw, Poland are under $500 per person from most places, not sure where you are located.  And most are under 15 hours.  Premium Economy just about doubles the price and more.

To add:  This for a flight TOMORROW.  Short term tickets aren't as pricey as you think anymore.  In fact, you can get great last minute deals because of high gas prices airline prefer to give seats away dirt cheap rather than fly with empty seats.

[Silentcloud 25]

On 9/4/2022 at 3:05 PM, carmel34 said:

I can relate to your pain, but once you get through this and she is back in Europe, and the divorce process plays out and is final, you will be able to start the healing process and take care of yourself.  I went through a very difficult divorce at age 58, and had similar feelings as you do now, but then when I least expected it, I found true love at age 60 and have been happily married for 4 years.  Don't give up hope, take care of YOU, and the future will get better.  All the best to you.

Thanks much for sharing your story. I'm presently not interested to have another relationship but time will tell. I had a detailed talk with her yesterday and talked about my financial situation too and she agreed to an economy ticket and I trusted her and bought the tickets yesterday and she signed all the documents today. Sent the scanned copy to my attorney to double check before I ship them to him to file with the court. She still says that I'm a very good person and don't want to lose me and want to continue the long distance relationship as how we did before she came here. She is a good person at heart as well but due to the ego rupture she had been so hard on me. She also said that this divorce is just on paper and our relationship with continue as before. Time will tell.

[Silentcloud 25]

3 hours ago, Eric-Pris said:

To add:  This for a flight TOMORROW.  Short term tickets aren't as pricey as you think anymore.  In fact, you can get great last minute deals because of high gas prices airline prefer to give seats away dirt cheap rather than fly with empty seats.

Thanks but I cannot buy the ticket one day before but need to have some lead time to get all the paperwork done. I got the economy ticket for her and her kids 2 weeks out at $770 a piece and she agreed to it. The same ticket was $500+ a few days back but it jumped in price when I bought yesterday but I didn't think twice as it is way less than $6k. Hope everything goes good and she will be back in Ukraine soon and be happy.

[Eric-Pris 1,606]

You can always look at the price graph on google flights to see prices on other days without trying each date individually.

 

 

Edited September 6, 2022 by Eric-Pris

[TBoneTX 45,329]

10 hours ago, Silentcloud said:

she signed all the documents today

This is promising.  Let's hope that all is in order and that her mood and mind don't change again.

[Silentcloud 25]

Finally, I could send my wife and her kids back to Ukraine. They reached their city in Ukraine safely. The divorce has been filed with the court and may take a couple of months to get the decree. At the time of her leaving she was crying and says she still love me and she is ending the marriage only on paper as I wanted it and want to continue the relationship. She said she is leaving because she hates US lifestyle.

[TBoneTX 45,329]

Good for you -- thanks for the update.

Take time to heal and regain your real self.