What are the implications of K1 visa Marriage falls apart?

[Silentcloud 25]

3 hours ago, Family said:

That hurts. I feel for you. 
There are many on VJ that are well versed  AND posses a “ Special Set of Skills “ in divorce/family law, I hope they read your post and jump in. 
 

I say: 

Diid you properly serve her ? Or just have her look papers over…I hope you served. 
 

Buy the tickets for her ASASP, without further talks/ negotiations between the two of you.
It’s tough since she is still in the home…but STOP discussing terms with her…just say your heart is broken and that you are sure the court will settle fairly for everyone. 
THEN stop communicating on anything divorce related…YOU will be ok .
 

IT will be less costly for you IF she leaves .

Once filed and served, she needs to figure out a way to pay her own attorney or DIY it…even if she is outside the country, Court can accommodate in her appearance by zoom. …

 

 

 

Not getting the papers served as it is an uncontested divorce and living in the same house. Once I buy the tickets and see her off then that's about it. She will not bother to do anything regarding the divorce and I have to go through publication route to get the divorce which would be much more expensive as suggested by my lawyer. I'm ready to buy the tickets but only if she signs the documents. She doubts that I would ever buy the tickets for her even though I delivered on every promise I made to her. Based on this my lawyer included the line saying that I'll be buying the tickets within 10 days of signing the documents. This is a legally binding document. Still she is holding on her word of me buying the tickets ahead which is extremely risky to me. She will just leave and I'll be stuck with the expensive divorce proceedings. She is considered married in the US but not in Ukraine. She will get back to her old single life and there is not even a single document in Ukrainian that says that she is married to me. Better to make her sign the documents and get her the tickets. She said she will talk with her lawyer and get back.

[Silentcloud 25]

56 minutes ago, Boiler said:

K1 not adjusted so only the I 134. Sounds like the FB guidance she is getting is I 864 related.

Good thing is that I got all the paperwork ready for the AOS but didn't sign or submit it to USCIS so I-864 doesn't apply to me. On FB she will run into all kinds of people who are not lawyers and just know how a regular divorce works in the US.

[Adventine 3,196]

@Silentcloud good that you haven't submitted the AOS paperwork yet. 

 

On FB, there are also expat groups where she can get advice from Ukranian women who are also K1 visa holders. Such groups are fairly common on FB. She could be getting advice from women who have been in her exact situation. 

[Silentcloud 25]

1 hour ago, Strawberrymermaid said:

Im really sorry this happened. My marriage also didn't work out but I realized before he got to the US that we were not a good fit.

 

Has she been officially served? I tried to serve my ex in Russia via email and hoped he would waive service but he did not so I'm having to jump through hoops to officially serve him. I would confirm with your lawyer that they can be officially served as her being back in Ukraine will greatly complicate that. It sounds like if she wants a lawyer and isn't going to sign then it might not be uncontested. I am dealing with the same. I am going to have to pay my ex husband to settle even though we never lived together and were only married 16 months. Its insane. 

 

Did you sign I-864?

I'm sorry about your situation which seems more complicated than me. This is exactly what I'm worried of so want to get her sign the documents before she leaves. I have shared the settlement agreement with her. Don't know how but she already got a lawyer for her and he/she is guiding her. I'll wait for her to come back to me after talking to her lawyer about the tickets. I'll not pay a dime to this woman on whom I spent 1000's of dollars to bring her and her kids here and has no respect or value about that. I haven't signed the I-864 so I'm saved. I'm married for 2.5 months and it's good it is failing so early. I just want to get rid of her and her kids and put them on a flight back to wherever they want to go i.e Poland. Don't know why you have to pay your ex when you guys haven't lived together at all. Did you lawyer suggested that? 

[Silentcloud 25]

1 minute ago, Adventine said:

@Silentcloud good that you haven't submitted the AOS paperwork yet. 

 

On FB, there are also expat groups where she can get advice from Ukranian women who are also K1 visa holders. Such groups are fairly common on FB. She could be getting advice from women who have been in her exact situation. 

Yeah, maybe. I have consulted 3 attorneys and all of them said that she will not get a dime in alimony but I can offer buy her the flight tickets.

[Boiler 45,527]

Alimony seems unlikely but the cost of the Divorce Settlement is another matter.

 

You position improves significantly once she has gone home.

 

I have seen mention of no end of self help groups, never tracked them down but I am sure they are out there.

[Family 3,988]

48 minutes ago, Silentcloud said:

I'll wait for her to come back to me after talking to her lawyer about the tickets

Post anytime ..questions, frustrations or just a little healthy venting, whatever the day throws at you. Must be awkward for the children, but you are truly a good human.
 

[Silentcloud 25]

Please find attached what she is demand ing now. She met a lawyer in person and this is what she got. She might have used Ukrainian war victim card and got a lawyer on her side for free. Also, she says that I should write that the agreement will become legal on the day of her travel to Poland. Premium economy ticket within 15hrs of travel from Atlanta will cost anywhere between $1600 - $1800 per person and I have to get 3 tickets. I cannot afford that and I'm afraid I have to go the contested route which will also be expensive. Just a crooked womanbtrying to take advantage of me. What an expensive mistake to get in an international relationship and trust her so much. I'm highly stressed out.

[TBoneTX 45,309]

She and her lawyer have some nerve demanding the type and class of airline tickets.  The two of them can take a long walk off a short pier.  They're in no position to make demands.  This strikes me as tantamount to blackmail.

 

Tell your lawyer to play hardball -- or, to become nasty.  If he won't or can't do it, hire a true legal tiger.

 

Your sole goal should be to get her out of the house and out of the country, ASAP, and on your terms.  Buy refundable tickets and send them all off, and may the door hit her in the butt on the way out.  Deal with the divorce part later.

 

Your life will improve when you remove the toxicity, meaning her presence.  Quit worrying about details and simply flush her, as a priority.

[TBoneTX 45,309]

Another reason for getting her out of the house is potential VAWA claims.

[Ontarkie 14,227]

Have you spoke to her about it?

Her lawyer is doing the same thing your lawyer did. You want her to sign before she leaves, so her lawyer up the anti and wants better faster flight for her. 

 

Just tell her you will buy the tickets you can afford. Don't push her to sign anything before doing it. Just get her and the kids on that plane. 

 

I do not know the divorce process here.  In Canada me handing my ex the divorce papers counted as being served. Talk to your lawyer about what counts as being served, but don't try to keep her here until she signs. 

 

And yes she would still be married in her own Country they recognize US marriages. Might want to remind her of that. She will not be single when she gets back home. 

[Family 3,988]

2 hours ago, Silentcloud said:

I'm highly stressed out

No $ amount can heal the hurt you are going through. ..and am sure you would have begged or borrowed to make their 3 adjustment filing fee happen without a single regret…

 

You know she just couldn’t be happy and her stay here was stressing her out…and prolonging it not worth sanity…..so I think at this point you have made incredible progress if she signs and all she asks is for is a comfy  ticket.

 

 

 

[Adventine 3,196]

The flights are only a bit more expensive than the money you would have paid to file their Adjustment of Status packages (and the expenses of supporting them here in the US while waiting for your wife's work permit). 

 

 

[Silentcloud 25]

10 hours ago, TBoneTX said:

She and her lawyer have some nerve demanding the type and class of airline tickets.  The two of them can take a long walk off a short pier.  They're in no position to make demands.  This strikes me as tantamount to blackmail.

 

Tell your lawyer to play hardball -- or, to become nasty.  If he won't or can't do it, hire a true legal tiger.

 

Your sole goal should be to get her out of the house and out of the country, ASAP, and on your terms.  Buy refundable tickets and send them all off, and may the door hit her in the butt on the way out.  Deal with the divorce part later.

 

Your life will improve when you remove the toxicity, meaning her presence.  Quit worrying about details and simply flush her, as a priority.

I have the same feeling as what you mentioned here. She made me spend all of my savings to get her here and have very little in my bank and wanted to spend that on the AOS. With the recession around the corner there are high chances I might lose my job as a contractor. I have taken this 3 BR independent house paying a huge rent and also bought all the furniture, appliances needed. My lease is till May 2023 and I'll be paying this huge rent in this 3 BR house living just by myself which I really don't need. Paid 6 months rent as deposit and the lease breakage terms are awful. My camry has an engine problem and making pushrod noise and might die at any time. If I spend the little money in the savings on her fancy flight tickets then I just cannot survive the period in the vent of job loss. She just crushed me to near death. I don't travel myself in premium economy and go by regular economy. In her country she travels in non-airconditioned bus or train. She came with iphone 7 and as my mobile carrier rejected to provide service to that old mobile I bought her a brand new iphone 13. 3 days back she said she is the difficult one and I'm a good man, good husband and a good father to her kids. Just because I talked to my lawyer in a locked room she suspects that I'm cooking up something against her. There is nothing like common property, bank accounts, credit cards etc so it's a simple straightforward divorce.

 

I have asked her to wait after filing the divorce till end of Sept just to make sure that the court has no objections to what we have filed and if she needs to sign any document the court might ask later but she wanted to go back urgently and have all these over the top crazy demands. I have communicated to my lawyer and waiting for him to respond. Being good has always punished me big time in this world of opportunists and deceivers. Man has to pay for all the expenses and at the end woman says she is not interested and wants a divorce all the hard earned money spent on the woman are discarded and she will get paid on top of it and man has to cut his losses. Same goes if woman is in man's shoes making the money. It feels that marriage is a curse for me and my likes.

[Silentcloud 25]

10 hours ago, TBoneTX said:

Another reason for getting her out of the house is potential VAWA claims.

How does this VAWA (domestic violence) claims work? There is no physical or mental abuse or denying shelter or food or any other necessities. Even after all this today being Friday I'm going to ask her to text me what she needs from the grocery store to bring home. Do you mean fake VAWA claims? If woman is making fake ones does she not prove them in court with evidence? When none of that has ever happened how can her claim stand in the eyes of the court?