Time Frames: How could she do this?

[Boiler 45,525]

Sounds to me she knew exactly what she was doing all along and you got the bad end of the deal. Sorry this happened to you.

I would say he got the good end, the other guy has got the bad end.

[Aymerlu 3]

Sounds to me she knew exactly what she was doing all along and you got the bad end of the deal. Sorry this happened to you.

I would say he got the good end, the other guy has got the bad end.

Well, yah, that's what I meant in my own slang!

[Me 2 3]

OK, look. Ya'll have given me much too respond to but it's a nice day and i don't see me sitting at this computer explaining this story. I hope that you will stay tuned in and i will respond ASAP. As i have said there is much conflicting & confusing info. that i have found over the last 3 months. So this is why i must pursue the truth. My first reaction was the same as everyone else that heard some of the story, but when they heard the whole story, well they walked away scratching their head.

I am new with this forum and haven't really looked into what it's about, so i have to ask, am i off base with this topic? Perhaps i should be writing to Dr. Laura instead.

So check back, at least so that i can explain that i am not gullible and haven't been "played".

bp

(Luis & Laura, you ask this:

How do you know she´s in the US if she hasn´t contacted you?) I and some Russian girl friends of mine have been given this information when we call looking for her. But no one says that she has married. Just that she is in USA.

[Ladylethal 12]

I see, well, from the much you have told us so far, we´ve told you the possibilities. Hope it has helped.

[Miranda&James 8]

Well, this forum mainly deals with marriage based visas and there is NO way she could have gotten a Spousal visa (assuming she married a US citizen) to live in the US legally and permanently in 4-5 weeks, nor could she have gotten engaged to someone and gotten a fiance visa to come to the USA and marry and live her permanently and legally. I would agree with others that she must have either had or gotten a tourist visa (don't know how long those take to get but I assume a lot less time than a visa to immigrate to the USA!).

[PorknBeanz 0]

I agree with evrything that's been said so far. She must have already had a visa, or was expecting it very soon. But the chances of a single Russian woman getting a tourist visa for the US are just about zero. She would need to have a house in Russia, a minor child in Russia, a job, and some assets all tied to Russia, just to have a 1 in 10 chance of a tourist visa.

The other option is that she snuck across the border and needs to lay low for awhile. But in any case, if she's not contacting you, it's time to move on.

[Boiler 45,525]

I agree with evrything that's been said so far. She must have already had a visa, or was expecting it very soon. But the chances of a single Russian woman getting a tourist visa for the US are just about zero. She would need to have a house in Russia, a minor child in Russia, a job, and some assets all tied to Russia, just to have a 1 in 10 chance of a tourist visa.

The other option is that she snuck across the border and needs to lay low for awhile. But in any case, if she's not contacting you, it's time to move on.

Agree with all the above.

6 months would be normal from start to finish for a K1/3, assuming Vermont Office, longer elsewhere.

A Visitors Visa in that time frame is possible, you may know if she had even the vaguest chance of getting one.

For example she might have a senior position in a US Multinational, that would probably work.

[Me 2 3]

OK, i'm back with more of this story. I do appreciate all the input you've given me. I have realized many of the mistakes i've made with my involvement with Mila (44). But we learn from our mistakes. Mila's mistake was not telling me what was going on. Telling me she would contact me as soon as she got settled in her new location and got internet service. When verifying my contact information, she also wanted me to confirm where i lived to her. I thought it an odd request, but told her she had it correct.

I always told her to communicate with other guy's so she would know if i was the right one for her. And i could see with the agency that she was listed with that she was always active (they post a date of last visit to the site), and she was active all the way up to Dec. 3rd when she went to St. Pete for a 2 week vacation. If she was so involved with someone enough to marry them then why was she always active with this agency? Surely not to communicate with him. She and i stopped writing to each other thru the agency about 2 weeks after we met and started using our personal email addresses. Anyway, for me this is only one of the confusing pieces to this confusing puzzle. I've since gotten some Russian girl "friends" involved with this for language problems and also for their opinions. They've made several phone calls to her old residence and last place of employment. When asking about Mila no one says she got married, just that she is in USA. You would think that if she married they would say so. When Irina ask someone directly about it, they avoided answering the question. Finally weeks later we are told that she got married. We've been told that she put in her notice to quit her job on Jan. 10th. I was told on Jan. 4th she was in USA. We've also been told she was fired. More conflicting information. One person even said they were worried that she didn't make it to the US.

Mila told me she was going to keep her apartment, not sell it, in case she moves back to her city in a year or so. I can't understand why she would keep her apartment if she was getting married and moving to US. She had made a few comments starting in Sept. about problems with her job (she had been there 7 years and i believe it was a good paying job) so when she told me that they had gone out of business and closed in Dec. while she was in St. Pete on her vacation or right after she got back, well i had no reason to doubt this. We have found this place to still be in business, if it is the right place. I'm sure that Mila did not expect me to do all this investigating, and possibly word has reached her that me and my friends have called looking for her. As i have said earlier, we have known each other for 1 year. I always found her to be an honest and sincere person, with a wonderful personality and great sense of humor. You can learn alot about a person in a year. NO, we have never met, but i was going in May and she knew this. We put alot of effort into this relationship, emailing all the time and phone calls twice a week that could last for several hours. Despite the problems understanding each other at times, we got along very well. And because of this year of learning about each other we had become good friends, which seems to me a good way to start a long lasting future together. In our last phone conversation, the day before she was to move to St. Pete, Dec. 24th, she was rather emotional, a side of her i had never seen before. It was a sad moment. She tried not to show these emotions but was unable to. She told me she had friends coming to see her and say goodbye which had her upset to some degree, of course. But i have wondered that if she was still at her job till Jan. 10th why were friends coming to say goodbye to her 2 weeks in advance? Anyway, i wanted to be some comfort to her about this, so i say some things to her that only bring out more emotion. Women may be able to fake somethings, but theres no faking this stuff. It was real.

Also, it was in Oct. that she had received a notice from the Army that they wanted her son. She did not like this at all. Commenting in the months to follow of speaking with lawyers and trying to find ways to avoid this. And asking me not to phone on a particular night as planned because she had relatives coming over to discuss important family matters that night. I've wondered if this has something to do with her disappearance? But why not tell me about this instead of leaving me in this darkness to worry about her and her son? As a friend of mine pointed out to me over the weekend that i was probably her first choice, but she may have been desperate for various reasons to get out of Russia. Although i have been confused, disappointed, and angry with her about this, i feel as though i have failed her to some degree. But i am glad that my last words to her where "I love you, Mila", something i never said to her before.

It has also been pointed out to me that she possibly didn't tell me of all this because i was a backup plan in case things didn't work out, that i may still be a backup plan today. Interesting, I've never been anybody's backup plan before. But if she knows that i know some of the truth of this, then whatever it is that she has gotten into falls thru, she may not see me as the backup plan any longer. She will feel too guilty to contact me ever again, i think, but i don't know.

Well this is more than than i had originally planned on getting into, but there where things that ya'll had written that i felt a need to respond to. Please feel free to reply to any of this if you wish. I hope that i've cleared up any confusion that may have exsisted,.... but possibly just caused more.

[Saddle Bronc 124]

Thanks for the input. If you could give a little more it would be helpful.

If she already had this Visa, as suggested, then how long could she have had this?

We have very good relations after one year, why does she not tell me of this?

When we have last phone conversation on Dec. 24th she was very emotional during

conversation and when we say goodbye. I thought it would be 2 weeks max until i

hear from her, apparently she knew something i did not know. She had no internet service

at the relatives home she was moving to in St. Pete., but said she would contact me as soon

as she got it.

Also, she has a 20 year old son. She told me he was moving with her to St. Pete. Did he really come to

US with her? Would that only make it more difficult for her to leave Russia so quickly? More paperwork!

Maybe these questions are difficult to understand, but if you have some suggestions or questions, i will

try to eliminate the confusion, etc.

Thanks, bp

One possibility is that she had already had a multientry visa valid for X amount of time (say 2 years) from issuance, OR a US work visa. Her son COULD come to US if he has a similar visitor visa, OR a dependent (only if mum has work visa--and then only till he turns 21).

But if she did, she should have been forthcoming.