I-864 only enforceable if immigrant gets visa correct?

[Strawberrymermaid 346]

9 minutes ago, Jorgedig said:

Oh no@  Sorry to hear.  Aren't you the ones who met on a cruise?

Yes that was us. Unfortunately we were just not a good match, I did so much heavy lifting in our marriage from paying for all our trips, The paperwork etc. (I originally did k1 and cancelled 7 months in…) combine that with a worldwide pandemic, and a dumpster fire of the Russian war that wasn’t a good foundation for a marriage. 

 

24 minutes ago, Family said:

A quick Google 
 

https://www.legallanguage.com/legal-articles/update-how-to-service-process-in-russia-2018/

I’m hopeful it will be decided an email will suffice as he has already communicated directly through my lawyer through email!! Wow! Also I was not going to offer anywhere near 25k. A couple months ago he left his cruise ship job (even though I did not want him to) to go home and prepare for the interview (that we didn’t have yet). He’s claiming the 25k is for “significant harm and loss” of his lost wages when in reality the lost wages are more around 5k. I was going to offer that as a start. My parents had a long drawn out alimony battle and I’m afraid of the court system at this point and what they may decide. 
 

thank you everyone for your help. This site has always been nothing but helpful and informative for me. 

Edited July 18, 2022 by Strawberrymermaid

[Strawberrymermaid 346]

1 minute ago, Jorgedig said:

I wouldn't give him a dime.  Totally opportunistic money grab.

 

In most cases, 'alimony,' or spousal support is designed to help the spouse with fewer resources to "get back on their feet."  Did you live together, and did you support him financially?  

 

Personally, I'd dig my heels in.  Sounds like it was a short marriage that didn't even progress to living together, and someone wants to harvest the US dollar.

Never lived together and I never supported him day to day financially. I paid for our trips, our wedding, and our paperwork but nothing like rent or food etc. He has some US family - also immigrants- who I believe are somewhat behind the money grab. His mother also “fake married” a man back around 2006 to keep him and his brother in the US on a tourist visa. The marriage crumbled (obviously) and his brother turned 18 before that so he could stay but my former spouse was underage and had to go back to Russia. It was never reported as fake but he told me as such. Not really relevant I guess but gives more backstory. 

[SalishSea 17,803]

Just now, Strawberrymermaid said:

Never lived together and I never supported him day to day financially. I paid for our trips, our wedding, and our paperwork but nothing like rent or food etc. He has some US family - also immigrants- who I believe are somewhat behind the money grab. His mother also “fake married” a man back around 2006 to keep him and his brother in the US on a tourist visa. The marriage crumbled (obviously) and his brother turned 18 before that so he could stay but my former spouse was underage and had to go back to Russia. It was never reported as fake but he told me as such. Not really relevant I guess but gives more backstory. 

Wow.  Beyond ridiculous.  I can't see any US judge awarding him alimony, ever.  He hasn't lost anything (except GC!), he is still home, he isn't unable to work because he's taking care of your kids, etc.

 

You got this, girl.  

 

Another idea:  if his end-game is a GC, isn't it in his best interest to divorce quickly so that he can find the next USC prospect?

[Strawberrymermaid 346]

14 minutes ago, Jorgedig said:

Wow.  Beyond ridiculous.  I can't see any US judge awarding him alimony, ever.  He hasn't lost anything (except GC!), he is still home, he isn't unable to work because he's taking care of your kids, etc.

 

You got this, girl.  

 

Another idea:  if his end-game is a GC, isn't it in his best interest to divorce quickly so that he can find the next USC prospect?

thank you for your kind words ❤️
 

The ONLY thing I can see him claiming with any merit is him quitting his cruise ship contract 5 months early. At the time it was discussed if we had an interview he would go home early, we never had one and he quit anyway. Then went home and spent all the money he made lol. But it was just the contract, he is still rehireable by the company.

 

I think his main objective is to get out of Russia by any means necessary. Can’t say I blame him but it won’t be at my expense. He even tried to blame me for “loss of his international tourist and work visas”. As if I’m wholly responsibly for a worldwide pandemic and closure of the Moscow embassy….
 

I know I have some responsibility in this and wanted this at one point. That point is no longer right now 😂 But I want to get out of this without draining my resources or ruining my life lol.  

[SalishSea 17,803]

21 minutes ago, Strawberrymermaid said:

thank you for your kind words ❤️
 

The ONLY thing I can see him claiming with any merit is him quitting his cruise ship contract 5 months early. At the time it was discussed if we had an interview he would go home early, we never had one and he quit anyway. Then went home and spent all the money he made lol. But it was just the contract, he is still rehireable by the company.

 

I think his main objective is to get out of Russia by any means necessary. Can’t say I blame him but it won’t be at my expense. He even tried to blame me for “loss of his international tourist and work visas”. As if I’m wholly responsibly for a worldwide pandemic and closure of the Moscow embassy….
 

I know I have some responsibility in this and wanted this at one point. That point is no longer right now 😂 But I want to get out of this without draining my resources or ruining my life lol.  

Totally reasonable.

 

I'm sure lots of people want out of Russia, but it is not your job to facilitate that for him.

[Redro 4,611]

6 hours ago, Strawberrymermaid said:

Yes that was us. Unfortunately we were just not a good match, I did so much heavy lifting in our marriage from paying for all our trips, The paperwork etc. (I originally did k1 and cancelled 7 months in…) combine that with a worldwide pandemic, and a dumpster fire of the Russian war that wasn’t a good foundation for a marriage. 

 

I’m hopeful it will be decided an email will suffice as he has already communicated directly through my lawyer through email!! Wow! Also I was not going to offer anywhere near 25k. A couple months ago he left his cruise ship job (even though I did not want him to) to go home and prepare for the interview (that we didn’t have yet). He’s claiming the 25k is for “significant harm and loss” of his lost wages when in reality the lost wages are more around 5k. I was going to offer that as a start. My parents had a long drawn out alimony battle and I’m afraid of the court system at this point and what they may decide. 
 

thank you everyone for your help. This site has always been nothing but helpful and informative for me. 

 

5 hours ago, Strawberrymermaid said:

thank you for your kind words ❤️
 

The ONLY thing I can see him claiming with any merit is him quitting his cruise ship contract 5 months early. At the time it was discussed if we had an interview he would go home early, we never had one and he quit anyway. Then went home and spent all the money he made lol. But it was just the contract, he is still rehireable by the company.

 

I think his main objective is to get out of Russia by any means necessary. Can’t say I blame him but it won’t be at my expense. He even tried to blame me for “loss of his international tourist and work visas”. As if I’m wholly responsibly for a worldwide pandemic and closure of the Moscow embassy….
 

I know I have some responsibility in this and wanted this at one point. That point is no longer right now 😂 But I want to get out of this without draining my resources or ruining my life lol.  

He can't claim you are the reason he quit his job and while waiting for the interview.Unless he has evidence you convinced him to quit 5 months early. Do you have conversations related to work in writing or was it over the phone/video chat?

NVC has clear instructions to not quit a job, buy tickets or sell property until visa is in hand... so I am sure you can fight that battle easily. 

 

You should look at serving him by posting a notice in a newspaper as @Family. And maybe have a consult with a  family lawyer based in Tennessee who is more familiar with international divorce. They might have some creative solutions that might bypass having to involve your husband. The process might be a little more drawn out as he won't respond to the summons but the divorce should be fairly straightforward as you have no children and I assume no joint assets. 

 

@Strawberrymermaid I am so sorry to hear about this latest development in your relationship. I always found your posts so helpful and inspiring and I loved your tenacity in fighting for your marriage and all the expedite requests ❤️ I wish you all the best in your journey.

 

 

[carmel34 3,620]

I recommend that you find a very good divorce attorney, with experience in international divorces (one spouse living overseas), to protect your financial assets.  The short length of the marriage, never lived together in the US, one spouse in Russia, etc., would all be considered by a family court judge and your attorney can advise you on what the likely outcome would be if he contests the divorce.  To contest, he may have to hire a US attorney and that could be expensive and drawn out, so he may be willing to agree to a modest amount and settle.  Maybe try a virtual mediation to negotiate if that is possible.  Yours is not a typical divorce situation, so I doubt that alimony would be required, and the I-864 is irrelevant.  Sorry that the relationship did not work out, and I wish you all the best!

What factors will the court consider in determining Tennessee alimony?

Here are Tennessee’s alimony factors:

• The relative earning capacity, obligations, needs, and financial resources of each party, including income from pension, profit-sharing or retirement plans and all other sources;
• The relative education and training of each party, the ability and opportunity of each party to secure such education and training, and the necessity of a party to secure further education and training to improve such party’s earning capacity to a reasonable level;
• The duration of the marriage;
• The age and mental condition of each party;
• The physical condition of each party, including, but not limited to, physical disability or incapacity due to a chronic, debilitating disease;
• The extent to which it would be undesirable for a party to seek employment outside the home because such party will be custodian of a minor child of the marriage;
• The separate assets of each party, both real and personal, tangible and intangible;
• The marital property division;
• The standard of living of the parties established during the marriage;
• The extent to which each party has made such tangible and intangible contributions to the marriage as monetary and homemaker contributions, and tangible and intangible contributions by a party to the education, training or increased earning power of the other party;
• The relative fault of the parties (who is more to blame) in cases where the court, in its discretion, deems it appropriate to do so; and
• Such other factors, including the tax consequences to each party, as are necessary to consider the equities between the parties.

(source: memphisdivorce.com)

Edited July 18, 2022 by carmel34

[JeanneAdil 6,489]

11 hours ago, Jorgedig said:

I wouldn't give him a dime.  Totally opportunistic money grab.

 

In most cases, 'alimony,' or spousal support is designed to help the spouse with fewer resources to "get back on their feet."  Did you live together, and did you support him financially?  

 

Personally, I'd dig my heels in.  Sounds like it was a sh ort marriage that didn't even progress to living together, and someone wants to harvest the US dollar.

i wouldn't either

there is no way to guarantee he'll sign divorce papers after getting  any amount of money

he can then ask for more as u are rich American

In Tennessee the norm is 

1 year of alimony is paid every three years of marriage 

 

If a lawyer told me to pay,  i would fire the lawyer as u have not financially  hurt him by USCIS advice which says "do not sell property or quit a job till u have visa in hand"

 

1.  Send divorce papers thru  paid certified mail and a copy by regular mail/  you have his address

2.  he doesn't sign 

then

Can you get a divorce without the other person signing in TN?

 

In Tennessee, if a spouse will not sign divorce papers after being served, there are still ways to move forward with the divorce. You can file with the court and await an assigned court date. If your spouse does not show up for that court date, the judge will grant a divorce by default judgment.

 

or 

 

. Service via publication: If you know where your spouse is, you can ask the court for permission to serve “by publication.” You’ll pay to post a notice in a local newspaper for a specific number of days, and the court then presumes that the spouse has been served.

 

 

[Strawberrymermaid 346]

1 hour ago, JeanneAdil said:

i wouldn't either

there is no way to guarantee he'll sign divorce papers after getting  any amount of money

he can then ask for more as u are rich American

In Tennessee the norm is 

1 year of alimony is paid every three years of marriage 

 

If a lawyer told me to pay,  i would fire the lawyer as u have not financially  hurt him by USCIS advice which says "do not sell property or quit a job till u have visa in hand"

 

1.  Send divorce papers thru  paid certified mail and a copy by regular mail/  you have his address

2.  he doesn't sign 

then

Can you get a divorce without the other person signing in TN?

 

In Tennessee, if a spouse will not sign divorce papers after being served, there are still ways to move forward with the divorce. You can file with the court and await an assigned court date. If your spouse does not show up for that court date, the judge will grant a divorce by default judgment.

 

or 

 

. Service via publication: If you know where your spouse is, you can ask the court for permission to serve “by publication.” You’ll pay to post a notice in a local newspaper for a specific number of days, and the court then presumes that the spouse has been served.

 

 

Thank you Jeanne! So I was going to offer a couple thousand to settle as part of the divorce - I believe he just wants money in general.  the other issue is that you cannot send ANY mail to Russia at the money. No USPS, DHL, fedex etc 

[JeanneAdil 6,489]

4 minutes ago, Strawberrymermaid said:

Thank you Jeanne! So I was going to offer a couple thousand to settle as part of the divorce - I believe he just wants money in general.  the other issue is that you cannot send ANY mail to Russia at the money. No USPS, DHL, fedex etc 

figures

and if u could,  no guarantee he would get it

 

i wouldn't send any 

it's not in Tennessee laws that says u have to

 

[Sarge2155 4,587]

13 hours ago, Jorgedig said:

I wouldn't give him a dime.  Totally opportunistic money grab.

 

In most cases, 'alimony,' or spousal support is designed to help the spouse with fewer resources to "get back on their feet."  Did you live together, and did you support him financially?  

 

Personally, I'd dig my heels in.  Sounds like it was a short marriage that didn't even progress to living together, and someone wants to harvest the US dollar.

I wholeheartedly concur, I would not give him a dime. Dig in your heels and go along for the ride. It's the I-864 you were worried about and now you have preempted that so what more can he do other than not sign the papers. But again I would not give him a dime papers signed or not!!!! Divorces you can run from but only for so long...ride it out and protect yourself! If he wants to fight he has to come here to the US and I do not see how that's going to happen. You have the upper hand at the moment! Do not I repeat do not discuss any personal details especially financial with him. Consider him a stranger now!

[Boiler 45,449]

Dovorce is a State issue but every case I have seen has allowed publication where delivery is not possible.

 

I can see a few thousand might be preferable to more legal fees, but then legal fees would be an issue for him if he wants to go in that direction.

 

Alimony? That seems a very long shot.

[Strawberrymermaid 346]

4 minutes ago, Boiler said:

Dovorce is a State issue but every case I have seen has allowed publication where delivery is not possible.

 

I can see a few thousand might be preferable to more legal fees, but then legal fees would be an issue for him if he wants to go in that direction.

 

Alimony? That seems a very long shot.

I just never know what a court will decide... I know this is just a grab for money and a couple thousand may appease him and he will settle. I don't want to be stuck with my attorney fees, his attorney fees, and additional money to pay him on top of that. Even though I'm just a "rich American" in his eyes lol

[Strawberrymermaid 346]

17 minutes ago, Sarge2155 said:

I wholeheartedly concur, I would not give him a dime. Dig in your heels and go along for the ride. It's the I-864 you were worried about and now you have preempted that so what more can he do other than not sign the papers. But again I would not give him a dime papers signed or not!!!! Divorces you can run from but only for so long...ride it out and protect yourself! If he wants to fight he has to come here to the US and I do not see how that's going to happen. You have the upper hand at the moment! Do not I repeat do not discuss any personal details especially financial with him. Consider him a stranger now!

I honestly could see him & his family pulling some kind of crazy request to get him an emergency US tourist visa to come to the US "and fight his ex wife who wronged him".

 

Aint love grand.. but aint divorce a real pain...

[Dashinka 24,481]

1 minute ago, Strawberrymermaid said:

I honestly could see him & his family pulling some kind of crazy request to get him an emergency US tourist visa to come to the US "and fight his ex wife who wronged him".

 

Aint love grand.. but aint divorce a real pain...

First of all, sorry you are going through this.  Like many others I followed your journey, and am sorry to see it has come to an end.

 

I don't have much to add at this point as I have never been involved in a divorce domestically or internationally, but I would caution that he certainly could try to get through our porous Southern Border, and getting to Mexico although difficult due to limited flights, might be an option.  I am not advocating paying him off or fighting him at this point, that is best left to you and your attorney, but hopefully you can wrap this up very soon to avoid any other potential drama.

 

Good Luck!