Worried and scared... Abusive spouse threatening to call USCIS

[Mike E 11,739]

18 hours ago, oat12 said:

And that I have been trying to file for a divorce (which I have because I do not believe we can work things out).

Did you attempt to file for divorce or after you entered the USA?

[Villanelle 4,122]

I can not believe how this thread has progressed. I feel like I should apologize to the OP for the unacceptable tone in this thread and am considering advising her to post in the VAWA megathread, even though she is not a VAWA case. But it appears to be the only place on VJ that is moderated to support victims of abuse rather than interrogate them.

 

Again there is nothing in the law that states she was required to come to the US to be with the husband. And before everyone tears apart that awkwardly worded sentence- the ir visa requires you to first have the US citizen or LPR file the 130 establishing the relationship. There is then the interview at the Embassy in which a decision is made and the visa issued.  Thats it. There is no follow-up determination. There are no requirements to live with your spouse. 

 

For the CR one would have to file ROC. But as we all know divorce is not a reason for ROC denial, hence the routinely approved divorce waiver filings. 

 

People here are getting caught up in the idea that her entering on the visa, which was properly approved and issued, must be wrong because morally they disagree with it. 

 

Again the visa was issued properly. There no fine print stating what you must do afterwards. It doesn't get revoked if things changed between it being issued or endorsed at POE. It can be stopped during that period if the petitioner requested such, but it wasn't. The relationship does NOT need to still be intact at POE. Im sorry if people disagree with such but thats how it is. 

 

I understand people think they are trying to help by connecting dots in a devils advocate fashion to show how a case 'could be' brought against her. But thats not how it works. The 'dots' being used are N/A. And then the comments suggesting she better not get involved in a new relationship! Wow.

 

Dig through the forums and find the postings by the user kkk1. He had a very similar story. He entered on an IR. Never lived with his spouse. Has since remarried and obtained citizenship with zero issue. He still checks in with the forums with updates and to express his gratitude for the support he received,  although under a new user name. 

 

This whole idea that the OP has done something wrong is very disheartening to read. Things change. She didn't obtain the visa under false pretenses. And this whole idea that well we don't know that, and it looks suspicious is nonsense.  Separation or divorce after the benefit was issued can be an indicator of bad intentions but it is not enough on it's own.  You all know this. So what else is there that could be considered 'a dot' to connect. 

 

She seems to have ample evidence of it being an unhealthy relationship. And this thread reads as people saying well you knew it was bad so you must have intentionally stayed for the benefits. Textbook victim blaming.  Its appalling.  

[powerpuff 6,611]

@Villanelle well said.

[Family 3,988]

46 minutes ago, Villanelle said:

unacceptable tone in this thread and am considering advising her to post in the VAWA megathread, even though she is not a VAWA case. But it appears to be the only place on VJ that is moderated to support victims of abuse rather than interrogate them.

I do hope I am allowed to disagree with judgment of “ tone in this thread” and allegations of failure by mods to rightfully sanction or move post to where it can be “ moderated to support victims of abuse rather than interrogate them”. 
 

OP began by stating “ OPTICS” don’t look good and Immigration can be “ RUTHLESS “. 
I could be wrong but so far none of the posters engaged in “ unacceptable “ behavior of questioning OP’s “ abuse claim”..rather engaging in the “ optics “ query…some even labeled as misogynistic for offering a version of such optical illusions possible. 
 

Me, I always fight for the underdog as my new Nigerian Hero @Josh or can attest to…I hope, cause I did grill him too! Lol 

 

 

[oat12 29]

2 hours ago, Mike E said:

Did you attempt to file for divorce or after you entered the USA?

I will provide further detail as my story is confusing and complex. My husband initially asked to file for a divorce. He sent me the documents that I was required to sign via email and rushed me for a signature which I provided. A week later he told me he never filed for the divorce and made me provide a signature just to waste my time and test me. At this point, I decided I would need to be the one to actually file for the divorce seeing as he was not honest or reliable. I have proof of all of this via email. 

When I e-filed for the divorce, it got rejected as I had filled it in wrong and I have not refiled since. I will be doing so very soon.

[oat12 29]

1 hour ago, Villanelle said:

I can not believe how this thread has progressed. I feel like I should apologize to the OP for the unacceptable tone in this thread and am considering advising her to post in the VAWA megathread, even though she is not a VAWA case. But it appears to be the only place on VJ that is moderated to support victims of abuse rather than interrogate them.

 

Again there is nothing in the law that states she was required to come to the US to be with the husband. And before everyone tears apart that awkwardly worded sentence- the ir visa requires you to first have the US citizen or LPR file the 130 establishing the relationship. There is then the interview at the Embassy in which a decision is made and the visa issued.  Thats it. There is no follow-up determination. There are no requirements to live with your spouse. 

 

For the CR one would have to file ROC. But as we all know divorce is not a reason for ROC denial, hence the routinely approved divorce waiver filings. 

 

People here are getting caught up in the idea that her entering on the visa, which was properly approved and issued, must be wrong because morally they disagree with it. 

 

Again the visa was issued properly. There no fine print stating what you must do afterwards. It doesn't get revoked if things changed between it being issued or endorsed at POE. It can be stopped during that period if the petitioner requested such, but it wasn't. The relationship does NOT need to still be intact at POE. Im sorry if people disagree with such but thats how it is. 

 

I understand people think they are trying to help by connecting dots in a devils advocate fashion to show how a case 'could be' brought against her. But thats not how it works. The 'dots' being used are N/A. And then the comments suggesting she better not get involved in a new relationship! Wow.

 

Dig through the forums and find the postings by the user kkk1. He had a very similar story. He entered on an IR. Never lived with his spouse. Has since remarried and obtained citizenship with zero issue. He still checks in with the forums with updates and to express his gratitude for the support he received,  although under a new user name. 

 

This whole idea that the OP has done something wrong is very disheartening to read. Things change. She didn't obtain the visa under false pretenses. And this whole idea that well we don't know that, and it looks suspicious is nonsense.  Separation or divorce after the benefit was issued can be an indicator of bad intentions but it is not enough on it's own.  You all know this. So what else is there that could be considered 'a dot' to connect. 

 

She seems to have ample evidence of it being an unhealthy relationship. And this thread reads as people saying well you knew it was bad so you must have intentionally stayed for the benefits. Textbook victim blaming.  Its appalling.  

Thank you so much for this!

It is one thing to be genuinely curious or sceptical but the tone in this thread has not reflected that at all. I usually love posting and engaging on here but I now feel somewhat disheartened by sharing my story of abuse. There seems to be some common ground that my abuse could not have been as bad because I was not living with my spouse and I just want those of you who think that to really take some time to educate yourselves on how abuse, gaslighting and manipulation tactics work. 

Once again, thank you @Villanellefor being so kind and well spoken and accepting of my story and thank you for the advice you have given.

[carmel34 3,611]

Wishing you very best wishes on your new life in the USA.  I hope everything goes well despite the difficult situation you are experiencing.  Divorce is tough, but you can make it through wiser and stronger.  Good luck!

[Mike E 11,739]

28 minutes ago, oat12 said:

I will provide further detail as my story is confusing and complex. My husband initially asked to file for a divorce. He sent me the documents that I was required to sign via email and rushed me for a signature which I provided.

This was before or after you entered the USA?

 

28 minutes ago, oat12 said:

 When I e-filed for the divorce

Was this before or after you entered the USA?

[oat12 29]

Just now, Mike E said:

This was before or after you entered the USA?

 

Was this before or after you entered the USA?

Both were after. He initiated a fake divorce and told me he had done it and then I tried to do it myself a few weeks later but it didn’t work. As of right now there is no divorce in the system.

[Ontarkie 14,193]

~~Multiple posts have been removed, along with some post for quoting removed posts.  Do not attack the poster. Stick to answering the OP's questions only.~~

Restrict or inhibit any other user from using and enjoying the Forums.

Make comments in a Post either direct or implied toward another member that are purposely designed to upset, antagonize, make fun of, belittle, harass, insult, or otherwise instigate an argument that takes away from the personal enjoyment of the Service by other users.

Edited July 14, 2022 by Ontarkie

[Dashinka 24,406]

I agree with most everyone else in this thread, from an immigration standpoint the OP is good to go, and if they want to remain on the US as an LPR they are all set.  It is unlikely the USC spouse has any concrete evidence of fraud or that they were duped into providing all the evidence for the I130, and the I864 showing a bonafide relationship.  If the OP decides to naturalize in 5 plus years, there may be questions, but who really knows for sure.  The rest is essentially divorce lawyer territory.

 

To the OP, Good Luck!

[African Zealot 1,455]

OP feel free to ask the mods to lock the thread. It appears to me you've received your answers.

 

Good luck.

[Mike E 11,739]

5 hours ago, oat12 said:

Both were after. He initiated a fake divorce and told me he had done it and then I tried to do it myself a few weeks later but it didn’t work. As of right now there is no divorce in the system.

You are fine then. 
 

You entered the USA with good intent appropriate for your visa. 
 

Do the divorce.  Use your  green card.  Best wishes for a better future.  

[Ontarkie 14,193]

~~One more post removed. Please stick to answering the OP's question and not continue the discussion of removed posts.~~

[oat12 29]

I would just like to update and say that my ex has emailed me again today with a written report that he will be submitting to USCIS. The report is all hearsay and I am happy to paste it here for any of you who would like to read his claims and advise me accordingly.

I would like to note once more that I entered the relationship in good faith and obtained the visa in good faith. If my ex had worked on his abusive tendencies, we would still be together today.