How have your friends treated you throughout this process?

[crazyinEgypt 0]

When I started this K-1 process in February 2005 I know many of my friends thought I was out of my mind. Some friends have/and still are being supportive and others I have totally lost contact with. An example is my so called "best friend" that I grew up with. We were both in each others weddings, when she went through a tempory separation with her husband I was always the one on the phone with her till the wee hours of the morning comforting her. When my ex- husband beat me, something would always come up for her when I needed a shoulder to cry on. When I went through my divorce I was lucky to get a phone call from her. Then the divorce is final and she starts giving my number out to EVERYONE! (Which I did not appreciate) Time goes by, I meet my fiance, I till her about him, she doesn't say too much. I fly to Egypt Feb 2005 and come home, and 3 weeks goes by and she calls me to see how it was, and I tell her all the details. Then a lot of tragedy in my family happens, and maybe 2 calls in 5 months. I might add that I call and leave messages for her to return my call which she does not do. One week before I leave for Egypt to stay here till the visa is received, I tell her I am leaving, she is very short with me because she is busy and she will "call right back" which she never did, and I leave for Egypt. Now she hears from my parents that when Amr and I get back we will be getting married so now I am getting emails from her asking me "What do you need your maid of honor to do?" What the hell??? I thought that is something for a dear, close friend to hold the honor of?

Second story, I met Amr through a friend of mine that was doing a K-1 with his friend. We became close, visited each other a few times, make plans to do things when we are all in the states and so on. Now her fiance now husband is with her and rarely do I hear from her. I know things change when you get married, but do you really right off your friends? I was very supportive of her when she was waiting for her fiances visa and let her vent when needed. Now I just to get vent to my VJ gals!

I am thinking about completly writing these gals off, because deep down I am hurt. Am I a monster for thinking like this or is it the AR psychosis I'm in making me feel this way?

Edited April 1, 2006 by crazyinEgypt

[Ladylethal 12]

My friends are a bit scared that Luis and I might not adapt too greatly once we´re living together, ´cus we only see each other on vacations every 6 months, without the pressure of work and everyday life, but they´re supportive of us and are happy for us.

My best friend complains I´m gonna be too far away and she´ll miss me though.

[KarenCee 3]

So far I've been lucky. My friends have been most supportive of Joel and me. They've met him, they've seen how much he loves me, and they know how much I love him. Sounds like a fair weather friend to me...and not a true one. As to whether to write them off, that would be up to you.

[Angelica 0]

Had only one really bad reaction . I went on holiday to the Dominican Republic with a friend who from the minute we met at the airport acted as if I wasn't there !! So much so that others in our party were amazed we had gone together !! She got seriously drunk one night and said she wasn't interested in having friends who were married or engaged and that she doubted my sanity in considering leaving England to live in the US. I've always considered sanity as overated myself

Kim

[Fandango 1,439]

My friends are pretty cool about this...very supportive...but most of them came after David, lol. It's sad to say but I don't keep track with most of my friends in south fl anymore You know the routine...busy with this that and the other....but I did have this best friend for 12 years named Jill who was pretty much jealous of me & David from the start. It's too long a story to get into cos it's completely convoluted, but when the London bombings happened, she didn't even call to see if we were ok. She knew I was going back and forth a lot, knew David had business in London from time to time - would it have killed her to call my mother?

So basically, she's out of my life now. It used to hurt, now I don't give a #######!

[ChristinaM 0]

For all the crocodile tears, I hear very little from the people I would have considered my "best" friends. They thought I was mad to go out and work on a cruiseship, much less to marry a man (an American one at that) I'd known for four months. I keep hold of one or two and we email one every couple of months, but they've moved on with their lives and so have I.

I still don't have friends here in Maine, so I can't really comment on that on an ongoing basis.

[MarkTexas 3]

I know most of my friends 20+ years.

My friends and I used to keep contact at least once a week through phone or E-mail.

Most of my friends were at first (because they were thinking-in the back of their minds- I wouldn’t follow through) very supportive.

But ever since they found that I AM SERIOUS, the contact got less and less!

I get hardly any e-mails these days, and a phone call is sooner an exception then a routine!

Today its been about 6 months ago that I actually have seen any of them, and even then I WENT to THEM!

And to visit them to grab a cup of coffee and chit chat a bit, you know, just drop in anytime like you used to do in the old days.

Well these days you have to plan THREE MONTHS ahead, and make an “Appointment” with them?!?!?!?

I still CAN’T believe that they told me to make an “appointment” with them?!?!?

The word; “Appointment” REALLY KILLS the drive-spirit to even go!

Damn even my dentist is quicker/easier/faster to reach then that!

Two weeks ago one of them CALLED UP. (Damn that caught me by surprise!)

At first I thought they were interested in ME, that they wanted to know “the how’s, what’s & where’s” about our immigration procedure.

But ONE minute into the conversation it became clear that they basically weren’t interested at all about how things were with ME,….they called because they were interested in stuff I got for sale right because of my immigration plans?!?!?

Damn THAT hurt!

The hell with them, I'm NOT going to sell anything to them,..not even if they want to pay three times the price!

Sooo, I think you could say, that I am fairly disappointed in my (20+yrs)"Friends".

Regards Mark.

[Dixie_Peach 1]

I have a friend who has been my best friend since 10th grade... almost 25 years...

On Thanksgiving Day last year, she told me that she had been talking to Human Resources at her job (she works at a nuclear plant)... and because of her contact with me... it could endanger any job opportunities that may arise for her there.. simply because Jamal is from a Muslim Country... and is MIDDLE EASTERN...

it was as if she truly expected me to just DROP the whole k1 process AND Jamal... because of our long friendship...

I told her that I loved her... and I was praying for her... and that if she "felt" that she had to give up a lifetime friendship... then, I was sorry... I hated to see her go... but that love doesn't recognize distance or boundaries... love just IS...

It ticks me off that people can be so shallow... so close-minded... so bigoted... oh lord the list goes on and on... she may not call me friend... but, I still call her friend... even though I have not spoken with her since Thanksgiving Day... and it hurts that I have to lose someone that I love so much... to be with the man who holds my heart...

Lynne

[iceyspots 0]

My friends are pretty much supportive!! But my one friend is still single.. and well.. rather kinda jealous. She's upset we can't go out and do the stuff single girls would.. but oh well...

[Ladylethal 12]

Right now I moved up the country from Rio to the Amazon, and I´m already experiencing what it will be like not having my friends when I move in with Luis, we send e-mails and chat on MSN but we miss each other, my friends and I, and I am afraid we might indeed loose contact after a year or so. We promised we´ll do our best to never stop e-mailing each other, ´cus we´re BESTEST friends and want to be there for each other no matter what.

This July I fly back to my hometown in Rio ´cus my best friend is having a baby, I want to be there to see her and the newborn (whom she said if was a girl, she´d name her after me, but we found out last week it´s actually a boy).

[Jasman0717 9]

All mine have been very supportive

[Ladylethal 12]

Yeah, it´s great to have this kind of support.

I must say that until our engagement my family didn´t believe we were actually so much in love and so sure of our love that we´d actually get married, but after we got engaged, they knew we were serious, and they´re being supportive of my decision to leave my country to be with him.

[Tiksman 0]

I have had a lot of friends turn away. I say F(**&*^ them they were never friends! Most of them left b/c my s/o is Buddist and to them it spoils their christian beliefs. So damm narrow minded and self centered. My advise get new friends. Don't waste your life on those who Don't contact you or really care for you in your hours of need.

[Fuzzness 2]

My friends are all interested in the process I'm going through and keep asking when the big day is. They've all been very supportive except for my aunt in NY but she won't be coming to the wedding her daughter, my cousin in Buffalo, is very supportive but tells me not to become too americanized

[MaryandMian 1]

I also lost alot of friends because my husband comes from Pakistan. It hurt in the beginning and then I realized that they were not friends if they could not support me now. If they had been friends they would of stood by me and not said awful comments and then disappeared. Hold your head up and remember you have to make your own happiness. Life is too short to please others and you be miserable.