Huge Age Gap...65/21

[RO_AH 1,659]

Just now, MarJhi said:

I'm sorry, but how many single mothers do you know in the US? How many of them are collecting child support? Comments about Western Men are not unfounded.

 

See, 2 can play that game. 😁

Not as many single mothers, and the courts can force child support so a vast majority do receive or the father can be put in jail.

 

I never saw this as a game. I am too old for games.

[elmcitymaven 9,712]

1 hour ago, DaveAndRudyLove said:

Yes, I can see that VJ had changed since the last time I really used it 12 years ago.  It's full of judgemental people making snide remarks. Making statements that they know nothing about. I will not post anything here again.  I'm done with VJ.

Nothing's changed, dude. I've been here over 15 years and it's always been full of Judgey McJudgefaces, exercising their internet-given right to judge. I've been both judge and judged, and after a while, I've embraced the hate and let it flow through me.

 

I'm always here for a decent flounce though.

 

[MarJhi 963]

11 minutes ago, RO_AH said:

Not as many single mothers, and the courts can force child support so a vast majority do receive or the father can be put in jail.

 

I never saw this as a game. I am too old for games.

Child support exists in the Philippines as well

[Boiler 45,532]

2 hours ago, laylalex said:

I was being polite.  

 

And I very much agree with everything you say here. 45 and 80 is a little out of the ordinary, but those are two people with entire lives of experience. The power balance is more equal.

You need to get Al to check your calculation.

[Redro 4,611]

3 hours ago, DaveAndRudyLove said:

She does not work overseas and never has.  She lives in the Philippines.

Apologies. I saw your old post about dating someone who was OFW. 

 

[flicks1998 1,044]

50 minutes ago, MarJhi said:

Child support exists in the Philippines as well

Its written into the Family Code, but unfortunately is never enforced.  I worked quite closely with a number of legal firms in Manila, mainly for Immigration but the lawyers I worked with would sometimes handle Family Law cases.  The best case child support cases could take 2-10 years to work their way through the courts with extreme financial burden to the one pursuing the support.  Most just cant afford it.  There are some non-profit NGOs but they are not effective.  The ones with the financial means to pursue support (less than 5% of the population) and have the perseverance to go through the process end up finding out that its not enforceable.  Yes, the Family Code says that the father needs to pay, that deduction etc can be made from paychecks, etc etc but in real world practice it is BS.  Speak to any HR rep for any company if they have employees having payroll deductions for child support and it will be zero.  Even if a father has a judgement against him and he decides to not pay, nothing happens.  Police are not going to show up and arrest him, he is not going to be called into court, etc etc.  In 20+ years in the country, I never heard of a successful case.  Lawyers will always tell you they will try.  Most decent fathers just pay voluntarily.  I know alot who do this and I also know alot of single mothers who never receive any type of support, more the latter I would say. 

 

As for the OP finding someone in their 40s, 50, 60 etc and narrowing the age gap, there can be risks to this as well.  Normally a Filipina in that age range will have been married in the past.  Most Filipinos without the financial means (again 95%+ of the population) will just separate and start 2nd families as they cannot afford an annulment.  However one of the "scams" would be to find a foreigner and not tell them that they were previously married.  Then if the relationship develops to that advanced stage, the surprise comes to the foreigner and because they are now "in love", they will be asked to finance the annulment.  This will take a number of years and once that is complete, the person breaks up with the foreigner and marries a local.  I always advised foreigners coming into the Philippines if they were going to take any person serious to have them get a CENOMAR immediately when the relationship moved to that level.  It saves a ton of heartbreak and expense.  Annulment's generally take years and the cheapest ones I have seen end up costing $5K+ USD.  One of the teams I managed in Singapore had a Filipino on it who was going through an annulment.  His took 5 years and he ended up spending a little more than $25K USD.  On the team I managed in Manila, none of them started the annulment process.

 

I also worked quite closely with USEM and knew a number of COs etc etc over the years.  They have seen it all and generally speaking, are pretty non-judgemental although occasionally you did get a bad egg here and there.  I relocated Ambassador Kim and some of the other COs into the country and his demeanor carried over to the other Embassy personnel.  I dont think the OP will have too much of an issue with USEM even with the age difference.  Just follow the rules as everyone else and the interview should be successful.  

[Villanelle 4,122]

Many Neuroscientists will say the brain does not fully mature until age 25.

 

Thats why a relationship between a 40 yr old and a 65 yr old (25 years) is completely different from a 25 yr age gap between a 20 yr old and a 45yr old. You can say its lifes maturity and experience that makes a difference or I don't know- it could be actual science!  I know some people don't believe in science though. 

 

The first wife was what 19? Not even old enough to buy alcohol! Why? Because alcohol is considered as a beverage for 'responsible adults ' and a 19yr old isnt. You have to be 25 to rent a car in a lot of places. This is because the insurance companies have figured out what the scientists have been saying is true. Or perhaps they saw the proof in the numbers because that's what matters most to them I guess. 

 

But regardless, a reason why interviews are done locally overseas is because regions can have different what is" culturally appropriate here " considerations taken in to account.  In the PI it is perfectly acceptable for young girls to marry older stable men. Shouldn't be any issue.

[RO_AH 1,659]

18 minutes ago, Villanelle said:

The first wife was what 19? Not even old enough to buy alcohol! Why? Because alcohol is considered as a beverage for 'responsible adults ' and a 19yr old isnt.

Drinking age is 18 in the Philippines.

[Ontarkie 14,227]

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